Like what
she writes?
... Add *ugarplum786 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ugarplum786 a private message | | | *ugarplum786's profile:I am no expert but my experience it life allows me help people and also I really love helping people. I live in South Africa, I think the media makes it out to be worst that what it is and I am loyal to my country. I am qualified professional and enjoy the business world, might add still very male dominant.
I am married to a fantastic guy and have two lovely kids. I thnk life is close to perfect and thank God for it. But it was not always perfect as life throws you all kinds of curve balls and one needs to just learn to deal with it and help you grow stronger. |
|
My parents do not want me to see my little sister and she forgot who I was.
Q. I've been around my sister everyday since she was born in 2008, when I was 9. But when my dad came back into my life when I was 13 and got custody of me after 4 months I moved in with him. I visited my sister a couple of times a week and some ...
A. 6 March 2013: Hi Honey, dont stress, you can send her photos and letters and when she is older she will know you cared and tried to keep in touch. Is she your half sister as its odd your dad got custody of you and your mum the baby? Irrespective of th... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend no longer want to date me if he finds about my family history?
Q. Hey everyone, I have a boyfriend who knows everything about me apart from certain things about my family I omitted like...my dad's sister ran away against the wishes of her family and got married to a convict whose been involved in a lot of crimes,a...
A. 28 February 2013: Hi, there is no way for knowing for sure. It depends on your boyfriend / his family and the ethnic group.
Also depends if he has his own family dirt that he would like to hide then he will be more accepting.
I accept this has nothing to do wi... (read in full...)
What do I have to do to make my boyfriend realize that what I do for him/his family is out of love?
Q. Is it possible for someone to never be satisfied with you,rather not see how much you care.. My boyfriend of 5 years never really sees the good in me..I'v been taking care of his autistic sister for the past 4 years not because I have to but beca...
A. 28 February 2013: The reason he does not appreciate you is because you stopped being a girlfriend and started being his mum.
There is no fun in the relationship other than responsibilities. He is cricial because he thinks is okay to treat you like a dorrmat.... (read in full...)
I want to call my ex but he says he needs time!
Q. my ex boyfriend has recently split up from me and i am finding it very hard to forget him he is always in my mind, and all i want to do is call or text him. i feel it wasn't the right thing to do but he said it was and wants to remain friends. but ...
A. 28 February 2013: Hi, you want him back just stay away and let him figure it out for kimself. He needs to miss you and know you are worth fighting for.
So just let things run its course.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend broke up saying he had never felt like marrying me..something was wrong. I want him back though!
Q. My ex boyfriend and I celebrated our two year anniversary at the beginning of February and he dumped me over the phone 11 days later. We were in what I considered to be a very committed relationship--sure we had never talked about marriage but to ...
A. 28 February 2013: Hi, Sorry but it is pointless contacting him or asking him for closure, he has decided to move on.
Also the distance you felt was him, trying to get his courage together to end things.
I also dont think he was entirely honest, he may not have ... (read in full...)
Should I call him and tell him how I really feel?
Q. okay so..here it is under an unusual planetary alignment i meet the most amazing man it was strange i felt a deep connection with him when we shook hands i will never forget gazing into his eyes when i met him. i could not describe the pow...
A. 26 February 2013: Hi, What I dont see coming out in the information you gave is that this guy has not expressed or shown any interest in you?
I am not syaing he is not interested in you, but you do risk this being a one sided attraction. Does this gut know you are ... (read in full...)
She keeps finding fault with me. Though not afraid to ask for presents.Help please, because I am confused about what to do?
Q. My gf and I have been dating for 2.5 years. We spoke today over the phone, and she asked me if I want to know what she feels right now. I said yes. She said that a few days ago, I had put her down. I asked how. She explained that she felt hurt wh...
A. 25 February 2013: Sounds like your girlfriend has an inferior complex about herself that she constantly needs to be reassured. She either trust and believes you or find someone else. I also think she mght be looking for an out of this relationship as she is using ... (read in full...)
Instead of telling me why she loved me she told me about the stuff that bugs her
Q. Last night I laid down next to my girlfriend and said "I love you" and she asked me to tell her why. So I started listing all of the things that I love about her. Then I asked her to tell me what she thought. She started by bringing up an argument ...
