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... Send *ugarplum786 a private message | | | *ugarplum786's profile:I am no expert but my experience it life allows me help people and also I really love helping people. I live in South Africa, I think the media makes it out to be worst that what it is and I am loyal to my country. I am qualified professional and enjoy the business world, might add still very male dominant.
I am married to a fantastic guy and have two lovely kids. I thnk life is close to perfect and thank God for it. But it was not always perfect as life throws you all kinds of curve balls and one needs to just learn to deal with it and help you grow stronger. |
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My boyfriend is going to spend Mother's Day with his ex and his daughter
Q. My boyfriend has a daughter with his ex, and usually he got to see his daughter after he finished class like around 9pm. Recently his ex decided that 9pm is too late to come see her (even though on the days she works, she's ok with him watching her ...
A. 10 May 2013: Hi, I really dont blame u, it looks like the ex is using the child as a means to spend more time with your BF and sounds to me its working as your BF is desperate to see his child. Which you can hardly blame him.
As much as you hate it you need... (read in full...)
Her reply to my declaration of feelings for her was "what the hell are you talking?" I'm so hurt, help!
Q. Hi frndzz, i love my cousin a lot. We used to chat to each other at gmail. I have strong feelings for her. I expressed my feelings to her through gmail but she ignored my feelings and replied:'' what the hell are you talking?''. And i have been ...
A. 9 May 2013: You can and will learn with time to move on. For now its in your best interest not to contact her or you would seem desperate.
Let it go. You cannot make someone love u. Open yourself to someone else see other girls, just go out with guys and have... (read in full...)
I'm confused if I ever liked this girl I met thru a friend or was I just using her as a shrink?
Q. Hi, I'm 27,I was in a live-in relationship with a girl for over 3 years,my family knew about it and everyone welcomed her with open arms!I belong to a very priveldged family and with god's grace we have more that what we asked for! I loved this gir...
A. 9 May 2013: You are still healing and cannot force yourself to feel something ou dont. Try a couple meetings and if there is still no chemistry, set her free.... (read in full...)
I need to leave my sociopath girlfriend
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship with a woman whom I believe is a sociopath; I have been with her for over 7 years now. Here is the background of the situation, I met her when I returned from another state where another relationship had failed and began...
A. 9 May 2013: Hi, Its simple, start the process of getting your son a new school and also help him start being friends from the new school. I am sure parents with similar kids would be willing to help if you approached the school principal.
Also work towards ... (read in full...)
Its been a year since our break up and I'm tired of missing her!
Q. Hi, it's been almost a year an am still thinking about her all the time, am the one all my friends ask advise, about their relationships, I can help them but not myself, songs remind me of her, an now seeing women in spring dresses, couples holding ...
A. 9 May 2013: Hi, you are trying too hard. Let the houghts come. BUt dont let it stay too long. Keep busy and if the person you are with is not doing it for you, then you need some new excitement.
Dont force yourself to be with someone for the sake of it, your... (read in full...)
Is there hope that my love of a lifetime loves me back?
Q. You allude to My heart is absolutely broken and I don't know words to describe my pain. I've become depressed about this situation with a friend, and so afraid that it's hopeless. A couple things going on. I love my friend in a way that I'v...
A. 7 May 2013: Hi, give him space, a divorce is not easy no matter who is doing the divorcing as its a life shared with a person and you just dont forget that is ever happened.
He needs to figure it out for him self what he wants. Sometimes the absence of someo... (read in full...)
A nasty fight gave me 30 stitches but now boyfriend is kind to me. Should I leave him?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years and I got into a nasty fight while we were drinking. I slapped at him and turned to run and then he pushed my face into a wall and split it wide open. I will have a permanent scar as it took 30 stitches to help me heal. My ...
A. 7 May 2013: Hi,
Get him to pay for plastic surgery as he did leave you with scar, hopefully after that you can think more clearly.
If he really regrets what he did he will pay for it.... (read in full...)
I can hardly respect him anymore for what he did. Yet my family love him. How can handle this situation without breaking up?
