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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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Do you sometimes have to play games in relationships?
Q. Do you sometimes have to play games in relationships? I met a guy a short while ago and he came on really, really strong...not sexually, but lovingly and wanting a relationship. He kept saying he was afraid to get involved with me because he worri...
A. 14 December 2010: What a jerk! He has problems...I used to see a guy that acted very similar to that and trust me, they don't change and they only piss you off more. He doesn't even deserve to have you as a friend.... (read in full...)
Will a woman always love her special man?
Q. slight follow up to my current main serious question posted on the 13th dec. will a woman always love that 1 special person no matter what? they might have afew bfs or loads, but is there always that special 1 that she will always have feelings fo...
A. 14 December 2010: Sometimes...but then sometimes you move on and your feelings change. The feelings you once thought you would always have start to fade away with time, especially if you don't keep in contact or if things have somehow gone downhill with whatever ... (read in full...)
Will she still be 'tight' for me?
Q. My girlfriend had sex one time before she met me for literally only 2 minutes and told the man to stop. She knew what she was doing was wrong theres a long back story to this. But I'm wondering will she still be tight when we do it? Tight as a ...
A. 13 December 2010: No, once a woman has sex even once it's like throwing a pencil down a hallway...... (read in full...)
Do you sometimes have to play games in relationships?
Q. Do you sometimes have to play games in relationships? I met a guy a short while ago and he came on really, really strong...not sexually, but lovingly and wanting a relationship. He kept saying he was afraid to get involved with me because he worri...
A. 12 December 2010: Did you leave something out? I don't really see how you've come across as desperate? If anything, the way you described him, he needs to be on medication or something. Sounds like a weirdo. Plus he was incarcerated? What are you doing getting ... (read in full...)
Why does he cheat, there's nothing binding him to me?
Q. I have been in a relationship with this guy for almost 4 yrs. I have caught him cheating on me a couple of times. But he insist that he want me and dont want to loose me. So why would a man cheat on you if he is really in love with you and dont want ...
A. 12 December 2010: Cheating is pretty inexcusable. Logically (to a person that doesn't cheat) if you're not happy in the relationship and want to go have fun with someone else, then break it off and go have your fun. I've read a few things about why people cheat. ... (read in full...)
Lesbian love for my sixth grade math teacher! HELP!
Q. Hey there! Well, I need help. I am in love with my sixth grade math teacher. Now, I know I know you're going to say, "Oh it's just a crush it's just a crush", but I know it's not. This is serious, very serious to the point where I'm obsessed with ...
A. 12 December 2010: Go to a psychiatrist. I know this is definitely the answer you're not looking for, but you sound really delusional. You're obsessed and stalking her--this is not normal behavior. ... (read in full...)
Anyone have any advice on how to kickstart a relationship after having a baby?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for nearly three years and we have a four month old daughter together. Ever since our baby was born my girlfriend has stopped showing me any form of affection (including sex). When I try to talk to her abou...
A. 12 December 2010: One thing you have to remember is that you're not her #1 anymore. The baby is. I completely agree with anonymous. She's probably completely exhausted caring for the baby...if you think you help enough, you probably don't. When you think you're ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing?
Q. Brief History: I.. 1) Recently graduated from college with a Bachelor's degree 2) Have my own car 3) Have a decent paying job 4)No kid. My boyfriend 1) Does not have a degree, but DOES have a High school diploma 2) Does NOT have a car 3) Has an OK ...
A. 12 December 2010: The only thing that I think you did wrong was not telling your boyfriend the truth. If you're not honest with him as to why you're not ready to live with him then he's not going to have anything to work toward. It sounds like he already lacks a ... (read in full...)
Do online dating sites really work?
Q. Hey guys my question is: Does relationship sites works? I am a girl and I decided to try find someone in a relationship site. After applying a lot of guys have showed up,I was talking with a guy and I liked him,after one week he asked me to hang out...
A. 9 December 2010: No, you didn't do anything wrong. Sounds like he has problems, is playing games, or has something going on on the side. If you're on a site like that...trust me, a lot more guys will come along so cut him off. At this point, it's easy to cut him ... (read in full...)
