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... Send *enta a private message | | | *enta's profile:I'm a married, 41-year-old, working mother of 2 sons, ages 2 and 3. I live in the S.W. United States, near the Pacific Ocean. We live on one income (mine); my husband is a stay-at-home father, and he's great with our kids. |
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Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 29 October 2007: You've made a nice clean break. Keep it that way. If he had wanted you, he would have called you "in about a week" like you requested in your text message. IMHO, he definitely missed out on a true chance at a wonderful relationship. His loss. ... (read in full...)
I don't know how she'd take it if I tell her how I feel about her!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have this very good female friend I am seriously attracted to. We find each other beautiful and appreciate each other's friendship. However, I crave some intimacy with this friend. Even though she's said she loves me, I don't know how...
A. 18 September 2007: You have to weigh the possible benefits against the possible loss. If you tell her and she bolts, you've lost the friendship. If you don't tell her and you keep things as you have, you may lose the opportunity for more than friendship.
You k... (read in full...)
We live in a really high crime and polluted area b/c my husband doesn't want to quit his job! Help!
Q. I hate where my husband and I live. I've lived here all my life (I'm 25) and my husband (24) moved here about 6 years ago. It's been fine up until the last several years. Now, for some reason, everything about this place is taking a dive. We b...
A. 18 September 2007: You can't tell ANYONE how they're SUPPOSED to feel! "To him, his job is his life." This is his life, his feelings. To tell him that the way he feels is wrong is really uncaring.
How would you feel if you had your "dream job" and your spouse w... (read in full...)
When will the pill take effect? I started it on the 2nd day of my period.
Q. Hey! I have just gone on the pill this week and i started it on the 2nd day of my period, i was just wondering when it will be effective? As i've heard within 7 days and i've also heard after the first pack......
A. 18 September 2007: depends on which pill you're taking. call your doctor and ask.... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and I want a baby!
Q. i am 16 and i lost a baby with my boyfriend who i have been with for 1 year and a half my mam did not no i was pregnant and now she has just found out i am haveing sex and i really want to try for anouther my mam thinks it will spoil my life but my ...
A. 18 September 2007: Wow. You are REALLY young if you think that 48 is "getting on," lol. Your parents ARE NOT old. They could live another 30-40 years! More than enough time for you to finish growing up yourself, finish college, get a career and settle down.
... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and I want a baby!
Q. i am 16 and i lost a baby with my boyfriend who i have been with for 1 year and a half my mam did not no i was pregnant and now she has just found out i am haveing sex and i really want to try for anouther my mam thinks it will spoil my life but my ...
A. 17 September 2007: I don't think you have thought this through. I'm a recent mother (ages 2 and 3.5). Babies take A LOT of time (24/7 time, you can't give it back when you're exhausted and it's crying at 3:30 in the morning. Which they do. A lot). And they'... (read in full...)
My boyfriend just got grounded
Q. My boyfriend just got grounded for a couple of weeks and hes not allowed to call me but a couple of days ago we had sex and I might be pregnant hes worried over this severly but I dont know if I am or not and when I do find out I have no way of ...
A. 17 September 2007: First, find out whether you actually are pregnant. Get a pregnancy test, go to a clinic, see a doctor, something. Be positive about your status. When you know for sure you'll be able to include him in your plans. Second, do you see him at schoo... (read in full...)
We are meant to be together, but he can't accept what I did before...
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for seven months now, and we both know that we are meant for each other. However, a year and a half ago i ended a relationship with another man because he cheated on me bad and treated me like absolute shit. i was with...
A. 17 September 2007: No one can change their past. If he can't leave it in the past, then the two of you have no future. Put it to him that bluntly. And if he keeps holding it over you, hold your head up and leave with no regrets. Anything less will make you ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to sleep with an ex?
Q. hay guys is it ok to have sex with an x? right heres my story! we broke up 3 weeks ago and been meeting to hang out as friends eva since as we have kinda been mates before! weve been having a right laugh, a bit of flirting then the other night ...
