Why is he paying child support to his ex if their laszy 17 year old daughter is living with us?
Q. I'm back again for more advice. A little update on my last situation because this kind of involved it. I am still with my fiance, although the wedding date is no longer may 2017. I felt like we have issues that need worked out before that happens. A ...
A. 1 November 2016: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-talk-to-him-about-these.html
According to your previous question about this situation, your boyfriend WAS bullying your sons AFTER he moved in, so I think you have forgotten that issue wasn't sorted w... (read in full...)
High heels during sex...yay or nay?
Q. This question is for you women out there. I really want to know if high heels are a sexual turn on for you girls or not? I love them and I want my wife to wear them every time during sex. But she doesn't!! It's the single most sexual turn on for me. ...
A. 1 November 2016: Why don't you put the high heels on and see how sexy you feel. If your wife doesn't want to wear high heels, then guess what, she doesn't want to wear high heels and you just have to suck it up.
... (read in full...)
I may have lost the love of my life and perfect girl to commitment phobia! Now that I want her back, she's completely blanked me out!
Q. I think Ive ruined things with the love of my life Ive been with my girl 8 years since school she's absolutely stunning that's why I fancied her initially I just wanted to have sex with her but we were 16 she ended up making me wait 8 months a...
A. 1 November 2016: Actually, what happened was that you listened to your mates instead of your girlfriend, or even your mother.
You are not mature enough for a committed relationship.
I suggest you go back to those mates whose advise you listened to and ... (read in full...)
Future mother in law seems to have won and talked my fiance into putting off our wedding. I'm pregnant and not happy!
Q. I posted just over a week ago about bringing my wedding forward as I've not long found out I'm pregnant and didn't want to be a due date bride! But was having issues with my mother in law saying she couldn't get the time off work and generally ...
A. 31 October 2016: Lots of good advise here, personally I believe you should think long and hard about marrying this person at all, and I agree (TOTALLY) with Honeypie, if you are not good enough to marry and have his name then YOUR child will carry your last name ... (read in full...)
My mother is draining the life out of me
Q. I can not handle my mother anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't even know where to start to explain the situation. I'll start with what happened most recently. I was supposed to come down this weekend to help her pack and clean her apartm...
A. 30 October 2016: you received excellent advise last time you wrote to Dear Cupid:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-best-to-help-stubborn-mother-out-of.html
Stick to your guns, go and help her pack, if she fiddles around so that it will be impossible for the ... (read in full...)
Can't shake feeling that ex will come back
Q. My ex and I had a LDR for 1 month shy of 2 years. During the relationship there were many fights, and we'd often break up and reconcile constantly - sometimes multiple times a month. I'm very aware that a bulk of our problems came from me lying to ...
A. 30 October 2016: Move on and plan your future without him .... if you start building a life where you are self sufficient, taking care of all your needs, emotional, spiritual and physical and he comes back he will be the cherry on the cake rather than the cake ... (read in full...)
I'm on vacation with girlfriend but found out she wants to break up with me. What do I do now?
Q. Ok so I'm on holiday in Tenerife with my girlfriend of 4 months and I have just found out she wants to end it with me either during or after the holiday. I've read messages between her and her mum who is encouraging her to "get shot as I'm not good ...
A. 30 October 2016: how horrible for you.
If you cant get an early flight home its going to be very awkward. if you have some spare cash you could look for alternate accommodation, unless you totally paid in which case she can find somewhere else or she can sleep on... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to get my tubes tied and burnt not knowing what my future holds?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am 45 years old my clock is ticking fast I have been in a relationship in many years I don't have health issues very healthy but I want my tubes tied but the the doctor says no I might meet a man who want a child but I don't want No ...
A. 26 October 2016: I agree with the others, find a new doctor, your current doctor doesn't respect you, or your decisions, if he/she isn't basing their advise on what you are saying..
... (read in full...)
My beloved Bf is returning to the other side of the world. How do I cope with losing him?
