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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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Boyfriends mother excludes me from family events.
Q. Please help me out on this! My potential mother-in-law leaves me out of family gatherings such as Easter, inviting instead someone my bf used to go out with, whom she prefers, and whom she has a close relationship with and adores. Every holiday I am ...
A. 3 April 2010: I think it's good that you told your boyfriend how you feel in this situation. I think you have every right to feel how you do. I would definitely feel the same way if I were in your shoes along with many other people. Your future mother-in-law ... (read in full...)
I'm liking a player and I don't want to!
Q. (MOD NOTE) 2 posts made into one Theres this guy i've met 3 years ago we hit it off well but two days later i had to go back to my home town.i messaged him few months ago and he was saying all these stuff how his going to come to my home state an...
A. 3 April 2010: I wouldn't call him a player, just keeping his options open. He lives in another state and you'll just be worried about him all the time. Forget him, he's a waste of your time.... (read in full...)
Why are all the guys I'm meeting wanting to drag my name through the mud?
Q. *OP's own title* y am i meeting guys that only wanna drag my good name through the mud. ok so my very first bf lied about sleeping wit me like he was braggimg about it and that ended everything we had. we did not sleep together. then while on the ...
A. 3 April 2010: Well your first boyfriend was probably from when you were younger and guys mature slower, so he was immature and stupid. The next guy...he was a player, what did you expect? There are guys out there that want a girlfriend and not just FWB, you ... (read in full...)
How do I find the balance between overeager, and interested?
Q. So just wanted to know the dating rules. Guy went out with me twice, texts late. I dont wana seem too interested but still kinda mysterious, get him into me....he responds to texts late....shud i reply tonite or tomorrow? shud i not reply at all? ...
A. 3 April 2010: You're thinking about it way too much. Be yourself. Playing 'the game' in my opinion doesn't occur if you meet the right person. But if he texted you late...like you should be in bed or you're out partying and didn't hear your phone late, then ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like a one night stand?
Q. )OP's own title* I've never had anything like a one night stand before. I usually spend months dating a guy before sex comes into the equation, so I have no idea whether the way this guy was acting suggests it was a one night stand or something more...
A. 3 April 2010: All I have to say is don't get too excited about it or get your hopes up. After a good night many guys tend to talk about the future after these situations and then they never follow through. Just don't make a big deal about what happpened EVER ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to contact an ex?
Q. i want to contact my ex after 6 months of no contact. whats the best way to do it?...
A. 2 April 2010: I got my pigeons on overstock.com... (read in full...)
What does it mean when an ex talks badly about you for no reason?
Q. What does it mean when a relationship ends and then 6 months later your ex is talking crap about you constantly or brings you up in conversations constantly? We have a mutual friend who has told me this. It didn't end on bad terms, he actually ...
A. 2 April 2010: Okay, I'll believe you then. Here's my take...there's a fine line between love and hate. Do you know what I mean? Say for example you get dumped...yet you were so in love with him but you're so upset by his actions that you begin to hate him. ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when an ex talks badly about you for no reason?
Q. What does it mean when a relationship ends and then 6 months later your ex is talking crap about you constantly or brings you up in conversations constantly? We have a mutual friend who has told me this. It didn't end on bad terms, he actually ...
A. 2 April 2010: Oh GOD! Are you the same one that's all hung up over the myspace deletion? ... (read in full...)
How should I respond to what he said?
Q. What does it mean when a guy, who i have been going for couple months tell me that "with me, you are so innocent" after making out with me? ( i did not touch his ****) Second, he said he is so frustrated everytime i left him there after our making...
A. 2 April 2010: I agree, it sounds like he's asking for sex indirectly.... (read in full...)
6 months later ex deletes our myspace, what does this mean?
Q. Hi, My ex boyfriend and I broke up a around Nov of 09' which was about 6 months ago. A couple weeks after we broke up he had this friend who he vented to about us and they soon after were dating, im guessing it is a rebound after everything i've ...