A. 17 September 2007: You could get very hurt. Friends "with benefits" is fine if (and only if) both people are in the same place (no one wants more). But you're not there. You're hoping to get back with him. He's been very clear about what he wants, and a ... (read in full...)
She wants a divorce, but I still love her. And the thought of being a part time father tears me apart!
Q. My life has just fallen apart. After 9 years of marriage and being together almost 15 years, my wife has told me she no longer wants to be married to me. We have had a tough time over the last 4-5 years after my son was born, my wife has suffered...
A. 17 September 2007: First, don't leave. If she wants out, she's the one who needs to leave.
Second, quote Dr. Phil at her: You need to "earn" your way out of a marriage, so that you can tell your children honestly that you tried. If you and she try honestly... (read in full...)
I'm in love with the new teacher, he dropped loads of hints and kissed me at lunch. What if the school finds out?
Q. a new teacher started working at my school about 1 year ago. even since he first spoke to me, i have fallen for him. (i know i must sound crazy but i really do like him!) the thing is, he has started liking me back! he has dropped loads of hint...
A. 16 September 2007: No matter how mature you are, there's something creepy about a man who falls for a girl your age. It's even worse that he's using his position of power to get to you.
I know you find if flattering, but it could ruin your life (and his too). Y... (read in full...)
He's cheated on me twice and has hi me 3 times... I've found somebody else, but I'm not sure where to go from here
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for a year now and hes cheated twice and hit me 3 times. he was genuinlly sorry but everytime i try talk to him about it he ignors me and the only person i feel i can talk to is another boy and now me and him keep sleeping ...
A. 16 September 2007: leave the boyfriend; what you tolerate becomes your standard and he treats you poorly. Never accept that treatment again.
Make sure that relationship is over before you see your new guy. Even jerks don't deserve to be cheated on.... (read in full...)
Will he tell his wife about the affair???
Q. Hi, I became very good friends with my neighbour who was (is) in a very unhappy marriage. He did not even need to tell myself, my husband of 9 years (at the time)or our tennant. She mistreats and isolates him as badly as my ex mistreated and i...
A. 16 September 2007: If she has proof that she was right, of course she is going to tell. The cat's out of the bag on this one.... (read in full...)
I'm thinking that if I don't start my sexual life soon, I'll be too scared to initiate it later on. I'm 19...
Q. I am 19 years old and never had sex, im now starting to think if I dont soon I will be too scared to have sex later on. Have you got any advice for me please?...
A. 16 September 2007: Relax. Don't force the issue. When you're ready, you'll know.... (read in full...)
Should I let my 16 year old daughter sleep in the same bed with her bf?
Q. me my husband and our daughter are going on holiday for a week soon and i've told her she can take her bf who i know extremely well and have known all his life. I was just wondering what you would think if i let them sleep in the same bed. They...
A. 16 September 2007: Only if you want her to have sex.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to mess with other girls when she's in college?
Q. It's very hard to see my girlfriend in college while I'm still in high school and I'm feeling extremely lonely. If you love someone, is it ok to mess with other girls when she's in college?...
A. 15 September 2007: Depends on your understanding with the girl. If she thinks you are "exclusive" then NO it's not okay. If you are lonely, write her a letter, go out with friends, but do not date.
If you and she can decide to date other people while she's aw... (read in full...)
My husband said his feelings for me could change again, but only if I kicked my daughter out of our house!
Q. My husband and I have been married for two years. We have both been married before and have children from previous relationships, we also have our own four year old son. We have had quite a few problems in the past but have always managed to ...
A. 14 September 2007: Don't even consider sending your daughter away. Get a lawyer. Do NOT leave the house. Do NOT leave your son with him. If someone needs to leave, it's him.... (read in full...)
My bf has to have a beard b/c of his religion, but I hate beards! I want him to cut it!
Q. I love my boyfriend so much, but he's got a beard and long hair, he has to have it this way because of his religion, but the thing is im not a fan of beards, but he can't cut it. I really hate beards ! It just makes him look older and my friends ...
