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... Send *ugarplum786 a private message | | | *ugarplum786's profile:I am no expert but my experience it life allows me help people and also I really love helping people. I live in South Africa, I think the media makes it out to be worst that what it is and I am loyal to my country. I am qualified professional and enjoy the business world, might add still very male dominant.
I am married to a fantastic guy and have two lovely kids. I thnk life is close to perfect and thank God for it. But it was not always perfect as life throws you all kinds of curve balls and one needs to just learn to deal with it and help you grow stronger. |
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Married to a man 20 years older than I
Q. This is a letter I am sending to my husband.. I have no idea how he is going to respond.. So if your a guy.. Please feel free to reply.. That way I can prepare myself.. For whatever transpires. Thanks "Since I spoke to you about us.. You m...
A. 23 January 2013: Hi, I would not send him the letter. It seems the relationship has a number of issues and including the lack of physical interest by your partner.
I am curious , do you think he has someone else? No kisses , no sex, no communication, no interest... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my demanding brothers and step-mom who doesn't seem to care about me?
Q. i feel really bad and unimportant to my stepmom, she's the one i live with my dad and my 2 full blood brothers and i have 2 stepbrothers. i'm the only girl but when it comes to calling each other i take them all as my brothers and treat them all ...
A. 22 January 2013: Honey, it sounds like you are feeling neglected and unappreciated. I suggest if you have good relationship with the step mom, ask her for time and try talking to on a one on one basis. Also ask her if it will be easier if she gives you the money and ... (read in full...)
She made me wait for her for 4 hours then I found out she lied about where she was! Shall I end it now?
Q. My girlfriend of 9 months told me she had to meet up with her girl friends for lunch, I had no objections to this. I was at a hotel when she went to lunch, I checked out of the Hotel at 1:30 pm, she was supposed to meet me around the check out time ...
A. 22 January 2013: Hi, I must admit I would not appreciate my BF making me wait 4 hours in the lobby of a hotal, and then lie about it. It shows total lack of respect. Also what stopped her from calling you/sms etc? What was she really up to or who was more important ... (read in full...)
How to cope when told your husband doesn't love you the same as he used to? A 40 year marriage down the drain?
Q. After almost 40 years of what I thought was a happy marriage my 62 year old husband said he needed space and I spent all my time and energy on the family and looking after the grand children, he felt lonely. We had had our daughter, her husband and ...
A. 22 January 2013: Hi, you have tried the weeping and tried to convince him you can reconcile.
Time to take a hard stand as either way your marriage is at risk.
I recommed the next time you chat dont act desperate, dont cry. Just tell him you agree as yourll ... (read in full...)
The EX factor is over-shadowing our relationship. She'll always be in our lives so how do I cope better with her?
Q. I’m currently in a relationship with the most wonderful guy and have been for 10 months now... Everything is near enough perfect, except one thing, his EX girlfriend. My partner has a daughter of 2 years with his EX girlfriend, and she ...
A. 22 January 2013: Hi She is trying to get under your skin, which I might add is working. Have you not heard the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer.
I recommend that you be extra polite and not hint that she is getting to you. I suggest respond ... (read in full...)
Are these signs that he likes me? What should I do?
Q. It was my birthday yesterday I had a party and uninvited a close boy who is a friend we had a past I used to like him and we had been on a couple of outings together (surfing cinema) and I thought of Him as a close friends and it progressed in to me...
A. 21 January 2013: I agree with the previous response. There is insuffcient information to give yoiu advise.... (read in full...)
How do I get him back? He has ignored me since our breakup
Q. how to get back my guy who has totally ignored me after 7 months of being in a sweet relationship.i fell for him and he knew that.we were so happy together. The problem started between us when he let a female friend to come between us and h...
A. 21 January 2013: Honey, you ned to move on, hounding him with calls and texts is not going to change anything. You need to develop a positive attitide with a positive outlook and start enjoying life. Yes right now it sucks but it gets better with time. You are the ... (read in full...)
How long does it take to get over someone and is it possible to be friends after a relationship?
