How will I handle these delicate decisions about inviting and seating guests at our wedding?
Q. I just got engaged yesterday. We had talked about it for a while before hand so I knew it was going to happen... I just didn't know when! Anyhow my fiance and I had just booked a months holiday to California so we were going to secretly elope in ...
A. 10 May 2016: You invite the partners, and I assume you will be seating people at round tables of .... say 10? Mum and new partner, Dad and new partner, grooms mum and dad, 1 set of grandparents both sides, and they all act like adults. If no grandparents then ... (read in full...)
He can't break her hold
Q. Why can't a married man give up his long term mistress? Even when he has tried more than once to stop the affair due to guilt and fear of being caught? Why can he NOT let her go? Despite so many attempts? His mistress has told him she does n...
A. 10 May 2016: PS the woman isn't using some sort of black magic to force him to stay with her, he has made that decision all on his own, regardless if he is in love or not, he certainly doesn't respect you or the contract he entered into with you when you ... (read in full...)
He can't break her hold
Q. Why can't a married man give up his long term mistress? Even when he has tried more than once to stop the affair due to guilt and fear of being caught? Why can he NOT let her go? Despite so many attempts? His mistress has told him she does n...
A. 10 May 2016: What you should do is just go along as you have for the next few months, without letting your husband get suspicious, use the time he is with the other woman to do some research, quietly start stashing as much cash as you can without him noticing, ... (read in full...)
Does my fiance's female friend fancy him? Should I be concerned? How should I handle this situation?
Q. I really need some advice please I feel awful. My boyfriend and I got engaged recently and I couldnt be happier about it, there is just one thing that is really getting me down and making ne question everything. He has a female school friend w...
A. 6 May 2016: Oh sweetheart, on reading your followup I don't think it matters what you do ..... maybe its time to issue the ultimatum, but if you do, please be prepared to follow through
tell him either you meet her within a few days, so that you can be on th... (read in full...)
She’s annoyed that my parents won’t allow us to spend the night in the same bed! What should I say to her?
Q. Hello, I've been seeing this girl for around 1 month and a half. We are both 19 and Last week i stayed over at hers and everything is fine and we stayed in her room in her bed. She is due to come over and stay at mine but she will be sleeping...
A. 6 May 2016: you have been seeing her for a mere six weeks, so 40 or 50 days, and her parents are okay with her and you sharing a bed in their house already?
Nope. Nope, nope, nope, just nope!
Now tell your spoilt brat of a girlfriend it doesn't matter i... (read in full...)
Does my fiance's female friend fancy him? Should I be concerned? How should I handle this situation?
Q. I really need some advice please I feel awful. My boyfriend and I got engaged recently and I couldnt be happier about it, there is just one thing that is really getting me down and making ne question everything. He has a female school friend w...
A. 5 May 2016: Tell him you are sorry, tell him you love him so much you just went crazy for a while, then tell him to show him you support him and his friendships you want to invite her over for dinner or a backyard BBQ.
Ask him to find out which date next wee... (read in full...)
Our long distance relationship is a struggle! Advice?
Q. My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I love her to absolute death, but there are two major problems. Number one is the fact that long distance relationships are already sexually frustrating, but she isn't even interested or ready ...
A. 4 May 2016: I am going to assume you asked this question as well: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-we-in-a-serious-relationship-or-not.html
I am also going to be quite blunt with my answer.
It appears from your previous question the decision to move... (read in full...)
When travelling, what are your pet peeves about the people you meet and the places you visit outside of your own country?
Q. This is not a relationship issue, it's just something recreational if any of you wants to humour me up. So : yesterday I was reading on a travellers' forum a thread called "Why Italians are so rude." Now, .. Italian can be rude, I am not argui...
A. 30 April 2016: What gets my goat are people who travel in foreign countries and expect everything to be just the same as at home, culture, including religion, homes, food, and who shout at non English speakers as if that is going to make them understood.
There... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to contact him after all these years?
Q. I am 40 and decided to make contact with a guy who I recognised from many years ago, he replied and we got into text conversation with each other for a short time. However since I contacted him, the shop where I have seen him a lot, he has now ...
