A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid,several times, i've come on here asking for advice about the guy that i've been on-again-off-again with for a little over a year now. and each time, your readers have been extremely helpful in the situations that i asked for advice on. soo, hopefully...they'll be able to help me out once again.first of all, there's this girl who lives about two hours away from the guy; they've never met each other face-to-face, but they're friends on facebook and have each other's cell phone numbers because her best friend is like his little sister and introduced them. up until now, i've never had a problem with them knowing each other, because i thought that she was the same age as the "little sister," who is 15 (the guy is 21). come to find out, though, she's actually 18.it started out as just her occasionally liking a post or two on his facebook...and quickly escalated from there. she has now liked literally nearly every single post...even the app-generated ones that didn't even come from him and that most other people ignore. this guy and i went on vacation about two hours away, and he texted her nearly the entire drive home. when i asked him who he kept texting, he responded, "my friend thought she was pregnant, and i've been trying to keep her mind off of it." i accepted this...but at the same time, i wondered why she was choosing to talk to him--an almost complete stranger--about the situation and not one of her friends that she actually really and truly knows.then, i logged onto facebook this morning to find that she had tagged him in a status. the status read, "texting him at 5 in the morning," with a smiley face and a HEART next to it. upon seeing it, my mom suggested that maybe it was just something that was done to try and make me jealous and pointed out that it hadn't even been posted at 5:00 (it was closer to 6:30).my question is, do you think that this girl is someone that i need to worry about? and what do you think would be the best way to go about discussing it with the guy? any help is greatly appreciated...i'm going crazyy!!!
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (24 July 2012):
Well first off you need to determine where you stand with this guy. Are you two officially dating (again)?
- If the answer is YES, then I'd cut the crap and talk to him about it, saying the enormous effort this girl puts into him (fb activity, the texting at idiotic hours) is as subtle as a brick and that he has to decide whether he's into her or you, and if it's you, he needs to make sure she knows it too.
Also, by now I'm pretty sure you know the whole pregnancy story was a lie to cover up his texting, so I'd address that and tell him you're not going to date him if he's planning on keeping girls on the side. Note: are you really sure you're up for this (again)? Because personally, once a relationship has hit the "off" button it never truly gets back "on" again.
- If your answer is "NO", then right now he's still single and is free to do whatever the hell he wants, even if it's not exactly classy of him to do so. This girl is definitely interested in him. She's putting in a lot of effort to get noticed by him and he seems to be responding. So if you two aren't officially dating, I'd tell him to make a decision and let you know when he's made one because you're not sticking around to play second fiddle.
In any case I think it's best to lay it out on the table. Don't keep him guessing, just be straightforward and honest with him about your feelings.
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