Q. I met this guy a year ago, we started dating and have been together for about a year now - I've never been so happy in my life, he completes me and is perfect. But, he's moving back home to the other side of the world - he came over here to travel ...
A. 23 October 2016: This might sound like a Disney movie but if his love for you is as strong as your love, apparently, is for him, then love would find a way. If he has been in the US for travel reasons then it would appear he is from a country where travel to the US ... (read in full...)
How do I get my company to take off?
Q. I started a recruitment business in 2015. Everything got officially sorted in September 2016. I currently work part time in a job I hate and as much as I'm trying my hardest to get clients it just seems to be going so slow I keep having good day...
A. 21 October 2016: Are you recruiting for all industries or more of a niche market?
I've just spent three very tiring weeks with a women who is building her own business, she is ALWAYS at work, even when being casual she makes sure she is wearing clothes she wont... (read in full...)
Should I distance myself from my Bf AND my Mother? Was this abusive behaviour by my boyfriend, or not?.
Q. Was this abusive behaviour by my boyfriend, or not?. I have had an on/off relationship with my boyfriend for a year. Yesterday, I was out with him and I called my mum to pick me up. I got upset because my mum started shouting at me on the phone. ...
A. 21 October 2016: Where was your current boyfriend in August when you were having trouble with an ex boyfriend? Why wasn't your current boyfriend able to help paint your place?
You need to think long and hard about the sort of men you are inviting into your lif... (read in full...)
Should I distance myself from my Bf AND my Mother? Was this abusive behaviour by my boyfriend, or not?.
Q. Was this abusive behaviour by my boyfriend, or not?. I have had an on/off relationship with my boyfriend for a year. Yesterday, I was out with him and I called my mum to pick me up. I got upset because my mum started shouting at me on the phone. ...
A. 20 October 2016: Is the ex boyfriend in this question the same man, or a different one?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-my-ex-boyfriend-taking-advantage.html
You need to think carefully about the sorts of men you are choosing to have a relationship wit... (read in full...)
Should I distance myself from my Bf AND my Mother? Was this abusive behaviour by my boyfriend, or not?.
Q. Was this abusive behaviour by my boyfriend, or not?. I have had an on/off relationship with my boyfriend for a year. Yesterday, I was out with him and I called my mum to pick me up. I got upset because my mum started shouting at me on the phone. ...
A. 19 October 2016: You are a woman in her thirties, and yet, when you were out with your boyfriend you rang your mother to come pick you up....
doesn't your mum have a life of her own, do you think she sits by the phone everytime you go out with your on off boyfrien... (read in full...)
I've never been catcalled and don't know how to feel about this!
Q. Hello, I am a cute (ish) woman of 29, and I have an awesome boyfriend loving and sexy and caring etc etc. I'm not unattractive, I promise. I'd give myself a solid 7.5 out of 10. Not overweight or acne scarred, and described by friends as petite w...
A. 15 October 2016: Its great to hear that in some parts of the world things are changing and cat calling is not as prevalent as it used to be.
Catcalling is not a compliment, nor is complimenting women and girls the intention of the men who do it. When some guy... (read in full...)
Am I being unfair, insensitive or inconsiderate of my MIL?
Q. I’m at my wits end with my MIL... if it wasn’t bad enough when my partner raced down 107kms to take his mother to the hairdressers when no-one else was available for free, this next exploit beats all. Earlier this year my MIL made flight ...
A. 14 October 2016: My previous answer seems to have got lost, however here are my thoughts again,
I live in Australia, remote, rural, which means although the region is reasonably populated, on a major highway, some services are not available ..... 4 hour drive to t... (read in full...)
Depression, drinking and having to go on holiday abroad
Q. I live with my parents, and i'm currently on medication for depression. when my parents have had holidays, ive been able to look after myself and have behaved. I'm seeing a pyschlogist at the moment who is helping me through my troubles. I asked he...
A. 14 October 2016: The only way to convince people you are trustworthy is to behave in a trustworthy manner.
Your "little blip" shows you cannot be trusted to follow medical advise.