Q. How long does it take to get over someone and is it possible to be friends after a relationship? I split up from my ex about 7 months ago but we kept in touch via email (he lives abroad). Even though we both knew (and said) we still loved each oth...
A. 20 December 2012: Hi, if you feel this way , you must still be in love with him. Can you not work through this problem and distance and try again. I know he is seeing someone, but if I love someone , I believe they worth fighting for. What do you have to loose. Go ... (read in full...)
Should I be upset about my Christmas present?
Q. Ok... I'm just wanting some opinions. Last year for our first Christmas, my boyfriend bought me some electronics. such as a DVD player and a Nintendo wii. (which was nice of him.) I know it was the thought that counts, I am more of a romantic person ...
A. 20 December 2012: Hi, I agree with Old bag he did get you what you wanted. Also he let your daughter feel important and that her opinion matters.
You should appologise and appreciate the gesture before he thinks you are one of those woman that can never be pleased.... (read in full...)
How can I win him back?
Q. Ok me and my bf were the cutest couple. But one time a got a message from his ex saying I am away on holiday would she like to meet up etc. I was furious. I ended up forgiving him after his begging. We went back to normal. My ex was tryi...
A. 20 December 2012: Hi, he is hurt and scared to trust you. You need to tell him one last time that you love him and want things back you accept you will have to earn his trust. You also believe this relationship is worth fighting. If he agrees great, if he says no - ... (read in full...)
Will my friends ever accept us as a couple and stop the snide remarks?
Q. Just over a year ago I was in an 'open' relationship with my now ex-girlfriend. We both saw whoever we wanted to no questions asked. It worked for about 2 years Last December I started seeing a girl who was a friend of both of ours and our group of...
A. 19 December 2012: Hi, Its out of loyalty to your ex that the frinds dont support you. After all you did leave her for one of your one night stands. Put yourself in the ex shoes, how would you feel, betrayed, let down and hurt.
You will have to give them time as ... (read in full...)
Out of control PMS, I've tried EVERYTHING, please help me!
Q. I'm at my wits end here and really need some advice. I am a 25 year old woman. I'm generally a happy person who enjoys life. But the week (sometimes 2 weeks) before my period I feel as though I go absolutely INSANE! I'm extremely angry, depr...
A. 13 December 2012: Hi, have you tried cutting the carbs. I generally crave carbs before my period and i feel the same way like you. I significantly reduced sugar, fried stuff including potatoes and biscuites and I find a world of difference. If you put on weight ... (read in full...)
Why can't I understand unconditional love?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half years now. It's been long distance the entire time with at least one visit each year. We talk about getting married, having kids, all the commitment stuff. We've had our ups and downs. But it seems like ...
A. 4 December 2012: Hi, stop being hard on yourself, dont over analyze things. Learn to love yourself and enjoy life. Yes the BF listen to everything and is supportive, but if another woman comes along and is more fun and not heavy emmotional - he will think he is ... (read in full...)
Should we stay friends and see where it goes?
Q. My boyfriend and I have recently broke up. This made my world come crashing down because i thought he was giving up on us. He has a drinking problem and is depressed about his past and things that have happended in it.At first when we broke up i was ...
A. 4 December 2012: He has a problem not you, he has broken up with whether of his drinking problem or otherwise. You will not move on if you keep any form of contact. Have your meeting get the closure but also make sure thats the end of a chapter and you move forward. ... (read in full...)
Why does he keep changing his mind?
Q. so my boyfriend of two years broke up with me i was totally wrecked apart i kept texting him and calling him n he said we need time off we cant get back together right now so i stop texting and calling n send him a letter telling him it was fine ...
A. 4 December 2012: You need to let him go and move on as this is a very unhealthy situation for you. If he cant make up his mind, you can decide for yourself whats best, I am guessing in this instance you are better off moving on. You need to go cold turkey. Cease all ... (read in full...)
What kind of Christmas gift should be appropriate for my girlfriend's mom?
Q. my ldr girlfriend offered me to join her and her family for christmas, my question is simple, what kind of gift should be appropiate for her mom ( she has been nice to me, but have only seen her twice ) and for her grandpa ( i havent met him yet, ...