13 year old son sexting. What should his punishment be?
Q. Just caught my 13 year old sexting with a girl in his class. They sent each other pictures of each other and everything. Not sure what his punishment should be. His phone was taken indefinitely. Not sure what else I should do. What do u all think?...
A. 9 December 2010: Hmm I don't have any kids but when I was 13, I didn't have a cell phone and when I did get one (at 17) I certainly didn't have text messages; of course that was almost 10 years ago so texting wasn't big yet, but I survived without a cell phone. And ... (read in full...)
I have no feelings or sex drive for my 330 lb. husband!
Q. Iam so imbarrased to write about this! But iam so tired of this I really need some advise! I have a husband that weighs 330pounds. I weigh 140pounds. Our sex sucks really really bad because of his weight. I keep on asking him to loose weight in ...
A. 8 December 2010: My sister went through something like this. Her husband gained a considerable amount of weight after they got married. Before he was fit, really attractive, and had even done some modeling and acting. And when I say a considerable amount of ... (read in full...)
Help! I'm scared to tell my mom I'm pregnant... again!
Q. Please help me, I just turned 16 january 20 and my boyfriend turned 19 dec 16, i got pregnant before and got an abortion 5 months ago and I'm pregnant again. my mom is extra strict and so is my family, once again my bf wants to keep it and I do too ...
A. 8 December 2010: A lot of people have stuff to last them for a while...that's what baby showers are great for. Babies grow fast and you'll have to keep replacing those clothes. 1000 diapers will be gone within a year. Not trying to be negative, but you have ... (read in full...)
I found out the guy I was dating was a registered sex offender
Q. HI. I just started dating this guy, when I found out that He was a registered sex offender. I found out through his ex mother in law that I happened to work with. When he was 15 he sexually molested his sister over a time frame of about 3 months.. ...
A. 2 December 2010: No...child molesters don't change. He may be able to fight it off as long as he's away from children, but he will still have the urge to. Regardless if you don't have children now or don't plan on any (which doesn't matter because sometimes we ... (read in full...)
Is it normal not to want to hold a baby?
Q. My cousin has just had a lovely baby boy and he is absolutely gorgeous, but when i went to see her today i found myself refusing to have a hold of him. Up until actually arriving at the maternity ward, i was eager to have a hold but when it came to ...
A. 2 December 2010: I think it's fairly normal. I dont like holding babies either, not at least until they're more "sturdy." When they're newborn I'm afraid I'll hurt them or won't hold them right so it freaks me out and I won't hold them. Don't feel bad, and others ... (read in full...)
How do I learn to be ok with this? My partner wants to become a woman!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been dating for about a year and a half. serious for about 10 months. we live together and he gave me a promise ring because neither one of us is ready to get married but we are committed to each other. he is very sexual and ...
A. 30 November 2010: I honestly don't think any woman in her right mind would be okay with this. You have to think of it this way: what he was presenting to you was fake. He was lying to you and himself about who he truly is and wants. If he's brought this up to you, ... (read in full...)
Why is it so bad someone my age has sex?
Q. Hi, I was thinking today, why is it so bad someone my age has sex? I assure you I haven't but I was talking to my mom and she said as long as you are responsible(using multiple forms of birth control) and had sex with someone you trusted and knew ...
A. 30 November 2010: Sex at your age is considered "bad" usually because you're not responsible nor mature enough to handle the consequences. Many adults aren't even mature or responsible enough! Responsibility would include taking the right precautions as far as ... (read in full...)
Engagement ring for Christmas..good or bad idea?
Q. So I am considering giving my lady an engagement ring for christmas, is this a good or a bad idea. I am sure she will say yes, but didn't know if this was an acceptable gift or not. If I do, I will wrap the ring box, and inside the box put a li...
A. 30 November 2010: Great idea! Very thoughtful and sweet!... (read in full...)
Why is this guy so mean to me?
Q. I'm in a tennis class with him and every time I do something, he criticizes me. I barely even talk to him! I don't even GLANCE in his direction. I'd walk around with my tennis racket, he'd call me a loser. I'd hug my friend and he'd call me gay. I'd ...
