Like what
she writes?
... Add *enta to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *enta a private message | | | *enta's profile:I'm a married, 41-year-old, working mother of 2 sons, ages 2 and 3. I live in the S.W. United States, near the Pacific Ocean. We live on one income (mine); my husband is a stay-at-home father, and he's great with our kids. |
|
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 4 October 2007: One last one. Is there a way when we're posting a URL for the query string to be hyperlinked too? Otherwise the link doesn't go to the right place. thanks!... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 2 October 2007: Sorry to keep asking for more stuff, but since you're asking... [grin].
Is there any way we can edit our own posts? (Maybe with an "edited by __" added underneath). I can't tell you how often I've hit "Add Your Answer" only to find that I'v... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 2 October 2007: It might help with knowing which anon poster said what, but it won't help the order problem, lol. But thanks.
It's just weird when someone says "Do this" and you respond "That's what I always do". But IN BETWEEN another post comes up and says... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 2 October 2007: Hi Andrew,
not sure what you mean by ID numbers. What do the numbers refer to?
-p... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 2 October 2007: Hi again.
You said: "Penta. If you have a good answer to an old question you can just copy and paste the full link and point the asker there."
Yeah, I know that, it's just that once it's off "my" page it's hard to find. Maybe if we can add to... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 2 October 2007: It would be nice if things were posted in order. I know that some are moderated and take longer to post, but then suddenly your answer doesn't apply (maybe you responded to the "last" post, and then there are two posts in-between).
About the rati... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 28 September 2007: I'd love to be able to see (in aggregate for each question) how my answers were rated. It would be nice if that could appear on my page or on my account. If my rating takes a hit, it would be nice to know which advice did it...... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Wanted, your ideas for features and improvements!
Q. Hi I'm looking to get some input from everyone on what you'd like to see on the site. How can I make it easier to use? What new features would you like to see? Any annoyances or bugs you'd like to fix? Can I make the moderati...
A. 27 September 2007: I'm not sure how this would be programmed, but there are lots of questions that are basically variations of other questions, and I feel like I'm typing the same thing I said to someone else. Is there a way to just say: go to this question and read ... (read in full...)
He told me he pleasures himself while thinking of three specific ex's of his!! I just feel as though I'm not enough for him, but should I really worry?
Q. Hey, I recently had a conversation with my boyfriend about what he masturbates to. He said that he masturbates to me most of the time. And then he tells me sometimes porn and sometimes his ex-girfriends--Paige, Allie, and Kathleen I automatically ...
A. 27 September 2007: Well, you don't need to be concerned about him. He has his head on strait. If he wanted to be with Paige, Allie or Kathleen he wouldn't have left them. He's with you because he WANTS to be. You obviously have the qualities he's looking for in a ... (read in full...)
My bf already has a son, but I want to have a child together. He says that he doesn't want another child, though!
Q. Hi there everyone... I'm with my boyfriend nearly 2 years now. I'm 30 and he's 33 and already has a young son who is 9 but I feel like I want a baby of my own with him. He says he doesn't want another child cos he has a son already... I'...
A. 27 September 2007: If you want children you need to find another man to father them. Believe him when he says he doesn't want one, and find the strength to leave. You can't compromise on children, and getting pregnant over his objection isn't fair to the child.
... (read in full...)
It seems as if I wind up in many bad relationships. How do I break this vicious cycle?
Q. It seems as if I wind up in many bad relationships. First, it was just the friends that liked to cause a little trouble. Then, friends that project a certain image they want in a friend on me and when I don't fit to what they want, I'm insulted. ...
A. 27 September 2007: Be alone for a while. Work on things that make you confident in yourself (school, sport, hobby, career, whatever you like that makes you feel good about yourself).
CONFIDENCE IS SEXY. Believe it.
When you're comfortable with yourself, y... (read in full...)
Too much too late?
Q. Have been married 18 yrs and 3 kids 17, 15, 11, last few years Ive been unhappy. I finnaly told husband I wasnt happy and I dont have the same feelings for him. Now he is trying to change over night and do things he has never done, do dished, ...
A. 27 September 2007: You said: "good advise, but what if over the last couple years I dont enjoy being with him, would prefer him to come home late from work and generally dont enjoy his company"
Did you ever tell him this? Did you ever give him a chance to change? ... (read in full...)