A. 14 September 2007: if you loved him you wouldn't ask him to go against his religion. get over the beard or get over him. your choice.... (read in full...)
I am worried that someone might tell my new guy about something I did in my past
Q. I am in a bit of a muddle..I have recently got together with a friend of my ex. Myself and my ex split up years and years ago but a couple of years ago when I was at a low ebb and after listening to him tell me all the things I wanted to hear I ...
A. 14 September 2007: You should do 2 things. Confront this "friend" (he's no friend of yours). What he thinks is funny, ISN'T. Especially since he's only harassing you, not your ex. Tell him that this "half telling" is BS and he's being a jerk. Ask him directly ... (read in full...)
My husband rages!
Q. my husband can not control his get and gets irretated for the least things and starts to insult me and threaten me to leave and my daughter how should i behave when he has this rage?...
A. 13 September 2007: His behavior is unreasonable. He needs counseling (anger management therapy) desperately. When he acts like that, take your daughter and leave. I don't know much about the customs in your country, but can you find some kind of women's shelter ... (read in full...)
Got very drunk and woke up in his bed: what are the early signs of pregnancy, and two, was I raped?
Q. Hi... I am in a very frightening situation some people may have been in before. I was recently living with this guy whom I've met at my job, because he believed he could help me further with my education and help me out. I know I should not have, ...
A. 12 September 2007: BTW, for me, tender breasts, exhaustion and (of all things) gas were early signs of pregnancy. I didn't get nausea until 7 weeks after I'd missed my period, and some women don't get it at all.... (read in full...)
Got very drunk and woke up in his bed: what are the early signs of pregnancy, and two, was I raped?
Q. Hi... I am in a very frightening situation some people may have been in before. I was recently living with this guy whom I've met at my job, because he believed he could help me further with my education and help me out. I know I should not have, ...
A. 12 September 2007: When I was a freshman in college, I frequently had blackouts during drinking. Different people react to alcohol differently.
Have yourself checked for STDs and pregnancy, just in case, but don't jump to the conclusion that there was sex. If you ... (read in full...)
My friend's future husband has been diagnosed with cancer, I dearly want to be able to give them something special as wedding gift. Ideas, please?
Q. Hi, I am hoping to get some help and ideas. One of my best friends is getting married in 3 weeks. The thing is, it isnt your usual wedding as her fiance has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and has been given 2 good months, with 2 bad mo...
A. 12 September 2007: Depending on how well you know them, can you give them a book of home-made coupons?
2 loads laundry (5 coupons)
grocery trips (5 coupons)
home-made diners they don't have to cook, that you'll drop off and then leave (10 coupons)
bathro... (read in full...)
Negative blood results, but still feel pregnant
Q. Negative blood results, but still feel pregnant. Hello everyone!, i posted a question few weeks ago regarding my period being late. I will state again that, my period comes between 28-35 days. I'm sexually active. My last period came on Mid-july...
A. 11 September 2007: If the baby didn't implant for 5 months, it would die of starvation. There are people who don't know that they're pregnant, but not implanting wouldn't work.... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 11 September 2007: I think you did exactly the right thing, and yes, I think you should walk away now.... (read in full...)
She keeps going back to her ex. Should I wait for her to make up her mind, or just cut the cord now?
Q. I've posted questions regarding this before, but here's a quick rundown, just in case you all aren't as obsessed with my love life as I am... :) I'd known this girl for four years (calls me her best friend), finally told her how I feel after her b...
A. 11 September 2007: Talk to her before you cut the cord. Tell her that the honesty between you is the most important thing, and the fact that she's keeping things from you really hurts. Now is the time for you two to put all your cards on the table. Let her know ... (read in full...)
Negative blood results, but still feel pregnant
Q. Negative blood results, but still feel pregnant. Hello everyone!, i posted a question few weeks ago regarding my period being late. I will state again that, my period comes between 28-35 days. I'm sexually active. My last period came on Mid-july...
