Not sure if 'No' means no for good
Q. Asked a female out for a drink from the office of where I work and she said she would get back to me. And she did, unfortunately it wasn't good news. It was a rejection reply. I absolutely hate them. Anyway she explained she wasn't able to see me ...
A. 26 June 2016: Oh my!
How do you know she lied?
Are you aware women need to be careful how they tell some men they are not interested in dating?
In the past year 14 women in the US have been attacked or killed for saying no to a date .... google it!
W... (read in full...)
She rejected my invitation. I still want to be friends. How do I keep things light when I see her again?
Q. Hello agony aunts So this week I asked a female friend of mine if she wanted to meet for a coffee sometime and I mentioned we don't get opportunities to talk at work with our different schedules. Which is true as we don't do, anyway to cut ...
A. 25 June 2016: I also wouldn't worry too much about this one, we all say things, almost through habit sometimes, that we have already been given the answer to.
There have been occasions where I've been told something, and then in the same conversation asked th... (read in full...)
She rejected my invitation. I still want to be friends. How do I keep things light when I see her again?
Q. Hello agony aunts So this week I asked a female friend of mine if she wanted to meet for a coffee sometime and I mentioned we don't get opportunities to talk at work with our different schedules. Which is true as we don't do, anyway to cut ...
A. 25 June 2016: I also wouldn't worry too much about this one, we all say things, almost through habit sometimes, that we have already been given the answer to.
There have been occasions where I've been told something, and then in the same conversation asked th... (read in full...)
Beginning to hate this marriage. Is he just trying to control me via money I earn? What should I do?
Q. Really could do with some help. I've just passed a course so I can teach English to foreign students. My husband is from Poland and wants me to go and live there with him. Five years ago I gave him a few thousand pounds which I never saw again and ...
A. 24 June 2016: In some places all money and assets are automatically shared 50/50 within a marriage, however, in the real world that is not always the case, especially when one partner in the marriage is doing all the earning and the other all the spending.
... (read in full...)
How can I fit in with new work colleagues? Some are not very nice
Q. Some of our departments have merged at work, whats a good way to get along with new colleagues? Edit None of us new to the workplace but 1/3 of us ( maybe 13 of us) have moved to new much bigger a...
A. 24 June 2016: I'm surprised your HR department didn't organise some combined training sessions or similar, with coffee and cookies, to help break the ice between the two groups. The younger managers probably lack the degree of maturity needed to oversee the ... (read in full...)
Is rejection good or bad? How does one accept and deal with rejection?
Q. I asked a female who is beautiful from work on social media if she fancied meeting me for a coffee to get to know me better. This was today, we are good friends on social media, and I decided the time was right to ask her and to seize the day. And...
A. 24 June 2016: Rejection is a two edged sword, sometimes its a good thing and sometimes it feels like the end of the world.
In your case I think its a good thing, you knew you liked this girl, so instead of wondering if the feelings were reciprocated or not you ... (read in full...)
He's accusing me of not locking the door. Why would he become be so accusatory towards me??
Q. I just moved into an apartment with a room-mate. And there's been a situation that I would like your opinion on: My room-mate came home after being gone for a week, and discovers some boxes for him on his bed, that he ordered. So he asks me if I ...
A. 24 June 2016: Quite frankly he sounds a bit nuts, lets be honest, it is very unlikely that you forgot to lock the door, allowing enter, who then locked the door on the way out ...... really?
Personally I would be quietly looking for a new place to live, un... (read in full...)
Is he serious about our future?
Q. Hi all, I am in a long-distance relationship. I am from Italy, my partner is Spanish and has been living in Germany for over 15 years now. He was unemployed for ages but now has a good job, it is on a contract basis but they love him and have sai...
A. 23 June 2016: I can understand your frustration as it appears you are the one in this relationship who is accommodating with travelling and the expenses involved in that.
I think it would be best to sit down and have an earnest, honest, in depth discussi... (read in full...)
Why did she contact her ex? I sent him a "no contact" email from her account 2 years ago!