Go on the holiday with your parents, and use the time to consider what yo... (read in full...)
Depression, drinking and having to go on holiday abroad
Q. I live with my parents, and i'm currently on medication for depression. when my parents have had holidays, ive been able to look after myself and have behaved. I'm seeing a pyschlogist at the moment who is helping me through my troubles. I asked he...
A. 13 October 2016: Mixing medication and alcohol is an irresponsible act, especially when you have professional advice on your limit and you exceed that by more than double.
You live with your parents, and in return they live with your mental illness, and any "lit... (read in full...)
Should I send my ex boyfriend a Christmas card with a small gift?
Q. I have been single for about 4 months now after coming out of a 3 year relationship, I have recently been thinking of him again the relationship ended on bad terms. Its coming up to christmas and it will be weird without him should i send him a ...
A. 11 October 2016: ask yourself the questions, the first question would be "why am I considering this?"
Be honest with yourself because quite frankly "to be kind" doesn't quite cut it!
What do you think his reaction to receiving a gift would be and what are you... (read in full...)
How do I win over macho' man?
Q. What is easiest way to turn my macho' husband into a total sissy who obeys my every command? ...
A. 6 October 2016: You married a "macho" man, if that wasn't what you wanted for a husband why did you marry him?
You cant force people to change, if you are not happy then divorce him and try again ......... good luck with that1... (read in full...)
Trust and cheating. How can I win back my partner's love and trust after all the has happened over the years ?
Q. I've been with my partner for over 20 years and I very much love him with all my heart. Yet I found myself at 43 entering into an affair with a younger guy. Didn't take me long to realize this was a big mistake and I returned to my husband, con...
A. 3 September 2016: You cheated on your husband .......... TWICE!
People don't just accidentally, somehow, kinda sorta fall into affairs, or just happen to get a bit mixed up one day, moving the boyfriend in and the husband out when what you really meant to do was b... (read in full...)
My friend is taking up too much of my time. How do I tell her in a friendly way?
Q. Hey , my propblem is about my friend . i work from home and have a child so tend to be busy but have more free time than someone going out to their work place , my friend doesnt work due to disabilities so has a lot of free time . She constantly ...
A. 31 August 2016: sorry about the typos, I need a new keyboard
... (read in full...)
Our therapy dogs don't get along and my boyfriend has issued me an ultimatum. What can I do?
Q. I have PTSD and anxiety due to sex abuse. It started happening when I was in preschool. My boyfriend has Anxiety and PTSD bc of prison bc he used to be an armed robber and he accidentally murdered his ex. He became a dog handler in prison. He has ...
A. 31 August 2016: You need your therapy dog and if the place you live in is yours then he needs to leave.
If he wants to make ultimatums he needs to stand by your decision. He sounds like the kind of man I would choose a dog over any day.
If you don't want t... (read in full...)
My friend is taking up too much of my time. How do I tell her in a friendly way?
Q. Hey , my propblem is about my friend . i work from home and have a child so tend to be busy but have more free time than someone going out to their work place , my friend doesnt work due to disabilities so has a lot of free time . She constantly ...
A. 31 August 2016: June, you know I work from right, I do data entry and get paid for what I do. Well lately I've been slacking off and not getting as much and my boss is unhappy/I'm losing money. I am trying to organise myself and so wont be taking any calls or ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has time for his family and friends, but not for me and our daughter. How do I stop feeling like a single parent in this relationship?
Q. Hiya everyone I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. He is 29 I am 30 the problem is he never spends any time with me. We live together and have a 1 yr old daughter but everytime we plan [something] he can never be bothered going or his ...
A. 29 August 2016: Guess what, if he wont change then you have to. If he is incapable of maintaining the change required to be an effective partner and parent then you would be better off as a single parent.
We have had a few questions from young mums in the same... (read in full...)
Is my fiancee is ruining my chances of having a family?