A. 11 September 2007: Did you take one blood test or two?
When my tests all came back negative, they gave me TWO blood tests, a couple of days apart. The pregnancy hormone (hCG) practically doubles every day, so the first test sets the level and the second test mea... (read in full...)
I thought she liked me, but now she is ignoring me!
Q. I think I'm being screwed over, but she won't tell me. Hi, I've been friends with this girl for a few months now, and it started to become more than a friendship, though nothing has happened yet. She liked me originally, but I couldn't be wi...
A. 11 September 2007: I would let her make the next move, but be ready for none to appear. Some girls (especially young, immature ones) "break up" with a guy by becoming completely unavailable (not answering calls/e-mails, etc.) -- some guys do this too. It's not ... (read in full...)
Should I date this guy I work with?
Q. Im 17 and ive been working as a waitress at a local pub for about 6 months. We're all really close and a few months ago two new duty managers started. Ones a complete jerk, but the other is really nice. He's 25 and we can talk for hours about ...
A. 11 September 2007: No. Never date anyone you work with. The complications are endless. Not just if you have troubles and need to bring them to work, or if you're sweet on each other and ignoring your work, or the gossip from everyone else because they see you. But ... (read in full...)
Does he want to end things with me and is trying to let me down gently?
Q. My boyfriend of 8 months recently told me he is depressed and that he wanted to get away from his friends, me, the city we live in (not together) and away from doing the same old things. He is a mature student and is due to start back at un...
A. 11 September 2007: I don't think this is letting you down gently. I think this is torture. He's letting you hang without any clear answers. The excessive drinking bothers me, too. I know you love this guy, so this might be hard to take, but I would consider the ... (read in full...)
What do you do when you like two guys who are both your friends??
Q. Hey people. I got a bit of a problem. Okay here's how it goes;I like two guys.They both have basicly the same classes with each other and thier good friends. Bob*not reall name* is in one of my classes and we get along very good and sometimes I ...
A. 11 September 2007: If Bob has a girlfriend then you need to leave him alone. Never go after a guy who's dating someone else. Think of how you would feel if someone went after your guy?
As for Jake, the next time someone asks whether you're dating him, just say... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 10 September 2007: If you can't get him to be clear, then it's time to stop the slumber party. No more heading to bed; it's a tease for both of you (him because he thinks he might get lucky, you because you think it might lead to a relationship). I like very mu... (read in full...)
What don't guys have that makes them not have kids?
Q. Hi, well this is going to sound qiuet like am a dope, and a bimbo but am really wondering this, I was watching a program and they said that the guy can't have kids, and i started wondering that they say a girl can't have kids if she never has had ...
A. 10 September 2007: That's hard to answer. There are a lot of differences. Guys don't get a period, but they get stuck with unwanted/embarrassing erections, wet dreams, overactive sex drives and testosterone-related aggression. This might help: http://www.kidsh... (read in full...)
I have been with my boyfriend for thirteen years. I recently feel as if I want to get married and start a family but he doesn't...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for thirteen years. I recently feel as if I want to get married and start a family but he doesn't, I am unsure if I should call it a day or just carry on waiting....
A. 10 September 2007: Have you actually talked to him about it? Don't imagine that he has any idea that your feelings have changed. This is the time to be frank about your feelings. Tell him what you want out of life. If it's not what he wants, then it's time to go.... (read in full...)
Is he too old for me??
Q. Hi, I have a problem because i like a neighbour who is 20 years old and i'm 14. At the beggining he started talking to me and asked my name; then he gave me his cellphone number and he added me to his msn list. He noticed that i really like him...
A. 10 September 2007: If you have to ask whether he's too old, the answer is almost always YES. In your case, it's ABSOLUTELY YES! In the best case, you could land him in jail for statutory rape. But this doesn't sound like the best case. This guy sounds REALLY cr... (read in full...)
I'm in love with another woman... Check out what she says to me and see if you think she feels the same?
Q. Hello Aunts, I need some help. I am a woman in love with another woman. I told her how I felt and she denied feeling the same way. It has been 9 months since I told her how I felt, yet she keeps sending me mixed signals. she told me she was straight ...