Too much too late?
Q. Have been married 18 yrs and 3 kids 17, 15, 11, last few years Ive been unhappy. I finnaly told husband I wasnt happy and I dont have the same feelings for him. Now he is trying to change over night and do things he has never done, do dished, ...
A. 27 September 2007: This is from http://www.MortFertel.com/ [Mariage tele boot camp]:
You can always call it quits. You always have that option. But once you pull that trigger, it's over. No more chances.
Your life will never be the same. Your kids' lives will n... (read in full...)
How do I convince a man to have a baby with me?
Q. how do i convice a man to have a baby with me ?? i really want another baby only i want this one to be his .. ...
A. 27 September 2007: Marriage before children is more than an old-fashioned idea. It's a contract that has legal protections for you and any children. Should anything bad happen (not just breakups, but also death of you or your BF if you get hit by a bus) then the ... (read in full...)
Should we have a baby? I'm 19, he's 28
Q. I think I want a baby, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. we get on well some of the time and we have discussed it before. how do I know if its right or not? Im nearly 19 and he is 28. ...
A. 27 September 2007: Marriage is more than an old-fashioned idea. It's a contract that has legal protections for you and any children. Should anything bad happen (not just breakups, but also death of you or your BF) the marriage laws protect you.
Please consider... (read in full...)
I feel less fun in comparison to his ex, I've never felt insecure like this before.
Q. I can't stop checking up on my boyfriend's ex girlfriend. We have been together for 7 months, and he broke up with his ex girlfriend bout 10 months ago (he broke up with her). I've never felt insecure or obsessive like this before, I don't know ...
A. 26 September 2007: Never compare your insides to someone else's outsides. Believe me, she's wondering if that dress makes her look fat too. You look at all of your shortcomings with a microscope, because you "know" exactly what they are. But you don't do that to ... (read in full...)
How will I know when I'm ready to have Sex with him?
Q. hiya all i have been with my bf for a month now and we have dun pretty much everything apart from have sex.We are both still virgins, and he seys hes ready to have sex and hes being really good about it and is not pressuring me at all, but how will ...
A. 26 September 2007: You can only loose your virginity once. If you put it off now, you can always decide to do it later. But if you do it too soon then it's done.
A month is a really short time. There's a difference in every relationship between infatuat... (read in full...)
I miss him so much and I'm afraid he will meet someone else please help.
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago and when I asked him back he said no he had enough of the fighting and he loves me, I'm his soulmate and hopefully things will be different someday. I didn't trust him and it wasn't his fault, I had some ...
A. 26 September 2007: Does he know you're in counseling? If not, you should tell him. Let him know what you're learning there. Then ask him if his "had enough" means for now, or for ever. He did say that he wishes things were different, and you are working on them. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend placed an ad seeking a bi couple for sex. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend placed a personals ad seeking a bi couple for sex. What should I do? ...
A. 26 September 2007: If you can find a way to trust him again, and know that he's not going to do this again, then I say you can try again. But if you're going to be looking over his shoulder every time then you should leave now. You have to be in a relationship where ... (read in full...)
My period is iregular, delayed, long. Any advice except for the pills?
Q. hi everyone! i didnt have my period for about 2 months, so when it came, i had them for more than 2 weeks. that's REALLY annoying, because it takes a long time before it ends and when i go to school it gets more annoying! arhgh! help! ps: do ...
A. 26 September 2007: If your doctor prescribes pills for an irregular, painful period, then you just tell your dad the truth (or better yet, ask the doctor to tell him). Before gearing up for the appointment, make a point of complaining about your painful periods, so ... (read in full...)
Wondering if he's too big for me and so if it will hurt the first time.
Q. Hi.. i'm 16 and i'm wondering if my boyfriends penis will "fit" in my vagina the first time we have sex.. it looks so big when i give him oral and i'm afraid that i'll bleed and that it will hurt because i'm a virgin! please help!...
A. 26 September 2007: It doesn't always hurt on the first time. It depends a lot on your physiology and how slowly you take it. If you've already "popped your cherry" (broken your hymen, like on a bike or something like that -- which is possible) then it's even less ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend placed an ad seeking a bi couple for sex. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend placed a personals ad seeking a bi couple for sex. What should I do? ...
