New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*ugarplum786 agony aunt

*ugarplum786

South Africa  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *ugarplum786 to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *ugarplum786 a private message

*ugarplum786's Ratings
Excellent69%
Average13%
Poor18%
*ugarplum786's profile:

I am no expert but my experience it life allows me help people and also I really love helping people. I live in South Africa, I think the media makes it out to be worst that what it is and I am loyal to my country. I am qualified professional and enjoy the business world, might add still very male dominant.

I am married to a fantastic guy and have two lovely kids. I thnk life is close to perfect and thank God for it. But it was not always perfect as life throws you all kinds of curve balls and one needs to just learn to deal with it and help you grow stronger.

< Prev1234567891011Next > [16 pages, 609 answers]

I love my wife, but I am in love with her sister

Q.   I think I have fallen for her. Six and a half years ago I found out that my wife had cheated on me, prior to this our relationship had been cold for a while and I found myself having lustful feelings towards her sister who used to stay over fairly f...

A.   23 January 2014: You need to grow some balls and divorce your wife. Yes she had an affair but you chose to stay in the marriage. You have fallen for the wife's sister, divorce your wife and pursue her. I don't think you will do it as a lot of men that try to step ... (read in full...)

Do I choose my husband or my boyfriend?

Q.   I need advice very badly. I'm in a predicament I never thought I would find myself in though I have seen it on the site before. I am having to choose between two men. Each have their strengths and weaknesses. One is my husband, not what you think or ...

A.   23 January 2014: Hi, sounds like you limiting your view. Neither of these men are good for you. A husband that has bailed once and is likely to bail again when things get tough. He is obviously insecure and thinks having a child with you will keep you tied to this ... (read in full...)

My ex boyfriend is now running around with my sister!

Q.   Hi everyone. I hope you are all alright and God is following your steps. Today I'm writing here to ask everyone advice on a matter that seems complicated to me. So. I had a boyfriend, and if anyone has read about it before, we are not blood related, ...

A.   17 January 2014: Don't ever feel inferior or inadequate. It does not matter that she is the blue eyed girl. I am a firm believer that those that have everything on a silver platter struggle with challenges in life. Where as the one that has to constantly work and ... (read in full...)

My ex boyfriend is now running around with my sister!

Q.   Hi everyone. I hope you are all alright and God is following your steps. Today I'm writing here to ask everyone advice on a matter that seems complicated to me. So. I had a boyfriend, and if anyone has read about it before, we are not blood related, ...

A.   17 January 2014: Who need enemies if they have a sister like yours. Honey don't let her or this guy get under your skin. Try to start enjoying your life, have fun and keep busy. This hurt will only last as long as you want it that is if you refuse to let go and move ... (read in full...)

Caught my Girlfriend answering ad on craigslist.

Q.   I know it was deceitful but I created a fake ad on craigslist to see if my girlfriend would answer and she did. I did this once before and she answered and this was the second time. I replied back and pretended to this other guy and she flirted and ...

A.   15 January 2014: This is the end of the relationship, the question is when are you willing to accept its over. Also if you confront her will say she you it was you and was just teasing. Time to pack your bags or forever be questioning the love and loyalty of this ... (read in full...)

She's always got excuses not to spend time with me

Q.   So I met a girl after ending a 10 year relationship. The new girl is much younger than me and she started the flirting and all that sweet stuff. So I really thought she was into me. We've been seeing each other for 8 weeks now. We live far apart but ...

A.   15 January 2014: Aunty Bim Bim is spot on you are not the only man in her life. This lady appears messed up and you should run the opposite direction. Don't make any drastic changes for this "relationship" as there is no commitment and unlikely a future.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend announced he wanted a month apart

Q.   So here's the deal.... My boyf and I have been together 4 years, met at college, moved in together straight away, I finished college, he started his own business which he named after my family. We were so in love my family loved him even though ...

A.   14 January 2014: As much as it hurts and you want him back, he is not coming back. He has made up his mind. You have done the beginning and crying and its fallen on deaf ears. Yes its hard but you have to let him go. The more you beg and plead, you just going to... (read in full...)

How do I reconnect with I girl I haven't spoken to in over a year?

