A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been friends with my closest friend for a very long time, we grew up together and have been good friends for as long as I can remember. She is a beautiful person and I love her for being there whenever. But its just some days I let it get to me just how beautiful she is. I am very plain and always have been. Its just every time she goes somewhere, she'll come back and say things like "A really handsome man said hi, and how are you", or "There was a someone really sexy staring at me". I always tell her that of course they will stare, you're beautiful, and she denies that. I've told her I never get any male attention, no one has ever helped me, or said hello randomly. Its just some days its like shes rubbing it in my face, I don't understand why I feel this way. I know its wrong and bad but is there anything I can do to feel better. Please don't tell me I'm a bad friend and all that, I do accept shes gorgeous and that I in comparison am ugly. So how do I stop? Thank you for any answers or help. :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (29 July 2012):
 I think you have a great attitude, to question yourself on this matter. It's true, looks change over time. So do our feelings about them. Also, some very beautiful people are very unhappy. So try not to focus too much on looks. There is more to life and people will be attracted to other qualities.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for answering :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2012): Thank you so much for all the answers, its such good advice that you've given me. I think you're right, time will tell and I shouldn't focus on this subject too much. Thank you for all taking time to help and answer. :)
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (28 July 2012):
 Maverick494 Also made some very important points too. I have known girls who have blossomed in ways I never thought possible in their later years. I saw some photos of Angela Jolie recently at age around 13 or 14 and she was nothing like she looks now.
And Maverick494 made another excellent point too. Anyone who has to keep talking about it is not very secure about themselves.
And although this next comment is about guys, not girls, it is still worth mentioning. My guy says that guys who need to boast about "it" aren't getting the level of "action" they wish they were getting.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 July 2012):
Abella gave a great answer. I have little to add to that.
Just remember, at your age, your looks are not set in stone. You're developing and your body needs to settle down first. Some teens look like knockouts early on, others need much more time to blossom. There are a lot of beautiful looking people who were plain as teens. They just worked for it. I'm not talking plastic surgery and hair extensions, but sports and a healthy diet.
Also, your friend is probably even more insecure than you are, if she has to keep fishing for compliments. Try to avoid the subject of looks and talk about other things. Once you stop concentrating on looks you realize how unimportant it really is. Basically live your life the best you can and enjoy yourself.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (28 July 2012):
even this will pass. Please try to accept that jealousy is a terrible curse and a wasted emotion.There are people who look good on the outside but certainly do not have your good attributes on the inside. You sound like a good person. Please try not to allow your time to be wasted on letting jealousy overtake your life.There will always be someone more physically beautiful, taller, slimmer, richer, more able, smarter.But you might be surprised how good you could look with some cosmetic changes. Like a change to your hair style. Maybe a little more fit. Maybe some makeup (not too heavy) for some special occasins.So it is very important to focus on the positives.You are a good friend.You are suffering little pangs of jealousy . Understandable. But it does not need to be like this.And you friend likes you so you must have some good qualities tooOnce you do some solid work on your own self esteem and you have seen evidence with your own eyes of your own qualities then this will not be as bad.One way to even things up, over the years, is to keep active physically and get plenty of exercise, eat healthy food and keep your weight in good order. Not too skinny - that makes you look horrible, But not too chubby either - as that makes you look tired and as you get older you will not like that it makes you look older than you are (and not in a good way)Another way to even things up is to always look after your skin, properly clean your skin every day, and never smoke cigarrets, never do illicit drugs, nor drugs not prescribed for your by a doctor, and never drink alcohol. That is a BIG ask. Maybe too BIG to ask. But in 20 or 30 years you will be the winner if you do this. I only mention it though as by the time you reach your 40s you will have far better skin than those girls who do do those things in their teens. The reason I know is that I have people comment on my skin and I adhere to that regime above.In the short time you need to work on things that will improve your self esteem and your positive feelings about you.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/tunnel-vision-positive-thinking---used-to.htmlTry to list your Top Best 5 qualities. I bet you have far more than 5. But that is a start. Value you and celebrate those good qualities. Next week try to add five more.Keep on celebrating and valuing the new list of ten,The following week add five more of your good qualities. And so on.At the end of the month and the end of the year you will be surprised that you could ever have felt jealous about anyone. Considering how many GOODD Qualities are embodied within you.Best WishesAbella
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