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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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She's on birth control, but the condom slipped... Should we be worried?
Q. My fiance and I were having sex yesterday. We used a condom, but when I came, it started to slide off. It had slid almost halfway off by the time I pulled out. We're worried that some may have come out of the top and gotten inside her. She takes ...
A. 23 December 2011: No, if she takes BC everyday like she's supposed to, you shouldn't worry. In very rare cases, some women still conceive. I've always taken BC correctly and have never become pregnant, and that was while not being careful at all.... (read in full...)
What are opinions about male menopause?
Q. I was wondering about your opinion, about male menopause . Some doctors believe it, when man has problems with libido,or getting an erection, it is explained, with this new term. But I have an extreme case of this, if it is true, and my ...
A. 18 December 2011: Could be stress...or are you on medication for high blood pressure?... (read in full...)
I fell asleep while talking to the guy, do I contact him or wait for him to contact me?
Q. I'm terrible at this dating thing. So I gave this guy my number and we spent all last night talking, before I so nicely fell asleep on him (i felt really bad after that.) So this is my stupid question..Do I text him first or wait till he get's in...
A. 18 December 2011: Yeah, text him and apologize for falling asleep. If someone (guy, girl, or whatever) fell asleep on the phone while I was talking to them, I wouldn't go out of my way to call them back.... (read in full...)
My ex didn't wish me a happy birthday and it really hurts me!
Q. Why do I feel so upset about this? am I overreacting? So is my birthday today and my ex boyfriend didn't even wish me a happy birthday. He dumped me saying he didn't want a relationship. But I found out he lied and cheated on me. On ...
A. 18 December 2011: Umm you told him you didn't want to have a friendship with him--so that's probably why he didn't bother to wish you a happy birthday.
I'm assuming you two broke up fairly recently? He didn't have enough respect for you before and cheated on you, ... (read in full...)
I am still sleeping with my Ex but he's grown too friendly with my friend! Shall I tell her the truth?
Q. my good friend and my ex are getting friendly..... and hiding it, i know about and confronted them and they say they are just mates at the moment. my friends tell me that if our friendship is going to get awkward then mates is all they will stay. ...
A. 18 December 2011: I don't know what kind of friends you have...but normally, your friend's ex is off limits.
I think you should drop him and tell your friend that you've still been sleeping with him and drop her too. Then they can go on with their lives and you ... (read in full...)
BF broke up blaming his job and family stress. Can or should I get him back?
Q. My boyfriend and I were doing well for about a year (anniversary would have been Thurs). We had made plans that he intiated for the holidays, had talked about the future, etc. frequently. Last Saturday, after a Christmas party he said he didn't ...
A. 17 December 2011: I would stay away from the "you seem depressed and should get some help" message. Personally, I think you should just give him some space for now, there's no need to start any sort of overwhelming diaglogue with someone who's already overwhelmed. ... (read in full...)
I know I am using her, how do I get out of this?
Q. I'm in a very difficult situation right now. I've been dating a girl now for 3 months, she's more of a rebound gf since I just got out of a long term relationship prior to meeting my new gf. The problem is I don't love her at all. I think she's a ...
A. 17 December 2011: I think you should break up with her sooner than later. She is going to be totally confused when you take her on a date and then break up with her--it's actually kind of mean if you decide to do that. Just do it now and quit leading her on.... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant for 5 seconds of sex, on my period??
Q. Is it possible to get pregnant whilst on your period? seriously!!? i had sex on the 4th day of my period so i was not heavy and my partner didnt even notice, however i had sex without a condom for literally 5 seconds and then i stopped it and said ...
A. 5 December 2011: Highly doubt you're pregnant and you wouldn't be producing milk being 2-weeks pregnant....... (read in full...)
Do you know anyone who has many college degrees, but is working in a job far below his potential???
Q. Hello all, This is a question on career options. I know...I know...this site is mainly dedicated to relationships/love/sex questions. But I am posting a career question here as my experience with this site has been good so far and I get the most s...
A. 4 December 2011: I think of it this way: experience is what counts and having a degree is an extra unless it's very particular--like an engineer. People can blame the economy but if you have no job experience, you're going to be put in an entry level position.
... (read in full...)
Tired of his games but don't want to let him go
Q. I,m sick of my man playing stupid games with me but I love him too much to let him go. He flirts with other girls, and it only suits him when we meet. One of my friends suggested I get my own back. He said that I should Ban Sex, ignore him at times ...
A. 26 November 2011: None of that stuff worked because he doesn't care. If you refuse to leave him then you enjoy being walked all over because he won't change. Here's a strange idea, instead of playing games you could just...I don't know...talk to him.... (read in full...)
Could use a little advice on what to do after my first date...
