A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am 14 and i fancy my uncle who is 48 and has a wife and two children. everytime i see him i have to wait before i go out otherwise it makes me nervous and i dont know what to do! please help me. thank you Carla Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): Do you have a father figure in your life? Because if you don't that could be why you have these feelings. Something is missing in your life and that is why your looking towards an older man, he has something that you need. I think that there would be nothing to it, if it was your 16-17-18 year old cousin...think about it.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (11 September 2007):
 That is too cute. I'm in my mid 30's and have had girls show interest. As an adult, I have to turn their offers down, but it does flatter me. Getting a few gray hairs here and there, and someone half my age shows interest.
I think for you this will have to remain a secret crush. It's OK to feel that way, it's part of your growing up. Telling him or bringing it into the open may end up changing the relationship you have with him now, and may not change in a good way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): Oh god --- I remember this!! I have had the same very thing Carla (except it was an older cousin, not uncle). I was around your age too!
Yep, very normal... and it will pass!! Your aunty & uncle probably already know that you've developed a crush on him & probably find it funny more than anything. My cousin told me years later that yep, they'd all known, and thought it was very funny & cute the way I kept leaving the room whenever they came over.
In a while, you'll be so embarrassed that you ever thought that way about him that you'll cringe when you remember it. he he.
You'll find that it'll go away all by itself when you meet some other guy that you like so don't worry too much about it.
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A
female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (1 September 2007):
 Yeah, I agree, you do develop crushes at the age of 14. But no you cannot act on this. This is your uncle, and you have an aunty and cousins. The whole family would explode. And may think something is going on, which could get your uncle in a lot of trouble.Good luck babe xxxx
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A
female
reader, 88jane +, writes (30 August 2007):
 ok hun, you are at an age where you are starting to become interested in guys and your hormones are beginning to run wild!! however, this interest in your uncle is obviously not appropriate. Are you close with your uncle? if he is a really nice guy and you have a good relationship with him then perhaps you are attracted to him cos you see him as a role model and a nice guy who may have all the qualities you will eventually want in a guy.
You need to ignore this infatuation with your uncle because no good can come of it...are there any guys at school or that you hang out with that you fancy...maybe you could start hanging around with other guys your own age and focusing more on school and your friends than relationships! i know you cant choose who you like and that your hormones are making you feel all these different emotions, but we have to be responsible and know when are thoughts are inappropriate!
I suggest that you try and distance yourself from your uncle until these feelings pass, which i promise you they will! take up a new hobby and concentrate on something else instead to take your mind off him! it will get easier with time!
mail me if you want to chat further!
jane xxx
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Crushes are a normal part of growing up. But DO NOT act on this. Not only is he a relative, which is illegal, but you are underage, which is also illegal. He won't thank you for damaging his relationship with is wife, either. If you care about him at all, you need to leave him alone.
Try to avoid him until you are over him. And though it's hard to direct whom your crushes settle on, try to find someone closer to your own age. THAT one you can act on.
Good luck sweetie.
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