A. 22 February 2013: You are reading too much into it, I think its good she can tell you about the things that upset her. Yes, you may not want to hear it and if you complain, she will never express her concerns to you again.
Next time tell her at the end jokingly... (read in full...)
I'm supposed to be getting married in May. My fiance has been again been caught talking sexual on dating sites!
Q. I am supposed to be getting married in June. The honeymoon is even booked. After the wedding she would have been moving into my house. We have been together for over 5 years. It has been an off and on relationship for the last 3 years. Mainly d...
A. 22 February 2013: This is the end of the relationship. You cannot put your head in hole and think this is going to stop, history has repeated it self over and over again. You walk down that aisle you cannot blame her or anyone as you know the truth.... (read in full...)
I want to call my ex but he says he needs time!
Q. my ex boyfriend has recently split up from me and i am finding it very hard to forget him he is always in my mind, and all i want to do is call or text him. i feel it wasn't the right thing to do but he said it was and wants to remain friends. but ...
A. 22 February 2013: Honey, if you want him back, just dont contact him - no sms, no bbm, no facebook no calls. It called going cold turkey. It will help you heal and also if he loves you, this will make him miss you and want to come back.
There is no harm in hoping t... (read in full...)
M I overreacting from my supposed best friend telling everything to my now ex?
Q. I lived next door to a woman my age with children the same age as my son. I felt lucky to have moved into a home so close to someone I could relate to and chat with, and our kids could play together. My boyfriend and I were fighting a lot, and I ad...
A. 19 February 2013: She is no friend of yours and you did the right thing servering all ties. What she did was betrayed your trust and it questions what she was up to as she should have known that what she said will harm your relationship. I think its best she showed ... (read in full...)
Husband wants me to become friends with strange women because he likes them
Q. My husband seems to always want me to be friends with girls that he "gets a kick out of" but it always feels like he wants it so he can have an excuse to be close and flirty with them. I have said I am happy with my current friendships and don't ...
A. 19 February 2013: What I dont understand is why you even let him demean u in such a manner. Are you not enough for him. Are u expected to be him pimp? Seriously get a divorce as this man has no respect for you or his marriage and you definitely deserve better.... (read in full...)
Is it possible to forgive after spouse confesses to being unfaithful
Q. I need help and don't want to unload on family and friends, so I am turning to my dearcupid family. Does anybody believe that it is possible to forgive after spouse confesses to being unfaithful. The betrayal happened long ago, and he lied to me ...
A. 19 February 2013: Hi, sounds like he shacked up with someone when he left. Also this woman was in the house when you took the kids to visit. If he was man enough, he would be totally honest and admit he left the marriage for another woman and it failed and he ca... (read in full...)
Husband's phone has a name as "buddy" who turns out is a girl! Should I be worried?
Q. So the other day while my husband was in the shower, he asked me to find a number in his cell phone (a friend of his that we were meeting later) and call him to confirm the time. When I was doing that, his recent call history showed up, and I ...
A. 19 February 2013: Hi
I would be concern. But I would get all the facts together before I decide to take him on. You just might want to do some investigation yourself or hire someone to find out.
Just be prepared to handle what comes your way.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems repulsed by my weight loss and breast size being smaller
Q. I was 14lbs heavier when I met my boyfriend and I'm losing weight quickly through stress that I'm experiencing at the moment. Well I've always had big boobs and I'm now a uk size 10 and they're 34 e, he doesn't like it because they're getting ...
A. 19 February 2013: Get rid of him. Why would you let someone insult you in that manner. What should be most important is how you feel about the change in body and looks, you need to be comfortable with yourself and he needs to learn to either accept you or move on.... (read in full...)
My partner cheated on me 6 months ago and I cant get over it, will the pain ever go away?
Q. hi my partner of 20 years cheated on me with a woman he met on the internet, we live in Australia she lives in America. they used to play cards i would walk past and they would be chatting i would try and look at what they were saying but when i ...
