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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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Am I just a friend with benefits or are we moving slowly towards a relationship?
Q. I started hanging out with a guy I know. I love spending time with him. I would love very much to be in a relationship with him. I thought that was the way he was headed too. After hanging out for a while we slept together. We text every day (or at ...
A. 19 January 2011: Even after all the disappointment, you must feel at least a little smidge better. You're not guessing how he feels and you're not wondering if you're not showing enough interest and that he's just not getting it. It's out there in the open: he ... (read in full...)
Am I just a friend with benefits or are we moving slowly towards a relationship?
Q. I started hanging out with a guy I know. I love spending time with him. I would love very much to be in a relationship with him. I thought that was the way he was headed too. After hanging out for a while we slept together. We text every day (or at ...
A. 14 January 2011: This is what I did...given one drunken night I texted him (after another boring date with someone else and meeting up with friends) telling him that I liked him. His lame response the next day was, "Hey I got your message." I freaked out, felt ... (read in full...)
S it healthy for a man to masturbate even if his girlfriend will give it to him whenever he wants?
Q. Is it healthy for a man to masturbate even if his live in girlfriend will give it to him whenever he wants? Do I have a right to be upset if he rejects having sex with me time to time yet masturbates instead..keep in mind, two days in a row wihtout ...
A. 13 January 2011: Yes, it's healthy for a man to masturbate even if he has a girlfriend that will give it to him whenever. However, it's not healthy for the relationship if he's replacing having sex with you with masturbation. I think you have a right to be upset ... (read in full...)
Am I just a friend with benefits or are we moving slowly towards a relationship?
Q. I started hanging out with a guy I know. I love spending time with him. I would love very much to be in a relationship with him. I thought that was the way he was headed too. After hanging out for a while we slept together. We text every day (or at ...
A. 13 January 2011: You're friends with benefits. If he's not initiating getting together, you're right, he wants you to do it so that he doesn't come off like a jerk. Just because you are friends with benefits doesn't mean he has to treat you like garbage, but I can ... (read in full...)
I never imagined my affair would leave his wife!
Q. I met this man whilst he was away for 5 months on work and we were instantly drawn to each other without really speaking. When we did talk it turned out he was married with kids, although my moral stance as always been very strong on this sort of ...
A. 12 January 2011: All I have to say and it's usually true is, "You lose them how you got them." So good luck with that. ... (read in full...)
Should we still have sex anyway?
Q. I have been married to my husband for almost 3 yrs, it fell apart because I treated him like a nobody and wasnt very greatful for the things he did for me and our son. And now that I saw my mistakes he chose not to be with me anymore and I ...
A. 11 January 2011: Like you said...you'll be happier temporarily. You're still married but only living together because of financial circumstances; however, if you were still in the same situation but didn't live together would you still want to or even think having ... (read in full...)
Is a threesome a good idea if my boyfriend suggests it?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. He has expressed how he enjoys watching me masturbate with a dildo. He has recently discussed with me how he would enjoy watching me have sex with another man. I just dont want this to ruin our ...
A. 11 January 2011: After your update, you do realize how manipulative your boyfriend sounds, right? He's trying to make you think it's your own idea. "Oh honey, your young sex drive is yearning for more, don't you think you need to get screwed by me and another man ... (read in full...)
I dumped him but should I still wish him a Happy Birthday?
Q. I dated this new guy for a short time and I'm never use to men sister hopping. I tell all men that I don't like men that don't act like gentlemen, this guy expressed "certain" interest in my sister, saying what's wrong with her bf, it got on my ...
A. 11 January 2011: No, you don't owe him anything. I'm pretty sure you did the right thing breaking up with him if he had any sort of interest in your sister. He sounds like a jerk off. I know you want to be nice and you're second-guessing your decision to end ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to not tell anyone I'm pregnant, and that I'm secretly getting an abortion?
Q. I need some good advice, I'm 18 and I'm in college it's my first year. I found out that I'm one month pregnant and I don't know what to do. I feel as if my life is over. I'm thinking about getting an abortion without anyone knowing. Is that wrong, ...
A. 11 January 2011: It's not wrong, but you might want to tell your closest friend. And as C.Grant suggested, it might be at least "courteous" to tell the father of your child since it is his too. But that's up to you and the relationship you have with him. The ... (read in full...)
