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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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How do I come across as being more gay?
Q. Ok this is going to sound weird. I'm gay. Unfortunately I just learned that i don't come across as such at all. One kid had to finally ask me. So my question is, how do I come across "gayer" I know it sounds insane, but I'd rather not hide i...
A. 7 September 2010: That really doesn't make sense to me...and again this could be because I'm not gay. But I think the way men show that they're gay is by acting more feminine/flamboyant or whatnot. I don't know how else you can come accross as more gay other than ... (read in full...)
When someone says they are thinking of you, opinions please!
Q. When someone says they are or have been thinking of you is it considered: 1) friendly 2) relationship material or 3) quit making a big deal of it? I don't want to go into details in my case, I want to see other people's opinions and their...
A. 6 September 2010: D. All of the above! It just depends on the situation and person. I'll say it to my girlfriends because I haven't seen them in a long time and sometimes I get busy or they're busy, but just want to let them know that I still value their ... (read in full...)
Does my father need time to accept he will be a grand dad?
Q. I am 20 years old. My husband and I been happily married for 1 year now and the other day I found out I am pregnant with our first baby. We told our families and they are so happy and thrilled, except my dad I felt he wasn't very happy. My husband ...
A. 6 September 2010: Your father will probably come around in time. Just give him time to accept it and when your baby comes I'm sure he'll be a VERY proud grandfather. I don't think you should try to force anything on him, just be the same around him as you are with ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to read his text messages?
Q. First off, I know it's wrong to spy on your partners phone records and/or email account, but I have done both. I hacked into the email account and can see text records from phone account, but unfortunately cant read texts. I notice an occasional 4 ...
A. 6 September 2010: I think it's only wrong to do if you have no reason to. As in he hasn't been acting different or there hasn't been anything suspicious you've notice. If you are just breaking into his accounts because you're insecure and need some reassurance, ... (read in full...)
Is there something I can do to make my period happen faster?
Q. I'm 16; and haven't had my period, I'm worried because my boyfriend and i had sex 2 weeks ago and it didn't feel like he pulled up in in time and some of 'it' was inside of me; My period was only meant to come yesterday but i was just wondering if ...
A. 6 September 2010: You are wondering if there's a way you make your period come faster and you would never have an abortion and you probably can't even take care of a child...a better question you should be asking yourself is if you are really responsible enough to be ... (read in full...)
How do I come across as being more gay?
Q. Ok this is going to sound weird. I'm gay. Unfortunately I just learned that i don't come across as such at all. One kid had to finally ask me. So my question is, how do I come across "gayer" I know it sounds insane, but I'd rather not hide i...
A. 6 September 2010: You'd rather not hide it, but acting like you're "gayer" would be hiding who you really are. I'm obviously not gay or a man, so I don't know if other gay men prefer to look for a more flamboyant type of dude or not, but just stay true to yourself. ... (read in full...)
Bi curious, bi sexual... what am I???
Q. Hey my boyfriend thinks i might be bi curious or bi sexual but i dont think i am. So i was wondering how do you know for sure if you are? He thinks i am cause i some times have sexual dreams about girls and i would rather watch girl on girl porn ...
A. 5 September 2010: Your boyfriend doesn't "think" you're bi or bicurious, more like he HOPES. I think it's normal to be curious, I think everyone is at some point in their life; however, if you aren't really into women as in not wanting to have a relationship with ... (read in full...)
How do I lose 11 pounds fast?
Q. I'm 121 pounds and 5' 4 and I would like to lose about 11 pounds. I work out 3-4 times a week for about an hour. I try and eat healthy - ish. Any suggestions?...
A. 4 September 2010: If you want to lose 11 lbs. fast...then there's really not a "healthy" way to do it. It's considered healthy to lose only a few pounds a week, so it would take at least a month to be close and that's if you don't plateau. If you want to really ... (read in full...)
How can I change the start day of my pack so that I have my period during the week instead?
Q. hi, i started my first pack of loestrin 24 this month and i take my brown pill tomorrow. i start on tuesdays which means i get my period fri sat and sun..on the weekends-- which i hate. how can i change the start day of my pack so that i have my ...
A. 3 September 2010: I would ask your doctor--or just call and the nurse can probably tell you if it's okay to switch when you start. Mine always starts one Tuesday or Wednesday and I hate having it during the weekends also :( I'm guessing you do a Sunday start so ... (read in full...)
My b/f posted for men-to-men
Q. Help! My boyfriend of 4 years posted personals Men to Men on Craigslist. I was totally shocked. In addition he semed to know all the lingo and I am totally disgusted by reading it. Appears he is not new at this. I even replied to one of his ...
A. 3 September 2010: Oh wow! Don't feel bad about finding the ad and replying to it. At least that is a sure way to find out what he's up to. Honestly, if you tell him about the incident he's probably going to go with one of a few things: he'll deny it and say it ... (read in full...)