A. 19 February 2013: Simple , he thought he would not get caught. It was convenien, he was going to out of the country and she was available. He would have got away if the woman did not decide to get even for being used and disposed.... (read in full...)
My gf forgot valentines day, should I break up?
Q. its valentines day. long story short. im in a ldr with a girl because of her school but we see each other often. im affectionate, romantic, gentleman kind of guy and she is not much affectionate, she never let her guard down, she is cold as a snow ...
A. 19 February 2013: Hi, If she does not have much money and invested $900 on a ticket to see you that in it self should be a valentines day gift.
THis just might where you expect something tangible and she shows her love in the ways that she thinks its importan... (read in full...)
Whats the best way to act when running into an ex that has really hurt you?
Q. I need advice on what is the best way to deal with when running into the guy who hurt you so badly and upset you more than you've ever been? My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me nearly 2 weeks ago in a club with no compassion, dece...
A. 18 February 2013: I would ignore him but also enjoy myself and look happy, the best punishment for an ex is to see the woman you gave up happy and least bothered about his presence.
Also dont act over the top. If he greets you just be polite and carry on talking ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't seem to want anything to do with me on Valentines Day. what should I do?
Q. Ever since I turned 12, I have always dreamed of celebrating Valentines Day with someone special. I never even had a boyfriend until I was 18. I never thought it would take seven years to be able to spend the day with someone I love. Now I'm marr...
A. 15 February 2013: Why is the husband addicted to the omputer? Is he into porn and therefore thats where he is getting his pleasure.
I would check his history, and see the sites he has visited.
Its just a thought and not necessary where the problem is but a... (read in full...)
Forthcoming date with my ex ... how to show him what he's been missing?
Q. Hey all!!! Some much needed help please! My bf of 2 years and I broke up just over a month ago.. but we have both continued to see each other every so often. Today we decided to start dating again and just see how it goes. I'm really happy ab...
A. 14 February 2013: I dont agree with sex on the "first" date. You want him to desire you and crave that bond again. Keep him at bay till you know that this relationship can survive a second attempt. You give him what he wants on this first date, shows desperation and ... (read in full...)
What to do when my boyfriend who had cheated before does not care about rebuilding trust and has nearly a hundren women on his contact list?
Q. My bf cheated on me a year and a half ago. I can't seem to get past it. I do not trust him at all any more. And he's not doing anything to help me trust him. He gets pissed every time I get mad because of his 205 contacts which three fourths r ...
A. 14 February 2013: Hi, you have no one to blame but yourself, you took him back without setting ground rules, so he thinks its okay to treat you like yesterdays garbage.
Harsh yes but its a reality. Dump him or go through life feeling this way.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend stood me up for dinner but is giving me the silent treatment saying I didn't text him back "I love you".
Q. My 28 year-old boyfriend was here to dine with me. He got a call from his mother, who asked him to meet her to give her something. He left and said he'd come back very soon. So I left his food on the table and waited. He didn't show up. An h...
A. 14 February 2013: Hi
If treats you as a girlfriend as a doormat, it will get worst in a marriage. I would also have been very sad and hurt. Just dont call him or send him any messages. He needs to apologise and mean it , that is not to do it to you again.
... (read in full...)
Can someone explain why a man would still want to be your friend after you have dumped them by email?
Q. I need to help with my situation Can someone explain why a man would still want to be your friend after you have dumped them by email? My ex doesn't resent me or anything, I don't understand. It makes me feel like he felt nothing for me. How can...
A. 7 February 2013: Dont be friends with someone that can shut the door on your face with just an email. You think if he comes back he has changed, highly unlikely.
Move on because you risk your heart being broken all over again.
He did not think about your feeli... (read in full...)
Was I a fool to get involved and offer my support to him?
Q. A friend of mine was going through hell as his wife had gone off with another man, leaving him a note. He hit the drink and after a week moved into a new place he kept on drinking I stepped up and saved him and his job, Things moved on and we be...
A. 7 February 2013: Hi, you got a bum deal. As much as you did all those lovely things for him, he has always been in love with his wife.
Yeah its harsh but move on and dont call or see him ever again. His wife will not change hers ways and he will come back grovelli... (read in full...)