Could this be a yeast infection or is it an STI/STD Title
Q. ok so.... saturday 8th january i had unprotected sex with a guy while i was drunk. It's the first time i've gone back to a guys house after meeting them that night. and ive only slept with 4 people. The thing is i now have an itching / slightly...
A. 10 January 2011: It sounds like a yeast infection. Get some Monistat if you don't want to see the doc. Get the one for 7-days not the 1-day or 3-day because they probably won't work. If you choose to see the doc, they'll give you some prescription pills and ... (read in full...)
Why are men players?
Q. Why are men Players??? Why do they have a daytime girl and a nite time girl?? ...
A. 10 January 2011: That's kind of generalizing men. I know plenty of women that have different guys for different things as well. Some men aren't ready to settle down yet and are selfish...so they have a few girls around to occupy their time since they don't like ... (read in full...)
I want him to know that I know he was lying!
Q. So I am talking to this guy whom I occasionally work with and I hang out with, we have slept together a few times, we hang out more than anything. So he works alot and the other day it was my birthday and we were suspossed to hang out for my ...
A. 10 January 2011: I know you really, really, really want to call him out on his lie, but I really don't think you should unless you want to come off as total stalker status and he'll probably distance himself even more. Seriously, no one likes to be lied to, it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants two girls to give him a blow job!
Q. My boyfriend really wants to have 2 girls give him a blowjob. I'm not too keen on the idea of one of those girls being me. Should I let him do this with 2 other females so he can get over it and I won't be around to see it?...
A. 9 January 2011: Tell your boyfriend to quit watching porn so much because unless he finds a couple of drunk skanks at a club or posts it on craigslist he's probably not going to find two girls to do that unless he's some Brad Pitt look-a-like. And if you're not ... (read in full...)
What is with his disappearing acts?
Q. I met this guy about 8 months ago. When we met we hit it off great. We had three consecutive dates in a row, spending most of the time talking about our life experiences, music, traveling, etc. Our physical chemistry was fantastic - things happened ...
A. 9 January 2011: Wow, was the anon poster Steve Harvey? Anyway, read Steve Harvey's books about dating. It's a man's perspective on all their BS.
Sorry, but I have to agree with the other posters, but he's stringing you along. He likes having sex with you... (read in full...)
22 year old virgin: weak or responsible?
Q. I am a 22 year old man who is still a virgin. Despite the fact that I am a black belt, eagle scout, and college graduate I still feel like I am a failure because I haven't had sex at my age. I know several women my age that would like me but I am ...
A. 9 January 2011: Maturity. Most people don't think of the consequences of sex, so it's nice to hear that you want to have your life in order before even taking the risk of having sex. It's the rest of us that are weak that give in to having sex.... (read in full...)
Is space needed right now? Men and Women please.
Q. I have been seeing a guy on and off for a very long time. We both decided to give it our all this time and try to work toward a relationship. He lives near me but works in another state about six months out of the year. I usuall fly to see him ...
A. 9 January 2011: You don't need to back off completely, but he needs to put effort in too. Don't text him in the morning, let him text you. If you get in the habit of initiating contact first all the time, it's always going to be that way and you'll get ... (read in full...)
Am I just email entertainment for this leo male?
Q. Need help with mature leo guy! Been emailing this particular leo guy for nearly 6 weeks now, was introduced through a mutual friend, we live in different counties but hope to meet up in a few months. Fairly regular chatting, mild flirting, i ask ...
A. 9 January 2011: Well as far as a perspective without regarding astrology--you are in different countries so his interest level may not be quite as piqued since it's not really consisting of any sort of "realness" so after you meet him, then it would probably be ... (read in full...)
I told him I was a virgin, then he stopped texting me?
Q. So there is this guy and he is in the same organization as me at our university. We would never talk to each other mainly because we couldnt,we had to be serious and we were all busy doing things. After we went on break i noticed that he was liking ...
A. 9 January 2011: Umm I think it's pretty clear that you're interested in him. There's not a whole lot of guess work with that. Let him text you, don't text him anymore unless it's to reply. He might be losing interest because you text for hours? I would be ... (read in full...)