Q. Hi, I have been living with my girlfriend for 2 years now. I'm English living in Costa Rica and she's Costa Rican. When we first met I found her text an American man she used to work with. I found out they were having sex,skyping and sending rude ...
A. 20 June 2016: Oh Boy! You had no right to check her emails, you certainly had NO RIGHT to email that man telling him no contact and signing it with her name, no right at all! Its no wonder she is angry ..... as for her contacting him to catch up when she went to ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a friendship with this guy but also raise my concerns as a means to support him over issues that seem concerning to me?
Q. Dear Cupid...I'm strongly attracted to a single guy but I get intense feelings of concern/worry about his well-being and I worry that I'm going to end up revealing my concerns and he will cut me out of his life because he hates it when people worry ...
A. 20 June 2016: How do you know he would disagree with your belief his parents have not protected him? In what way did they not care or support him, and when was this, when he was a child, a teenager or an adult?
I am assuming he is in the same age range as yours... (read in full...)
My best guy friend told me he has feelings for me, what should I do?
Q. Hey, so I'm having an issue with my best guy friend... I'll briefly explain my situation, He and I have been friends for about 3 years now. We actually met at my college, we became friends through a really odd circumstance where we just used to ...
A. 20 June 2016: Nope, he changed your friendship for ever when he made his declaration .... you can't go back to that.
He wanted to know if you felt the same way and he found out that you didn't. I think he will try and move on and you should respect that. I... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to quit his job after only 1 week. I told him I'd break up with him if he does so!
Q. Hello, I would like your advice on whether I am being too harsh on my boyfriend. My boyfriend was without a job for quite some months and recently landed a customer service job. He has experience working in a call center environment before so hi...
A. 20 June 2016: Its a big question;
"but if a guy is not serious about his career and does not see the big picture and just quits whenever he wants to... how can I rely on him to be responsible enough build a future and family with me?"
You could put the qu... (read in full...)
His kiss has upset my calm
Q. I have a bf of over a year however recently something happened with a work colleague. The guy from work kissed me after a night out but now has said we can't talk outside of work anymore as his gf thinks there is something between us. I'm feeli...
A. 19 June 2016: Why would you reach out to the guy at work has already told you there will not even be any TALKING outside of work?
I would suggest that comment should let you know he is not interested, even if you do think there is some sort of chemical reaction... (read in full...)
Overwhelming depression has descended on me knowing my Bf will be away with his family until July. How can I stop this depression? What do I need to do about this?
Q. My boyfriend is away on a trip with his family. He hasn't even been gone two days and won't be back until the first week of July. I am not sure if this is normal but I am severely depressed. I have been crying a lot and have isolated myse...
A. 19 June 2016: What, two or three weeks?
You say you are not sure if your reaction is normal, well, it depends, let me ask for some clarification to help me answer your question.
When you say he has gone with his family, what do you mean, is it his parent... (read in full...)
What is my Bf's mother's problem? I try to be nice and friendly and she is horrible back to me.
Q. I went to visit my boyfriend (23). First thing she says is your eating at this time, looking down on me. She is then silent. I felt awkward. So I tried to start a friendly conversation. I said my sister got 3 kittens to look after. She said how...
A. 18 June 2016: If you are being nice and friendly, when four days ago you were calling overbearing and complaining about how she acts like she owns her own home ........
http:... (read in full...)
Lonely in a foreign hospital waiting for medical evacuation to a spinal unit and despite this my Gf is uncaring about the severity of the situation. Time to get rid of the Gf?
Q. I had a motorcycle accident last saturday whilst on holiday where I was initially paralysed from the neck down then recovered feelings. It will be a long term healing process as I struggle to walk, have spine damage etc. I am determined to do what I ...
A. 18 June 2016: First up if she didn't care she would not have "brcome an hysterical wreck and contacted the police when I didnt grt back."
Maybe she is all those things you said, maybe ...... but maybe she was also struggling with the news, and instead of addin... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with the right words to use in an email to tell her how much I like her. What would be the best way to do this?
Q. I'm an autistic male and find it hard to communicate with people and make friends and it's hard for me to write an email to someone, as it comes out as jumbled crap, as I've so many words in my head and when I write it out it comes out much worse as ...