A. 27 April 2016: You have written about this man a few times already, more recently in February and March this year:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/his-comment-was-so-vague-how-do-i.html
http://ww... (read in full...)
He’s been chatting with women online and now has booked a solo trip to a country where one lives! I need opinions on this!
Q. Hello everyone, Me and hubby have been together 7yrs and married for 3. We have a 4 yr old daughter..He has been talking to women who he has friended from social media. He doesn't know any of them. But to some he will start talking in a way...
A. 26 April 2016: Here is my suggestion, if there is nothing in it and he doesn't view his actions as cheating, ask him for the contact details for the woman he is going to visit, so that you and she are both on the same page.
He is cheating on you, emotiona... (read in full...)
He’s been chatting with women online and now has booked a solo trip to a country where one lives! I need opinions on this!
Q. Hello everyone, Me and hubby have been together 7yrs and married for 3. We have a 4 yr old daughter..He has been talking to women who he has friended from social media. He doesn't know any of them. But to some he will start talking in a way...
A. 26 April 2016: Here is my suggestion, if there is nothing in it and he doesn't view his actions as cheating, ask him for the contact details for the woman he is going to visit, so that you and she are both on the same page.
He is cheating on you, emotiona... (read in full...)
Are we in a serious relationship or not?
Q. I just recently made my best friend my girlfriend (we've known each other for two years) and I love her to absolute death. The problem is, we aren't in a serious relationship. She says she likes me but is not lesbian and would prefer if I was a guy. ...
A. 23 April 2016: No, you are an actual relationship, your long distance friend has told you she prefers guys, and you need to accept she is heterosexual.
You can remain best friends, but there is no future here if you only want a romantic or sexual connecti... (read in full...)
What do you think of a guy who is torn between two women?
Q. This guy and a girl date for a year. it's not an easy relationship. They fight a lot but somehow make it work. One day he cheats on her, she finds out and they break up for 9 months. She wants him back so they get back together. Right around t...
A. 14 April 2016: It doesn't seem to me that this man is "torn" at all. I think he takes the easy way, when it gets a bit tough with one woman he will simply put her on the back burner and go to the other woman, and when the time comes he will go back to the first ... (read in full...)
He's asked for a second chance and I said no. Should I let him back? He's so jealous.
Q. I was in a relationship with this guy and at the beggining everything was great.it was my first relationship so i was really excited so was he. he was really in love with me and after a month he first told me he loved me. BUT he was jealous all ...
A. 30 March 2016: He has already had his second, and third and fourth chance. Each time you have tried to discuss the issues you were giving him another chance, and each time he blew his chances by calling you names.
No more chances, block his number, block hi... (read in full...)
I think I'm turning into a bunny boiler! How do I explain things to my ex and move on?
Q. Help - I think I'm turning into a bunny boiler!! How do I reverse this and make people trust me again? Without going into too much details - I was dumped by my ex, blocked and given no explanation. He wouldn't answer my calls or explain what I'd...
A. 26 March 2016: Does the one or two things you've tried include sending nasty, anonymous messages?
If then people you want to trust you again are your ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend I think you need to accept that is not going to happen.
You also need... (read in full...)
Should I stay good friends with my ex for our son's sake?
Q. I have an issue that is sort of complicated. I have an ex fiancé and we have a son who is currently 3 years old. We were together about 4 and a half years or so. The reason we broke up is well he had cheated on me with a woman he had met. This st...
A. 24 March 2016: This man is not your friend, however, he is the father of your child and for your child's sake you can have an amicable relationship with him.
There are going to be lots of milestones and special days that you and your ex will be celebrat... (read in full...)
How do I cope with my brother moving up his wedding to take place right in the middle of my exams?
Q. A sibling has moved up their wedding due to complications with their wedding venue. They could have postponed it a month. Now the wedding is in the middle of my exam season. How do I cope with this? I know I sound selfish but these exams are very ...
