| Latest articles: Why are so many people in abusive relationships/marriages?
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 June 2010: I read so many questions about people stuck in "abusive relationship"s and marriages and I can't help but wonder: 1. how did this happen? I mean, why do people let themselves be stepped on like that? Why do people treat their significant o...
|
If I started dating to spice up my marriage would that be cuckolding my husband?
Q. AS a joke my husband took and posted few photos of me on the internet. Over time he received loads of request for more and after telling me what he did it became a real turn-on for us both. I later started a web-site and the request for more, gifts ...
A. 6 August 2012: Sorry I'm late OP. I was away for the weekend.
Well, if he's okay with it (from your answers it seems like he shares your attitude) go for it OP. Just make sure you both talk about boundaries, about what is acceptable and what crosses the line... (read in full...)
Long term friends. We had sex. Now it's changed the relationship. Has he now lost interest in me?
Q. Hi. Recently my best friend of 6 years and I had sex. It wasn't a complete surprise because the attraction has always been there and we always talked about it. Well now that it's finally happened, we both enjoyed it very much and when it came...
A. 5 August 2012: Why not just meet up again to see how the atmosphere is? If it's awkward and there's tension, talk to him frankly about this and about your and his wishes. Don't let it dangle, deal with it head on. It's scary because it's unfamiliar territory after ... (read in full...)
Do I show my friend the proof that her boyfriend is cheating on her or not?
Q. I am in a bit of a hard situation here. I have a male friend, and I recently found out that he is on a swinger site, and is meeting random people for sex. Now what he does is his business and normally I couldn't care less, except he has a ...
A. 4 August 2012: I once got into the same situation, and I have to tell you it may not end well. You have to decide for yourself how much this friendship means to you because chances of losing that person are pretty big.
In my case my friend was cheating... (read in full...)
If I started dating to spice up my marriage would that be cuckolding my husband?
Q. AS a joke my husband took and posted few photos of me on the internet. Over time he received loads of request for more and after telling me what he did it became a real turn-on for us both. I later started a web-site and the request for more, gifts ...
A. 3 August 2012: Thanks for the follow up, OP. So, from what I've gathered your husband have been in a monogamous relationship up until now.
I have a few questions for you.
- What are your husbands views on an open relationship in general?
- Is it just sex w... (read in full...)
If I started dating to spice up my marriage would that be cuckolding my husband?
Q. AS a joke my husband took and posted few photos of me on the internet. Over time he received loads of request for more and after telling me what he did it became a real turn-on for us both. I later started a web-site and the request for more, gifts ...
A. 1 August 2012: Where does it end, though? Going on dates to do what? Discuss politics over coffee? Or is your "one-night date" really a one-night stand? You're skirting the edges here and it's dangerous territory. It might all seem like fun and games now, but it ... (read in full...)
Another crush on teacher...?
Q. Story about this is kinda complicated so it's the best to start from the beginning: I met him on my first day of high school. He introduced himself as our physics teacher for next 4 years. In that time never even came to my mind that I will ever...
A. 1 August 2012: I second Abella's advice. You may already have experienced this yourself. Looking back at my own crushes of the past, I often wonder now what drew me to that person in the first place. Love truly makes blind, but time will help you see (as cliche as ... (read in full...)
Another crush on teacher...?
Q. Story about this is kinda complicated so it's the best to start from the beginning: I met him on my first day of high school. He introduced himself as our physics teacher for next 4 years. In that time never even came to my mind that I will ever...
A. 31 July 2012: Wow you sound like a busy girl! Good job and keep it up. And I have to say I never thought I'd encounter someone on DC who also practices contortion like me. But before I digress:
Some people just have that effect on us. It fades in time and by n... (read in full...)
I applied at a strip club, the boss wants me to strut my stuff
Q. I applied to work in a strip club (I'm female) but the mister who I asked wanted me to "strut my stuff" for him. Is this normal. Do ladies who apply to do what I do (get naked, look sexy and have sex) have to show the "boss" what they do or does he ...
A. 31 July 2012: Last time I checked working in a strip club didn't require you to have sex with anyone. Any establishment that claims otherwise is just an euphemism for whorehouse.
A classmate of mine worked in a strip club to make ends meet, because it pays wel... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got drunk and cheated, she's devastated but I'm not sure what to do
Q. So here's the situation. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 months and things were going absolutely perfect for us until yesterday/today. She went out to a pub with a friend on sunday night, she asked me if i wanted to go however i ...
A. 31 July 2012: It's not often that I say this, but in this case I think you should consider giving her a second chance. She truly seems disgusted with herself and since she has also owned up to it so soon after it happened, I think there's a good chance she won't ... (read in full...)
Could it be he really doesn't want to get married?