A. 10 September 2007: She could simply need someone to be sweet with, since she's not getting it from her husband. Don't bet she's going to leave him, not any time soon. If you want a relationship with someone, I recommend cutting her off so that you give your heart a ... (read in full...)
How long does the honeymoon period last?
Q. how long, does "the honeymoon period" of a relationship last?...
A. 10 September 2007: Depends on the persons involved. I noticed a pattern in my relationships: after 2 months I was either ready to move on to the next guy or in love (usually ready to move on). So for me, I think the infatuation stage was 2 months. I only ha... (read in full...)
What do you do when you like two guys who are both your friends??
Q. Hey people. I got a bit of a problem. Okay here's how it goes;I like two guys.They both have basicly the same classes with each other and thier good friends. Bob*not reall name* is in one of my classes and we get along very good and sometimes I ...
A. 10 September 2007: Choose your girlfriend over the guys and don't go after Bob. Whether he likes her or not doesn't matter; she's liked him for a while. To date him now could hurt her feelings.... (read in full...)
Is it easy to get laid in college?
Q. Alright, so I'm wondering if the rumours about how easy it is to get laid in college is true. I'm in my last year of highschool so I really look forward to moving out and going to college and whatnot, and everyone goes on about how easy it is to ge...
A. 10 September 2007: Easier for girls than for guys. But those same girls you're with now will be the ones in college, and they're probably going for older guys. So maybe not so easy.
There's also a lack of "adult" supervision (technically everyone there is an adult... (read in full...)
How to say to a guy that has treated you well and cared for you that he is not the one?
Q. How to say a guy, that has treated you well, cared about you, was on your side to support you and who you know has feelings for you, that HE IS Simply Not THE Guy you're looking for?? and not to be painful for him? What's the best way? Please, any ...
A. 10 September 2007: It's like pulling a band-aid off. Do it quickly. Be honest and direct. It's really the kindest thing.
Think of it this way: being honest with him is actually the kindest thing you can do. He needs to have time to let his heart heal so that he ... (read in full...)
I want us to learn how to control our anger towards eachother, but after the police intervention I'm afraid the relation will end.
Q. Please someone help me. I have been crying for over 3 days now. My boyfriend and I have been having some problems, for intance: Whenever he got me really really mad, I would try to smack the back of his head or his chest or sometimes slap the side ...
A. 10 September 2007: BEFORE you try to contact him, look into anger management classes. You and he need them desperately. Once you've booked one, you might invite him to join you. If you don't both go, then I recommend leaving him (or letting him leave you). One of ... (read in full...)
I want to keep this relationship/friendship going but it's disappointing when the answers are postponed. He says we are soulmates, and we're both married.
Q. i've recently been in touch with someone i new in high school. we're both married and have grown children. we are very attracted to one another, and he has stated in one of his e-mails that we are soulmates, however, he is very slow to respond ...
A. 10 September 2007: He's married, and so are you. What you should do is block his e-mail and get on with your life.... (read in full...)
What don't guys have that makes them not have kids?
Q. Hi, well this is going to sound qiuet like am a dope, and a bimbo but am really wondering this, I was watching a program and they said that the guy can't have kids, and i started wondering that they say a girl can't have kids if she never has had ...
A. 7 September 2007: Guys don't have a womb (uterus).... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 31 August 2007: I think it's time to be frank with him. Tell him the reason that you haven't wanted any kind of physical relationship with him is that you're not interested in that kind of relationship with a man who is unavailable. You enjoy his friendship, but ... (read in full...)
I am worried that someone might tell my new guy about something I did in my past
Q. I am in a bit of a muddle..I have recently got together with a friend of my ex. Myself and my ex split up years and years ago but a couple of years ago when I was at a low ebb and after listening to him tell me all the things I wanted to hear I ...
A. 18 July 2007: I'm with Beckto. She's given you excellent advice. Better he hear it from you, in a manner you can control, than from any place else. He should be able to leave the past in the past.... (read in full...)
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