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for three years and engaged for one year. We live an hour and a half drive away so I commute to see him every weekend. My problem is I am tired of waiting for him to set a wedding date. I am going to be...
A. 28 August 2016: Why doesn't he commute to see you alternate weekends? Seems to me you are putting in a lot of effort and he cant even give you an approximate date for when you two will be together.
Next time you are together sit down and have the talk, work out... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is insisting I sell my house
Q. I'm a women in her late 40's and my boyfriend of 5 years is in his mid 50's. Both of us have been married 2x's and we both have children in teen's and early 20's. I own my home and he lives in a family member's extra home in a different city. He ...
A. 28 August 2016: I am happy to read your followup, I would have expected him to be more understanding about you owning your home after your previous experience, and not to be accusing you of hanging on to the past, when what you are doing is learning from past ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is insisting I sell my house
Q. I'm a women in her late 40's and my boyfriend of 5 years is in his mid 50's. Both of us have been married 2x's and we both have children in teen's and early 20's. I own my home and he lives in a family member's extra home in a different city. He ...
A. 27 August 2016: Your boyfriend is being irrational... what's the difference between staying at your house during the week while your children sill live there and staying at your house during the week when they don't?
Having experienced a bad marriage and raising ... (read in full...)
Is it still my fault that she ghosted me for being a nice guy?
Q. So some time ago, around eight months ago, i was ghosted by a woman i treated with kindest, but a lot of you put me down saying i deserved what i got, so i found out some things about her i didn't know about. One thing she told me she has only bee...
A. 27 August 2016: In December you said you would not be writing in about this again
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ladies-if-a-man-sprinkled-rose-petals-at.html
Have you taken ANYTHING that has been written in response to your posts onboard?
Have... (read in full...)
Is it still my fault that she ghosted me for being a nice guy?
Q. So some time ago, around eight months ago, i was ghosted by a woman i treated with kindest, but a lot of you put me down saying i deserved what i got, so i found out some things about her i didn't know about. One thing she told me she has only bee...
A. 26 August 2016: You are playing the blame game, the problem is the more often you play the blame game, the more you lose.
Learning to recognise your own role in a bad situation will help you grow from your experiences, and ultimately help you achieve more ful... (read in full...)
Is my ex boyfriend taking advantage?
Q. Am I being taken advantage of?. My ex boyfriend started doing some painting in my apartment. He has done two days work so far. He doesn't decorate for a living. He just said he would help. He got in touch with me on facebook, after not contacting me ...
A. 24 August 2016: I'm not sure how you feel your ex boyfriend is taking advantage. He might think you are taking advantage having him decorate your place without paying for it; are you at least covering the cost of paint and brushes, rollers etc.
I also feel the... (read in full...)
My husband's old friend keeps visiting!
Q. So me and my husband have been married almost a year now ,ever since we got together we have done everything together .we moved to where he is from .we lived here for about three weeks before .his old friend showed up and then after that it was ...
A. 24 August 2016: Tell your husband you need to talk to him, sit him somewhere neutral, at the kitchen is good, make sure there is no TV or radio to distract him...
Say his name "Ken, your friend being here every day is making me feel there are three people i... (read in full...)
I'm still blocked, does he still hate me?
Q. Hi - I had a bad fall out with a guy who I discovered was two timing me. He got annoyed because I found out a lot of things about him and made sure people knew about it and so understandably he blocked me! Two years later - I have moved on...
A. 24 August 2016: Its possible that once he blocked you on social media he never gave you another thought, and so never bothered to unblock .... I've got people on my block list who can just stay there, I had reason to block them and no good reason has presented ... (read in full...)
My lover is sad about leaving. It's due to a job change. How can I give him support?
Q. My lover's leaving to a diff state for a new job. We will still be friends but when we said bye he said he doesnt want me to miss him ..then he said he will miss me a lot and that weve gotten so close but hes leaving. We held each other for long...
A. 24 August 2016: How can you make it easier for him to go? That really is up to him, he's made the decision and he has to deal with it.