Q.   Hello, About 4 years ago I started dating this girl and we were in a relationship until this November, when we broke up. We left in good terms and I still talk to her occasionally. At the beginning of our relationship she introduced me t...

A.   14 January 2014: You and this qirl are single so go for it or spend the rest of your regretting never asking her out. Its better to try and fail than, fail before even trying.... (read in full...)

Is this woman just an angry person?

Q.   When she let you down sometimes and has severe mood swings, insults you verbally and acting angry towards you, without a serious reason, what would you do to handle the situation?( my attempt was just ignoring it....) For example: she gets made ab...

A.   14 January 2014: You must love her to have put up with her attitude. You need to tell her to get her or its over. She is either a bitter woman because of something that has happened in her past or she has very bad PMS or she is Bipolar. Regardless of the problem ... (read in full...)

Should I stick around for him or bail out?

Q.   i met this new guy over the christmas period at the lake. xmas day to be precise. his name is John (not real name). we started off very well.we met by the beach.i had a little problem with my car and it just happened that i mentioned about it in ...

A.   14 January 2014: Hi, don't get too close and make any sacrifices. This includes not sleeping with him. Tell him all you offer is friendship, when the divorce is final and he shows you proof that it is really over then only can hope for serious relationship. Many ... (read in full...)

I don't know if I was a drunk mistake or a rebound

Q.   My boyfriend of 6 months just broke up with me. I believe he broke up with me for his ex girlfriend, who he had been "on and off" with for 4 years. Although, now she is pregnant with another guy's baby. When we first met he was a bit of an alco...

A.   13 January 2014: He chose to care for an ex who is pregnant with another man's child than you. The truth is he is still in love with the ex and is prepared to take her back even though the child is not his. That shows his love and commitment to this woman. I am ... (read in full...)

Does my ex still love me? He got a new Gf. Yet now he will not leave me alone.

Q.   Does my ex still love me ? Hi everyone. Thanks for looking even if u don't read it all. Well basically to cut long story short. I was with my ex about 6 years, we split up due to arguing all the time and we ended up hating each other becau...

A.   9 January 2014: I agree with Honeypie, you need to let this go. Just to add why do want someone that treated you so badly and has the audacity to continue a relationship with his GF and continue to hound you with SMS. This kind of thrash is not worth the heartache. ... (read in full...)

My friend is marrying my brother and doesn't want to talk to me anymore!

Q.   My friend started to date my brother some time ago, they started to plan for a baby and she's now pregnant, and they recently got engaged as well. We all spent Christmas together, but somehow things just seemed.. weird. I was looking forward to ...

A.   8 January 2014: Is it possible that she was only friends with you to get closer to your brother and now that she has him she is not interested in maintain the friendship. Either way don't stress about it, there are plenty people out there that would appreciate you ... (read in full...)

Girls, what is your own preference with regard to your own pubic hair? Full bush, trimmed, landing strip or completely bald?

Q.   Dear Moderator, I went through the questions. Most are what about what the other sex likes but I can't find one where the women answered for themselves. I shave myself smooth because I like it that way myself (not because my man requested it). Jus...

A.   8 January 2014: I prefer bald as I feel its clean and hygienic. I am also very comfortable with bald.... (read in full...)

Do I still have a chance at winning a good guy turned bad love back?

Q.   A good guy fell in love with me and pursued me for years. I resisted him and gave him the cold shoulder for years. He wasn't my typical type of guy and was much older. Fast forward now that I am grown and matured and have tested the waters over the...

A.   7 January 2014: Just have a meeting / lunch and keep it casual. Try starting off with friendship. If he really loved you and there is no one else in the picture, you are likely to get his interest. Like I said start slow and work on it. No promises but there is no ... (read in full...)

How to fight jealousy after she dumped me?

Q.   We have been friends for a long time. I always had feelings for her, more than being friends but circumstances made it impossible to show her my affection. Finally I took a chance, when she needed me the most. But it turned out that she wasn´t ...

A.   7 January 2014: You have poured your heart out to her and unfortunately she does not reciprocate those feelings. She enjoys her freedom and clearly does not want to commit to one person. I suggest you don't contact her and considering how you feel about her, ... (read in full...)

Is he developing feelings for me?