A. 24 March 2016: Life throws "stuff" at us all the time, and we need to be like the grass that bends with the wind ....
So, start planning how you are going to deal with it now, what are your options, will you be sitting an exam at the same time he will be getti... (read in full...)
I think all my experience in improving myself should be there for all to see, otherwise why even try. What do you think?
Q. 26 years of working for the same company and i am suddenly unemployed. Basically i dont know what to do, they paid redundancy but offered no help in regards to securing another job. While i may have work experience my job advisor keeps going on ...
A. 24 March 2016: Assuming the UK system is similar to Australia's (as they are in many ways) see if you can get some sort of Recognition of Prior Learning (RPL) for the in house courses, your job provider should be able to advise on this.
I have also done in house... (read in full...)
My wife refuses to accept my wish to be a woman.
Q. I would like to know why, my wife cannot understand that I want to be a woman. She see's me every day for the past 2 years dressed as a woman, she knows I pluck my eyebrows and have my ears pierced, she has even caught me more than once being with ...
A. 22 March 2016: I assume you have done the sums, and worked out how to provide for your wife so that she does not suffer as a result of your desire to be other than her husband ....
I also assume you and she have attended counselling and you are both aware of... (read in full...)
My wife refuses to accept my wish to be a woman.
Q. I would like to know why, my wife cannot understand that I want to be a woman. She see's me every day for the past 2 years dressed as a woman, she knows I pluck my eyebrows and have my ears pierced, she has even caught me more than once being with ...
A. 22 March 2016: I assume you have done the sums, and worked out how to provide for your wife so that she does not suffer as a result of your desire to be other than her husband ....
I also assume you and she have attended counselling and you are both aware of... (read in full...)
Why isn’t she wearing her bra in this instance?
Q. OK I don't mean to sound creepy or pervie, but what does it mean when my economics tutor at uni doesn't wear her bra when I was alone with her? Does she like me? Because during class in the morning I noticed her bra straps but later in the afternoon ...
A. 22 March 2016: Well, there you go, she only goes braless when around you, or in the comfort of her own how, as your snooping and stalking has told you. There MUST be a special, flirty, c'mon message in her removing her bra, meant just for you ...
OR, if your ... (read in full...)
He confessed he wasn't ready, and now he wants me to relocate to be near him
Q. My long distance relationship ended today and by ended I mean I tried to end it but we're still arguing! Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years, 10 months of this has been long distance. We met at University, but after we graduated, de...
A. 21 March 2016: I just want to add, arguing solves nothing, if there is no willingness on his part to discuss options or compromise leave it at that. Tell him you are not prepared to argue (because it solves nothing) and then block his number, block him on social ... (read in full...)
He wants my help obtaining a British passport renewal
Q. Hey Aunts, There is a guy I've been talking to on for 5 months. We get along quite well and he plans to come to our country for a visit this summer (his is part nationality here). We like each other, just not in-love and we talk on a variety of ...
A. 21 March 2016: Run away, don't walk, don't look back, but run away, very fast!
If he wants to communicate with his sister, there are many. many ways he could do that, send registered mail, make a phone call, email, text .... pay for an ad on TV.
I would not b... (read in full...)
He confessed he wasn't ready, and now he wants me to relocate to be near him
Q. My long distance relationship ended today and by ended I mean I tried to end it but we're still arguing! Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years, 10 months of this has been long distance. We met at University, but after we graduated, de...
A. 21 March 2016: Tell him to go blow it out his bum!
However, if you would prefer to keep the door open for this relationship let him know that based on his admission he is not ready to commit, you are not prepared to give up a good job and move to an uncertai... (read in full...)
Blocked by my ex and his new girlfriend. How do I make things better?
Q. How do I make this situation better? My ex and his new girlfriend fell out with me big time. I tried to talk them round - but they didn't want to know. So I got annoyed and sent them 1 or 2 nasty anonymous text messages - but they guessed it was ...
A. 18 March 2016: Hello, hello, in their position I would probably view you as a bit of a psycho as well.
You sent nasty messages, and tried to hide the fact it was you doing it, why do you think they should now have anything to do with you?
