Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): Masturbation isn't the problem - lust is. If you let him continue, he'll grow up treating girls as objects to gratify his sexual desires.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): Caught my son doing the same exact thing when he was 12. Once on his bedroom floor, another in my bed where he got it over the sheets. It is normal, and I was masturbating before that myself, so no need to panic. It is his natural way of exploring his sexuality and changing body. Like C. Grant says...make it an opportunity. I didn't want him to feel embarrassed by me walking in, so I told him it's OK, just lock the door or tell me he needs privacy. ANd not to do it in my bed...ever. I also took the opportnity to tell him about condoms, and showed him where they were...then I told him I'd kick his ass if he did that anytime soon (JK) :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): can you not remember being that age? the only problem is that you are embarrassed.
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female
reader, sizzling1  +, writes (16 September 2010):
it's perfectly normal..gr8 advice from c.grant..
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): Of course it is okay. I started jacking off at the age of 12 as well. It is just what happens, perfectly natural and nothing to worry about.
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 You have a real opportunity here. You can use this situation to help your son avoid all kinds of nonsense guilt that so many people carry around with them. Tell him that it's normal, it's natural, and that it's a healthy way for him to learn how his body works. And tell him that at the same time it's a very private thing, that he should keep it to himself and not leave evidence around that he's been doing it -- not because it's wrong, but because knowing about such a personal thing bothers other people, that sexuality isn't something you just broadcast to the world.
I'm a bit surprised at this question coming from a father, but perhaps you're carrying around the sort of baggage that I'm hoping you'll spare your son.
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male
reader, der_zyniker  +, writes (16 September 2010):
He didn't do anything wrong. Like what several people said before it's perfectly normal. I'd wait a couple of weeks to have "the talk" with him so it might be less embarassing for him if he doesn't think that you are having the talk because you caught him masturbating.
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male
reader, hamish001 +, writes (16 September 2010):
I agree, my daughter is 12, almost 13 and talking about boys!! TG for the better half, but you've been in his shoes, all fellas have, talk to him!! Half the problem with all this today is that kids see it on tv, and no one explains whats going on with their bodies to them! Talk talk talk!!!
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female
reader, Legioness  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Of course it's ok, most lads discover masterbation at that age- it's puberty!
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Your son is completely normal. He didn't do anything wrong, he's probably embarrassed.
yes, I think that you need to have "the talk" with him.
There's nothing wrong with masturbation as it doesn't cause pregnancy or disease.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): Is he masturbating out in the open or did you catch him in his private space?
You were 12 once too, weren't you? What do YOU think is normal/acceptable/standard?
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (16 September 2010):
Yeah, he's probably been "jacking off" already for at least 3-years. It's not a big deal and I think bringing it up will embarrass him. My parents never really talked about sex with me...just gave me a general answer and I don't feel like I missed out on any sort of birds and the bees talk.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 It's perfectly normal. You should have a talk with him about healthy masturbation habits and "the birds and the bees" so he's knows what's going on down there. Even if you try to forbid it, he's going to do it. Even monkey's masturbate, and it's healthy.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 It's about time you had the masturbation/wet dreams/birds and the bees talk. At what age were you when you first started to tug down there? The usual ages are 9-13.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): Get real, every boy does it. Get used to the idea and give him a little privacy. He'll quit doing it when you quit. It's 100% normal. The only help you need is for yourself, there is nothing wrong with your son.
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female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 yes its totally natural. dont make him feel embarrased about it. also if he has any sexual questions/protection questions this would be a good time to discuss them.
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male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (16 September 2010):
Now why wouldn't it be okay? This isn't the 19th century. We're not under any illusion that it will make you go blind or grow hair on your palms, are we? Fact is, your son probably needs to be reassured that it's normal and okay to masturbate and that he can talk to you about his sexuality if he needs to.
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male
reader, Western3589 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 What exactly is the problem?
If you think its wrong, then you have to tell him why you believe so and be very convincing.
However, its not really such a bad thing in my opinion, as long as he doesn't get "it" everywhere
Just talk with him, that's all a father can really do.
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