Betrayed! He lied about his age and said he had no children. I was infatuated with him. Should I tell him I know he lied?
Q. I need help and opinions. Keep in mind I know how reckless I have been with my own heart and I don't need you to tell me that... I am 19 years old. I met a man at work I was completely infatuated with and I gave him my number. He ended up calli...
A. 7 February 2013: I would send him a message that you are nothing but a liar and a person who uses woman. You also have a young daughter imagine how you would feel if someone treated your daughter the way you treated me. I am also someone's daughter.
After... (read in full...)
I'm really disappointed in myself. How can I motivate myself?
Q. So lately i have been feeling like a nobody. I dont have a job, i dropped out of school back in 2008, havent been able to get my g.e.d and have been a house wife ever since my son was born in 2009. Ive had two jobs between 2009 thru now but didnt ...
A. 7 February 2013: Hi, Try going back to school and educating yourself. Dont think we I am old because you are not and others have done it. I have a sister in law at 30 who decided to finish school and become a teached which she achieved. So do something about it... (read in full...)
Is there a chance that my ex and I can rekindle our relationship?
Q. I am in love with a guy that I left 8 years ago today we talked on he phone and then feelings started coming back between the both of us.I really care for him I want to make things happen with him but there are some issues and boundaries that we ...
A. 6 February 2013: Its entirely up to you and how desperately you want this relationship.
I am in support of giving a relationship a second chance as I believe that is what causes people to be unfaithful. Rather be would the person you love even if its a second a... (read in full...)
I cheated on my girlfriend but don't feel guilty. What should I do now?
Q. Ive been dating my gf for over 3 years now, and Ive been extremely faithful this whole time without ever being tempted until now. The last 2 years though have been rough, I havent been excited to see her, or genuinely been as happy as I was the ...
A. 6 February 2013: Your relationship has run it course. You need to set her free and move on.... (read in full...)
Ten years with a man only to be cheated on then left for her, so why cant I move on??
Q. Well, I am 26 years of age and about 1 year ago I got out of a 10 year relationship. He left me for another woman! He had also been sleeping with her for a month or who knows how much longer before we actually broke up. I spent my life loving this ...
A. 1 February 2013: Hi, You lost your first love and its not easy. You will love and trust again. You just maybe pushing yourself too card to move on to someone else for the wrongs reasons, therefore not letting yourself actually feel something before sleeping with ... (read in full...)
Why does he he feel guilty?
Q. My boyfriend is separated and has been having a hard time getting his ex to give him all of his things. He received a text last night from her saying he could go get his stuff. He said he would be back in a little while but before he left he said," ...
A. 29 January 2013: Hi, he may have unresoved feelings for his ex and knowing that he felt guilty going to her house - like cheating on you. Remember they were married and shared a life, yes it ended but you dont forget the history you shared. It just may be a passing ... (read in full...)
Got dumped by BBM and then he deleted me as a contact as soon as I read it
Q. If you are familiar with BBM you will know that someone knows when their message has been delivered and then eventually read. Today I got dumped by BBM and then as soon as he saw that I had read the message, he deleted me! What a coward!! Duh... I ...
A. 29 January 2013: Hi, Dont contact him again and even if he emails you ignore him. He has no respect for you and after giving him a second chance he still treats you badly. I suspect you were a fall back plan and as soon as he got someone else he bolted through the ... (read in full...)
Who could care and have feelings for 3 year affair?
Q. Is it easy for a man to have a 3yr sex fling with a woman and care nothing for her? My husband has been sleeping with this hoe for 3yrs.I know its only sex. She now has feelings for him but he cares nothing for her. She can't get that through her ...
A. 25 January 2013: He loves her as sex becomes routine and comfortable.
I am not saying he does not love you, its just that he has best of both worlds. There must be something missing in the marriage that he finds it with her.
Also why do you put up with it? I th... (read in full...)
I'm almost sure b/f cheated but he's saying I did and gave him a STD!
Q. So I'll try to make this short, I have been dating this guy for about a year and a half and we have had a tough time, there hasn't been any cheating as far as I know, except the one time about six months ago I caught him exchanging naked pics with ...