Q. So had a really awesome first date with a very pretty girl that I met online last night. Honestly a little out of my league, but I am very into her. I'm just being real here that I am fit, have a great job, witty, confident, etc... but I am balding ...
A. 24 November 2011: Don't worry about the balding thing--you and many other guys are balding, it's pretty common. What made you think she was expecting someone else?
I think it's okay to send her a text saying something like "Happy Thanksgiving." It's a holiday ... (read in full...)
Online dating etiquette...
Q. I am trying my hand at online dating after being newly single and out of an 8 year relationship. I keep getting bombarded with messages from men I am not interested in. If I ignore then they keep messaging me and plus I feel it is better to be ...
A. 18 November 2011: This is a BIG reason why I quit online dating--constantly being bombarded by guys you're not interested in or attracted to and actually feeling bad because they took the time to write you and you feel bad just ignoring them.
Unfor... (read in full...)
I am 14 and my boyfriend is 15 and we both REALLY want a baby!
Q. I am 14 and my boyfriend is 15 and we both REALLY want a baby!!! What do we do?!?! We talk about getting married and having kids all the time!! What do I do? P.S. We haven't had sex if that's what you are thinking.....
A. 14 November 2011: If you have to ask this, then you should not have a child. ... (read in full...)
Duped Wife? Or not?
Q. I am married for a little under 4 years. I found out my husband has cheated on me from the beginning. He is one of these people who find it easier to "blame" me rather than to take any responsibility other than "I'm sick" routine. Although he ...
A. 14 November 2011: No! You're definitely not devious for not disclosing your plans to him. The marriage is basically over so now you're just preparing for what you need to do to move on with your life--nothing wrong with that. You're nice enough already not having ... (read in full...)
He's really slow at taking the hint
Q. Ok I'll get right to it! My boyfriend is the shy, quiet, reserved, sweet, tall, mysterious, handsome type of guy. We've been good friends for a year and started *officially dating a month ago. Thing is I'm his first girlfriend and he knows I've had ...
A. 14 November 2011: Instead of hinting you need to have a conversation with him. It's better that you learn sooner or later, that men especially don't take hints--you need to tell them.
Tell him what's on your mind and what you told us. You understand that he'... (read in full...)
Did he tell anyone?
Q. I have Asperger Syndrome and after a current relationship I was in ended. I decided to disclose via letter by email. Now I am concerned or not if has told anyone else and how can i findout?...
A. 14 November 2011: You're afraid he told someone you have Asperger's? He may or may not have--but it's really NOT a big deal. If that is what you disclosed to him in your email, just to make yourself feel better, write him again and explain that what you wrote to ... (read in full...)
Is being loud a bad thing?
Q. Is there a problem with being too loud during sex? My boyfriend and I don't have sex like we used to because he said I'm too loud and his roomates are home and we all live together. ...
A. 14 November 2011: Well it usually makes everyone in the house uncomfortable and probably leads to them teasing him about it--which they are probably disrespecting you in a way if they're making fun of him about it.
I had a roommate who started dating a guy and ... (read in full...)
Why didn't my ex wish me a "Happy Birthday!" this year?
Q. my birtday was yesterday and one of my good friends (he is also one of my exes and half a month ago it seemed like he would like me more) didn't send me birthday wishes. I don't think he forgot it because we know each other for 3 years and he was ...
A. 13 November 2011: Don't worry about it, have fun at your party, and don't invite him.... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend still causing issues 16 months later
Q. I have had a boyfriend for 16 months and it had a rocky start (never having had "i love you" from parents, grandparents, siblings or past boyfriend). His ex-boyfriend from 2 years ago has non-stop been a real pain in the @$$. Constantly texting ...
A. 13 November 2011: Your boyfriend should document every time he calls/texts whatever it may be--he needs to make clear in his phone calls/texts that he does not want him to contact him anymore and to leave him alone.
Unfortunately, I don't think you can even get... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cheated three times, is that reason to dump him?
Q. Hi there. I've gotten together with this guy about 2 weeks ago after we had been dating for 3 months. I found out he's cheating on me just three days after we got together and yet he's done it 3 times already. I'm really confused since he seems t...
A. 13 November 2011: Yes, dump him!!!!... (read in full...)
He doesn't care and he ignores me now!
Q. hey guys ,i'm in a relationship with a boy about 2weeks, we met 2 times , and they was a terrible dates, cuz he was always late , he is handsome and cute but at the same time so arrogant i really like him so much , i talk with him and i told him ...
A. 13 November 2011: Tell him to get lost and find someone else...why would you want to be with someone like that?... (read in full...)
Before I consult a doctor I'd like feedback from other women about 'the pill'
Q. Hey guys! Any advice will be much appreciated! I'm a little worried. Just as a note, I know I should ultimately consult my doctor, but I would really like other women's advice and experience. I have no one to ask or talk to. I started new birt...