Q. Well, I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we are both 23. I love him so much before. He treated me like a princess I guess. But then its just my thought, not reality. He flirted with some girls and got treatment with his friends, I mean he ...
A. 7 May 2013: Hi
You came here to ask for advise but tell use not to advise you to leave him?
I dont think the problem is just the oral sex. You are actually exbarrased about him being an insurance agent.
You need to decide what is more important to you... (read in full...)
Why did he just up and leave me and his kids?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, we have two kids. A one and two year old. Just the other day. i was out, and he just up and left without notice. Got a email that he has gone crazy so he is away for a while, but I know that was a lie being ...
A. 25 April 2013: Hi, dont let this bring you down. Just remember he was a coward to up and leave with no explanation. He did not even consider the fact that his kids will feel abandoned. You need to be strong for yourself and the kids. If you try and analyse why and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to experiment with a woman?
Q. I've been in a relationship for seven months and it's been great for the most part. He recently told me that he thinks every woman should have a sexual experience with another woman, especially if they're in college like myself. He doesn't want to ...
A. 25 April 2013: Hi, Its simple dont do anything that dont make you feel comfortable. I for one cannot understand how someone who loves you would want to share you with another man or woman.
Sound like your BF is not just satisified with you and wants to experime... (read in full...)
Threesome after marriage? I've been faithful in my marriage but often get the urge to revisit my sexually adventurous past!
Q. Hi Cupid, Am 29 and am married for 5 years...I should say that I have have an amazing love life so far and even before marriage I was very active. I happened to be touch too adventurous for an Indian woman and experinced many a things which wou...
A. 24 April 2013: Hi, you can go ahead and do what you like but be prepared to lose your husband, indians are still relatively conservative and this may not sit well with your husband. Also remember if you introduce your husband to other woman, then also be prepared ... (read in full...)
My ex left me because he got his ex pregnant. How do I move on?
Q. My now ex left me because he found out his ex girlfriend was having his baby. They had parted on bad terms and he told me that he didn't want to get back together with her because he didn't trust her, but he still left me, and I guess that they are ...
A. 23 April 2013: Hi, you got a raw deal, but we do heal. It takes time, some take longer than others. To avoid turning bitter, let it go and appreciate the love and time you guys shared, it was special, but sometimes people just come into our life for a short space, ... (read in full...)
BF cheated, took him back but cant get over it?
Q. I've been in a relationship with the love of my life, but with every relationship there is a problem, he kept me a secret for 3 years and always had time for his ex he would never contact me when she was around and told me that she was just really ...
A. 18 April 2013: Why on earth would you take him back. You were for three years the other woman/mistress. He went as far as even had a child with her and continued o disregard your pain for the three years. I get it you love him and it hurts like hell, but can yo... (read in full...)
He still thinks I'm a virgin, but I had a horrible experience losing it?
Q. So this guy and I were dating and then he just fell off the face of the earth for a month. He was just so busy etc. So I moved on and met someone new. I met this great guy in the beginning of the month. Things were perfect. So one night this guy and ...
A. 18 April 2013: Hi, If you want this relationship, I recommend you tell him the truth. He would be an idiot to hold it against you as you were single and free to date other guys.
If anything, had he treated you better and not broken off with you , he probably... (read in full...)
My Bf is getting angry unneccessarly and calling me names. What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid Today is my bf birthday. I called him several times from the morning to wish him, he didn't pick up the call and not responding to text. He is in his parents house now. I know he is not sick nor busy, got the information from c...
A. 18 April 2013: Hi, Dont call him again, everytime you call and he ignores you, I am sure you feel worst.
Honey its time to let go this relationship and find someone that can truely love you and look fwd to your calls. Its just going to continue to hurt if you d... (read in full...)
He tells me he doesn't want to be in a relationship, but ...
Q. I had sex wih my friends brother. I have known him over 10 years. At the beginning there was some kind of attraction between us, but my friend, his sister didn't want us to get together. So I remained friends with her brother for 10 years. My ...