A. 4 December 2012: Hi, you could also get her depending on your budget a branded (Guess.Jimmy Joo) bag or a wallet. You could buy her dad a guess wallet as well. I find it works like a charm. Sinc eyou are in teh states you could pop into the branded factory shops and ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with my ex, who I despise, and I don't know how to stop.
Q. I am obsessing over my ex who never treated me with any kind of respect for thoughtfulness, and just used me and strung me along for a year and a half. I was really upset and heartbroken, and kinda pissed off, when things ended for good in the ...
A. 3 December 2012: Hi, I agree you still have feelings for the ex and you want to hurt him for the pain he has caused you. The fact that you mentioned more that once that you over him and saying are in love with the new guy, you trying not to assure us but yourself.
... (read in full...)
Would you commit to someone who treated you like this?
Q. Hello -- I've been with a girl (30) for 15 months now. Initially everything was great, but as the months wore on, some issues have came to light. She's pushing hard for commitment; living together, marriage, kids eventually, etc, and is threatening ...
A. 3 December 2012: Hi, Based on what you have said I am not sure why you are even in a relationship with her. Do you seriously think marrying her will make things better "NO". You need to end things with this woman and find someone that can love you and treat you ... (read in full...)
Had my chance, didn't take it. Is it too late now?
Q. Ok. Long story short, I met this girl in Aug 2011. She had a boyfriend and broke up in Oct 2011. In January 2012 I really started to make a move. I took her to lunch and she made it obvious that she liked me a lot. We hung out several times and ...
A. 3 December 2012: Hi, I would not express my feelings as she told you she was dating her ex. She clearly feels a stronger connection with this guy and sees you as friend and maybe even a safety net. Also she does not keep much contact with you, she just test the ... (read in full...)
Unemployment and relationship finances...who buys dinner?
Q. My bf and I have been dating about 8 months and this is the first serious relationship for both of us. When we met we both had good jobs, he still has one but I'm a contractor and so once my last contract ended about 4 months ago I have been ...
A. 29 November 2012: Hi, I love being spoilt by my man so I can identify with you. However I think you set the tone upfront when u chose to split the bills and he is just very comfortable with the arrangement. Like I said I am a 21 centuary woman but there are some ... (read in full...)
I feel really jealous that he has moved on before me!
Q. A year and a half ago I met this guy, we had a fling for two weeks and he returned to his home country. Four months later I went out there to travel, but ende up staying with him in his city for 7 months. We had an intense, unstable, emotional ...
A. 29 November 2012: Hi, dont contact him ever again, yes it is hard, but after a telephone call you feel miserable, do you think after a break you call and will not feel the same? Why risk hurting yourself all over again. Also if he wants you back he should be doing ... (read in full...)
My new husband is emailing a stranger pictures of him, and personal information for him and his family. HELP!
Q. Hello, there. I got a trouble, I dont know how to explain but I will write all the details down and I do wish I could get some advice and help because at the moment I do really really need it. Me and my husband just got married 4 weeks ago and we...
A. 29 November 2012: Hi, I dont think after four weeks of marriage this kind of behaviour is acceptable. You deserve a lot better. What difference who it is, after all he is married to you. You need to give him an ultimatime and if he does not respect you and stop this ... (read in full...)
I'm finally ready to move in with him after a year and a half of long distance relationship. Now he says he doesn't think we're right for each other.
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for a year and a half. We have been very happy and planned to move in together. He has alway said he wanted to marry me and now that i am in a place to move in with him he has said he is not sure we are ...
A. 29 November 2012: Hi, he is weighing his options. Be glad he did not just move in with you, use you and then say its not working out. I would give him the space, and that means no contact at all. I suggest you try and move on as I would not want to be with someone ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is living with his baby mama...
Q. My boyfriend is living with his baby mama... So my boyfriend recently (4 months ago) had a baby with his last girlfriend. We have been dating for seven months and I really like him. He is so sweet and really goes out of his way to make sure that I k...
