A
female
age
30-35,
*issLifeLover
writes:Dear Cupid,Recently I went through a difficult time at home; my mother had a near fatal car accident and is still in the process of recovering. The counselor at my old school heard about the accident and contacted me. He told me that if ever needed to talk could come to him. I went into my old school a few times to talk with him about the difficulties at home. He has been wonderful and very helpful. There has just been one thing tat has been crossing my mind the last few weks regarding a conversation we had recently. He was offering to help me with social workers in the hospital despite my reluctance to accept my help. I told him that it was not his job to do that especially since I'm not a pupil in the school anymore. He then proceeding to say 'I have a duty to you, I feel responsible for you, I care about you'.I found noting wrong with this but one or two of my friends said it was not the correct way for a counselor to speak. Are they over re-acting or am I over-reacting? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2012): If he has been wonderful and helped you and you found nothing wrong with his statement, then dont worry. I am sure he just remembered you from school and he wanted to help. Counselors are mostly very generous spirits. So if he is trying to make your life better in any way, accept his help. There are still some good people out there who want to make a difference...thank goodness! I hope your mum makes a full recovery soon.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (31 July 2012):
 I think the guy just takes his job serious.
And I think your friends are reading something into it that isn't there.
I agree with So_Very_Confused when she said, you can't JUST turn that off. It's what he does.
Now if you don't want his help, just tell him in a nice way, if you however DO want it, say thank you and LET him help you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 July 2012):
 I agree that if all he did was tell you these things and it was not coming on to you physically (hugging, kissing, arm around you kind of thing) that he's just helping a former student...
remember he went into the profession he's in because he cares about folks.. you don't just turn that off..
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (30 July 2012):
I think he thought getting help could be beneficial to you, and I think he felt that it was his duty to point this out to you. Just because you're not a pupil at the school anymore doesn't mean you don't matter anymore to those that work there.
Now of course, if he ever touched you in a way that doesn't seem right, etc. like Mandy pointed out, there's a problem. But from your post that doesn't seem the case.
I think your friends meant that professionals always keep their distance, but in the end we're human and I think he feels empathy for you and your circumstances. I think he also realizes there's a bit of a taboo when it comes accepting help, as if that would make someone weak.
Personally, when my mom got severely disabled because of her illness Multiple Sclerosis (she's now basically paralyzed from the neck down) accepting help was one of the best decisions I made. You don't have to deal with this on your own and it's much easier to work through when you have someone guiding you. For me it was very helpful.
I know you didn't ask for it, but I wish you the best and I hope your mom recovers well.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (30 July 2012):
 HI
I think your all over reacting. You were once a pupil at his school, therefore feels he should try to help you still. He can see your having a difficult time and just wants to reasure you that there are people out there that can help, and he was pointing you into the right direction. If he was trying to touch you or seemed a little too close for comfort then yes you have a right to be concerned.
Mandy x
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