A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it ok to just express yourself on this site?I am feeling the lowest since last night. I cried till 4 am but I still don't think I cried enough. I really thought I am slowly getting over my ex who I broke up with 3 months ago but realized last night I am still as as heartbroken as I ever was. I tried my best to forget him, everyone thinks I have moved on. But every single night before I sleep and every waking hour, he is still on my mind.What makes me hurt so much is the fact that I can't believe he has left me. A month before we broke up, I learned he was seeing another girl. I let him choose and it took him so hard to decide and he told me he was confused who to choose. But he loves the other girl too. I was with him for a year and basically saw him on a daily basis. With this other girl, he knew her for 5 months and saw her once a month as it is a LDR. Apparently, he was infatuated with her as he spent just a little time to be with her and wanted to spend more time with her. But with me, he was exhausted like his duty to see me became something of a routine. And yet he said I mean everything to him.He was infatuated with her but he loves me.I led him to choose her and we broke up. After 2 months we went back to communicating once a week until he told me he ended things with her. He said it was a very bad ending they had. Losing her and without me in his life, he became severely depressed. He insisted to see me and when we did he apologized and told me he missed me terribly. I know he was very sincere as I would know if he was lying or not. He wanted to know if there is someone new in my life but I said I was beginning to see someone. I lied. The truth is that I dumped my suitors. I was kinda indifferent to him during that meeting.The next day, I pressured him to decide if he wants me back or not so I can move on with my life and he became very angry. He said that I am pressuring him and he is still emotionally unstable. And if I wanted a quick answer HE SAID NO. He had been through a lot and is still hurting to discuss things with me. He has other problems like financially and in his family. He wanted me to leave him alone for the moment. And with that I said to him I will leave him finally and I will never look back.Yet till now, it hurts me to remember everything that is related to him. I forgive him for having cheated on me before as I proved in the end that their relationship would not last. I don't know why, deep in my heart I still want him back. Although I have told him I will let him go. There is some little hope in me that he might reconsider me again. If I based it on how he responded, he was not rude and didn't ignore my pleas but he explained his side. On the other hand, I also wonder...why does he have to dump me again if he still has feelings for me? Is he scared of something? Does he really need time to decide or does he want to be emotionally stable first to be ready for me again?I want more answers but surely I won't contact him again. I need another way to make him realize. I know letting him go and not hoping for another chance is the best answer? But there is nothing in the world now I want but him. This is the reason why I cried, I really want him back but don't know how to.
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broke up, cheated on me, depressed, heartbroken, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): i still love him what must i do to get him back
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (25 July 2009):
 your grieving because you loved him alot.
there is no easy way out of this.
the tears will flow because your heart is still hurting.
he was not a good guy because he cheated on you.
you need to see him for what he was, a loser.
this grieving will take alot of time, surround yourself with friends, you have to be honest with them to some extent because you need their support and encouragement.
try not contacting him from now and vow to start a fresh chapter.
you deserve so much better.
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