Q.   Ive been friends with a guy for just over a week and its a friends with benefits thing, we've seen each other most nights and he has stayed the night a couple of times. He says things like we should go away for the weekend and offers to take me ...

A.   7 January 2014: Hi, if you want more and have started to develop feelings, I suggest an open talk is important. Don't continue a FWB relationship with any expectation as you will just get hurt. I would either end this FWB or have an open conversation to avoid any ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is afraid of getting me pregnant so he wont have sex with me, what to do?

Q.   So me and my boyfriend have been together for four months now, and he barely has sex with me anymore, nowadays most of the time when we're having sex it starts with me practically raping him. I had a fear of getting pregnant, but when I found my ...

A.   20 December 2013: Sound like you want a kid and your BF knows that and he does not want one. You need to sit him own and talk about it and also you need to tell him that you will use some contraceptive to put his mind at ease. Assuming you are willing to wait till ... (read in full...)

How do I know who is serious about wanting to marry me?

Q.   Four men who lives in different countries are asking for my hand in marriage, two of the men lives near where I can visit them, but the other two I'll need a visa to get to them. One amongst the four has been my childhood Friend for 18 yrs now.we ...

A.   20 December 2013: Well your choice is the 3 guys, your BF is not interested in marrying you. Question is who do you love and want to marry? Marriage is not just accepting a proposal but also wanting to share your life with this person, being with someone you love... (read in full...)

If I sleep with him, am I just setting myself up to get hurt in the end?

Q.   This guy I like has a girlfriend and two kids and so I thought I'd never have a chance with him. We text a lot, and he started asking me sexual questions. I'm a virgin, never done anything. Well he asked me to send him pictures, naked pictures to be ...

A.   20 December 2013: Why are you setting yourself up for heartache. He has a GF and if he is unfaithful to her do you think he will be faithful to you. Sending naked pics of yourself is not a good idea, when they leave your phone, there is not limit to where it can end ... (read in full...)

MY boyfriend is convinced I'm cheating and I'm not

Q.   Hi there. I am writing because I have no one else to turn to really. So let me just get to it. Ive been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 8 months. I love him to bits but being with him is litrally killing me. Today I found my boyfriends profile ...

A.   20 December 2013: Honey, because he is unfaithful to you he is projecting it on to you. Why are you still with him? You need to stop letting him abuse you, yes this is a form of abuse and decide that this is a dead end relationship and you deserve to be happy and ... (read in full...)

I told him how I felt and he confirmed he didn't feel the same -- what now?

Q.   I told a guy how I feel about him over facebook. I told him all the things I admire about his character and how I wish he strives well next year in university (he'll be about 600 miles away). I knew how he felt (or didn't feel about me) but it hurt ...

A.   20 December 2013: I suggest you don't keep contact with him, until you are 100% over him. Even as a friend, you will still have some hope that he has a change in heart, hence it is best that until you are over this crush that you go no contact. You spoke your hea... (read in full...)

Am I being too harsh on her? She does have her problems. Or is she the one doing the pressuring?

Q.   We've been good friends now for about 4 years and used to be incredibly close, but over the past year, things have gone from bad to worse and I don't know what to do. We met at college, lived together with other friends for a year and then decided...

A.   19 December 2013: Your friend has issues and clearly the fact that she had to take a break from studies indicate the extent of her problem. With regard to staying with you, I think she would love to just accept your offer, but has a guilt of imposing herself.... (read in full...)

Partner and I together for 6 years but feel so trapped. And I am pregnant. What do I do about my feelings for my ex?

Q.   I have been with my partner 6 years.start of this year innocently I sent a message to a ex on fb about something simple and things just escalated from there. We started being in same places at same times etc as meeting when we could,even slee...

A.   19 December 2013: You are marrying the BF for the wrong reasons. Why did you fall pregnant in the midst of uncertainty. The answer was staring you in the face, you want your ex back but afraid of the unknown and scared to take the risk. Your BF is your fall back ... (read in full...)

I cheated on him, once. Yet I can't picture my life without him. What do I do about my guilt?

Q.   I'm about to get married to my bf of 5 years I do love him very much and I am very happy that we are going to get married, but I am having second doubts about getting married, because I am guilty of cheating on him once in the past, while we were ...