I can't sleep without him, what do I do?
Q. I used to live at my boyfriend's house, but his mom kicked me out, so now I have to live with my mom. We can't sleep without each other, and we want to be with each other, but at the moment, we can't. What can I do?...
A. 3 September 2010: Take a Tylenol PM and call him when you're trying to go to bed. Maybe hearing his voice before you fall asleep will give you some comfort.... (read in full...)
Why do guys run from me?
Q. Okay so I have to know something, its driving me crazy. First of all I'm bi-polar, and I get very hyper, when I'm happy. Well I seem to have a bad habit of freaking guys out! Like they literally run from me, My friends Boyfriends, my guy friends, my ...
A. 2 September 2010: Perhaps you can try checking out some state or federally funded programs (if you're in the states). I've looked into them as my mother has a mental illness and there is one called NAMI, their website is nami.org and they may have something that ... (read in full...)
Why do guys run from me?
Q. Okay so I have to know something, its driving me crazy. First of all I'm bi-polar, and I get very hyper, when I'm happy. Well I seem to have a bad habit of freaking guys out! Like they literally run from me, My friends Boyfriends, my guy friends, my ...
A. 1 September 2010: Well first, I hope you take some sort of medication for your bipolar disorder. And I sincerely don't mean that as an insult, but it may be able to keep you a little more calm. A few people that I know that are bipolar can get really hyper and ... (read in full...)
Who is lying? my girlfriend or my best friend.
Q. i need advice. I have had a close mate for about 6 years now and from what i knew of him he was a extremely genuine guy, all my group of friends seem to think so. I got a new girlfriend recently and her and this friend of mine used to be close fr...
A. 7 August 2010: I think you probably know that your girlfriend is sounding pretty much like a liar. You've known your friend for 6-years and you've only recently started dating her...believe your friend!
It sounds like she's being shady. Perhaps she avoids ... (read in full...)
Help!! I had a party today and i'm:
Q. OP's ownm title: help!! i'm drunk i went to this party and i did a pole dance in front of mans my boyfriend was waiting for me like 2 hours. i haven't told him yet. what to do??...
A. 7 August 2010: Just get back on the pole...hopefully you won't remember it tomorrow.... (read in full...)
Why do guys ask for a number and then never call?
Q. Why would a guy make it a point to get a girl's number and not call? I have been told if a man is interested he will call within a day of asking, but I really don't want to buy into the idea of rules and games when it comes to relationships and ...
A. 4 August 2010: One thing I've heard from a guy is that he may be interested in a girl based on her looks, he goes to speak to her and it turns out he's not really that interested, so he ends up feeling bad and asks for her number with no intention of calling her. ... (read in full...)
I broke up with this strange girl, now she's stalking me, what can I do ??
Q. Hi ,i have a issue almost a 1 year now, i had a relationship with 2 year younger girl when i was 16 and we were together for 1 and a half week , i was not attracted to her at all ,but it impressed me that she asked me out and i said she seemed nice ...
A. 31 July 2010: I agree, you need to save everything that that girl sends to you: text messages, voicemails and your call log. Don't be embarrassed to get your parents involved. They should also be contacting the dean and telling him what's going on and that this ... (read in full...)
No comfort or serious communication from my friends, what should I do?
Q. I feel drained and used by my friends. When they have problems, I listen to them and am there for them. However when I talk to them, they don't repay me in the same way. They'll instead reply with "Well, at least this didn't happen" or they try to ...
A. 29 July 2010: I don't think it's childish at all. I'm 26 and go through the same thing with my friends. Honestly, I feel the same way A LOT of the time. But I guarantee you, at least one of them probably feels the same way you do.
I think all you can do i... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for not feeling like I cheated on her??
Q. Me and my girlfriend had been together for 4 years. It was getting to the point in the relationship where I had to decide if I was going to marry this person or not. In thinking about this for a while I became really confused and asked to take a ...
A. 25 July 2010: I'm sure your girlfriend was assuming that this "break" was so that you could get your head together and figure out what you want...not go and date someone else for a few weeks and make that a deciding factor that you want to be with your ... (read in full...)
How can I get birth control without my parents knowing?
Q. how can i get on birth control if i dont wnat my parents to find out i have had sex? they are strong lutherans and if they find out im not a virgin, ill be screwed. but on the other hand, if they find out im pregnant, ill be kicked out. how can i ...
A. 25 July 2010: www.plannedparenthood.org... (read in full...)
Everyone is rude to me!
Q. I live in the Greensboro/High Point area of North Carolina, and I've gotten to the point where I can't stand it. People here are obscenely rude to me on a regular basis, and I don't tolerate it. It happens to me several times a day! For exampl...