A. 28 November 2012: Hi , irrespective of how sweet he is, you are the other woman and he is only telling you what you want to hear. You are looked upon having an affair with him as he is hiding you and is still with his baby's mum.
If he really want to be with you... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this? He's blocked me off all his social networking sites because apparently I "moan" too much
Q. I am 19 years old and have been in love with the same guy since I was 13. I've never been with another man and we have never been friends always more but on/off as he often goes with other women. I'm so close to him and his family and for a strang...
A. 23 November 2012: Honey, you need to change things and stop letting him treat you like a door mat. He is not going to marry you because him mum or familiy likes you or because you are the perfect housekeeper. You need to start from this very moument take charge of ... (read in full...)
I'm in a unhappy marriage, and I've fallen for a man I met online.
Q. Hi. I am in a mess of a situation. I am a married woman of five years and I have 2 children. I'm 26 years old. I have been with my husband for 10 years total. He was my first and only boyfriend and my first and only for everything. Since the ...
A. 23 November 2012: Hi You need to remember there is a difference between marriage and a fantasy. It starts as a fantasy and ends in a marriage. You have not met the online friend, who could be anything and may not even be real. I recommend that you start getin... (read in full...)
My husband talked about me to his female friends and now I don't trust him and feel disrespected
Q. Need advise please, I'm a very happy person with 3 kids until one of my husband female friends decided to email my husband on an email we both get acsess to badmouthing me "his wife" trying to tell him I'm crazy jelous...., I confronted him about ...
A. 16 November 2012: I agree your husband has shown lack of respect by bad mouthing you to other woman. But what I find strange is why this lady calls and hang up on you if she is just friends with your husband? Are you sure they are just friends? I think she is making ... (read in full...)
Should I bring my boyfriend to my house for thanksgiving? He cheated and my family will probably be mean to him
Q. So, it's almost the holidays and my boyfriend is coming to my place for the holidays. But, I'm going to my cousins house for thanksgiving dinner, and he's not doing anything considering his family doesn't really do anything. But, my family knows ...
A. 16 November 2012: I would take him to the diner and dont intervene what your family would say. THey are only looking after your interest and want to make sure he does not hurt you again. He did the crime so let him face the consequences. Why do you want to protect ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is Jealous of My Success
Q. My girlfriend is extremely competitive with regard to academic and professional success. She claims that she is "happy" for me, but makes snide remarks and tries to diminish my accomplishments. When I bring it up to her attention that I feel that ...
A. 16 November 2012: I dont think this should be such a big deal, other OPs have bigger problems.
If she is competitive, there is no harm, maybe she feels she needs to match up to you, just maybe she feels not good enough and reads too much into your comments... (read in full...)
Her actions speak louder than her words but does she want to get back together?
Q. So my ex and I broke up about a month ago. It got pretty ugly and ended with name calling ect. I left her. We went a week without talking and she finally contacts me. She tells me she's over me and tthanks for making me a stronger person. Well a.few ...
A. 16 November 2012: Hi, Take a break from the relationship. You can tell her out right the friendship thing is not doing it for you and she is either in or out of love with you. Tell her When she decides she wants a relationship she knows where to find you and there is ... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time getting to know people and getting a girlfriend. Any advice that can help?
Q. I've been single for 8 months now and it's about time I start dating again, the only thing is I've been trying to date for the past 8 months that I've been single without any luck. I'm not like those other guys that just take long breaks between ...
A. 16 November 2012: Hi, why cant you discontinue the meds and ask for alternatives if necessary.
YOu should try talking to girls about what they like , dont like, whats their idea of fun? Description of their ideal mate. If you are comfortable ask them of their id... (read in full...)
Would it be alright to invite a platonic lady friend to my office party?
Q. I am in the final stages of ending my 31 year marriage to the love of my life. While the marriage is over the friendship is not but I am trying to find a way to afford for me to not live in the same house as her for reasons not relavant to this que...