A. 18 April 2013: Hi
I think you need to honest and tell him how you feel. He needs to know you have feelings invested and if he cant offer you more its in your interest that you seize all contact with him.
I would risk it all to find out now as the longer you l... (read in full...)
Uncomfortable that my GF is going to see her ex abroad. Can I trust her?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend about 4 months. She asked me the other day about my ex's and I told her what she's asked and was honest. So I asked her about hers. She told me that she still talks to one of her ex's. No problem there, so do I. She t...
A. 15 April 2013: Hi, Maybe its best she meets and if she has any unresolved feelings she figure it out now. It would be worst after a long courting with you she decides she is not over the ex.
Its not ideal for you and its also not fair, but it also depends ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and need to get married quickly! How can I tell my Muslim family?
Q. Hi everyone, I have been with my bf for 4 years and now and I'm pregnant and we are planning to get married asap but my family don't know abut my pregnancy and they keep on delaying everything. I come from a muslim background and my bf has conver...
A. 15 April 2013: Hi, why dont you just have a small private ceremony and announce to your family you are married. It would be less embarassing for them than to say their daughter is pregnant outside marriage.
Also you can then have a huge reception. All you need... (read in full...)
Do I tell him that I was intimate with another guy?
Q. I don't know where to start with but... I after finishing 12th always wanted to have a loving and caring boyfriend...when I entered B.tech i stayed at the hostel where i found that almost every girl is committed to someone...I too wanted to have a r...
A. 15 April 2013: You realy need to take a break for these guys and figure out what you want.
You cannot be moving from one guy to the next just because its covenient, you will also end up with a bad reputation.
If you have not had sex with any of the guys, the... (read in full...)
Married man let himself get close to me and now he is ignoring me.
Q. Hi all. Me and this married guy are "friends". We used to talk together a lot privately after work. He would stay back making extra time for me. He would always hold my eye contact for a long time whenever we saw each other. I caught him looki...
A. 15 April 2013: Even if he is interested in you, it will come to nothing as long as he is a married man.
Your ego is hurt, dont pursue him or a a relationship, you will end up feeling worst than you currently do as statistic have shown very few married men leav... (read in full...)
GF went back to her EX, I made my one night stand pregnant, GF came back and then left when she heard about the pregnancy?
Q. My ex and I broke up about 6 months ago, which she went back to her ex (whom is the father of her child). I was assured it was over, and I begged her to come back. She suddenly comes back with a paper showing a divorce, and wanting to start...
A. 12 April 2013: Your GF has no grounds to complain as she walked away from you and she must understand life goes on. When she came back, she should be prepared to accept you were with other woman. Its probably best this is over as you will never know if your GF ... (read in full...)
I've been dating a "seperated" man for 6 years and starting to feel like his mistress
Q. I have been dating a man for over 6 years. I am divorced - he is not although he has been separated for 7 years. My issue is that every Xmas I am by myself for most of the day, while he flys with his ex and their 3 kids to spend Xmas with both her ...
A. 12 April 2013: Hi, you remain the other woman and although they are seperated , where it counts they remain family.
His kids are old enough and its an excuse that he does not want to hurt them. You need to learn that you are worth more than the crumbs that he ... (read in full...)
Who hurts more in a break up?
Q. Who hurts more in the long run? The dumper or dumpee ...
A. 12 April 2013: I think the person who got dumped hurts the most as they were not expecting it and stil believed in teh relationship.
The dumper had enough time to make the decision and when he/she said it was over they had already exited the relation... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's parents think I am not good enough for their son
Q. So this is my deal ..... I dont feel good enuff for my boyfriend and his parents ... cuz I dont act a sertin way or cuz I was brought up differently then them or cuz my kid dosent act the way that they want her to act cuz, im not in school right now ...
A. 12 April 2013: Hi, If its any comfort, there are a very few mums that think any woman is good enough for her son. Also they struggle to let another woman come into their son's life for fear of losing their son.... (read in full...)
Ex still an active roll in my BF life, how do I manage this?
