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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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Does manipulation give a sense of empowerment?
Q. Okay, well. Today I was on IM chat (MSN) with my girlfriend. I had just got back from work and had only spoken to her once, for 2-3 minutes, that WHOLE day. On IM, I was laughing and sharing demotivational pictures and enjoying myself whi...
A. 13 November 2010: Ha be prepared for this in the future...women do this. You're taking it wrong, it wasn't any sort of manipulation tactic or her expecting you to read her mind. She was ANNOYED at the fact that you had hardly spoken to her all day and then during ... (read in full...)
The other shoe finally dropped.
Q. OK, so the other shoe has finally dropped in my relationship. She wanted to call it quits. Give me my keys and get your stuff. I came, got my things quietly, and she barely mumbled a word. I asked what is going on and all she says is "I dont know,...
A. 11 November 2010: Well of course you're going to be a knucklehead, you obviously still love the girl! But honestly...the chick has problems and they are not what you can fix. She has her own issues and she obviously needs to work through them and apparently she ... (read in full...)
He was a perfect gentleman until we had sex!
Q. I thought I had been dating this man. we met at a night club, and we kept catching eachtother's eye, so as I was leaving with my friends, he grabbed me by my waist, we chatted for a while, then he gave me his number. I called him about a couple of ...
A. 11 November 2010: What he wants from you: a bed buddy. Unfortunately, some guys do this. In other words, he likes you as a "friend" and will have sex with you, but he won't make any sort of committment to you. Don't expect anything from him, especially anything ... (read in full...)
I agreed to an abortion but now I'm second guessing it!
Q. I'm 9 weeks pregnant with my 3 child which was unplanned. My partner who I've been with for 16 years wants me to terminate the pregnancy, I said I would, but am now not sure if I can go through with it. What should I do? ...
A. 11 November 2010: Well have you ever had an abortion before? Ultimately, yes, it's completely up to you. It's easy for him to say "go have an abortion" because he's not truly in the situation. Sorry, but men will never get it, even though they think they do, they ... (read in full...)
Did I come across as trying to cheat on my husband?
Q. i am married and have great relationship with my husband.Few weeks back i met three people at a party and two of them were husband and wife and one was single guy who flirted with me throughout the night and i flirted back a little but it was all ...
A. 11 November 2010: It sounds pretty shady to me. I think you like the attention you were getting from him and you admit that you were attracted to him. I don't think you texted him because you just wanted to "hang out" as buddies and although you may not have had ... (read in full...)
Would anyone else see this as nosey?
Q. so i had to go with my parents to visit neighbors because they invited us..i am in my mid twenties and pretty much come to the conclusion i don't like them because most of them in the family are very stuck up and judgemental. We went to be nice more ...
A. 8 November 2010: You seriously got angry at this? I guess maybe it's the people and you think you already know how they are, but it sounds like he's just making conversation with you. Usually it's called being "nice" and trying to act like they care about your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's behavior has turned me into a clingy, obsessed person. I hate that!
Q. My boyfriend messed me around for a year, flirting with girls, metting up with his ex in secret. We talked it through and we're still going out, but it has turned me into a clingy, obsessed and overthoughtful person. And I HATE that. I hate what I ...
A. 1 November 2010: SillyB is right...the problem isn't what he "made" you, you stay with him and that's why you are the way you are.
I know that's not the answer you're looking for, but you can't change him. The only person you can change is yourself and I think ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friend I like her boyfriend?
Q. Ok, so heres the deal. I'm pretty sure I am falling for one of my speech and debate team mates. I am a jr. in high school hes a senior. My car is broken down so after practices hes giving me a ride home (twice a week). There is only one problem, he ...
A. 29 October 2010: 1. No, you don't tell your "friend" that you like their boyfriend. If you were a real friend, you wouldn't do such a thing. 2. Yes, he's probably flirting. Boys flirt, girls flirt. It happens. 3. You don't accidentally steal someone! ... (read in full...)