A. 11 November 2011: Honestly, the first part you tried to explain about when you started your pill--way too hard to follow and I'm really not even sure if it's relevant. But you might want to try to explain again when you took your pill. There are usually only two ... (read in full...)
Considering 2 guys for a FWB relationship but should I consider either of them?
Q. About 8 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me. It was really hard on me because i was really in love with him. It took me months to get over it. Now Im finally getting my life back and I feel really good. But I'm starting to miss having someone ...
A. 9 November 2011: FWB is meaningless sex, especially with two guys. If you want something more then that's called having a boyfriend.... (read in full...)
Considering 2 guys for a FWB relationship but should I consider either of them?
Q. About 8 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me. It was really hard on me because i was really in love with him. It took me months to get over it. Now Im finally getting my life back and I feel really good. But I'm starting to miss having someone ...
A. 8 November 2011: Been there for sure. Honestly, they suck but at the same time when one isn't giving you the attention you want then you can fall back on the other one. BUT in the end you'll want the full attention of someone and they may not feel the same way. ... (read in full...)
Change a bad boyfriend?
Q. i dont know how to make my boyfriend change! we have been dating for a year now and...well he cheated on me like 9 months into it and i forgave him because of the situation its a long story. but my current problem is he doesn't treat me well and i ...
A. 6 November 2011: Rule#1, you can't change your boyfriend.
His friends may have some influence on him but when it all comes down to it he CHOOSES to hang out with them. They don't force him to drink or to treat you like crap when they are around. Ever heard of... (read in full...)
I'm 6 weeks pregnant, against abortion and the guy is no longer interested in me and has a girlfriend
Q. 6 wks pregnant and worried about our relationship? Is he done with me now? What should I do? I'm 18 and have been in college mostly interested in singing only interesting thing about college is this guy I'm highly attracted to. We had hooked up...
A. 3 November 2011: Yes, you should tell him. Actually, you need to tell him, he has a right to know.
Just because you're pregnant with his child doesn't mean that he'll become interested in you. There's no way to make him interested if he's just not.
My gues... (read in full...)
Does she mean she doesn't want to talk to me anymore?
Q. I met a girl about three weeks ago. I hungout with her two days after we met. Anyways, we talked alot the first week. We were both flirty and I could tell we both liked each other. She slept over the next weekend and we had a good night. The next ...
A. 2 November 2011: She's letting you down as gently as possible. You're right, she doesn't want to talk to you anymore. So just go about your life--definitely don't wait for her; she may or may not ever text you again but don't bother wasting your time on waiting ... (read in full...)
Why am I tolerating boyfriend's gambling?
Q. Hi, I'm trying to figure out why I'm putting up with this. I've been in a relationship for over 3 yrs. and its been mostly about his needs, wants. He gambles, is controlling and spends basically whatever he has on himself or what he wants. We ...
A. 30 October 2011: Maybe it's time to give him an ultimatum--he gets help or you're leaving him. I understand you love him, but you can only take so much. He has a serious problem obviously, so if you do love him, you'll help him seek help.
There's plenty o... (read in full...)
Dating a man a family member used to date?
Q. Am i wrong for falling in love with a guy my aunt use to date while back? we been seeing each other for about 9months but what should i do because i really dont want to go through with it now that our secret is coming out and dont want my family to ...
A. 30 October 2011: Yeah, your aunt will probably be pissed and some family members will probably judge you. Oh well, it's to be expected when you date someone that likes to keep it in the family.... (read in full...)
Would you let him go if he were your Bf? And been together two years.
Q. I'm not sure where to start. First off, I'm sorry if this post turns into a novel…I'll try my best to keep it short and simple. I've been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years Its my boyfriends birthday soon and he wants to go clubbin for h...
A. 30 October 2011: "...guys who are mysterious and who are mentally challengingo..."
Umm, does this have anything to do with the other question asking if girls like guys that are mysterious and mentally challenging? Coinsidence?... (read in full...)
True or false? Are girls attracted to guys who are mysterious and who are mentally challenging?
Q. I have this question about dating in general: I have heard from my guy friends and even read this on a girl's profile on a online dating site, that Girls are attracted to guys who are mysterious and who are mentally challenging. Otherwise if yo...
A. 30 October 2011: For me, at first yes (but everyone kind of is, right?). If they're a never ending mystery, it becomes annoying and I get tired of trying to figure them out if they don't open up...but I'm also an impatient person so I tend to like predictability ... (read in full...)