A. 30 November 2010: Sounds like he's trying to get your attention...you obviously ignore him all the time and since he's childish that's how he thinks you'll pay attention to him. I've always been pretty outspoken, so if it were me, I probably would have told him to ... (read in full...)
Girls, what turns you off?
Q. Girls what is a major turn off about a guy? Is it appearance? Smell? What?...
A. 30 November 2010: Bahaha I'm totally cracking up about tenisstar88's #1 Jacked up crooked teeth. True, true. If a guy has a gnarly grill it's not very appealing.
I think the biggest turnoff for me is if a guy is overly feminine (as in he has trouble with people b... (read in full...)
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!
Q. My boyfriend is going to Las Vegas this upcoming Thanksgiving weekend. He has only gone on a few trips without me,but NEVER to a place like Las Vegas." Whatever happens in Vegas,stays in Vegas." I am horrified of this quote. He is going with his ...
A. 24 November 2010: No..you shouldn't be mad. I've gone to Vegas a few times without boyfriends and sure Vegas is indeed a good time, but it's not THAT crazy. Sure it's called sin city and there's gambling, dance clubs, and strip clubs everywhere but you just have to ... (read in full...)
I want kids but I'm scared to have sex
Q. Im scared to have sex but i want kids and im scared to lose me virginity beacuse i dont want to go there the pain of getting my cherry popped. can someone give me advice???...
A. 24 November 2010: Umm...you're 15 at the oldest. We were all scared to have sex and I'm sure many of us are scared to have kids and are much older than you. So my advice: worry about other things, it's not that important right now.... (read in full...)
I just need help to deal with my frustrations
Q. I have been dating a man (long distance) for about a year now. It started out as an online relationship, but we have met plenty of times, and he is currently working on saving money (as am I) so that we can move in together in the future. Now, we ...
A. 24 November 2010: I think the problem is that you two talk too much. If you talk for hours every single day...what do you really have to talk about anymore? Besides that, I think it's becoming a chore for him to talk to you because 1.) It's not fun anymore because ... (read in full...)
I read his email, found out he cheated and now he says he doesn't trust me!
Q. My boyfriend was away on course for 2 months in a different city. He was drinking a lot, very stressed and meet an old female friend he know 6 years ago on the course. When he arrived home, he very distance too me. My gut told me something happen .I ...
A. 24 November 2010: He can't trust you anymore? Well let him know that that makes two of you because you can't trust him anymore and walk away from him. Seriously, what a jerk. He's making you feel bad over something you shouldn't feel bad about. If anyone should ... (read in full...)
Is she just flirting or does she want more?
Q. helo pls help me. if a female (who already has a boyfriend) is inviting me by different signs like twinkling eye, bringing her ass close to me how i will ask her whether she welcoming me for sex, or i m wrong?...
A. 21 November 2010: Yes, you should ask her if she wants sex right in front of her boyfriend.... Find a girl that doesn't have a boyfriend because there is probably more than one female out there that is willing to sleep with you.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend watches gay porn on a regular basis!
Q. I found out that my boyfriend of 5 years watches gay porn on a regular basis. He has always watched a lot of porn, but about 1 year ago I noticed gay porn and gay dating sites in his search history. He used to say that it was all pop ups from the ...
A. 21 November 2010: In your question you said, "...and that he has n interest in actually being with a man." A man that has an interest in being with another man is gay, that's pretty clear. However, he may have always thought about it in the back of his mind but ... (read in full...)
Is there something mentally wrong with my ex?
Q. So listen i been dating this guy for a year and some change. Well it's been a rough patch. A week before sweetest day i broke up with him, He was very verbally abusive and talked about my child, not to mention I was pregnant with his child. Well ...
A. 21 November 2010: I didn't get from your post that you were wanting to take him back (and I hope you're not) but that you're just wondering if he has probably more of psychological disorder perhaps? He could! In any case, the way he reacted to you breaking up with ... (read in full...)
A work colleague looks into my eyes and uses my name in conversation
Q. There is this guy at work who is always staring at me. He is really nice to me but i noticed that he says my name a lot when we speak ... im not really sure if he does that to everyone. he would come in the office to say something to someone else,...