A. 2 April 2010: OP...get a grip. Just because you took General Psychology at your local Junior College does not mean that you've "studied" it. All you want is an answer that you want to hear, you want to hear, "OMG! That is a true sign that he just can't bear ... (read in full...)
Bi-polar boyfriend really depressed and its taking a toll on our sex life!
Q. Dear cupid! I've got some issues that I'm really not sure how to deal with. My boyfriend is very bipolar and it's really starting to take its toll on me. I'll try and keep this post as short as I can. We have been going out for about 9 month...
A. 2 April 2010: My ex was bipolar and he never took medication. He would self-medicate with illegal drugs. If your boyfriend doesn't get on any sort of medication, DUMP HIM NOW! If you think it's bad now, it'll only get worse.... (read in full...)
What's the best way to contact an ex?
Q. i want to contact my ex after 6 months of no contact. whats the best way to do it?...
A. 2 April 2010: Carrier pigeon.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend obsessed with pole dancing!
Q. Hi if you are reading this i totally need some help. My boyfriend talks about pole dancing and i think that thats just gross. But he always talks about it. I am starting to think that he wants me to do it. I need some edvice on the subject. I think ...
A. 2 April 2010: Well you need not worry about getting a job anytime soon as a pole dancer considering you're way too young. He's around your age I'm guessing? Young boys have a fascination with that because they're young and immature. Sure, older guys still go ... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from him in a week and now he calls and acts like nothings wrong.
Q. *op's own title* so we met. two weeks after knowing eachother we slept together.i really fell for him and he for me, so he says. well, we texted and called eachother 24/7. he's less fortunate than i am and always remembers to bring it up. he alway...
A. 31 March 2010: You already gave him the benefit of the doubt and as you said, he's acting shady again. I believe (and I think you do too) tha the phone falling off the roof is an exaggeration. It may have fallen off the roof, but apparently it still works. What ... (read in full...)
Which do you prefer: a female or male Gynecologist?
Q. Hey Aunts, Pretty trivial one here: I'm planning on going on the pill, and I just made a doctor's appointment. It only just occured to me that most people would probably want to see a female doctor about this, but when they asked me if I would ra...
A. 31 March 2010: I prefer female because for some reason in my mind I feel like a male wanting to be a gynecologist is a perv and wants to look at vaginas all day. I'm sure it's not completely the case, but I won't go to a male if I don't have to. My best friend ... (read in full...)
What is your take on this love letter?
Q. XXX is to protect my ex's name, and mine. Please tell me of the tone of the letter, and the idea of the ballet tix. I am asking of as many people's feedback as possible. ----- Dear XXXX, I ask you to read these words with an open mind and he...
A. 30 March 2010: Nevermind, I just realized that you're writing it to your ex...same opinion though. I was a little confused what was hard to understand, but I get it now...you're the one writing the letter. Duh, silly me.... (read in full...)
What is your take on this love letter?
Q. XXX is to protect my ex's name, and mine. Please tell me of the tone of the letter, and the idea of the ballet tix. I am asking of as many people's feedback as possible. ----- Dear XXXX, I ask you to read these words with an open mind and he...
A. 30 March 2010: This letter is pretty upfront, I don't know what you could be missing here? Sounds like your ex is a pretty romantic guy that has tried to make improvements in his life to better himself to be a better partner for you. Obviously, you like ballet ... (read in full...)
My mum has threatened to kick me out of the house if I don't do what she wants!
Q. im 16, pretty independent, mature an very respectful. but lately ive been stressed out an realy upset cause of my mum. she is extremely controlling, in fact she grounded me until i am mature! my mum knows my dream is to be a great chef, and she ...
A. 30 March 2010: Her house, her rules. Finish school, move out, then follow your dreams.... (read in full...)
Should I continue pressuring a friend to have a relationship me even though he doesn't want to?