Q. My boyfriend is 41 and has never been married. We have been together for a year. When I ask him if he sees himself getting married in the future his response is "maybe, I'm not sure". I would think that by 41 you would know if you wanted to get ...
A. 31 July 2012: It's very difficult to say. You really have to talk to him about it if this could be a deal breaker for you. That said, "maybe" is always better than flat out "no." It could be he doesn't really care for marriage, but that he may be willing to go ... (read in full...)
Did my counselor speak in an incorrect way to me in offering to help?
Q. Dear Cupid, Recently I went through a difficult time at home; my mother had a near fatal car accident and is still in the process of recovering. The counselor at my old school heard about the accident and contacted me. He told me that if ever nee...
A. 30 July 2012: I think he thought getting help could be beneficial to you, and I think he felt that it was his duty to point this out to you. Just because you're not a pupil at the school anymore doesn't mean you don't matter anymore to those that work there.
... (read in full...)
I am a good friend, but it just gets to me sometimes about how beautiful my friend is. how do I stop feeling this way?
Q. I have been friends with my closest friend for a very long time, we grew up together and have been good friends for as long as I can remember. She is a beautiful person and I love her for being there whenever. But its just some days I let it get t...
A. 28 July 2012: Abella gave a great answer. I have little to add to that.
Just remember, at your age, your looks are not set in stone. You're developing and your body needs to settle down first. Some teens look like knockouts early on, others need much more tim... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 28 July 2012: Oh and I concur with anonymous123: disabilities do not excuse bad behavior. My mom cannot move any part of her body except her head and she stays upbeat, grateful and supportive of me and my dad. That's why he stayed with her and hasn't cheated on ... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 28 July 2012: OP, I'm so happy you're learning to stand up for yourself! Keep your supportive family close, you'll need them. Him biting you shows that resentment and bitterness are the only emotions he's got left. It's sad but not your responsibility to put up ... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 28 July 2012: Haha good one OP. No you weren't wrong. He won't be so quick to try it again with another girl now he knows there's a possibility she'll put it up for everyone to see. You're showing him you're not someone to mess with. Ignoring stupid antics with ... (read in full...)
Worried by my boyfriend's taste in porn, does he have a problem?
Q. Hi everyone, I have a question regarding my boyfriend's taste in porn. We have been together for over three years, and ever since the beginning of the relationship I knew he watched porn, and I didn't have a problem with it whatsoever. He was honest ...
A. 28 July 2012: I'm very open and understanding when it comes to porn, but there's a line. Like others pointed out, the fact he gets off watching girls who are obviously NOT enjoying themselves is a red flag. Him downplaying the worries you have is bad too.
... (read in full...)
Seems the same guy is trying to steal another girl away from me. How should I handle this?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly three months now, and lately, a guy has started trying to steal her away from me. This same guy has already taken one girl away from me and I know that he's heartless enough to do or say what...
A. 28 July 2012: *girl... (read in full...)
Seems the same guy is trying to steal another girl away from me. How should I handle this?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly three months now, and lately, a guy has started trying to steal her away from me. This same guy has already taken one girl away from me and I know that he's heartless enough to do or say what...
A. 28 July 2012: Look, it's very simple. A guy can only steal a guy away from you if that girl is more interested in him than you. Your girl is obviously more interested in you. You're adults. Trust her to handle herself around him. Something will only happen if she ... (read in full...)
I feel good about trying to clear the air, but was being honest a mistake?
Q. I am in my mid twenties. I have been on about 6 dates with someone and things seemed to be going really..a good pace, good momentum..we text, talk..I didn't feel that anxiety too much wondering if he is going to keep contacting me. The past 2 an...
A. 28 July 2012: You did the right thing by being honest. So keep doing that. There are no true rules to this thing, just a few guidelines. One of them is: do what you feel is right. You gave him a simple opportunity to end it. He was rather vague in response, which ... (read in full...)
I was so mad to see her laughing and talking with somebody else, I punched a door!
Q. Hi everyone, Ok. So I have two problems. Hope you can help me... 1) See I'm a natural flirter, I don't mean to brag but I can make a girl smitten by me in a couple of seconds,not literally but you get the point. But when it comes to my crush. I...
A. 28 July 2012: Sounds to me like she's not into you. She knows you like her but she chose to hook up with your friend. She's not trying to make you jealous, she's trying to show you she's not interested because she's too much of a coward to say it in your face. ... (read in full...)
I am upset that I am being criticized for my parenting!
Q. My daughter is about to be a year old next week and does not walk nor try to. She just crawls and she goes to the furniture and stands up on it. She was born 2 months premature and her doctor always said that some things she might do a little bit ...
A. 25 July 2012: I hate when people suddenly become 'experts'. Tell them that your child is being monitored and that if something was wrong, you're sure a QUALIFIED medical health care professional would inform you. As of now, nothing is wrong. I walked at 20 months ... (read in full...)