Q. My little girl was on my boyfriends phone playing a game and showed me that someone had text. it was his ex girlfriend but the entire conversation was deleted and it was her replying obviously to something he'd said.Its making me really down in the ...
A. 11 April 2013: Hi, you are unhappy about your BF and his ex relationship, and he choses not care about how you feel, so what I dont understand is why are you still with him.
When you love someone, you avoid causing them pain and avoid things that her them, cl... (read in full...)
GF is cheating and I don't see it?
Q. I have been dating my jealous, possessive, demanding and highly strung girlfriend for just over 2 years. I have constantly tried and failed to meet her demands and expectations. Her jealousy occasionally turns violent and emotional if she ever gets ...
A. 11 April 2013: This relationship has run its course, its when you are going to pack her bag and kick her out. Why do you want to continue to cause yourself heartache? THats all you are getting!... (read in full...)
Wife is building a relationship with the builder while I sit home and give her space!
Q. I am 58 and my wife is 49 and wehave been happily together for 18 years and although the marriage has become a bit mundane I feel there is no excuse for her behaviour. She had been very protective of her phone of late causing me to become very ...
A. 11 April 2013: Hi, you should not be the one begging and following her around like a lost dog. She has disrespected you and her vows and now the space she request is to explore her feelings for this new man.
Dont be a doormat and dont chase a dream that has ende... (read in full...)
How do I confront my cheating Fiance without making her angry because I spyed into her emails?
Q. How do you let your fiance know that you know she is cheating without her getting mad because you have been looking at her email that she keeps leaving open, most recent email to her "friend" "I still want to meet with you. I want to try if you ar...
A. 11 April 2013: Hi, you are too nice. There is no talking and compromise. She has no respect for you or the relationship, kick her sorry ass to the curb. You deserve better and yea loosing someone you love is hard but we live and find much much better people.... (read in full...)
Is it over or am I being led on?
Q. Back at the beginning of february my boyfriend of almost a year broke up with me. He then suggested that we continue for the next two weeks till it was a year. Stupidly I agreed to this even though I knew it would only hurt more, I just would have ...
A. 11 April 2013: Honey you are being played, dump his sorry ass and move on. He is considering other prospects and you are his fall back plan. It hurts like hell but dont let him treat you like yesterdays garbage.... (read in full...)
I cheated- He still wanted us to stay together but he calls me names and says he'll never marry me!
Q. I had cheated on my boyfriend 2 years into our relationship with an ex who I thought I was over with but I wasn't.After cheating I realized that what I had done was wrong in which I had told my boyfriend about it the next day.He was upset but we ...
A. 11 April 2013: Time to move on , this guy has tried but cannot forgive nor forget the pain you caused him, and this is expressed by how he treats you. I think he does love you or he would have dumped you after your indiscretion however he will continue to hear... (read in full...)
Joke on our parents didn't go over too well
Q. Me and a friend of mine have done a very bad thing. Basically my mom and his mom work together and they have wanted us to get together, and we don't want to, which annoys us, but they keep going on about it. One time when he came over for homewor...
A. 11 April 2013: Set things straigt with your mum as she thinks the worst off you and him. It will also put her mind at rest as she might think he used you since yourll are no together. This joke could get out of hand and ruin your mum's friendship with ... (read in full...)
After getting back with the Ex-GF you always had feelings for...
Q. I am getting back with my ex-girlfriend after 2 years of her dating some jerk. It really bothers me, that she broke up with me..and then went out with him. She didn't break up with me because of him, I"m sure of this. Should I bring it up...
A. 11 April 2013: I think this stems from the hurt she caused you when she ended the relationship. The question is not what she saw in the other guy, i swhether you can trust your heart with her. There no guarantees and I have been in your shoes, it did not work ... (read in full...)
I feel like second best to boyfriends' ex-girlfriends...
Q. Okay, I don’t even know where to begin this. I am so confused. I basically feel like second best in my relationship with my boyfriend; he is 26 and I am 22 going on 23. I feel so stupid because I know most of you are going to think that I’m crazy. ...