Q. my friend and i have known each other for almost 8 years. him and me have been having sex or years. i've always pressure him to be in a relationship with me. we haven't spoken in two months because he got tired of me telling him to be with him. he ...
A. 30 March 2010: Umm he doesn't want to talk to you and he even changed his number so that he doesn't have to speak to you. I would advise not going to his house unless you want to be stalker status. If it's been years of you pressuring him into a relationship and ... (read in full...)
I told him I was not stupid when he asked for a loan. Now he wont speak to me, ...did I handle this wrong?
Q. Can someone please help me out. I have been dating this guy that I once dated before. So getting to know each other would not be a deal. We were so happy getting back together. About a week ago his calls and txt messages had stopped. Even when I ...
A. 30 March 2010: No, you're completely RIGHT in this situation. He blew you off for about a week and wants to give you some sob story about how he's so "depressed" and that he can't even talk to you about it...then asks you for money!? What POS are you dating?
... (read in full...)
Oral sex whilst on my period.
Q. My boyfriend wants to go down on me while I'm on my period. I've never let anyone do this. My only concern is, should I show up with or without a tampon?...
A. 30 March 2010: Ask him.... (read in full...)
Love among the ruins
Q. I hope it's all right if I write. I'm not your traditional client. I'm 62, and I recently bumped (quite accidentally) into my very first real love, a girl for whom I gladly would have died, in 1966. The Vietnam war separated us. She then married ...
A. 30 March 2010: See! Isn't it good that you took the chance? I'm happy that this is all going in the right direction :)... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate to go to a guys house on a second date?
Q. BIG question...What's appropriate for a first or second date? I went to dinner with this guy for our first date and now, he wants me to come over his house and he admitted that he was really attracted to him and joked we might end up in bed or ...
A. 30 March 2010: If you're not ready to sleep with him, then I would suggest avoiding a date at his house. Especially any sort of sexual innuendo jokes gives false expectations, so steer clear of those also if you're not ready for sex with him. Suggest you go see ... (read in full...)
I want to help him with his drug problem but I don't know how to... help!
Q. Hi, i really need help! My boyfriend is a very honest person, he's shared a lot of information with me since we've got together. It's been hard to take it all in; his past etc. However, i'm willing to accept him as a person. I really like him ...
A. 30 March 2010: First you need to realize that a drug addict cannot be helped unless they want to help themselves. You can't help him until he takes the steps himself to cure his drug problem. Second, cocain and mephedrone are not just simple pleasures in life! ... (read in full...)
Spent the night with my ex trying to make my co-worker jealous. Didn't work, and the hickies didn't help either!
Q. i really like a new coworker of mine and we talk to each other at and after work but i dont think shes very interested in me.i spent a night with an ex girlfriend who gave a few hickies and my coworker thought they were gross.i was trying to make ...
A. 30 March 2010: Well what is there to salvage when you didn't really have anything anyway? A lot of girls think that hickies are gross on a guy or girl. Plus, sleeping with another girl typically turns a girl off, we don't want to know or care who you're sleeping ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend raped me. I'd say 'no' but he wouldn't listen!
Q. I was with my boyfriend (21) for 2 and a half years. Im 22. We broke up 8 months ago as it was a terrible emotionally abusive relationship. He was so so nasty that I just cracked and eventually developed some type of anxiety. He cheated on me, ...
A. 30 March 2010: Just because he's your boyfriend doesn't mean that he can't rape you. There are husbands that have raped their wives. If you told him you didn't want to have sex but he persisted and followed through with the act against your wishes, then yes, ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to be less emotional?
Q. Okay I'm a very, VERY emotional person, I always have been and I'm very sensitive. I've had at least 3 people say I'm the most sensitive person they've met. Anyway.. it's actually really annoying and I have a boyfriend who I love alot. I was alwa...
A. 29 March 2010: Get a job in retail or customer service where people constantly bitch at you, bring you close to tears, yet you have to have a smile on your face. That my dear, will make you pretty thick skinned.
Otherwise, you're just sensitive. I'm very sen... (read in full...)