A. 21 November 2010: It's a little hard to tell if he's the same way with other women as he is with you because...we're not there. But if you're getting the vibe that he's interested, which I think you can usually tell, then he probably is interested. I think you're ... (read in full...)
I have a baby with a married man. Now what?
Q. I am a 36 year old single woman who has a daughter with a 50 year old married man. He has no children with his wife. I am so in love with him but I want a complete family. Is it wrong of me to want him to leave his wife? And if he doesn't (which ...
A. 21 November 2010: I don't think it's wrong of you to FEEL that he should leave his wife and have a family with you, I think it would be natural to feel that way in your circumstance. However, I do think it's wrong of you to want him to leave his wife for you. ... (read in full...)
What does a brown discharge mean?
Q. i have brown discharge coming from my vagina and i cant go to a doctor can anyone tell me what it is and what to do about it?...
A. 20 November 2010: Sounds like you're about to start your period...... (read in full...)
Girls lose interest because I'm too sweet?
Q. well here goes... i have a huge problem. Whenever me and a girl start talking for a bit and we get rly into each other or after a couple months of dating they lose their feelings for me and distance themselves because i try too hard, and i dont mea...
A. 19 November 2010: There's a difference between being sweet and being a doormat. No, girls don't want to date an asshole...we of course want to be respected and have someone that does thoughtful gestures. Think of it this way: if you take your gf to a nice dinner ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend's mom that she treats him like crap?
Q. Me and my boyfriends friends have always gotten along,but his family.. Well lets just say they don't treat him the best in the world and it hurts my feelings that he would rather move farther away from me just so he doesn't have to deal with his ...
A. 19 November 2010: One thing that you said stuck out to me which was "And he still loves her." Of course he does and will, she's his mother. I think it's okay to say something as long as you don't overstep your boundaries.
First, I think that if you're at her h... (read in full...)
Suddenly he doesn't want to see me!
Q. Well I'm in a predicament... I really really like this "player" and he supposedly liked me but then we hung out and what not... and things were going great then one day I couldn't hang out and he got super mad and stopped talking to me. Now we ...
A. 19 November 2010: What to do? You mean what to do to change him? Nothing. If he really "liked" you, he wouldn't get mad at you for not being able to see him. Especially if you're hooking up (which I'm assuming you are) he only wants to play...that's what a player ... (read in full...)
How do I stop this retroactive jealousy? Help!
Q. I went out with my current girlfriend for about a year, then broke up with her for about three years, then got back together about 9 months ago. I love her, and she says she loves me and wants to get married to me. But, I've been struggling with ...
A. 18 November 2010: First of all...don't get down on yourself and think you're stupid for asking her (I don't think you should have asked her but sometimes curiosity gets the better of us). In my opinion, it was stupid of her to tell you that her previous partner was ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin male..will this help me find a better class of a gf, in the future?
Q. My friend has told me that not dating and being virgin through highschool will help me meet a better class of women. Do you think not going through the highschool drama will help me in the future?...
A. 18 November 2010: I don't think it will help you meet a better class of women (because you're going to meet all sorts of women...trashy ones, classy ones, and inbetween ones), but it may help you when choosing what you would consider a classier woman that fits into ... (read in full...)
When making out...how long does a girl wait before removing her bra?
Q. how long do girls usually wait to take their tops/bras off while making out? i dont want to give him the impression that i want to go faster witht he physical stuff, quite the opposite- weve only known each other for almost 2 months.. and i r...
A. 18 November 2010: So you have removed your top and you're wondering if you had moved a little too fast? Or are you asking when is it appropriate to remove your top during a relationship when making out?
Honestly, I don't think there's really any "normal" time a g... (read in full...)
Office gossip about my boss and me! What should I do?
Q. i am having problems with this women at work she has started spreading lies about my boss and i that my boss and i are having sexual relations via texts which isn't true and that i'm wanting to sleep with my boss its gone around the workplace, and i ...