I ended it with a text message!
Q. Hi everyone, wow this is going to be a long story, today I broke up with my ex, my reasons? well I am a very loving, thoughtful, kind, caring person to be with, my faults? I am clingy and needy, I was with my ex from October 2009 till today, we had ...
A. 4 January 2011: You'll meet someone that will make you feel loved all the time--but you do need to learn how to quit taking everything personally and being overly sensitive; otherwise, no one will ever live up to your standards because they don't making you feel ... (read in full...)
We've been dating 10 months and she still doesn't know my number by heart?
Q. So, me and my girlfriend have been dating for 4+ months and I came to realize that she doesn't know my number by heart. No big deal is what I initially thought but then I found out that she still know's her ex's number by heart (they dated for 2 ...
A. 4 January 2011: LOL no! I used to remember phone numbers back in the day when I had to actually dial a number, but these days I don't know anyone's phone numbers. Even previous boyfriends (espcially if they had a different area code with cell phones these days) I ... (read in full...)
Does she actually think I would have a chance with a beautiful model?
Q. My gf and I were watching television the other day and an ad with this attractive model came on, she asked me, 'Would you approach her?', even though she knows I'm not the type to flirt with other women. She doesn't act like the insecure type a...
A. 3 January 2011: She was just testing you to see what your answer would be. She would ask this probably because she is indeed insecure and would want to nitpick and start some sort of argument as to whether or not you find your her attractive enough. If you said ... (read in full...)
Did she let me down softly?
Q. I've known this girl since the start of December. A friend of my cousin, I added her as a friend on facebook and since we've exchanged messages back and forth nearly every day, talking on chat, then MSN, textinge etc, etc We met up recently and that ...
A. 2 January 2011: I'm not really sure what you're missing--but she did give you a flat out "no."
"You're a amazing friend. I don't know how I feel about you yet though so at the time, it's a no - I'm sorry. But if my feelings change I'll let you know straight... (read in full...)
Boyfriend leaves me pregnant and alone, ends things with a text!
Q. Dear cupids, im really confused and dont have a clue what to do or think! My boyfriend and i met just over three years ago. We got together after a few months of dating and will have been together three years in february. Everything has been ...
A. 2 January 2011: Basically, he took the cowardly way out. To play devil's advocate a little though, he no longer has nothing to offer. In his mind he is no longer a "man" and can't provide for you and his child. So he's taking the easy way out by pulling a ... (read in full...)
I was told by my GF :"Girls don't like it when guys last long, they get sore and it hurts down there". Really???
Q. Hi, Happy New Year by the way! So, when I have sex with my girlfriend, first I pleasure her for about 7 minutes until she finishes, then we have sex and I last for about 1 minute on a good night. Now, once I kept "doing it" for a while after I wa...
A. 2 January 2011: Personally, I feel the same way. There is such a thing as lasting too long. Do women want it to be over with in 30 seconds? No! That's just as bad and probably worse. BUT the marathon guy that keeps going...and going...and going becomes boring ... (read in full...)
Dating my ex girlfriend's best friend has turned into hell! Everyone hates me!
Q. I am dating my ex-girlfriend's best friend and everyone is mad at me and hates me except for my girlfriend. I love her a lot but my life is starting to be a living hell. Do you think it was a bad choice to go out with her? If no how do i get them to ...
A. 2 January 2011: Well they probably hate you because maybe they don't want to take it out on your new girlfriend, but they probably hate her too. It's usually not the best idea to go out with your ex's friends--same with your ex's friend going out with you. So you ... (read in full...)
My mom won't forgive my boyfriend
Q. my mom won't forgive my boyfriend. yes, he's bipolar and a recovering addict and has done some things that should be deemed unforgiveable (stealing $400 from her, flipping out on her etc.) but now he's in a mental rehabilitation home and even ...
A. 31 December 2010: Yeah, but you need to put yourself in her shoes. If someone wanted to impose a relationship on you that you didn't want to have with someone would you really like it? It's understandable that you're annoyed that she gets upset and raises her voice ... (read in full...)