British reserve getting in the way of approaching an American girl
Q. I am a college student who has come from the UK to America, and I just don't know what to do romantically. I am rather shy, and anhedonic, so I have difficulty just relaxing and having fun with women. There is one girl I really like who's really ...
A. 26 October 2010: Well I think you're so shy because of your confidence. Honestly, I'm not a big flirt and that's mainly because I don't want to put it out there or make someone uncomfortable by flirting with them if it isn't welcomed. But you have an advantage ... (read in full...)
I need sex asap! Sleep with a prostitute?
Q. Sorry for the long question, I need to set the background. And I really need help (I thought about going to a shrink, but I can't afford it). I'm a foreign PhD in the US. My English language is good but not great. I go along pretty well. I e...
A. 25 October 2010: I would say no...unless you go to Vegas and get a legit prostitute which is gonna cost you some money...in the hundreds at least. Prostitution is very illegal and if you go and try to pick some hooker up on the street, chances are she'll be missing ... (read in full...)
I took his money as a joke and he called me a thief and dumped me!
Q. My problem is this: My bf and I were fighting lately and that night we were also arguing for silly stuffs. I regret for all my actions while I was drunk and I did things that I shouldnt do for example, that night, my bf and his brothers were pla...
A. 25 October 2010: I kind of don't get how it was supposed to "scare" him or teach him a lesson. I've heard of someone using "it was a joke" when they took someone's money before, and trust me, the person whose money was taken didn't find it funny. You're 26-29...it ... (read in full...)
I'm 22 and feel I'm getting old. When do people usually find "the one"?
Q. hi guys, I'm worried that i wont find the right guy. I'm nearly 22 and i feel like my dating life is nearly over. I would probably like to be settled down by 25 and marrying/kids about 30. Ive got a guy in my life, but he tends to invalidate an...
A. 23 October 2010: Seriously put a sock in it and STOP feeling this way right now, this very second. You're 22!!! You're in your prime! You should be having fun, not worrying about who is going to be your hubby and father of your children! Feeling old?! I'm 26 ... (read in full...)
How do I prove I didn't have sex when I woke up naked next to her?
Q. How do I prove I didn't have sex with this girl when I woke up naked next to her. I can't remember anything from the night before or the morning. the only thing I do remember is mid afternoon....
A. 22 October 2010: Seriously...you woke up naked next to a girl and you don't remember anything. Hmmmm, just because you don't remember anything doesn't mean that nothing happened. What happened? Did you drink too much or did this girl slip you a roofie or ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend suddenly ignoring me?
Q. my boyfriend is very trustworthy and our relation is for 3 years. but now-a-days i feel that he is ignoring me, not talking with me like previous. i am not understanding his problem. i asked him several times but he is avoiding my question.is he ...
A. 21 October 2010: He's losing interest...there's no way to prove his loyalty. Either play his game and ignore him back or just dump him.... (read in full...)
I told my girlfriend I cheated on her, but wasn't completely honest about what happened. What should I do?
Q. so I am 18 and in college and my girlfriend who i care about very much is 17 and still in high school. about two months ago I made a horrible mistake and cheated on her with another girl. I kissed her and got a hand job from her. I called my girl ...
A. 21 October 2010: Well I could go with you made your bed and you're gonna have to lie in it. But, I don't think you should tell her. She knows you cheated, she doesn't need to know details. She's naive so I'm sure she believes what you said and that it was just ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he loves me, yet is putting out personal ads on craiglist
Q. I have been going out with my bf now for 1yr and a half. We moved to a different state together and are living together.He "says" he loves me and am the only one for him and he wanted to get married and have kids. Then i found out a couple months ...
A. 18 October 2010: Why in the world would you trust him? Would you expected to be trusted if you were putting out ads for guys and trying to meet up with some guy on facebook? Probably not. He's obviously up to no good, he's not putting up ads or writing other ... (read in full...)
Conference Call During Dinner Date Bad, or Wife Overreacting?
Q. What's the word out there on a husband who suggests an early dinner to his wife. ; she says she's not very hungry but will keep him company and enjoy a glass of wine. Food is ordered and husband announces he is expecting a phone call. Turns ou...