Do I need to worry about this girl? Even though they've never met face-to-face?
Q. dear cupid, several times, i've come on here asking for advice about the guy that i've been on-again-off-again with for a little over a year now. and each time, your readers have been extremely helpful in the situations that i asked for advice...
A. 24 July 2012: Well first off you need to determine where you stand with this guy. Are you two officially dating (again)?
- If the answer is YES, then I'd cut the crap and talk to him about it, saying the enormous effort this girl puts into him (fb activity... (read in full...)
I want to go out and live a little, meet other guys, spend more time with my friends. Do I just tell him that? Or will that completely break his heart?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 17 months now, but lately I don't feel the same around him. Most days, I don't even want to talk to him or see him. He just makes me mad all the time, tells me i'm doing everything wrong, and I just don't feel like ...
A. 24 July 2012: When you're feeling this way, it's best to break up once and for all. Don't leave the possibility of you two getting together dangling in front of him, because if you're honest with yourself you know that's not going to happen and that wouldn't be ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering how my married lover can lead a double life!
Q. This question is directed more towards the experts in the field of infidelity because I'm really curious as to how she can live with herself. What gets me is how some of her peers and co-workers perceive her to be this classy upstanding woman...
A. 24 July 2012: OP, how can you live with yourself knowing that your lover returns home every day to an unknowing husband and maybe even children? Yes, she is the one choosing to cheat or her husband, but you're the one allowing it to be you whom she does it with. ... (read in full...)
Everyone says that long-distance dating is hard... but is it worth it to give it a try?
Q. I recently met this guy, and he's really great; he's good looking, caring, sweet to me and everything I could ask for. The only problem is, he lives 15 hours away, and the only way we can talk is through texting and skype. He said he's really ...
A. 22 July 2012: I tried it at your age and it wasn't for me. A relationship that consists of texting and skyping is not a real relationship. Most of it is happening in your head and after a while the picture you got in your mind versus reality can become quite ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I am still single? I always worry what people think of me.
Q. I have been single now for 7 years. I am 25 years old.I am beginning to think there is something wrong with me. It's either I meet guys who aren't interested in me or guys that I am not interested in but they are. I have been on many dates but the ...
A. 22 July 2012: "I always worry what people think of me."
I think this is the problem, OP. Insecurity. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Just because other people you know hop from relationship to relationship doesn't mean it's ideal. You being single means yo... (read in full...)
I'm having to chose between the gym to keep my body or my girlfriend!
Q. Here' s the thing. My girlfriend has been complaining of lately that I don't spend enough time with her. I can totally understand her argument because I simply have too much going on to devote a large majority of my time to her. I work full time, ...
A. 22 July 2012: Like others have pointed out, you don't need to spend that much time in the gym to maintain your body. I worked out every day to make my body the way it is now, and I maintain it by training 3 times a week and eating well. My workouts are 45 minutes ... (read in full...)
Is is possible to find only one person beautiful?
Q. My friend told me that he only finds his wife beautiful.Is it possible? I've searched on the net a bit about it and found 7 men and 10 women who says they only find their gfs or bfs beautiful. Are there these kind of people?...
A. 21 July 2012: Taken literally? No. People will always recognize beauty when they see it. But I think this is one of those things you need to see in context.
I think what they mean is that when they're in a relationship, they only have eyes for their girlfrie... (read in full...)
Could you girls explain to me the feelings behind a crush on a celebrity and the feelings you have for your bf?
Q. Im curious to know what the difference is between your celebrity crushes and the feeling you have for your boyfriend. I know everyone is attracted to other people, but to what extent? I mean, you'll gush over whomever the actor may be, be it orlan...
A. 20 July 2012: Oh and I just wanted to add, just because girls find some celebrities good looking doesn't mean they require their boyfriend to look like that. There is no contest because there is no comparison. ... (read in full...)
Could you girls explain to me the feelings behind a crush on a celebrity and the feelings you have for your bf?
Q. Im curious to know what the difference is between your celebrity crushes and the feeling you have for your boyfriend. I know everyone is attracted to other people, but to what extent? I mean, you'll gush over whomever the actor may be, be it orlan...
A. 20 July 2012: As a teen I had my share of celebrity crushes. Or more accurately, character crushes. I watched movies and TV series and thought a certain character was hot and attractive, but mostly because of the way it's written. That's how my celeb crushes ... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 20 July 2012: OP, please call your family and ask them to come to you if his mother won't let you go to them (which is so unfair and mean of her). You need someone to stand in your corner and back you up. I can say with confidence that every person who has ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes to a friend for advice who hasn't ever had a relationship and he doesn't like me, so he always makes me the bad guy!