A. 24 January 2013: Why are you still with him and why are you even considering getting back. He is unfaithful and a liar. Do you want to wait around till he gives you a disease that is a death sentence. You have your answer, he does not want to take a lie detector ... (read in full...)
My bf always talks about his married female boss
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 3 years always talks about his boss (female, 3 yrs older ho him) even in bed. I feel this totally irritating, told him lot of times not to talk to her when he is in bed with me, he says ok, but always switches the topic back t...
A. 24 January 2013: You need to get rid of this BF. Why do you let him insult u and in the same breath show admiration for another woman.
This sounds like an emmotional affair. You cannot trust your heart with the BF, I recommend you start packing or if its your pla... (read in full...)
He knows I've had a tubal ligation. Yes I've put on a little weight. But does he need to keep on asking me if I'm pregnant?
Q. My SO keeps asking.me.if im pregnant? ive had tubal ligation done 6 years ago after having my one and only daughter who he claim has his ... hes never been married or has had a baby or has never really thought about having a baby until i came alo...
A. 24 January 2013: I suspect he is hoping you are pregnant or get pregnant. Its time to have a talk with him and understand what he wants.... (read in full...)
I can't commit to someone else because I'm in love with a married man
Q. I have been in contact with a married man with two older children since 2009 . We chatted for about 6 months before i let him in my life. We got serious and within 3 weeks his wife found out . He called if off. I was gutted , he would avoid me at ...
A. 24 January 2013: He is not emmotionally involved with you , hence ignoring any explanations. You are just sex. He will drop u as soon as his wife gets suspicious.
What I dont understand is why u let him do this to you. Where is your pride and self respect.... (read in full...)
I want to get married but my partner's been married twice before and doesn't think he wants to marry me!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for going on 2 years. He recently told me that he loved me but wasn't in love with me. But he wanted to be. He said that he wanted to work on things. He stayed. Now he says that he loves me. And he is glad that he ...
A. 24 January 2013: Hi, you know you want to be married, you also know that he is not interested in a committement, so why you still him. Don't see nor expect things that are not there. As far as your BF is concerned, he has been honest - not interested in marriage... (read in full...)
Should we move fiance's disabled sister in with us? She isn't being treated right at her home
Q. I'm wondering if I should move my fiance's disabled sister in with us. She is very sweet and respectful and high-functioning (considering her multiple disabilities, and she currently lives on her own. My fiance and I drive her to places she needs to ...
A. 23 January 2013: I must admit I admire you for this. However , this is not a short term situation and you will have to be completely committed, also if her condition deteriorates, can you manage?
Its a responsibility with all best intentions but its your ability ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had me charged for a crime when she was the one who has been abusive
Q. My life is in such a mess! I was with my girlfriend for about two years. Anyway, after a few months I caught her cheating. But I took her back. Then I caught her cheating again and I took her back. She then started to raise her hands to me abou...
A. 23 January 2013: You need to distant yourself from this toxic woman and never contact her again. You made ths mistake of taking her back after a number of affairs.
Press charges and ask for her to keep her distance , not and you have to move on in life without ... (read in full...)
I wish I didn't have feelings for him
Q. I need help. What do you think is the best solution for two people who can't let go of one another, yet what drove them apart in the first place is a fundamental issue of principle. Neither one of us has been able to move along with our lives for ...
A. 23 January 2013: Information very vague, but I can identify with loving someone that was not good for you and there was always that pull, we could never let go one another, everytime we broke up, we would get together, this went on for years. I have seen a ... (read in full...)
Married to a man 20 years older than I
Q. This is a letter I am sending to my husband.. I have no idea how he is going to respond.. So if your a guy.. Please feel free to reply.. That way I can prepare myself.. For whatever transpires. Thanks "Since I spoke to you about us.. You m...
A. 23 January 2013: Hi, I would not send him the letter. It seems the relationship has a number of issues and including the lack of physical interest by your partner.
I am curious , do you think he has someone else? No kisses , no sex, no communication, no interest... (read in full...)
| *ugarplum786's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ugarplum786 has
added them and they have added *ugarplum786!
|