A. 18 October 2010: I don't think you're being overly sensitive. I know it's probably easy for a lot of people to say "just leave him"...I'm not married so it would be easy for me to say that, but from others I know that are married and especially if they have ... (read in full...)
Conference Call During Dinner Date Bad, or Wife Overreacting?
Q. What's the word out there on a husband who suggests an early dinner to his wife. ; she says she's not very hungry but will keep him company and enjoy a glass of wine. Food is ordered and husband announces he is expecting a phone call. Turns ou...
A. 16 October 2010: Acting the way that you describe, I gather that he does this frequently? I could see if he was always putting work ahead of "together time" or something like that, then that's a reasonable (but still a little bit of a dramatic) response. I can ... (read in full...)
I need some advice for online dating.
Q. I'm interested in online dating, and want some advice as to how to go about it. Frankly, I am a novice to dating in general and would like some advice. Also, please don't post answers saying NOT to do online dating. ...
A. 14 October 2010: I've tried it before and it's okay. You pretty much have to go about it any other way that you would date, you just meet a different way. I would say, don't cling. One dude was texting me all freakin' day about what he was doing or how much his ... (read in full...)
Why would she not want her boyfriend to meet her ex?
Q. I was wondering why would a girl not want her boy friend to meet her ex boy friend. I know it can be because it will be awkward,but if they have been with each other for about a year and she still thinks it would be and just does not want them to ...
A. 14 October 2010: I think you're thinking way too much into this. Would most people want their current boyfriend/girlfriend to meet their ex? Probably not. Besides being awkward maybe she just doesn't want to see him? Or she just flat out doesn't want them to ... (read in full...)
We had sex, he came in me, and I tried to wash it out. Will that work?
Q. hey i need help well my boyfriend cum in me and i dnt know what to do, im really scard . it happen today and i when in bath and whased it out, well i tryed, so wat i do. xx...
A. 13 October 2010: Hurry and try to finish your education and work on your spelling before your baby comes.... (read in full...)
I'm terrified my parents will find out I am dating
Q. I have a boyfriend at the current time, my parents believe that I shouldn't be dating until I'm 16, now I'm not gonna say that "he's the one" or "you guys just don't understand" because honestly I have no clue whatsoever on what love is or who "...
A. 1 October 2010: Well they might end up finding out eventually. As secretive as you may possibly be, parents usually know when you're up to something. Believe me, my parents were the same way, and once they found out it actually ended up not being as terrible as I ... (read in full...)
She's lying.. right?
Q. Ok I met this girl who's 16 she claimed she has had sex with 7 girls, but I can fit 3 fingers in her and 4 which she says hurts so I don't bother. To me this sounds like she's lying as everybody lies about how many people they sleep with. ...
A. 22 September 2010: She's had "sex" with 7 girls??? You're aware they don't have penises right? Quit trying to stick so many fingers up the poor girl and having sex with x-amount of people doesn't cause you to become "loose." ... (read in full...)
15 year old guy and 27 year old man, what to do?
Q. Hey, I have a really bad problem. I'm a 15 almost 16 year old guy and I'm in love with another 27 year old guy. I met him when I was on holiday and we became really good friends but on my last day he just kissed me and I never thought I was gay befo...
A. 19 September 2010: The other posters gave you some good advice as to what you should do. I can see why you're very confused, but I definitely agree that this guy is a pediphile and knows that you're young so it's easy for him to try to pursuade you into what he wants ... (read in full...)
Wife cheating on me and planning on leaving me. How do I get over this?
Q. Recently I found out that my wife is cheating on me with some other guy. Though, I think they have not slept yet but she is madly in love with him. We have been married for almost 15 yrs now and have kids. Our marriage has not been the best in ...
A. 18 September 2010: NO! Don't pay her fees anymore! My parents are divorcing right now (married 27 years) and my mother expects my father to keep paying for everything even though she's completely kicked him out of the house and says awful things to him (he doesn't ... (read in full...)