A one sided relationship
Q. i don't even know where to start. i've know this guy for 1 year and 9mth. During the first year we would see each other once or twice and sometimes not at all. We however at times emailed each other. After a year and 4mth he finally committe...
A. 28 March 2010: Wow, that's so funny! It was a good guess, probably because the guy that I've been seeing on and off for about 7 months acts the EXACT same way...typical. And some say astrology is complete BS! lol... (read in full...)
Are irregular periods normal?
Q. omg my period comes 2weeks or sometimes 3weeks..is this normal?? for example: this month it came again after just 2weeks after ive gone of it.. and nest month it will come 3weeks. am not on pills or anything. thnx..x is this ...
A. 28 March 2010: Isn't that kind of an oxymoron??? Are irregular periods normal? Umm if it's irregular, then no, it's not normal. I guess it's somewhat common, I've known a couple girls with irregular periods and there are times when a woman has regular periods ... (read in full...)
Am I just stuck in this rut forever?
Q. I just want a LIFE!! I'm so sick of living in this rut which is such a pathetic excuse for one, but I feel so trapped. I'm so embarrassed, I feel like such a loser. My life sucks!! I've never had a career, just crummy jobs, and I'm trapped in...
A. 28 March 2010: You're only "qualified" to do what you've made yourself qualified to do. You seem too confined, like you can only do one thing. You can do something relating to it, there are jobs out there that you probably haven't heard of that have great ... (read in full...)
Why would a guy ask you if you had a boyfriend in my situation?
Q. What does it mean if a guy asks you if you have a boyfriend? I was seeing this guy casually on and off for about a year (and also sleeping with him), and then one day during the end of last October we had a misunderstanding that caused me to get ...
A. 28 March 2010: Think of it this way: most guys don't want to take you to a movie and want to catch up if they just want to be your friend. In my opinion, I think he's asking you out both out of respect and because he wants to know if it's okay to be a little more ... (read in full...)
He's telling me he thinks it isn't working out ...
Q. Hey everyone. I need help and fast. I met this guy a month ago and we went out 2 weeks later. So far we have been going out for 2 weeks and all of a sudden he is telling me that he thinks its not working out and his feelings are starting to go away. ...
A. 28 March 2010: You've known him a month and spend 30 min. a day with him..hmm I think you'll be fine losing him BUT, contrary to popular belief, if you do hang with your friends and not him, it will make him more interested. Why? Cause he's a boy and wants what ... (read in full...)
Should I cancel this trip so he realizes I'm serious?
Q. I just can't believe the incident that occured with me and my boyfriend. I went to meet him because he was waiting for his daughter to get dropped off by her mother..so, while I'm in the car with him and his daughter he ask's his ex if she needs a ...
A. 28 March 2010: Why are you still with him after the abuse and you don't even want to be with him! Yes! Cancel and trip and dump him if you are not happy. It all comes back on you if you stay with him and you're completely unhappy! Forget proving to him that ... (read in full...)
Am I just stuck in this rut forever?
Q. I just want a LIFE!! I'm so sick of living in this rut which is such a pathetic excuse for one, but I feel so trapped. I'm so embarrassed, I feel like such a loser. My life sucks!! I've never had a career, just crummy jobs, and I'm trapped in...
A. 28 March 2010: Believe it or not, getting up and moving to where you want and doing what YOU want to do isn't that hard. I know there's money involved, but sometimes you need to do small steps to get you to where you need to be.
I've lived in a city much lik... (read in full...)
A one sided relationship
Q. i don't even know where to start. i've know this guy for 1 year and 9mth. During the first year we would see each other once or twice and sometimes not at all. We however at times emailed each other. After a year and 4mth he finally committe...
A. 28 March 2010: Ugh, those are the most annoying kind. Is he a virgo? Haha. Okay besides that foolishness, before you completely dump him, just tell him that you often feel disappointed. It's completely understandable that he needs personal time, we all do and ... (read in full...)