He is in control here, so what is HE doing to support you through this transition?... (read in full...)
Sure ''anything'' could happen. But is he being genuine ? Are his words genuine? Or is he giving me false hope?
Q. My ex and I broke up a few months ago when he told me he didnt know if he loved me anymore. Things are amicable so we're remaining friends. However, whenever i bring up my feelings for him and the relationship, he tells me "anything can ha...
A. 15 August 2016: He is leading you on, he is keeping you on the back burner just in case being single doesn't work out.
I suggest taking back some control here, because he says he doesn't want a relationship but continues to give you hope by flirting and acting j... (read in full...)
How can I combat these rumours?
Q. Recently a male friend of mine became my worst enemy when I turned down his proposal. Now he is spreading false rumours of the kind that I was in love with him. What shall I do?...
A. 15 August 2016: People must be repeating the rumour for you to know about them, so there are several ways you could address this:
Ask your father or another male relative to tell him to stop
When people repeat the rumour to you, you could try saying "phht, he... (read in full...)
Why do people cheat? It seems to lead to so much hurt
Q. Why do people cheat? I am a single Mother and I think I will stay single as why would I open myself up to be hurt? I only need to read posts on here to see it goes on every where, affairs, cheating hurting their partners. Why? Stay with someone and ...
A. 15 August 2016: The people who write into Dear Cupid are just a drop in the ocean, there are thousands upon millions of people who are in loving, monogamous relationships, who are happy and content with their lives. We only hear from the very few who have ... (read in full...)
Why do people cheat? It seems to lead to so much hurt
Q. Why do people cheat? I am a single Mother and I think I will stay single as why would I open myself up to be hurt? I only need to read posts on here to see it goes on every where, affairs, cheating hurting their partners. Why? Stay with someone and ...
A. 15 August 2016: The people who write into Dear Cupid are just a drop in the ocean, there are thousands upon millions of people who are in loving, monogamous relationships, who are happy and content with their lives. We only hear from the very few who have ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't help with our daughter in any way and I feel like a single parent
Q. Hiya everyone I have 2 children a boy and a girl my son doesn't see his father as he didn't want him I met a man 4 years ago and we have a little girl who is now 20 month we live together the problem is he will not do anything to help me with our ...
A. 14 August 2016: Tell him straight up what you want from him, it would be nice to think that it might change when she gets older, but my experience is that a new born baby's disengaged father will grow into a disengaged toddler's father, and so on until you have a ... (read in full...)
Will quitting my retail job after 11 months look really bad?
Q. Hi there, I am 22 years old. From 17 to 21 i worked at the body shop as a sales consultant however was made redundant there as i could not do the hours they wanted me too as I had stressful universtiy work. Anyway, I moved to Manchester last ...
A. 14 August 2016: If a prospective employer asks why you quit after 11 months you tell them the truth, there were a number of reasons, you completed your masters and to celebrate your partner's parents invited you to visit Germany, however you were only eligible for ... (read in full...)
Married but cheating on my husband with two other men. Exciting for me but it's becoming too much. What are my options?
Q. I'm a married female,no kids, who has been cheating on my husband with a single man for almost two years now... A couple months ago when I arrived at my guys apartment,another man was there with him, who he said was one of his friends from way back...
A. 14 August 2016: I think it is pretty obvious to most people that the best course of action would be for you to stop, but if you cant then you can't.
So what you do is accept that your behaviour is somewhat outside the norm for a woman who is married, and would be... (read in full...)
How do I behave to the one I want?
Q. Well it hasn't worked being open an honest in my relationships. I tell people to act like you don't care, don't call them or text; let them do it. Act like you always got things to do if they say they missed you, don't say it back. I know its ...
A. 11 August 2016: You ask, "how do I behave with the one I want"?
You should behave with the one you want the same way we hope other people will behave with us, respectfully and honestly. If people, and not just potential partners, don't treat us respectf... (read in full...)
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