My mom won't forgive my boyfriend
Q. my mom won't forgive my boyfriend. yes, he's bipolar and a recovering addict and has done some things that should be deemed unforgiveable (stealing $400 from her, flipping out on her etc.) but now he's in a mental rehabilitation home and even ...
A. 28 December 2010: Why is she ignorant? Because she doesn't "like" or want to trust someone that's stolen from her or disrespected her? I think your mom has every right to not like him or want to be around him. Why should she be judged for not wanting to be near a ... (read in full...)
Why don't babyboomers want their adult children to leave home?
Q. This seems to be a common problem. I know I have this problem and from other posts here, I'm not alone. I utterly hate it how the media often portrays us young adults as slackers and child- adults, it makes me mad. I actually want to leave home and ...
A. 28 December 2010: How do I not understand? My parents are baby boomer generation and they've let me stay with them as long as I want. Do I choose to? No. So please explain how I don't understand. And why would your parents swear at your cousins? They're not ... (read in full...)
Was this emotional abuse by my bf?
Q. Was I in an emotionally abusive relationship? We dated for five years but in order for him to accept me, he wanted me to loose weight i am 124lbs 5'3 and he would sometimes be like, 'oh why arent you wearing makeup?'. or like, 'I dont want to hav...
A. 25 December 2010: Yes, sure sounds like it! Sounds like you're not together anymore...hopefully?! Are you wondering about it now because you're feeling really insecure or having trouble getting into another relationship?... (read in full...)
He says that all I do is bitch at him but I'm just trying to help him!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year... I love him very much and want to spend my life with him... But he doesn't make the right decisions for his life... He's scared of having cancer, but he smokes a pack if not more of cigarettes a day, ...
A. 23 December 2010: Even though you are trying to help him--and what you nag him about is common sense stuff. But nobody wants another mommy to try to run their life. He's an adult and is entitled to make not-so-smart decisions. Although, I could see it annoying if ... (read in full...)
Jealous girlfriend , my fault I hit her ?
Q. My girlfriend is bi polar and jealous. She caught me with porn and got really mad about it she wol't let me have female friend and I don't care about that because I don't want her to have male friends so we made a deal no friends of oppisite sexes. ...
A. 23 December 2010: You do realize that she can (and should) press charges on you for battery and you can have some big boys "beat the shit" out of you in jail? NO, it is not her fault that you hit her. It's your fault because you have no self control and you date ... (read in full...)
Why don't babyboomers want their adult children to leave home?
Q. This seems to be a common problem. I know I have this problem and from other posts here, I'm not alone. I utterly hate it how the media often portrays us young adults as slackers and child- adults, it makes me mad. I actually want to leave home and ...
A. 22 December 2010: Probably because they know that being an adult on your own is hard and they have the means to support you at home. If they had to do it over again they would have stayed home and finished school, which is what they usually want you to do. Parents ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a secret dating profile
Q. Recently, I was randomly googling people I know out of intense boredom. I googled my boyfriend and I found his dating profile on some sleazy site. His pictures consisted of inappropriate shots of him that he had sent to me when we were forced to be ...
A. 22 December 2010: Those are better questions for your boyfriend. We don't have those answers--he does. You need to tell him you found out about the profile and make a decision as to whether or not you want to stay with him.
But a wild guess...the pictures... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of my partner's kids
Q. Why am i so jealous of my partners 2 kids. We only have them every other weekend and holidays but I'm having a very hard time with this. I know its not right but I am jealous...
A. 22 December 2010: I'm guessing because you don't have children of your own? Maybe it's not necessarily the children you're jealous of, but that they're not your children that your partner is paying attention to. After all, they are just innocent children, there ... (read in full...)
Getting married in 11 days...but I'm scared and going to miss my family!! How do I deal with it??
Q. I am 21 years old and will be getting married in 11 days. I've lived in the same house my entire life and with the exception of my brother moving to Texas, my family has always been around. After the wedding I'm moving to Florida where my fiance has ...
A. 20 December 2010: Just keep in contact with your family often. It's normal to get homesick. When I moved away from my parents at first, I got pretty homesick. Just keep in mind that over time the feeling will pass. Call them when you miss them and keep yourself ... (read in full...)
Ouch!! I just saw my half-brother and my step brother making out!!