A. 11 April 2013: Hi, stop obsessing about the exes looks and you should tell the BF when he raves about his ex, well if they were such good catch he would be with then, which means you are a better catch. Say it light hearted so he gets the message and it just might ... (read in full...)
Emmotionally too dependant on an abusive GF, Please help me ?
Q. hi, am 21 yrs old..to start off, i was in a relationship with a girl before and she cheated on me and went with some other guy.. this fact made me emotionally very sensitive and insecure..after six months another girl said she loves me and wanted to ...
A. 11 April 2013: Hi, you need to stop giving your heart so easily. Also dump the girlfriend as she is emotionally abusive and you certainly dont want to spend the rest of your life regretting being with this woman. Also when you meet someone dont pour your heart ... (read in full...)
We agreed at the inception of the relationship, no contact with EX, I find out my GF is lying, but I still want her?
Q. Well i will start with the basics. I am in a long distance with my current girlfriend. We met online(was never intending to date online, but we met and just clicked..and here we are) We are both 23 years old. We have been together for around 6...
A. 11 April 2013: Hi, You say you want to make the relationship work, unfortunately trust is key in any relationship and at this stage your GF cannot be trusted. What has she said or dont to assure you that she is longer in contact with this guy? Is she willing to ... (read in full...)
Is this guy using me to get to know my sister?
Q. How do I know if a guy is using me to get to know my sister? This 'friend' and I never really talk or text, and we've only hung out once. He has the same class as my younger sister, and always teases her. He doesn't really tease me, or talk, or hang ...
A. 10 April 2013: Hi, he is interested in your sister. I am afraid you need to get over this crush or it will ruin your relationship with your sister if they become BF and GF.... (read in full...)
Is 23 years later too late to return to a relationship?
Q. Is it ever okay to return to a relationship -in my case that happened 23 years ago- and try again? "John" and I were going steady (in our relationship) till his band went on the road. Well, true to most musicians...he cheated. I found out and left ...
A. 27 March 2013: Hi go for it, nothing ventured nothing gained. You both are mature and hopefully history will not repeat itself.... (read in full...)
In loved with a guy that is spoken for but unhappy
Q. Hello guys. I've known this fella for 3 years. He's in a very unhappy (unmarried) relationship.Unhappy on BOTH sides. They've been together 10+ years with property, finances and a business in both their names. He has feelings for me and he knows I ...
A. 25 March 2013: Hi, dont waste your time and pine for someone that is taken. If he really wants to leave this woman he would have dont so without you even being in the picture.
Getting your hopes up will only spell disaster because men generally never leave a ... (read in full...)
Why is he being so unkind? How can I get over this? He met to tell me that I'd been 'replaced' by the 'perfect girl'.
Q. I've been with a guy since February 2012. We went to college together but he dropped out as his course was too much for him, he visited me regularly during the college year and over the summer he was the best boyfriend I could have, we were jus...
A. 9 March 2013: Hi let him go as he need to show you more love an drespect. As long as he has best of both worlds you willfeel second best. He feels he is doing nothing wrong as he has told you about this otehr woman. Time to get some pride and tell him you will ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling like I've lost the love of my life after the break up. Is this normal?
Q. So..I'm really sad over my recent break up. He broke up with me and I can honestly say I was in love with him. Towards the end of our relationship I could tell things weren't right so when he finally broke up with me I wasn't surprised. Things just ...
A. 6 March 2013: Hi, I am sorry you are hurting, but you are a lot stronger than most people, you have held onto your pride and not begged him to come back and maintained no contact. These are two positive traits that you are moving in the right direction. I know... (read in full...)
My parents do not want me to see my little sister and she forgot who I was.
Q. I've been around my sister everyday since she was born in 2008, when I was 9. But when my dad came back into my life when I was 13 and got custody of me after 4 months I moved in with him. I visited my sister a couple of times a week and some ...
A. 6 March 2013: Hi Honey, dont stress, you can send her photos and letters and when she is older she will know you cared and tried to keep in touch. Is she your half sister as its odd your dad got custody of you and your mum the baby? Irrespective of th... (read in full...)
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