My husband's sister may be abusing her kids -- and she's writing a book on parenting!
Q. I married my husband even though I don't approve of his family situation. The biggest problem I have is his sister and her family. She smoked pot and drank alcohol while she was pregnant with all three of her children. These kids are all under the ...
A. 18 September 2010: Time to call CPS? If these kids look like they've obviously been beaten and they're around drugs, it's only bound to lead them down the wrong path being in a dysfunctional family like that. Yes, I think you should spend as much time with them as ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me his ex is better in bed. Should I leave him?
Q. I have been dating this great wonderful guy for close to 8 months now. I'm attractive, intelligent and well liked. I have never been single or had problems getting dates. I am far from promiscous as my total number of guys I have slept with is 4 (I ...
A. 18 September 2010: Well you asked him, so that means you had to be prepared for what you didn't want to hear. Should he have been that honest? Probably not. Not that I'm saying any relationship should consist of lies, but to spare the other partner's feelings, one ... (read in full...)
Seeing a married man ....
Q. I have been dating a married man for six months. At first, I didn't think that is was going to stick and I was just lonely and looking for friendship. He was very charming and over time I fell into his trap. I feel that I am doing the wrong thing ...
A. 18 September 2010: They never plan on leaving their wife...you know that. Quit wasting your time. You just fill that spot where his wife isn't. Get over it and get some confidence.... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to have my online bf move in with me?
Q. I met my bf online January of this year. We talked for a while and he finally asked if i was willing to have a long distance relationship with him at the end of June. I want him to move in with me and he wants to move in with me as well. The thing ...
A. 16 September 2010: I think you should be in your "relationship" in (sorry don't have a better choice of words)real life before you move him in. If you've been in a long-distance relationship for 10 months it's totally different than actually not being in one. Of ... (read in full...)
Gay guy with a crush on a confused guy
Q. Ok, I know... I am CREEP I'm a WEIRD-Oooo I don't belong here. I am 49 years old now, and I grew up on a Mission Field. I a 'missionary kid' but I'm a gay, male and I have a crush on a married male who is confused, I'd say, about their ...
A. 16 September 2010: If you were Jesus I'd wonder why you wouldn't have an answer to this? And I always strangely assumed you were straight.
If he wants to see Jesus through you, I think he should smoke whatever you've been smoking.
But if your question is at a... (read in full...)
Hookup for two years, but he hasn't asked me to be his g/f
Q. This guy and I have been hooking up for about 2 years now. Im falling in love with him and he tells me that he loves me but he hasnt asked me to be his girlfriend. This leads me to believe that hes just using me for hook ups and that hes keeping his ...
A. 16 September 2010: Two years and he's still not your boyfriend...yes, he's using you. Yes, give up and move on. Waiting any longer will just be more waisted years of your life. ... (read in full...)
Daughter is having an affair/baby with a married man...
Q. Hello. My 24 year old daughter is having an affair with a 30 year old married man. It has been going on, correspondence/physical since the end of 2008. Before he was deployed to Iraq, she got pregnant and soon will be giving birth to his son. She ...
A. 16 September 2010: Even if you don't approve of her behavior/choices, you still have to support her. If you get upset and let her know you're disappointed in her, she's only going to want to be away from you. I agree that what she did wasn't very smart and she's ... (read in full...)
12 year old boy caught "in the act"
Q. hi, im a single father and i have a question is it ok is my 12 year old son jacks off. I caught him in"the act" yesterday.i need help please help me....
A. 16 September 2010: Yeah, he's probably been "jacking off" already for at least 3-years. It's not a big deal and I think bringing it up will embarrass him. My parents never really talked about sex with me...just gave me a general answer and I don't feel like I missed ... (read in full...)
I haven't had my period for almost a year
Q. hey i'm a 14 year old virgin and it has been 2 years since i had my first period. The last time i remember having it was in october or november or 2009. i don't have any money or health insurance to go see a gyneacologist but i wonder if my symptons ...
A. 11 September 2010: Is it at all possible that you could have broken your hymenn and you thought you got your period? Or did you have regular periods before then? It's definitely not normal to not have your period for almost a year.