A.   19 December 2013: Not many would agree, but I would suggest that you keep quiet and suffer in silence, why ruin his and your daughters life. I think the punishment that you will have to live with the guilt is enough. No need hurt them. As long as history does not... (read in full...)

I feel so used -- he dropped me as soon as we slept together

Q.   Hello, I understand this is probably a trivial and common question, but it is really getting me down as this has never happened to me before. I met this guy and we got talking, we had a in depth conversation and he was really sweet. We changed ...

A.   18 December 2013: You learnt a hard lesson, don't sleep with a guy so soon. You cannot change the past and there is no point beating yourself up. Put this down to bad experience and move on. He is real ass and its better he showed his true colours now. You cannot c... (read in full...)

Any sayings that make you feel better after a breakup?

Q.   Hi, Has anyone got any good sayings that make you feel better and help forget, get over a relationship that is or hasn't worked out? For example, I saw a good one "If you are left wondering were you are stood, it's time to stop standing and sta...

A.   18 December 2013: We all have been down this part and we survived. The trick is to keep busy and take each day as it comes. The pain lessons and you heal. Just don't be hard on yourself and expect it to disappear , it will but not if you keep pushing it. Grieve the ... (read in full...)

I don't want to lose my friends but don't want to lose the chance of getting my ex back either!

Q.   Hi Everyone, I have had a pretty rough year, And now I'm in an even more messed up situation. Back at the start of the year i resigned from a job i hated doing to pursue some study and get into a real job i enjoy (Which i can now say has h...

A.   17 December 2013: Your ex is not worth it, when things were tough she left you alone. Now that she has grazed on the other side, she realises what she gave up. I get the impression you love her and want her back, did she sleep around during the time you guys bro... (read in full...)

I kissed another man, now my husband wants to sleep with someone to "get even"

Q.   I've been married for 3 years and together for 6. I love my husband but we have had our issues in the past I cheated on him 6 months into our relationship by kissing another man he also touched my breasts. Nothing else happened and all contact with ...

A.   17 December 2013: I don't think this is about revenge as he would have even the score ages ago. I suspect he has a crush/interest in someone specific and using your past lapse in judgement as an excuse. He may not be serious about anyone but he definitely is consi... (read in full...)

I asked my girlfriend not to drink so much when out with friends but she did so anyways!

Q.   Ok so tonight my girlfriend went and hung out with one of her girl friends and said they were gonna go for happy hour and get a drink and some food. So I said don't drink too much please and she said she wouldn't but her friend messages me and said ...

A.   17 December 2013: Your GF wrote here about her problem, she was advised that she has an alcohol problem and should seek help. I suggest you get her to go to a rehab or this relationship is doomed. You cannot babysit or control her actions but also no need to put up ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend of 8 months forgot my birthday! How do I handle this?

Q.   We've been together for close to 8 months now and she forgot my birthday. Today the 16th of december is my birthday. Although we've talked about how to celebrate it all week last week, I havent heard from her all day. She had an exam today but she ...

A.   17 December 2013: She just may not be that into you, especially if yourll spoke about it last week.... (read in full...)

Do I reply to his lovely response?

Q.   Hello aunties and uncles I was friends with a man for over 5 years, he's 3 years younger than me.. During the first 6 months we had a fling, and then we became just friends. I fell in love with him and all the way through our friendship I yea...

A.   17 December 2013: Don't respond, because you know in your heart you hoping its more than a friendly response. He has had 10 months to come back to you, he did not. He is not in love with you. There is no happy ending, move on. If you don't, you will be stuck in the ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wont take things to the next level, how long do I wait?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend were together for ten months, we were both happy together, till his wife he was seperated from started, she said she would take him back as soon as i was gone. Well as soon as i was gone she left . We have been talking dating ...

A.   13 December 2013: You are giving him what he wants and he is satisfied with you being the other woman. You have to end it (not what you want) or the status will never change.... (read in full...)

My first love has moved on, but I can't seem to

Q.   Hi... I am a 21 year old girl nursing a broken heart. I've done many stupid things during the past year. And now I wish none of them happened. I wish I could change things but I know there's no point of wishing that, and I can't change life or ...