Why do some people find love so easily?
Q. I feel so alone. At 26, I have lots of friends but I want more than just friends. Most of my friends have boyfriends or husbands, and I have no one. The guy I dated moved away several months ago and we don't talk much any more, it makes me so de...
A. 28 March 2010: Hey! I'm right there with ya! I'm also 26 and it seems like a never ending abundance of douchebags keep coming my way! I think around this age you start thinking that you're getting old and that you're not that kid anymore that had years to worry ... (read in full...)
I am attracted to a man who is 14 years older than me...
Q. I am attracted to a man who is 14 years older than me and in a position of authority over me as he is tutoring me for an exam. He has shown an interest in me too with many very flirty texts (the kind that can not be misunderstood) and lots of ...
A. 28 March 2010: So the oldest he is is 35? To me that's not old, but then I'm 26...you're an adult so I don't think that the age thing is that much of an issue. Life experiences etc. would make you less mature than him, but not necessarily in other aspects.
... (read in full...)
Been together with a girl for over 3 years now we're broken up. She has no intention of getting back with me. Please help!
Q. *OP's own title* Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 and a half years. For that length of time it felt as if we were the happiest couple alive. She always told me how I'm the most wonderful guy in the world and even better than the man of h...
A. 27 March 2010: You can't get her back if she doesn't want to be with you. You two are really young and the breakup was probably bound to happen sooner or later. If one person is feeling like the other's happiness is based solely on them and the relationship, it ... (read in full...)
His mum says jump, he asks how high! How do I stop this ruining our marriage?
Q. this is my second marriage been married for 17 years I have 2 grown son's they live on their own and my husband has a daughter that she's married, after 10 years of our marriage my husband's mother moves into U.S. from middleast, our life has been ...
A. 27 March 2010: I don't know if there's really much you can do besides take a little bit more control of the expenses and talk to him. Instead of fighting, try to speak to one another. Have you explained calmly to him like how you explained to us how it's taking ... (read in full...)
Facebook concerns.
Q. *OP's own title* 1, I see more and more people installing something like ""who checked your profile""... That creeps me ,because I do like to check profile with innocent curiosity, but I dont want to look like a stalker because IM not.. Do you gu...
A. 26 March 2010: No, wall interactions don't always count. There is one that tells you who views it more often. I used it once and one of which was a friend who hardly makes wall posts on mine or her own. Maybe it's not completely legit, but if it's based on wall ... (read in full...)
Is this illegal in South Carolina?
Q. I am 18 and my girlfriend is 16 is it legal for us to have sex in the state of South Carolina? If not and we were to get caught would I be branded as a sex offender for the rest of my life? ...
A. 26 March 2010: Google your state laws.... (read in full...)
Facebook concerns.
Q. *OP's own title* 1, I see more and more people installing something like ""who checked your profile""... That creeps me ,because I do like to check profile with innocent curiosity, but I dont want to look like a stalker because IM not.. Do you gu...
A. 25 March 2010: No...they don't. All they do is tell you who of your friends looks at your profile most. I don't think facebook would really allow such a thing anyway because a lot of people would probably quit using it...a lot of people keep tabs on people from ... (read in full...)
Love among the ruins
Q. I hope it's all right if I write. I'm not your traditional client. I'm 62, and I recently bumped (quite accidentally) into my very first real love, a girl for whom I gladly would have died, in 1966. The Vietnam war separated us. She then married ...
A. 8 March 2010: I'm just glad someone likes everyone's answers for once! And everyone agrees!... (read in full...)
Love among the ruins
Q. I hope it's all right if I write. I'm not your traditional client. I'm 62, and I recently bumped (quite accidentally) into my very first real love, a girl for whom I gladly would have died, in 1966. The Vietnam war separated us. She then married ...
A. 7 March 2010: Horseshoes and the dog sounds more like settling to me. You finally found her again and you might as well try! What do you have to lose, right?... (read in full...)
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