A. 25 September 2007: Answer the ad to make sure it's him. Show up at the appointed time and blast him. (Print this Q&A out so that he knows this is what you're doing.)
If it really is him, when you have proof, leave him. The trust is gone and you're better off with... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and have never had a bf - what am I doing wrong?!
Q. Im 18 and I have never had a boyfriend before. I have no idea what im doing wrong. I go to college, I am physically attractive (Guys look at me all the time), and I definately have a nice personality (I make friends easily and keep them. S...
A. 25 September 2007: Confidence is sexy. Be okay with who you are and don't worry about the guys. They'll come once you don't need them, lol.
Every time I have been desperate for a boyfriend it's like they could smell the neediness on me and the ran for the hills. ... (read in full...)
Does this mean that he likes me and doesn't want to be disrespectful toward my relationship?
Q. I have this guy friend who is always asking me for advice. He likes this girl who won't give him the time of day. At least not any more. She did for about a minute. Then she without even getting to know him she changed her mind. I have tried to...
A. 25 September 2007: First, leave the jerk. No matter how bad he is, it's bad policy to test the waters with someone else when you have a current relationship. (It might be why this guy doesn't pursue you.) And if he really is a jerk then you and your kids better off ... (read in full...)
How do I get through to this guy that I'm already committed to my bf??
Q. i have a friend at work who has started showing an intrest in me. have told him from the word go that i have a boyfriend whom i am commited to. He also acknowldges that he has a girlfriend but he only wants to know me better personally. He insists ...
A. 25 September 2007: Do not be alone with him. It's just an invitation to continue.
If he invites you someplace, ask him if it's okay to bring your bf. If no, then "Oh, well I was going to spend that time with him, so if he can't come then I'm not interest... (read in full...)
Went to Oktoberfest and slept with a co-worker (even though I have a girlfriend)... I'm disgusted with myself!
Q. Dear All, I am in a world of pain. Never have I felt like this before. I went to Oktoberfest on the weekend and I slept with a girlf from work even though I have a girlfriend of 4 years. I am disgusted with my actions. This is the first time I...
A. 25 September 2007: First, go get tested for STDs. You don't know this other girls history, and it's possible. The last thing you want is for your girl to find out by getting one.
Then, if there is a 1/100 chance that she could find out from someone else (one of ... (read in full...)
Could my son be gay? He has an odd friendship with a (much) older man...
Q. My 17 year old son has befriended a 58 year old man. He visits him every week and stays all day says he has a bbq and a few drinks. He says he finds he can talk to the man easier than talking to me or his mother. He receives a lot of gifts some exp...
A. 25 September 2007: Even if he's gay, that's not the problem. The relationship with the older man is. It may be harmless, but I wouldn't assume so until proven.
Ask your son to invite his "friend" to dinner. See if that sets off any bells. This kind of thing di... (read in full...)
My husband is addicted to porn.
Q. I find that my husband watches porn every day even though he knows I don't like it. It makes me jealous because I now feel that he is looking for someone with bigger tits and better looking. It hurts my feelings but he says I am just a crazy ...
A. 24 September 2007: If he really wanted someone with bigger tits, he'd leave you for someone who had bigger tits. Watching some fake-tits woman on the screen isn't any commentary on you, or his feelings for you. Guys like to look. That's all it is.
That said, ev... (read in full...)
Baby time or not?
Q. Now I've finished college I'm considering coming off the pill and trying for a baby with my boyfriend of 16 months. He's 22 and already has a 2 year old son with his ex, and is dying to start a family with me. I really want to too, but something's ...
A. 24 September 2007: The thing that's holding you back is your common sense. A baby deserves a much more stable situation to be born into. Marriage isn't some old-fashioned idea of morals. When you're married you have legal benefits and rights that will help the ... (read in full...)
If I could I'd express my love to him now, but 14-15 is a bit young to lose my virginity, is it not?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are soo in love, we've been together for almost a year [11 months and 22 days] And we've discussed having sex for the past few months, i am not pressured at all and we're very matture about the subject. We've discussed contrcep...
A. 23 September 2007: Once lost is lost. Wait at least until you're 16 then discuss it again. At that time you may still decide to wait, but at least you'll still have it for the discussion.... (read in full...)
My wife became depressed after having our first child. She has now met new male friends over the internet. Is there a cause for concern here?
