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My parents do not want me to see my little sister and she forgot who I was.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 March 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 6 March 2013)
A female United States age 22-25, *uestioning_Girl writes:

I've been around my sister everyday since she was born in 2008, when I was 9. But when my dad came back into my life when I was 13 and got custody of me after 4 months I moved in with him. I visited my sister a couple of times a week and some weekends. But then in April of 2012, my dad stopped letting me visit. Her 5th birthday was march 1st and I called my mom 7 times and texted her 3 asking if I could wish my sister a happy birthday, but she never let me. On march 3rd My aunt drove me to my moms house. I knocked on the door and asked if I could see my sister, my mom wouldn't even answer the door, she got her boyfriend's dad too. So, he said yes and let me come in, my sister saw me and then ran away and hid under a table. She wouldn't come out the whole time I was there so I eventually left and the end. What do I do? I love my sister, it broke my heart that she forgot who I was and I've barely been able to stop crying since. Help, please..

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A female reader, Full moon temptress1 United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2013):

Ah honey, how heartbreaking for you.You don't go into much detail about your past, I'm assuming its quite painful for you.All you can do is try and keep in contact with her, letters, try and visit again.I get the feeling she's going to need you in the future.Best of luck.

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A female reader, Questioning_Girl United States +, writes (6 March 2013):

Questioning_Girl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well yes she is my half sister, I'm sorry I should've mentioned that earlier. I think some of you are right about hr not forgetting me because she would come up every once in a while and smile, then hide again. Thank you all for your answers.

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A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (6 March 2013):

sugarplum786 agony auntHi Honey, dont stress, you can send her photos and letters and when she is older she will know you cared and tried to keep in touch.

Is she your half sister as its odd your dad got custody of you and your mum the baby?

Irrespective of the reasons, just remember that your dad has your best interest at heart or he would not have got custody of you.

You should text your mum once in a while even if she does not respond, telling her that you love her and would like to meet for coffee. Its unfortunate when divorce happens all teh adult care about is them selves and getting even with the spouse that left them.

So chin up, just keep the contact no matter how down you get because your sister will know when she is older that you were there for her. Its also time to have a frank discussion with your dad and ask him for advise.

Tell him right in the begining of the converstation that you love him and appreciate everything he does for you but need some clarity and his help to see your sister.

Remember there is no harm in trying and even when we fail, its better to have tried and failed than failed without trying.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (6 March 2013):

That sucks.

Why would your dad not let you visit? Is your mom dangerous or something? I'm surprised your mom wouldn't want to see you. This is so complicated that it's hard to answer.

Maybe you remind your mother of your dad and she can't stand him? You need to have a talk with your mom to tell her that you miss your sister (and your mom if you do) so much that it's literally breaking your heart to not see her. Tell her that you understand if you two need to take it slow, but you need to start seeing her again. Ask her under what conditions that would be okay with her. Weekends at first?

If it makes you feel any better, your sister didn't forget you. I have a child her age and she remembers her relatives that she doesn't get to see for awhile. She may just not have known how to respond. But if you were just some random person she wouldn't have hid, she would have just not paid attention to you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013):

I don't want to upset you by asking this, but is your mother and or boyfriend mentally stable? I ask this because you said your father got custody of you and has stopped letting you visit them. For your sister to run and hide under a table is quite odd. What is your relationship like with your mother and her boyfriend? What is your sisters living conditions like? if you're only around 13 years old I don't understand why your mother is acting so odd or why she will not allow you to see your sister. Something weird might be going on but I'm not sure what. Have you had any contact at all with your mother recently?

Please keep us updated, best of luck.

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