A.   12 December 2013: Stop making the ex to be your saviour and remember the relationship was problematic or you would never have ended it. I don't doubt that you love him and want to give this relationship another shot. Are you connected to him on facebook? If so yo... (read in full...)

Why didn't I mean enough to him? Why did he stop making an effort?

Q.   After knowing this man for over 8 years and being friends, we decided to take things to another level. He is one of the funniest and likeable people I have ever met. When we made it official, so many of his friends and family reached out to me to...

A.   11 December 2013: Honey, he was an ass and there is nothing less than what I would expect from a guy, to try and make an effort in making this LDR work. It seems like during the time, he either realised that he was not ready for a serious relationship or simply m... (read in full...)

I was expecting another chance for us

Q.   I have been hanging out with my ex boyfriend this past month, after being broken up for about 5 months. Yes we are sleeping together, hanging out, acting like a couple. But he tells me today that he is not ready to get back into a relationship. He ...

A.   10 December 2013: I have to agree with other aunts, you free convenient sex to him, FWB. He does not see a long term relationship with you. You need to either end this relationship or keep the FWB status and start disinvesting from the relationship. Its best to ... (read in full...)

Usually men like me but this one is not helping my self esteem.

Q.   I have been seeing this man a long time now. He rejects me a lot, he insults my independence and he tells me that I will never have a boyfriend. I can t lie I have said some mean things to him before too. He told me I was not a normal girl and ...

A.   9 December 2013: In a sick way, its human nature to want approval from the person that treats you the worst. I suggest you stop contact with this guy and let him know that you will not be treated badly as there are greener pastures. Its up to you to be strong and ... (read in full...)

Four years and he still doesn't know when he'll be ready for marriage?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and yet he still says he doesn't know when he'll be ready for marriage. I've asked him twice now and he's said he does want to 'one day' but he has lots of living to do before then. When I ask him what type ...

A.   4 December 2013: He has everything and you continue to lay it out for him, so he is wondering why change the status. You are unlikely the one he will marry as he does not feel that way about you. Yes it sucks but don't hold out for him. Keep your options open, he is ... (read in full...)

Why is he still friends with his ex if she cheated on him?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months or so now, and I really love and care for him. His family and I get along really well, and I care for them a lot too. We never really have problems or fight, he's really nice and respectful, and we seem to ...

A.   3 December 2013: Its simple he is not over the woman he loved and he is not in a relationship with her because of circumstances. Tell him to choose, unfortunately you might lose him. But at least you know where you stand and not find out years from now he wants the ... (read in full...)

He's leaving in two months and I'll never see him again! When should I tell him I like him?

Q.   Hi. I've decided to finally let a guy know that I like him. Trouble is, when? Because he's leaving to go study far (600 miles away). In exactly 2 months, then I'll never, ever see him again. I've liked him for over a year now and I was too scared t...

A.   3 December 2013: There is no point in telling him as he is leaving in two months. Let this crush go, LDR don't work and is too stressful. You will meet someone else, he is a crush that you will get over in time.... (read in full...)

I don't want to start a relationship with her, only to find she's crazy!

Q.   Ok so I've met a girl and we get on really well. I want to ask her out, but there is a problem: Some people I know, who also know her, have told me she is a little crazy. Apparently she caused a whole load of problems with her ex boyfriend, and some ...

A.   3 December 2013: If you like her, go out with her as friends and make up your mind. The woman you go on a date with does not necessarily become your GF. Give it a shot and give her a fair chance without any preconceived ideas/notions that people have planted. ... (read in full...)

*ugarplum786's friends

These are mutual friends, so *ugarplum786 has added them and they have added *ugarplum786!

Abella agony auntAbella
catnip agony auntcatnip
Daisy_Daisy agony auntDaisy_Daisy
fayechris07 agony auntfayechris07
fidelis agony auntfidelis
KC12 agony auntKC12
Kind Princess  agony auntKind Princess
mystiquek agony auntmystiquek
PRETTY KITTEN agony auntPRETTY KITTEN
sugarplum786 agony auntsugarplum786
Tisha-1 agony auntTisha-1
Ugo vera agony auntUgo vera

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0937320000084583!