Q. My wife and I have been married three years and we've had a great relationship. She was recently depressed after having our first child and turned to the internet to find happiness. She has new male friends, should I be concerned? She told me she ...
A. 21 September 2007: Depressed people can do things that they later regret. The "pretend" relationship would bother me, even though I myself have several online friends.
Ask her if she'd mind you looking over her shoulder while she typed to this guy, and see what she... (read in full...)
My friends said they were coming to my wedding and then didnt show!
Q. I got married last weekend. I invited 15 of my own friends. Only 2 came, and they left really early too. About 8-10 other friends rsvp'd and said they were coming. They didn't show and only one bothered to tell me she couldn't make it because she ...
A. 21 September 2007: These are not your friends. Move on without a backward glance. Make new friends along with your new husband. Good luck to you.... (read in full...)
How likely is it to get pregnant when only the pull-out method is used?
Q. Hey guys...=) Well basicly last night I had unprotected sex...i know it was stupid...I definatly wont be taking risks again... i know the guy/his history etc so STI'S isn't an issue... but I'm worried there could be a possibility of getting pregn...
A. 21 September 2007: And how much do you trust him? My sister dated someone who said he'd pull out and didn't. He wanted to get her pregnant because then "she'd never leave." She was 16. Thankfully she didn't get pregnant and she left him. Jerk.
Don't leave th... (read in full...)
He's hanging out with hsi mates 24/7 and makes my asking for a bit of time sound like a chore. Any tips?
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for nearly two and a half years,we've always had a great relationship but recently he's been hanging out with his mates 24/7 i wouldnt really have a problem with it but when i want to see him he's never around he's always ...
A. 21 September 2007: He knows where you are. If he wanted to be with you he'd work to be with you. You're not his priority right now, and you can't MAKE him change his priorities.
Let him know that you would prefer to be with someone who will make YOU a priority... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I have herpes, I want to break up but I am afraid no one else will want me
Q. My bf and i have herpes. We found out a year ago and im still with him. I think i am with him cause im afraid someone else wont want me. He's getting mean. I wanna be with sumone else sum1 older but i dont kno if he likes me since we only e mail ...
A. 21 September 2007: Once again Frank is giving some good advice.
I knew someone who got herpes. She still found someone to love and they even had a child. Your life isn't over. Leave this guy.
Many of us are paralyzed; we prefer the hell we know to the poss... (read in full...)
I have not had a period in 2 weeks now, I have done pregnancy tests and all negative.
Q. I have not had a period in 2 weeks now, I have done pregnancy tests and all negative. I was on the microgyon pill and missed 4 pills 2 in the 2 week and 2 in the last week. My periods are always on time and i am never late only when i was pregnant ...
A. 20 September 2007: there are lots of things that can cause you to be late. Stress is one of them. I would go see a doctor and make sure, especially since you've been pregnant before and don't feel the way you felt before (my second time I knew BEFORE it was time to ... (read in full...)
What is the ideal penis size?
Q. What do women consider to be an ideal penis size? My friend told me all women want a penis that's at least 8 inches long and 6 inches around. Is this true? I'm way below these numbers in both categories and I'm really afraid to have sex, now. Any ...
A. 20 September 2007: 6 inches around? Yeouch! Keep that thing away from me...
It really matters more how he uses it. There is no perfect size.... (read in full...)
Can someone explain the reasoning behind what people talk about as "stains" in a males' underwear and how that relates to possible cheating?
Q. I feel a bit uneducated in this matter and want someone to explain the reasoning behind what people talk about as "stains" in a males underwear and how that relates to possible cheating? Could someone enlighten me on what this is all about please...
A. 20 September 2007: Unless the stains are lipstick I'm at a loss to explain how that relates to possible cheating. How 'bout it Aunts, anything?... (read in full...)
Is okay to go to 2nd or 3rd base with a person you are not dating?
Q. hiya I was just wondering what peoples opinion was on the subject of going to second or third base ( ie oral sex and handjobs etc) whilst not being in a relationship with the person? Is this considered slutty behaviour? ...
A. 20 September 2007: Wow! When did Oral Sex become only 3rd base?! Yikes.
I was going to answer that it was okay to get to 3rd with someone you weren't dating, but when I read your question fully, I would NOT recommend it, for exactly the reasons AskEve has mentione... (read in full...)
Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?
Q. Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?? During High School she had sex with 3 guys. 2 of them were boyfriends and one was a friend who she had a crush on. She had sex a total of 4 times in high school. A few weeks be...
A. 20 September 2007: If she had a pattern of lying about everything, then I'd agree with you. You said it was about this one thing, and that otherwise she was an angel in every way. And looking at your response I can understand why she did what she did. I'm not ... (read in full...)
My friend stopped replying to my text messages. What should I do?
Q. i have an odd relationship with a friend who is a boy. we've known each other for about 5yrs and we both like each other alot (and know we both do) but yet we aren't dating! we always seem to be texting each other but last week he suddenly stopped ...
A. 20 September 2007: There are any number of reasons he's stopped -- including having lost his phone. Use another method of communication (face-to-face, e-mail, parents' phone) to say, "Hey, I haven't heard from you in a while. What's up?"... (read in full...)
Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?
Q. Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?? During High School she had sex with 3 guys. 2 of them were boyfriends and one was a friend who she had a crush on. She had sex a total of 4 times in high school. A few weeks be...
A. 19 September 2007: So you tricked her into revealing something she obviously wanted to keep private, then reacted exactly the way she feared, which validates her feeling that you didn't need to know! Pretty underhanded.
It's not like she cheated on you. It reall... (read in full...)
She laughed of my body as we were getting intimate. What should I do?
Q. Me and my girlfriend were "getting in the mood", but when I dropped my pants she laughed and said I was small. What should I do?...
A. 19 September 2007: My husband told me about an ex who got out a ruler and measured him. So when she was done he grabbed the ruler and put it across her butt and measured that. She was very unhappy, but she got the point. Note, also, that they didn't date for very ... (read in full...)
Should I just leave it in the past or take a chance?
Q. Hi I need some advice. There is this guy that I think about constantly. I met him years ago, I was seeing this guy and he was their best friend. We had a connection and the guy I was seeing noticed and asked if I liked him. Basically they t...
A. 19 September 2007: You missed your chance, move on. Even if you HAD tried it, it might not have worked. Don't trade your loving relationship for 'what if.'
... (read in full...)
He has been violent. Is he sorry? Can he change?
Q. hi there i really dont know how to start this but my partner of 2 1/2 years has been violent since we brought our home together approx 18 months ago i always thought it was me that got him worked up by things i did or said. he told me it was my ...
A. 19 September 2007: Whether he's sorry NOW means NOTHING. No one gets to hit you. EVER. No one deserves to be hit, and nothing you did "caused" him to hit you.
Being "sorry" is part of the honeymoon cycle of abuse. He WILL hit you again if you let him in your lif... (read in full...)
Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?
Q. Was my wife overly promiscuous or fairly normal before we got together?? During High School she had sex with 3 guys. 2 of them were boyfriends and one was a friend who she had a crush on. She had sex a total of 4 times in high school. A few weeks be...
A. 19 September 2007: I don't think she was overly promiscuous in her past. But here's an important question: so what if she was? It's her PAST. You've found no fault in her for 20 years. Why now? Nothing has changed but you.
Get over it. Fast. She can't ch... (read in full...)
My friend is unsure about staying w/ her bf. We're going out soon, how should I tell her I like her?
Q. Ive met this girl in college ive known for about a month now. We both are really good mates and like doing the same stuff. She is really hot and I am going out with her soon. I fancy her but dont know what to do. She has a bf but shes mentioned she ...
A. 18 September 2007: This one is hard. You don't want to be the rebound guy, but you don't want to be stuck in the "friend zone" either. Whatever you do, don't do anything with her until she's clear of the bf. If she's upset because he's messing around, then you ... (read in full...)
I don't know how she'd take it if I tell her how I feel about her!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have this very good female friend I am seriously attracted to. We find each other beautiful and appreciate each other's friendship. However, I crave some intimacy with this friend. Even though she's said she loves me, I don't know how...
A. 18 September 2007: You have to weigh the possible benefits against the possible loss. If you tell her and she bolts, you've lost the friendship. If you don't tell her and you keep things as you have, you may lose the opportunity for more than friendship.
You k... (read in full...)
| *enta's friends
These are mutual friends, so *enta has
added them and they have added *enta!
|