Mom knows! Isn't she in the wrong for listening to my B/f and I 'dirty talk'on Facebook?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for a while, and we're sexually active. We're both 16, it's legal, I'm on the pill and we use condoms. Until today, neither of us had issues with our parents because we just hadn't told them. Today, my mom saw that ...
A. 30 October 2011: Look, if it wasn't such a big deal like you're making it out to be, don't you think you would have told your mom then?
I do agree that a parent should respect their child's privacy unless they suspect something is going on. Any parent is going to... (read in full...)
Do I wait and see? How do I find out whether or not she is playing hard to get?
Q. I feel I'm inaccurately reading signs she's giving off. I'm not sure whether she is playing hard to get or just isn't as interested as I am in her. How do I go about this? Do I approach her and ask her if she is into me? Do I wait and see how thi...
A. 30 October 2011: You would have to describe what she does that is throwing you off.
Either way, you or she will get tired of waiting if no one makes a move. We know guys play hard-to-get as well, so she could be wondering if you're into her too.
So if y... (read in full...)
Can this happen? My Sex drive is gone, and I'm only 20 years old
Q. I have lost my sex drive completely. I have an amazing fiance of four years, and we never have sex anymore, b/c I don't want too. I'm only 20 years old, and I don't care for it. As of right this very moment, i don't care if i EVER have sex again. At ...
A. 30 October 2011: It's actually quite normal at your age to not care too much for sex. But if sex is disgusting to you like you described, then it could be something else. Otherwise, there is nothing really wrong with you. Plus you're probably comfortable with him ... (read in full...)
Do other think this looks hot on guys? I think shaved legs on men are amazing
Q. I saw a guy at the gym the other day with shaved legs and it looked amazing. He was on the treadmill and I was on the stationary bike, so he didn't see me but I couldn't keep my eyes off of his sexy legs. Is there any other females that like a man ...
A. 30 October 2011: Well I think someone is trolling. But ummm no, if I wanted to date someone who shaves their legs I'd date a woman.... (read in full...)
Does he just want me to help him pay the bills???
Q. dear aunts. I have been with my partner for four years. Three years ago he proposed to me and it was like a dream come true. We had a rough time after that with him losing his home etc. I also suspected cheating although he never admitted it. I had ...
A. 29 October 2011: I totally think you're wasting your time on this guy!
I think you want different things than he does and that will never work. You want to get married, he doesn't. You may want to have more children, he doesn't. I also think he just doesn't ... (read in full...)
IS my girlfriend cheating on me? I need women's advice!
Q. I just want to know if my girlfriend is cheating. we been together for some time but since we both in two different colleges we dont see each other as much but we do txt and talk on the phone. she recently sent me a picture and i noticed her butt is ...
A. 29 October 2011: Your friend is either very ill-informed or he was totally messing with you. A girl will not get a bigger butt because she's been having a lot sex doggy style!
And yes, women can gain weight in just their butt and hips--that's where a lot of women... (read in full...)
Why do I seem to attract military guys?!
Q. What kind of girl is the military guy typically attracted to? Is there a type they usually go after? I ask this because most of the guys (and I do mean the majority) who have been interested in me have been military guys. I dont live anywhere near a ...
A. 24 October 2011: Well I hate to generalize men in the military--after all, they do serve our country and I am grateful to them for that.
However, as far as their love life is concerned. A LOT of the time they're young guys that party too much and want to get as m... (read in full...)
Ladies: How important are a man's looks in a relationship?
Q. Hello. This is not a "problem" as such, but i have a question for the ladies.... TRUTHFULLY, how important are a mans looks in a relationship? I ask this for 2 reasons. Firstly women always say that its personality, kindness, empathy, sense o...
A. 24 October 2011: Everyone is different...there are some women that wouldn't put looks first. BUT you did want honesty, and yes, I tend to be one of those shallow people and will date a man based on his looks. HOWEVER, I dated a very handsome man almost a year ... (read in full...)
When my ex said "I met a nice guy", was that her way of trying to make me jealous? Or does she really want me to leave her alone?
Q. So I recently am going through a break that happened about 2 months ago or so. I was with this girl for about 8 months and I still miss her. The other night I got drunk (yes stupid) and texted her. I guess I just wanted to text her when I was sober ...
A. 24 October 2011: Well judging by the, "Why are you texting me?" comment and the addition of "and I met a nice guy" pretty much means it's over. I think usually if a girl wants to make a guy jealous she'll find a way to contact him and just mention that she met ... (read in full...)
Why do I seem to attract military guys?!
Q. What kind of girl is the military guy typically attracted to? Is there a type they usually go after? I ask this because most of the guys (and I do mean the majority) who have been interested in me have been military guys. I dont live anywhere near a ...
A. 23 October 2011: Well I live near two military bases, Navy and Marine and they tend to like anything with a pulse.... (read in full...)
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