A. 25 July 2010: Well it's hard to know without knowing you. Surely it has nothing to do with your apppearance as far as being "pretty" or "ugly." I worked in customer service for many years, and it didn't matter how the person looked--if an ugly person or pretty ... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend said eeeew referring to me in a bikini. Do I confront him?
Q. Well, me and my best fried were swimming and having a wonderful time, when my boyfriend texts me I get her phone, because mine was practically dead, and when I get her phone she gets a text message from her boyfriend and he is talking about me, I go ...
A. 24 July 2010: No, he is being immature. And he may have not said "eww" to you being in a bikini, he's your ex? So he may have just been referring to her hanging out with you. Or it could have been that he was just trying to put her down because he's jealous ... (read in full...)
How do I find out if she's only after sex?
Q. I have been seeing someone for a brief period of time. I am really into this woman but,unfortunately it would appear that she only wants sex. Or at least that is the only conclusion that I can come up with. While I am not against this, I am also not ...
A. 23 July 2010: This is really simple. If you want to find out what she's interested in, ask her! There won't be any guessing games and you'll know. Once you know it kind of puts a closure on things and if she's not into what you want, then you know that you can ... (read in full...)
Will sex hurt as much as using a tampon?
Q. i'm a 14 year old girl. i have a boyfriend, we've been dating for a long time. we're starting to talk about sex. i'm a virgin, he isn't tho. my ex and i dated for 2 years, but i never wanted to have sex, but we attempted oral, but he wasn't into it. ...
A. 23 July 2010: Forget about his penis hurting you. You know what will really hurt? A baby coming out! So really think about your future rather than instant gratification. I know we all end up having sex eventually--so make sure you are protected because ... (read in full...)
How can I stop cheating, lying, hurting and stealing???
Q. How can I stop cheating, lying, hurting and stealing??? How can I change?? Who can help me?? who has the right answer??? Why am I doing this specially to the those who love me and close to me??? How can I change?? Why am I angry?? Why do I fail?? Am ...
A. 23 July 2010: Get a conscience? Obviously the first step is admiting you have a problem, which you are. I think you might need help that goes far beyond what any of us can help you with. You didn't give too much info about yourself--the only thing that I can ... (read in full...)
I have serious concerns about my daughter's mental health!
Q. My daughter is 15, nearly 16. When she was 13, she got bullied very badly. Her mental health hasn't yet fully recovered, although she has been in therapy for attempting suicide. Her brother has Asperger's Syndrome and is quite violent. He make...
A. 20 July 2010: I don't understand why everyone is saying she needs "help" over this. Am I missing something? Your daughter sounds a lot like me, although I'm 10-years older than her. However, preteen years I did get bullied a lot by other girls who were my ... (read in full...)
"Infatuated" and "Blinded by Emotion"...what does that mean?
Q. Dear Cupid, my question is...when someone tells you "your infatuated" what exactly does this mean? Also what does it mean when they say "your blinded by emotion"?? Please be descriptive and Thank You So Much !!...
A. 6 July 2010: Here's infatuation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
Blinded by emotion is exactly what it is. You can't see what's really there because you're thinking emotionally and not logically.... (read in full...)
I just want to know what to think....does he care?
Q. This Question is regarding an affair i am having with a married man,no judgements please.This affair has gone on for over 10yrs,we are both in our 60's now all children are grown up and married. What i am trying to work out is does this man have any...
A. 6 July 2010: I think he cares, but not enough to leave his wife; otherwise, he would have done so by now. You probably give him what his wife doesn't--it sounds like they have a bit of a rocky relationship from what you described.
Perhaps he thinks you're c... (read in full...)
My teacher kissed me! I know this is wrong so how do I move on and get over him?
Q. Okay so I'm going through a really rough time at the moment, and this teacher is so lovely and has been helping me through it, organizing councelors and just helping and stuff. One day when I had a breakdown in his class, he followed me out as I ...
A. 4 June 2010: You don't want to get him in trouble because...you think he's nice? He tries to help you out? You need to realize that predators work by getting you to trust them and then they start to make their move. What's next? He'll invite you somewhere ... (read in full...)
He wants kids but I already have them and don't want more...
Q. I love my boyfriend. I want us to be together, but as time goes on I have begun realizing more and more that I do not want any more children ( I have 2 from a previous relationship). He has expressed a desire to have one or two children of his own. ...
A. 2 June 2010: If he wants children of his own and you don't want anymore...then obviously you two getting married isn't really an option. Definitely discuss it, but it seems like it's in his hands whether or not to continue the relationship. If you want two ... (read in full...)
If he used a condom and didn't go all the way in, am I still a virgin?
Q. ok, i don't know if I'm not a virgin or not. Me and my boyfriend got into this situation where he puts a condom on and tried to put it in, it kinda hurts but the thing is that he didn't go all the way in or even half way in! So what am i? ...
A. 2 June 2010: You're not a virgin.... (read in full...)
He thinks he's too young to settle down!