Its not up to your e... (read in full...)
Why did my married man detach so quickly?
Q. Hi I am new and don't even know if I'm in the right forum. I was having an online affair with a MM for a cpl months. He said he was unhappily married and only there for the kids and I could relate because although I am not married I've been with my ...
A. 18 March 2016: The MM was in it for the fantasy, and the thrills. Your boyfriend finding out was a wake up call, he realised what he was risking and tried to pull back, but he was too late because your revenge on his was to call his wife and tell her all.
I sus... (read in full...)
My negative and weird boyfriend makes me wonder if I could live my whole life with him
Q. My bf is so negative and downright weird. Like I know I have my own issuse that I'm dealing with a pyschologist, bt his shit is next level. Everytime he gets mad, he'll either insult me, break up with me or tell me he'll take the wii from me bec he ...
A. 17 March 2016: I wouldn't be able to deal with that for a month, let alone for the rest of my life .... have you got somewhere else to go? I would be looking for a way out in your situation.
If you feel he might get nastier if you try to leave, there are a nu... (read in full...)
I am in a lifeless relationship!
Q. I feel as though I'm in a lifeless, passionless, boring relationship with my long term boyfriend. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. At first it was exciting and very passionate. But time took its toll and that passion has been lost. Ou...
A. 15 March 2016: Your boyfriend has got lazy, he thinks he doesn't have to make an effort because you have been together for three years and because you have accepted this nothing of a relationship, thinks nothing will change.
You say you have tried voicing ... (read in full...)
Time and time again I take him back, only to be rejected again!
Q. I am seeking advice, I have been involved with a man whom ive been on and off with for 5 years. we were together for a solid year and a half, and he broke it off. The breakup was devastating for me, I thought he was the one. since then we have bee...
A. 15 March 2016: Disappear, make it so that he CAN'T initiate contact again, the only reason he can do this currently is because YOU let him.
Give yourself a good shake, and then block him all over the place, block his number on your cell, block him on ALL soci... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel offended my friend has been ignoring me?
Q. I am so angry and very hurt with my so called "best friend". We have been friends 30+ years, since grade school. She is an intensely private person who hates phone calls, she NEVER calls, when she can be bothered to get back to me she texts. S...
A. 13 March 2016: I read it as being time to let the friendship go, she is an adult and should be able to make decisions for herself, even if that decision is to do nothing, or let her sister rule who she communicates with.
You say it yourself, maybe she is over ... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend act unreasonable in this situation?
Q. Did my boyfriend act unreasonable in this situation? Now my boyfriend has said that he hates when I drink alcohol, I don't drink often and when I do its at family birthdays and bbq's in the house. Hes always with me when I drink because I invite ...
A. 8 March 2016: Stephanie, on the list I suggested you write in your previous post, in the negative column write that he is attempting to control your interaction with YOUR DAD and that he called you a bitch.
http:... (read in full...)
I used to tell him that we should break up, but now that we have I feel devastated!
Q. Hi, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible. Im devastated that my boyfriend of 11 months broke up with me. I also feel a lot of guilt as I know I am to blame for it and it's eating away at me. I've always supported him, I cooked food ...
A. 7 March 2016: Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie.
I know that you feel devastated and very sad at how things have turned out, but really, what is it you have lost?
So, as you say you don't know what to do, here is a little exercise to get you started:
Ge... (read in full...)
Would you ever be friends with an ex bf/gf who 'broke your heart' ?
Q. Would you ever be friends with an ex bf/gf who 'broke your heart' ? I was in a relationship for 3 years with a guy who I was really in love with and saw myself marrying one day. We talked about marriage and kids in the future, it was a pretty ser...
A. 6 March 2016: Short answer: NO
Think about why a man, who knows he broke your heart and who is still with the woman he left you for would want to be friends with you .... what's in it for him?
Maybe he needs a back up plan in case his current relationship... (read in full...)
I'd been seeing a co-worker who does have a girlfriend and now he's blocked me, is blanking me and has told everyone at work everything! How do I approach this situation?