Like other posters have sai... (read in full...)
Tough being a teen mom with dreams!
Q. Anyways, I was always the type of girl to get straight A's in school. I worked really hard throughout high school and graduated with high honors of 4.0 with the thought that i would go to college and be successful. Turns out i got pregnant, i ...
A. 11 September 2010: Definitely don't get down on yourself. The best thing you have going for yourself is what you said yourself: you know you have the potential. Everyone actually has potential, it's whether or not they pursue what they want or not. Like Llindy87 ... (read in full...)
Why did he leave me for his ex wife?
Q. My boyfriend left me for his "stupid" ex-wife. I was seeing this man for 2 months. We met online and hit it off. He is 43, a respiratory therapist, works nights, makes 75k, and divorce with 2 kids (female 19/12). Everything was great. We never ...
A. 7 September 2010: Sounds like if I had been married to him I'd be a crazy bitch too! Look, a lot guys will lie to their knew partner about how crazy their ex is and how awful and evil she is. Even if you claim to "know" after 2-months, you really don't.
The g... (read in full...)
How do I come across as being more gay?
Q. Ok this is going to sound weird. I'm gay. Unfortunately I just learned that i don't come across as such at all. One kid had to finally ask me. So my question is, how do I come across "gayer" I know it sounds insane, but I'd rather not hide i...
A. 7 September 2010: That really doesn't make sense to me...and again this could be because I'm not gay. But I think the way men show that they're gay is by acting more feminine/flamboyant or whatnot. I don't know how else you can come accross as more gay other than ... (read in full...)
Could taking plan b caused my late period?
Q. Hi i have a question me and my boyfriend had sex last month and it wasnt planned so we didnt use anything even though he didnt cum inside of me and i washed my slef right away i decided to take plan B on the third day i got my period a couple of ...
A. 6 September 2010: Well if I'm understanding your dates correctly...you had sex a month ago, took PlanB 3 days later, then two weeks after than you went for your checkup and pregnancy test was negative. So if you don't get your Sept. period, then that will be 2 ... (read in full...)
My sister is being betrayed by her husband and our other sister!
Q. I have got two older sisters and both are married. The husband of the older sister starts to flirts with the younger sister all the time. My older sister suspects they are having an affair behind her back. She talks to her husband and the younger ...
A. 6 September 2010: I think the only thing you can do is try to be there for your older sister. The last thing you want to do is try to get involved. You don't know EXACTLY what is going on in any of their marriages or if anything is going on. Although, I think most ... (read in full...)
Do you think my body type will attract guys?
Q. im a little fat.... but im shapely and i have a close to flat tummy and 40 C boobs. i am worried everyone will just think im a fat lard lol. my middle skewl friends say thee are alot of REALLY fat people. im starting middle school tommorow and im ...
A. 6 September 2010: Everyone has different likes and dislikes. If you're on the thicker side, some guys like that and some guys don't. What matters is if you like yourself. If you don't like yourself or the way your body looks, you can change it. If you're happy ... (read in full...)
When someone says they are thinking of you, opinions please!
Q. When someone says they are or have been thinking of you is it considered: 1) friendly 2) relationship material or 3) quit making a big deal of it? I don't want to go into details in my case, I want to see other people's opinions and their...
A. 6 September 2010: D. All of the above! It just depends on the situation and person. I'll say it to my girlfriends because I haven't seen them in a long time and sometimes I get busy or they're busy, but just want to let them know that I still value their ... (read in full...)
How do I come across as being more gay?
Q. Ok this is going to sound weird. I'm gay. Unfortunately I just learned that i don't come across as such at all. One kid had to finally ask me. So my question is, how do I come across "gayer" I know it sounds insane, but I'd rather not hide i...
A. 6 September 2010: You'd rather not hide it, but acting like you're "gayer" would be hiding who you really are. I'm obviously not gay or a man, so I don't know if other gay men prefer to look for a more flamboyant type of dude or not, but just stay true to yourself. ... (read in full...)
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