A. 16 November 2012: Hi, does this very also only see this as a platonic relationship? Especially since she is single, there maybe some aspirations for something more? So you need to make it very clear that you need a friend and dont see yourself in anything more deep ... (read in full...)
My ex owes me money! Is it worth trying to get it back?
Q. Grrrrr, i can't believe I am yet again posting about my ex... He owes me money for a car that i sold back to him before the summer (at his request might i add) I have sent him a couple of reminder emails, but just get fobbed off each time, last ...
A. 15 November 2012: Hi, first I would contact him in email and keep it friendly, asking him when can you expect your money. If you get it in writing that he owes you and acknowledge the agreement was for a car he bought from from. There is nothing his girlfriend can do ... (read in full...)
I just cant get this guy out of my head!
Q. I work in a bar where the majority of the customers are middle aged (I'm 20) and there is a group of friends that come in every weekend for a drink and stay all evening I really like one of them and Im not sure what to do, I think (but am not sure...
A. 15 November 2012: Hi, you should not do anything as he has a girlfriend and there is no way you will know how serious the relationship is from just observing. Find someone else and who is single.... (read in full...)
My best friend wants a marriage of convenience!
Q. hey aunts and uncles urgent advice needed please. My close male friend and i are both creeping closer to 30. Neither of us is with anybody and we get on very well. We were having a meal at his house, together the other night and got talking about ...
A. 7 November 2012: How is this a marriage of convenience if you love him? Do you know how he feels about you outstide friendship? People for decades have had arranged marriages and it has worked, so who knows this might just work, however I would want the full package ... (read in full...)
Using Male Psychology to Win Him Back!
Q. How to win back your ex boyfriend can seem like a daunting task, but with some simple tips, you can have him crawling back to you in no time. Unlike most information about how to win back your ex I've seen on the web, this guide focuses solely o...
A. 3 June 2010: There is no harm in wining the man you love back than being with someone you dont love and spend the rest of your life pining for what you can't have... (read in full...)
Does it sound as if there is a chance for us to be together?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for nearly 2 years, he tells me that he wants to be with me and cares very deeply for me. He calls me 3 times a day and texts me too. His marriage is over, there is no sex or intimacy in the relationship, his wife told my ...
A. 3 June 2010: I agree with the previous writer, if he has not left her does not seem like he will. Don't build a life on false hopes and dreams - you will only get hurt... (read in full...)
Husband left me after 10 years
Q. Ok, I have been with my husband for 10 years. We separated once before and then reconciled. Now we are separated again just when things seemed to be getting good again. His dad passed away in February and he has wanted nothing to do with me since. ...
A. 2 June 2010: Let him go, he needs to work this out for himself. If you "hound" him its going to make the situation worst. Just send him an sms that you are going to take a positive view in life and learn to live without him for your son. Do not contact him and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's practically dating this girl
Q. I'm naturally a brunette but I keep dying my hair and eyebrows red for my boyfriend of over two years. He's pretty much obsessed with red heads and it never bothered me until now. The last five months, he's been hanging out with a natural red-head...
A. 23 May 2010: No matter how much it hurts you need to sever ties with him. I cannot warn you enough that if you dont break up with him he is going to dump you soon. That will be alot worst. Walk out of this at least with your head high and dont give him the last ... (read in full...)
How can I mend my broken heart?
Q. hi, i hope someone can help me get over this as my heart is so so sore, about 35 years ago i fell in love with a guy we were getting married then something happened and we drifted apart 8 weeks later he was married, the night he got married he ...
A. 16 April 2010: You need to move on and do not let him in your life again. This is a closd chapter.Time heals all wounds and just remember everytime you let him in you set yourself up for all the pain and heartbreak again.
He has no back bone and is just going to... (read in full...)
I love her but she slept with so many men
Q. I was dating someone a couple years ago that I cared very deeply for. We were having a great time together. During the time we were together she was sexually assaulted by someone she knew. She didn't go to the police or tell anyone for months. ...
A. 14 April 2010: Give her a chance but if you cannot look pass this episode let her go. Look at the positive, she came clean and admitted what she did. She could have lied and you would be none the wiser.... (read in full...)
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