Q. I have been seeing this guy from work since Mid December (I know it's risky and a 'no go' with colleagues from work, but there's something about him I like, and he admitted he likes me too, and when we were out on our Christmas Night Out we ended up ...
A. 2 March 2016: He is acting like that because his girlfriend caught him cheating, it seems he has decided his relationship with her is more important than whatever it was he had with you.
I am sorry you feel like a mug, and that you are having to learn this les... (read in full...)
I've been hung up on him for two years but haven't been able to rekindle our friendship or relationship! What should I do?
Q. So there's this guy that I've been hung up on for the past two years nearly. When we first met we instantly became friends maybe even a tiny bit more (constant flirting, long conversations etc). Then after a couple of months things got awkward. I ...
A. 22 February 2016: You have tried and tried to get the friendship back, and he keeps rejecting your overtures ..... how many times are you going to repeat the exercise?
There is a poem by Portia Nelson, called Autobiography in five short chapters, I recommen... (read in full...)
Do I lose a friend? Or a potential boyfriend?
Q. i have a problem.there is this new boy in my class and i realy like him. the problem is he oikes my best freind and she goes out with him even though she knows that i really like him what am i going to do i am either going to lose a boyfreind or a...
A. 21 February 2016: You don't have a boyfriend to lose, and even if your best friend stopped going out with him tomorrow there is no guarantee that he would then view you as potential girlfriend material.
Even if your best friend didn't know that you really like him... (read in full...)
My friend's boyfriend tried to make out with me!
Q. i liked this guy for a few months and i found out 5 days ago that my friend is dating him yes i was heartbroken but soon i git over it and just went on in life. But one day he texted me to come over at that moment i relised i still liked him but u ...
A. 19 February 2016: Why oh why did you agree to go over to his house ... it certainly doesn't sound like you went to borrow a cup of sugar.
Next time some guy asks you over to his, think about why you are being asked, what is the ulterior motive.
In the meanti... (read in full...)
What have I done to these women? How should I respond if a similar situation arises?
Q. Does anyone else struggle in social settings? I'm a young mum and my 3 year old was invited to her friends Birthday party. We went along and I seen none of the Mums I speak to from the Nursery were there, and I was the youngest Mum. I tried b...
A. 19 February 2016: What a bunch of dirty rotten stinking old biddies!
I am glad your daughter enjoyed herself and didn't pick up on the vibes of the day.
Who knows why this nest of poisonous vipers acted the way they did, but my advise (and I am older than your ... (read in full...)
What are the stages between the state of being lovers to the state of being friends?
Q. What are the stages of going from lovers to friends? My ex lover wants to be friends and I don't know how to go about it. Can it work? I'm still attracted to him and I know he likes me....
A. 19 February 2016: Why would you accept friendship when you want more?
Why does he want to be friends if he 'likes' you?
You ask if it can work, I think as long as you are still attracted to him that you will always be wanting more than friendship. Why put your... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend is acting distant but he still wants to be with me. I am not sure what's going on?
Q. Please no judgment. I have been having an affair with a married man for close to 3 years. It's been amazing. But lately he seems a little more distant. His texts are less frequent and shorter. He says he is just being cautious. He sexted me ...
A. 18 February 2016: Hello there, I was married to a cheater once upon a time, and a few years after I decided that I wasn't going to accept that anymore and left him, I found myself in a relationship with a married man, so I am somewhat qualified to respond to your ... (read in full...)
Where do I draw the line with LDR BF who is becoming provocative and sexually disrespectful?
Q. Hi there, I’m after some advice about a new relationship. It’s long distance and we met online. He’s a bit older than me and has been married before. He’s not really my type but pursued me, was incredibly lovely to me at the beginning, we ha...
A. 17 February 2016: dear girl, he is not so sweet, he is manipulating you into being something and doing things that you don't want to be forced into being and doing.
The flakey and disrespectful behaviour is who he is, not the sweet guy he pretended to be to reel ... (read in full...)
| *unty BimBim's friends
These are mutual friends, so *unty BimBim has
added them and they have added *unty BimBim!
|