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years. we never argue and we are great together. recently he has been thinking that hes too young to settle down because hes only 17 and says hes bored. he tells me he loves me, but he wants more excitement in ou...
A. 2 June 2010: Well he is too young to settle down. And I just just have to be blunt, but him saying he's "bored" and needs more "excitement" means he wants to see what else is out there. It doens't mean there's anything wrong with you, but he needs to explore ... (read in full...)
Interracial marriage having issues
Q. I'm An African American guy married to a German woman.but we are having serious issues. Been married now for 6 years.our relationship was cool when I was stationed in Germany but now back in the states things are difficult. We have had iss...
A. 31 May 2010: I think you need to tell your wife that the crash in your love life is having an effect on you. It's understandable the way you feel and it's understandable the way that she feels. I don't think you should tell her that these women have been ... (read in full...)
He comes on strong and then pulls away!
Q. I have been dating this guy for a year and a half. I have fallen in love with him and I dont know if I should tell him because he has me confused. One min he acts like he really likes me and another min. he's pulling away. What should I do....
A. 31 May 2010: Definitely don't tell him you are in love with him. When he pulls away just call him out on it. Most people want to play stupid little games of cat and mouse, but sometimes enough is enough and you have to call them out on their crap. I did, and ... (read in full...)
Why are his ex-girlfriend's contacting me?
Q. I broke up with my ex 5 years ago due to abuse. I was contacted by his ex gf 2 years ago and now contacted my another ex gf about his abuse. Why would ex's contact me? I just dont understand Im out of the picture!!!...
A. 31 May 2010: How about you ask them? Why would any of us know?... (read in full...)
After I masturbate, its hard to pee!
Q. I'm a girl, after I masturbate it's hard to pee...Eventually once I do I have to go a lot. Is this normal? If not, I'm too scared to tell my parents. Please give me an answer....
A. 31 May 2010: It's normal.... (read in full...)
I don't have an hymen even though I'm not an athelete.
Q. hii!iam not an athlete..but i dont hav an hymen layer..i found this when me and my boyfriend had sex..from that point of time he is suspecting me a lot..!!i was a virgin when i slept with him..but he is not trusting me b'coz of the absence of hymen ...
A. 31 May 2010: We don't know where your hymen went...not every single woman has one and it can break from riding a bike. Who cares? If your boyfriend doesn't believe you then tell him he can kick rocks and go find a chick whose hymen is intact.... (read in full...)
Is this how scorpio men show love?
Q. Please help! I have been dating a scorpio guy on and off for two years and I am still lost. At the time we met in May 2008, we had just left our respective partners. He told me he wasn't ready to get serious because his last one lasted five ...
A. 31 May 2010: He keeps coming back because you buy him whatever he wants and take care of him as if he's a child. You need to see this is a parent-child relationship. Just like when you need your mommy for supplies (food, clothing, shelter, and a pat on the ... (read in full...)
Doesn't get into a relationship, doesn't let go.
Q. I like this woman and we have been very good friends for a few years. About six months back I asked her if we could get into a relationship as I was serious about her. She told me that she wanted some time to think about it. We continue to be good ...
A. 30 May 2010: You should move on until she makes up her mind. It's not fair to you. You've told her how you feel and if she's not ready, then she's not. She wants to have her cake and eat it too, and that's not cool. I think you know what you should do, but ... (read in full...)
How do I confront him when I'm guilty of having snooped?
Q. Ok so basically I did the wrong thing and snooped and looked at my boyfriend of just over a years emails. I had a feeling back in January there was something to worry about when he was constantly getting messages late at night and we had one problem ...
A. 29 May 2010: Regardless if you were snooping and discovered this, obviously you had reason to snoop. So basically your boyfriend is a liar and cheat. If I were you and discovered all this, I'd probably feel pretty sick to my stomach. Especially him letting ... (read in full...)
Could this "friends with benefits" thing work? And is this a bad idea?
Q. Ok so here's my situation. A few months ago my husband and I were going through a really rough time. There was this guy that i worked with and we became good friends. One night he invited me out for coffee and we wound up having sex. This guy had a ...
A. 28 May 2010: Don't expect him to not sleep with other girls if he's not in a committed relationship with you. I can see where you're coming from, but you really can't expect him to be down with that or to even be truthful to you about it. I would think it's ... (read in full...)
He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?
Q. I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...
A. 25 May 2010: You have far worse problems than the one you have with you friend...repelling ghosts and now you're diagnosing yourself as clinically depressed. Go see a doctor, PLEASE!... (read in full...)
He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?
Q. I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...
A. 20 April 2010: Just like how your friends respect that you're gay, you also need to respect that they're straight and nothing is going to happen. Just come to terms that they are only friends and people that you cannot be romantically involved with. If you have ... (read in full...)
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