A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,I have been with this man a total of 7 years married for 3 and he unfortunately feel in a web web of lies with one of his friends from another country.. And he sent her inappropriate messages and a video of him self " releaving " himself. And now this friend is constantly threatening him with posting those pix and video on social media if he doesn't call her and respond to her messages. He does admit to his mistake and that he fell into this web of lies, but this girl keeps calling him and he keeps on responding to her calls afraid of what she might do with what she has. I don't know what to think of even what to do.. We have a 3 1/2 year old together and I don't know what to do .. I don't want to let go on someone that I love so much.. I just need some advice... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 July 2016):
 Sweetie he did not fall for a web off lies, he went online and CHEATED on you. He done that and now he is paying the price, if you want to work on this relationship, ask him to delete all social media, cut contact, stay away from the computer and show you how much he is sorry. Make him work hard for your forgiveness.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 July 2016):
 I think he should :
1. change his passwords (never know if he was dumb enough to share them with her)
2. BLOCK her.
3. IF she posts ANYTHING with his face in it without his consent, he can seek legal advice, but should start with FB and they will take it down.
YOU should... divorce his cheating lying ass.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2016): Firstly,no web of lies makes anyone get naked without their consent and intent. And your husband is married! Next, have you even seen these so-called threats made by the other woman? Your husband has lied and cheated, there is no credibility to his claims of blackmail unless you've seen something yourself. Otherwise, he is continuing to cheat under the guise of being "forced to" which seems awfully convenient.Lastly, are you sure there are only videos? Has this woman traveled,met your husband? It seems like there may be more below the surface. If someone is comfy sending naked videos to a person in another country,they have to know the possibility of these videos being misused. This level of fear he has suggests there is more to it. She is threatening to expose him only if he doesn't keep contact: this suggests she has some expectations of him and what exactly led to these and the emotional connection? I mean she is not blackmailing him for money or anything.I would say you make sure he calls her on this; if she wants to keep contact,this is the only thing she has and she will "lose" so to speak if everything is posted online. I don't think this is her intent but you need to be wary of your cheating hubby's motives and behavior...this may be the first of many such "web of lies" unraveling. Wise up
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 July 2016):
 I'm not sure what web of lies he fell into that forced him to masturbate live on camera with some woman overseas.
Has your cheating husband explained what lies were told, or how he come to fall into their web? It just doesn't make sense to me.
Just how many dick pics and masturbating videos did he send her? It sounds like it was more than a few ....
Your husband is a cheater, and either gutless or a liar. Miss Frank gives some excellent advise about closing down social media and blocking this woman, to make it more difficult for her to send the pics and videos, but so what if she does, a few weeks of embarrassment and MOST people would forget about it after a short time.
If he doesn't stop responding, or if he tells you he has but hasn't I would seriously think about if this is the sort of marriage for you, or if you would be better off single than with a man who has such little respect for your marriage and family.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (17 July 2016):
 well if this aint a swift dose of karma I don't know what is BUT what this woman is doing, I would think, constitutes "porn revenge" and thats illegal and so is blackmail. Personally I think your hubby should be taking what evidence of her threats to the police or civil rights lawyer for some advice. See how she responds to the possibility of jail time should she follow through. Your hubby is a dumb arse but to act like this,she, is a mental bunny boiler. Id only be giving him this info for the sake of protecting you and your daughters dignity, no more no less. This is a mess created by him and he needs to be the one cleaning it up
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2016): I think he should call her bluff and dare her to publish the pix.Anyway the only person that matter here is you and since you are prepared to forgive him I can't see how she can make any damage, knowing that men only look at pix of women.So the chances of any of his friends seeing the pix is very slim.
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A
female
reader, miss frank  +, writes (17 July 2016):
Firstly I would like to make an important point here to you, as the victim of his behaviour and the victim of his cheating. People don't fall into webs of lies such as you describe here. He is married to you, and he chose to interact with another woman intimately, including sending a sex video. These aren't webs of lies, he was unfaithful to you and now has consequences to this.
Secondly to the actual video. I believe the only thing you can do is let her get on with it. Do some prep first- get him to close down his social media accounts, hide his friends list in the meantime and yours too. Block her from everything etc but of course be aware that she can easily create another account, hence the get rid of all social media accounts etc This is to stop her from targeting his and your friends to send this to.
Other than that there are thousands of such videos all over the net, of you take as much precaution around ensuring she cant send it to people or places associated with him as you can you can do no more.
As his wife its up to you if you can forgive this, but are you confident this is a one off? And he hasn't gotten himself into this situation and that's why you've heard about it rather than hes come and told you voluntarily?
Honestly, his choices and the kick he got from them- that needs looking at in regard to how he behaves
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2016): let him face the consequences. He started this fiasco by cheating and interacting with this female. He was unwise. He can cut all contact. If she decides to post his picture then his picture will be added to the billions of other such pictures on line.
But by continuing contact he is cheating.
organize some marriage counselling.
Get some real candid responses from him.
Is this the first instance of cheating?
His actions devalue his relationship with you.
Never mind that he claims he has to respond to her.
No!
He has to stop cheating or lose you.
He has to face the consequences of his unwise actions.
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