Q. This story is really akward and amusing, I think. My parents had to leave Friday suddenly because my grandmother is ill and in the hospital. They left me in charge of my half brother, whose 14 and my stepbrother whose 15. After I got home from wo...
A. 20 December 2010: Hmmm...tough situation. It's good that you don't seem to be freaking out about it. I wouldn't tell your parents either. If one was an adult and the other wasn't then I would suggest it, but this would just embarrass them even more. I think if I ... (read in full...)
Did I deserve getting hurt?
Q. Before i write this i know some people are probably thinking i deserved what happened but here goes. I was out one night with some friends and a guy i know was there too. Me and him had a casual thing a while ago but that finished. I regr...
A. 19 December 2010: No, no one deserves to be hurt. But even if you were a "willing" participant I think that since you were under the influence he did take advantage of you. I'm not saying it's an excuse, but alcohol does impair your judgement--we all know that. ... (read in full...)
Where did my beautiful loving wife go?
Q. My wife and I have 3 boys and have been married for 8 years. This year just after our anniversary my wife began an affair. She had become increasingly distant, and I finally asked her what was going on after 6 weeks without intimacy. She flatly told ...
A. 19 December 2010: This just happened to my family. My mother changed and left my father heartbroken after being together for 28-years. I won't go into details on here but she turned on him and makes stuff up. To her it all seemed like a game and making him suffer ... (read in full...)
Did I blow it by telling him I was attracted?
Q. so i have a dilemma. i met this guy about two years ago. we were both single, and he showed interest, but i didn't really take the bait too fast, i didn't want to seem easy. as time passed we hung out and went on a couple casual dates, but somehow ...
A. 17 December 2010: Eh...I think if he had a mutual interest he wouldn't get "freaked out." He might have been freaked out a little, but I'm sure he was still flattered. I'm not sure exactly what you told him...but a rule of thumb: don't ever let a guy know how much ... (read in full...)
Very disturbing behaviour from my son
Q. Hi everyone, I hope you can take the time to help! I have a ten year old son, and since he was born he's been the sweetest, smartest, and generous boy I've ever known and wanted. He did his homework every night and I've never had to ask him twice to ...
A. 17 December 2010: Wow! At first I was thinking that he was going through some "dark" phase, but I kept reading and yes, that's scary! I think he needs to see a therapist stat! But there must have been something that triggered all this. Do you know if he's had any ... (read in full...)
His teenage daughters and ex dictate his life!
Q. my boyf of two years has two kids - 18 yr old girl and 16 old boy who have never liked me even though i've made the effort but they claim they want to see their daddy 'alone'. we split up for 6 months and during that period they have started to ...
A. 15 December 2010: Wow...his kids aren't little anymore? They're still teenagers and need their father! If my father was dating you, I probably wouldn't like you either. Sounds to me like you're trying to control his life and not let him see his kids. And you're ... (read in full...)
Do you sometimes have to play games in relationships?
Q. Do you sometimes have to play games in relationships? I met a guy a short while ago and he came on really, really strong...not sexually, but lovingly and wanting a relationship. He kept saying he was afraid to get involved with me because he worri...
A. 14 December 2010: What a jerk! He has problems...I used to see a guy that acted very similar to that and trust me, they don't change and they only piss you off more. He doesn't even deserve to have you as a friend.... (read in full...)
Will a woman always love her special man?
Q. slight follow up to my current main serious question posted on the 13th dec. will a woman always love that 1 special person no matter what? they might have afew bfs or loads, but is there always that special 1 that she will always have feelings fo...
A. 14 December 2010: Sometimes...but then sometimes you move on and your feelings change. The feelings you once thought you would always have start to fade away with time, especially if you don't keep in contact or if things have somehow gone downhill with whatever ... (read in full...)
Do you sometimes have to play games in relationships?
Q. Do you sometimes have to play games in relationships? I met a guy a short while ago and he came on really, really strong...not sexually, but lovingly and wanting a relationship. He kept saying he was afraid to get involved with me because he worri...
A. 12 December 2010: Did you leave something out? I don't really see how you've come across as desperate? If anything, the way you described him, he needs to be on medication or something. Sounds like a weirdo. Plus he was incarcerated? What are you doing getting ... (read in full...)
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