Q. Me and my boyfriend will been together 13 this nov but the last month just been hell, He had cheat on me and just last year he stop talking to other female but im still with him now every time we got a problem he go to his friend for advice knowing ...
A. 19 July 2012: I think the cheating is a bigger issue than whomever he gets relationship advice from. Why did you take him back?... (read in full...)
All of my boyfriend's ex girlfriends and friends are strippers, ex cons, prostitutes, porn stars ...and generally people who are a little shady, while I'm a virgin!! What the hell is going on?! Why did he pick me?
Q. My bf is 31, I am 26 and we have been together for about seven months. Things are going great...however...I'm confused about the fact that all his exes and friends are strippers, ex cons, prostitutes, porn stars ...and generally people who are a ...
A. 19 July 2012: Hmm, a very violent offense he kept from you....I'd be careful if I were you. I can understand why he wouldn't want to advertise his past, but it is a red flag even if he ended up telling you about it.
It means he's had trouble keeping himself ... (read in full...)
Why does my 50 year old boyfriend sleep with his mother?
Q. Is it normal fort a 50 some year old guy to choose to sleep in the same bed with his Mom when there are other beds/sleeping arrangements available? My boyfriend makes a habit of doing this and I find it creepy....
A. 19 July 2012: Question: why are you with someone who could be your father age wise but behaves like a 6 year-old child? ... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 19 July 2012: I wholeheartedly agree with Anonymous123 here. You need to get out of this unhealthy situation, away from him and his family. (Or more accurately, he needs to leave your home and live somewhere else and his family needs to butt out of your life.)
... (read in full...)
I gave him my virginity and then he said he wasn't into me!
Q. okay so I had sex with this huy for the first time. And it was at my house and it was a very special cause he took my virginity. So anyways after that we were talking and we did it again but at his house. So the next day I told him we should stop ...
A. 18 July 2012: I'm sorry that this happened to you, but please learn from it.
#1. Never date a coworker. Contrary to what the TV shows portray, it's never a good idea.
#2. Let a guy work before he gets to bed you. This guy was after sex, you gave it to him w... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 18 July 2012: As tragic as it is what happened to him, it would be even more tragic if your life is ruined along with it, while you have a chance to live differently.
From your follow-up it doesn't seem like his family has his best interest at heart at all, ... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 18 July 2012: OP, you're not a douche. Growing up with a now severely disabled mom I see the effect it has on the people around, including myself. My mom is still clear of mind and can still talk normally, so that's a plus. My dad is still with her because she is ... (read in full...)
If this online guy has lied about simple stuff like this, I don't know what more he could lie about!
Q. I'm a 18 year old girl. Im pretty mature, not kiddish at all. I met a guy on a penpal site around 3 years ago and he introduced himself as just John (name obviously changed). He told me he was 24 then (should be 27 now) We eventually lost touch ...
A. 18 July 2012: Oh and I want to add, tell someone you trust about this, like friends and parents. He may seem harmless now, and he may turn out to be, but it's better to be safe than sorry and have a support system to back you up. Do you live alone? ... (read in full...)
If this online guy has lied about simple stuff like this, I don't know what more he could lie about!
Q. I'm a 18 year old girl. Im pretty mature, not kiddish at all. I met a guy on a penpal site around 3 years ago and he introduced himself as just John (name obviously changed). He told me he was 24 then (should be 27 now) We eventually lost touch ...
A. 18 July 2012: Listen to your gut, OP. If you learn to do this young you'll reap the benefits for the rest of your life. You obviously don't feel right about this (as you should!) so cut contact with him and archive it as a valuable learning experience.
If he... (read in full...)
I don't want kids and I am worried about being perpetually single because my view limits my options
Q. Been single now for over three years and have been getting more convinced that I am going to be single for a very long time and finding it hard to shake that feeling. I have a fairly good life compared to many people - own flat, own car, interes...
A. 18 July 2012: I'm afraid there isn't an easy, simple answer for you. However I have to point out that the more you let this issue invade your mind, the more it will show to the outside world. And it'll work against you. People pick up more than they realize.
... (read in full...)
All of my boyfriend's ex girlfriends and friends are strippers, ex cons, prostitutes, porn stars ...and generally people who are a little shady, while I'm a virgin!! What the hell is going on?! Why did he pick me?
Q. My bf is 31, I am 26 and we have been together for about seven months. Things are going great...however...I'm confused about the fact that all his exes and friends are strippers, ex cons, prostitutes, porn stars ...and generally people who are a ...
A. 16 July 2012: There´s a time for play and a time to grow up. Could be that your boyfriend has had enough of that life, the life of taking risks, putting action before thoughts, the thrill and excitement of doing something on the wrong side of the law...and the ... (read in full...)
| *averick494's friends
These are mutual friends, so *averick494 has
added them and they have added *averick494!
|