A. 18 June 2016: Hold off on declarations of feelings for the time being, if you are friends on social media you could PM her something along the lines off "its hard to talk at work, I'd like to get to know you better, would you like to catch up for coffee or a ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be upset about my boyfriend going on a "men's day out"? no women allowed.
Q. Am I right to be upset about my boyfriend going out for the day with his male friends?. He is going out for the day with his male friends this afternoon. He said no women are allowed. He said they go on a day out together every year. He also to...
A. 18 June 2016: There are two separate issues here
1. The men only day out
2. He doesn't take you out
I'll deal with the second issue first, if you and your boyfriend meet up at his local pub, where he would be going anyway, that does not qualify as he an... (read in full...)
Cancelled dates comfusing me
Q. I really like someone for the first time in a few months and I'm trying to show I'm available without been too desperate but I just end up feeling more rejected at the moment. She has been having a hard time lately and has to go through a court case ...
A. 12 June 2016: You say yourself that she is having a hard time at the moment, and from what you have written she is! Court cases, suffering concussion, (not fun), a pregnant, cheated on friend, three kids that aren't hers and you .... feeling rejected. To be ... (read in full...)
He wants to have sex on Skype! Do you think anything serious can come out of this?
Q. Hi, iam on a dating site, I received a message from man aged 53, he was saying how he liked my profile and would like to get to know me. I checked his profile it said looking for serious relationship leading to marriage, he also said that he likes ...
A. 12 June 2016: The only serious thing that could come of this is serious repercussions!
This is not respectful he is probably going to record you and then who knows what he will do with the video.
I would report him to the dating site and then block his n... (read in full...)
What's going on with my best guy friend? I'm so confused!
Q. My best friend is a male, and I'm a female. Everywhere we go, people think we're a couple and that's why I think it's hard for me to get a boyfriend or even go on a date because I find it hard to approach guys because I've been in this situation for ...
A. 9 June 2016: You think you are confused, but what about HIM? First he fancied the pants off you, but you weren't interested, then he says he is going to come out as gay and now he is dating a woman .... seems he can't make up his mind if he is Arthur or ... (read in full...)
He's dating one of my best friends. I really like him. He keeps asking me out, and I reject him. What can I do?
Q. So I've like this boy in my year for a while now but he's going out with one of my best friends. However he is still showing signs of liking me after over two years of him liking me. All the time he asked he out I rejected him. We are now really c...
A. 7 June 2016: The fact this boy is already going out with somebody and yet is asking you to go out with him shows he is a flake and a jerk!
It is a scientific fact girls mature earlier than boys, which would suggest you are going to outgrow him soon anyway, ... (read in full...)
Does it seem that this type of man would love a girl of this nature? What's the attraction?
Q. Can this guy really be deeply in love with this girl? I have a college classmate/group member who I kind of have a crush on, but his relationshiup with his girlfriend is kind of questionable. Had a friend ask him if he has a girlfriend, and ...
A. 7 June 2016: No matter what you think of his choice in women, she is the one he has chosen, and as he told your friend, he loves her!
No matter that you feel he would be a better suit with somebody he talks philosophy, religion and politics (somebody like YOU... (read in full...)
Should I presume that our relationship is over? He thinks I lied. I did not lie to him.
Q. My now ex-boyfriend found out from his sister that my ex boyfriend was married and even me telling him that we were just friends. He just cannot believe me to a point he gave me a lecture in a restarant where the other diners stared at me and i ju...
A. 1 June 2016: You could, if you really want to, contact him, maybe send a text, let him know your daughter contacted you because she was concerned about him .......... (I know that is not why she left those messages)
You could try including in the text tha... (read in full...)
Did he return these insignificant things of mine because he is asking for whatever I might have of his back?
Q. I just received a box in the mail from my ex (we broke up almost four months ago now), with some of my things in it. I didn't even know I'd left these things at his place, it's basically junk (a decorative christmas pine cone and a string of chris...
A. 1 June 2016: I think, a you have said he is an honest, upright type, that he found it easier to return by mail than to simply chuck them in the trash.
