A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met my bf online January of this year. We talked for a while and he finally asked if i was willing to have a long distance relationship with him at the end of June. I want him to move in with me and he wants to move in with me as well. The thing is I was wondering if this is considered too soon? My ex and I moved in together after 5 months of dating and I realize now that it was too soon. But by the time he moves in with me we will have had a "relationship" for 10 months. I need to convince my parents because they bought my house for me (I'm maiking payments to them since I didn't have the credit to get a loan myself) and they have made it clear that they say who can and cannot live here. I'm a little annoyed by that because a bank you have a mortgage with doesn't say who can and cannot live with you...but that's off the point. Is this too soon? and if not how do I convince my parents that this is the right choice for me. My ex and I split up last november and I think they might think it's too soon after kicking my last bf out...
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Yes, it's too soon. You need to be around each other in person first, not go straight from 'dating' online to living together. It's the easiest way to find out things about someone you didn't want to know, and could result in a lot of tension because you're not used to being around each other so much.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (16 September 2010):
I think you should be in your "relationship" in (sorry don't have a better choice of words)real life before you move him in. If you've been in a long-distance relationship for 10 months it's totally different than actually not being in one. Of course everyone gets along great in a long distance relationship, you miss each other more than anything. I too hope you've already met him in person.
In the end, it's up to you. But I think you may be thinking it's too soon; otherwise, you wouldn't be concerned about this. If your parents feel one way, there's really no way to convince them otherwise. I do agree it's silly that they want to choose who lives with you considering that you're paying the mortgage and you're an adult. I would assume they wouldn't be okay with it, and I think it's reasonable for them to feel that way. But I think you should hold off on him actually moving in with you. If he wants to live in the same town, then that's a good starting off point, but it's probably best to wait on the living together situation.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Have you met this guy in person I'm hoping? If not then, please do not move someone into your home you don't know. That's pretty nice of your parents to buy you a house, but technically it is your roof because you are making payments to them. It's been a year, so I can understand where you may feel you're ready but then again there's your doubts. Your parents are just looking out for your best interest and trying to make you see where the door to your home shouldn't be a revolving door, moving in guys and then kicking them out when you guys break-up. If you see this relationship being long term potentially marriage in the future then I would say go ahead. Honestly it's up to your parents, you have to ask them if it's ok to move him in. Point out that is is your home, you're paying them back jus like you would a bank, so you should have the right to say who can and can't live there. However, if they say "no" then you have your answer.
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