A. 18 November 2010: Oh, not good. This has actually happened recently at my place of work; not with me but with two managers at work. If any of this sounds familiar let me know: they were seen in each other's offices talking quite a bit, would go to lunch together, ... (read in full...)
Can someone please explain why he keeps on being a jerk but he still keeps on contacting me?
Q. I've posted about this situation before but things keep happening and I am at a loss. So to recap, I met this guy on a dating site and we dated 2 months until he ended it with me. Things were really great at the beginning but about a month into it, ...
A. 17 November 2010: He keeps contacting you because he likes the games and likes the drama. However, because you still continue to talk to him, it only leads me to think you like the games and drama as well. I know you would say that you hate it, but it's simple to ... (read in full...)
I can't stand that she's not a virgin!
Q. Okay so im fairly certain that i want to break up with my girlfriend. We've been together for almost 9 months now and in her eyes everything is going great. But a few months ago I found out she s not a virgin(I am a virgin). Ive tried to let time ...
A. 17 November 2010: No...I'm just saying that it's not logical to be emotional about something like this, but then I guess emotions aren't necessarily logical. Breaking up with someone and being upset that someone isn't a virgin are two completely different things. ... (read in full...)
I can't stand that she's not a virgin!
Q. Okay so im fairly certain that i want to break up with my girlfriend. We've been together for almost 9 months now and in her eyes everything is going great. But a few months ago I found out she s not a virgin(I am a virgin). Ive tried to let time ...
A. 16 November 2010: Well if you want to break up with her over that then that's your decison. But the older you get the less likely you are to date any virgins anyway....so good luck with that. Are you somewhat jealous that she's already been with someone and you ... (read in full...)
Male pattern baldness!
Q. Hey people, I can't help but feel that I'll be single for the rest of my life. Here's my situation: I'm in my early twenties and started balding a couple of years back. Instead of opting for hair transplants and whatnot, I chose to shave my head an...
A. 16 November 2010: First of all...girls aren't the only shallow ones. We're worried about our weight constantly and how big or small our boobs and butt are--we get judged on that stuff by men as well. I've known quite a few girls that think bald guys are sexy. An ... (read in full...)
I was molested as a kid, is that how I got cervical cancer?
Q. i have cervical cancer and don't know how i got it an i was just wondering if there was a way i got it by being sexually abused as a kid...
A. 14 November 2010: You actually have cervical cancer or do you just have the HPV strain that can maybe cause cervical cancer?
If you have HPV then yes, you could have gotten it from that or if you've had sex before (protected or not). Otherwise, if you just hav... (read in full...)
Does manipulation give a sense of empowerment?
Q. Okay, well. Today I was on IM chat (MSN) with my girlfriend. I had just got back from work and had only spoken to her once, for 2-3 minutes, that WHOLE day. On IM, I was laughing and sharing demotivational pictures and enjoying myself whi...
A. 13 November 2010: Ha be prepared for this in the future...women do this. You're taking it wrong, it wasn't any sort of manipulation tactic or her expecting you to read her mind. She was ANNOYED at the fact that you had hardly spoken to her all day and then during ... (read in full...)
Help! I'm scared to tell my mom I'm pregnant... again!
Q. Please help me, I just turned 16 january 20 and my boyfriend turned 19 dec 16, i got pregnant before and got an abortion 5 months ago and I'm pregnant again. my mom is extra strict and so is my family, once again my bf wants to keep it and I do too ...
A. 1 February 2010: I hope you mean that you were pregnant for 2-months and kept it a secret for 5-months, because you can't have an abortion after about 13 wks unless something is seriously wrong with the baby...so at 2-months hardly anyone shows.... (read in full...)
Help! I'm scared to tell my mom I'm pregnant... again!
Q. Please help me, I just turned 16 january 20 and my boyfriend turned 19 dec 16, i got pregnant before and got an abortion 5 months ago and I'm pregnant again. my mom is extra strict and so is my family, once again my bf wants to keep it and I do too ...
A. 1 February 2010: Well you have to tell your mom, you can't keep it a secret. It will be obvious when you start showing...or even when you start sleeping and puking all the time. I don't know why you didn't learn your lesson before. Obviously your mom isn't too ... (read in full...)
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