I wouldn't bother with returning the old towel, if he wanted stuff returned he would have let you know.
... (read in full...)
Why do girls ghost a guy who only treats them like a queen?
Q. Hi all, we'll my question is who an why they ghost us, to me girls if a guy, treats you bad then ghost him, if he hits you ghost him, if he is a drunk, drug addict,ghost him, if he doesn't have time for you, but he does for his friends, ghost ...
A. 1 June 2016: Maybe they don't see "being treated like a queen" the same way you do, maybe it was all a bit too much a bit too soon, maybe these women who ghost found the experience too full on, and the only way to deal with it is too wipe it from their memories ... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend lie to me about spending time with his son? What's going on here?
Q. My boyfriend's son is over on a visit. He has been here for a week. He lives in the Florida and we are in Canada. Now, I am having some trouble figuring something out. Can everyone help me? Before I go insane? My boyfriend was supposed to sp...
A. 1 June 2016: A POSSIBLE SCENARIO
Friend: Hey son of woman's boyfriend, wanna go for coffee?
Son: was planning to spend day with dad
Dad: oh go on son, I can keep busy if you want to spend some time with Friend
Son: You sure dad? Okay friend lets go.
......... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated and I have all the proof but he keeps denying it
Q. This is probably a no brainer but I'm asking anyway, found out my boyfriend has been texting and chatting with his ex, I confronted him and he promised to stop because he didn't want to lose me the problem is he hasn't I checked his phone and have ...
A. 1 June 2016: The priority here is for you to decide what you want, his actions suggest to me he knows you know but doesn't know how you know ..... if you want him to know how you know then send him copies of his texts, before you do that you need to realise that ... (read in full...)
I (F) upset my boyfriend and he's now being so cold with me. What do I do?
Q. I need advice on what to do about my boyfriend. Whenever we have an argument and I am slightly to blame, he gives me the silent treatment the next day and sometimes for a few days. He has mental health problems and I will admit that he is very ...
A. 31 May 2016: Is your boyfriend receiving treatment for his mental health issues because if he is not you are wasting your time being in a relationship and expecting him to act rationally.
... (read in full...)
He still lives with his ex. What can I do. ?
Q. Hi guys thanks for reading, I am open to all the advise you can give me. I have been dating this guy for a few weeks, but I barely get to spend time with him because he has a son. I haven't met his son yet I would like to but not till we are in a...
A. 31 May 2016: The fact he feels his ex might cause problems suggests the marriage is not quite over and he is not free to form a relationship with you.
He is stringing you along.
His son has two parents, why does his having a child mean he cannot see you? ... (read in full...)
I feel as if I am just the girl he made pregnant. Does he really love me? I feel as if I'm second best
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years and together have two babies. We have 2 kids each to previous partners. All up we have 6 kids whom we raise together. He was with his ex for about 5 years. They were not married but were...
A. 26 May 2016: Sweetheart, I feel for you.
You need to decide if you can cope with current situation, possibly for the rest of your life, if changes aren't made.
If you don't like to think of living as you are for ever and ever then you are going to have to... (read in full...)
She is wonderful, fulfills all my needs in life, but I'm not in love with her. Should I reconnect with an ex, instead, despite problems likely to result?
Q. 5 years ago me and my partner that I have children with went through a very rough patch and I ended up cheating on her. Me and her friend ended up falling for each other but in the end I couldn't deal with the guilt and told her what has been go...
A. 26 May 2016: sureee, ignore what you already know about your ex wife (the mother of your children) and how any relationship with the woman you cheated with will affect the relationship you have with your ex wife and children and focus on where you dick will be ... (read in full...)
Uncles who lost your virginity at a later stage, how did you do it? Aunts what will really help me lose my virginity?
Q. How do you shake off being a virgin? While I have kissed a couple girls and have been sexual with some, I feel down on myself for not having had intercourse. I've read articles on this site, other sites about not feeling bad about it but it ...
A. 22 May 2016: You are missing the point, as long as sex is your end goal and you are not interested in meeting girls, having conversations with them, or just socialising or building relationships you are not going to progress very far or fast. The sex act takes ... (read in full...)
Uncles who lost your virginity at a later stage, how did you do it? Aunts what will really help me lose my virginity?
Q. How do you shake off being a virgin? While I have kissed a couple girls and have been sexual with some, I feel down on myself for not having had intercourse. I've read articles on this site, other sites about not feeling bad about it but it ...
A. 22 May 2016: If your goal is to have sex, and sooner rather than later, I suggest you grab a few hundred bucks and go pay for it, as any other "quick fix" will involve illegal action, and you don't really want sex that bad .... do you?
... (read in full...)
Trying to get life back together. Does talk therapy work? Do antiDepressants work?
Q. 28 year old chap here who has lived life going no where for many years . I know what I should do but do not feel happiness is actually achievable for me .. yipee!! Anyway went to the docs at last and they suggested therapy or Anti Depressant's . ...
A. 18 May 2016: I have a son who takes anti depressants, they certainly work for him, they don't deaden his feelings or emotions, but simply help to "even things out" as he puts it.
If therapy is also available I would suggest both, (no therapy out bush where my... (read in full...)
I'm a confused, betrayed and broken mama! Should I try to meet his mistress?
Q. Hi, i just discovered that my husband of 4yrs is having an affair at his office. My instinct told me something wasn't right but i tried to remain positive and trust him,some sent me an anonymous text message which made me connect the dots and ...
A. 18 May 2016: No, nothing will be gained from meeting the woman who is having an affair with your husband, that will only cause you more grief and pain so why go there.
Ask yourself who might have sent the text message and why they might have done that, my... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sent a love and apology letter to his ex while with me!
Q. We have been together 6 years on and off. We were changing the furniture in his room I found a letter he wrote to his ex last year. He broke up with her 6 years ago now, as he moved country. She lives in Italy. I ended up translating it to English ...
A. 18 May 2016: You finding the letter indicates he did not send it. You will often read responses on this site advocating people write stuff down, and then either to burn it, or put it aside until this situation causing concern has lessened or is no longer ... (read in full...)
Is my Bf trying too hard? And is my reaction to my Bf's courtesy unreasonable?
Q. I think there is something wrong with me. my boyfriends ways get on my nerves. the way he has to go out of his way to hold the door open for very one. they don't even have to be close by, they dont even thank him. still he will stand there and ...
A. 16 May 2016: Using your example, next time you are talking to him but he isn't listening due to being focussed on some woman some distance away, who has a non problem, tell him how it makes you feel ... it makes you feel as if YOU are not important, that you are ... (read in full...)
My neighbour feels evil, to me. Is it possible that she is or has done something to discourage the sale of our home?
Q. A few years ago, a woman living across the house from us became infatuated with my husband and some very strange things started happening in our lives. She even put something in my drink to make me very sick. We always felt like this woman's aura...
A. 15 May 2016: I agree with the anonymous male whose answer is below .... see if you can find a couple who your neighbour wont recognise and get them to play the part of interested viewers, and just to cover all bases don't let the agent know they are fake ... (read in full...)
I should go at all?
Q. So I really liked this guy, who at first liked me too, but who now has feelings for my best friend instead. My best friend isn't into him in that way because she has someone she already really likes but on my end it still kind of hurts and is weird...
A. 11 May 2016: Don't go. Just tell your friend, because she is the one who invited you along to be third wheel, tell her thanks but no thanks.
If she doesn't want to go alone, that's her problem, and she needs to politely decline the invitation to the guy that... (read in full...)
How will I handle these delicate decisions about inviting and seating guests at our wedding?
Q. I just got engaged yesterday. We had talked about it for a while before hand so I knew it was going to happen... I just didn't know when! Anyhow my fiance and I had just booked a months holiday to California so we were going to secretly elope in ...
A. 10 May 2016: You invite the partners, and I assume you will be seating people at round tables of .... say 10? Mum and new partner, Dad and new partner, grooms mum and dad, 1 set of grandparents both sides, and they all act like adults. If no grandparents then ... (read in full...)
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