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... Send *ike I see it a private message | | | *ike I see it's profile:I believe that everyone has the right to be treated with respect in his or her relationship, and advise accordingly. Life is too short to stay where you're not happy!
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My boyfriend's boss pulled me on his lap. Was he flirting with me?
Q. So I was at my boyfriend's Christmas party recently and his boss, who is married, grabbed my hips and pulled me onto his lap while my boyfriend and I were standing beside the table he was sitting at (we were saying our goodbyes to everyone at the ...
A. 29 December 2013: Agreed w/SVC... it's not common and it's not appropriate. At all.
What he did was almost certainly sexual in motivation but I would not call it flirting. He didn't try to sweet-talk you into coming to him; he GRABBED you. I'm guessing he was inte... (read in full...)
No one's asked to be exclusive, so ...
Q. This question is for people who are okay with premarital sex: I am single and in college. I am sort of seeing two guys. I have had sex with both of them and have gone on lunch dates and have even stayed over at their houses as well as just "hanging ...
A. 26 December 2013: I've never personally done this and personally would not do it, but only because sex is infinitely more enjoyable to me with an emotional connection to match. (I found that out after a couple one-night stands instigated by me, so no judgements ... (read in full...)
He's accusing me of adultery, with him, because I'm not yet divorced. We have so many issues. Is this abusive situation resolvable?
Q. My issue is, I been together with my bf for over 2years now, but on and off. It's our first baby, i left him and get a new house where we can live with my baby. we have a big fight all the time,thats why i left . I gave him so many chances,...
A. 16 December 2013: If he is physically or verbally abusive to you or your child at any point please involve law enforcement. The police can help you with a restraining order that will not only get him out of your home but also force him to keep his distance from ... (read in full...)
He's accusing me of adultery, with him, because I'm not yet divorced. We have so many issues. Is this abusive situation resolvable?
Q. My issue is, I been together with my bf for over 2years now, but on and off. It's our first baby, i left him and get a new house where we can live with my baby. we have a big fight all the time,thats why i left . I gave him so many chances,...
A. 16 December 2013: Please leave this guy. You are way better off without him in your life.
He uses you for money. You've said it yourself, he's always asking you for money but has never had a cent to share with you. This isn't a one-time thing; it's a habit, a... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant? Should I buy the Plan B?
Q. So my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time last night. (In other words, I gave him my V card.) But, because we were not expecting it to happen, we went unprotected. It didn't last too long because he didn't wanted to cum inside me, which he ...
A. 15 December 2013: Is it likely? No.
...Is it *possible*? Yes.
If this is something you're going to lose sleep over, I would strongly suggest getting and taking Plan B as soon as possible for your own peace of mind. The irregular periods are only going to make th... (read in full...)
My wife just wants to party!
Q. My wife lately start party with her girlfriend mostly every weekend.when i tell her to stop her get upset with me and she dosen't want me to touch her in bed or even to have sex.Please help....
A. 13 December 2013: More detail would be useful to help give you sound advice, but here's how I see it:
If she's neglecting your marriage to go party, you need to sit her down and have a talk with her about it.
Explain that her choices are either to party in mode... (read in full...)
Why do guys ask for underwear?
Q. I slept with this guy like more than 5 times. He asked for my underwear twice and on his third ask, I decided, why not? So I gave them to him. I just want to understand this phenomena... why do guys ask for underwear? I'm curious. I just hope I ...
A. 10 December 2013: Either he has a fetish for women's panties and is too chicken to buy them himself in stores, or he's keeping them for exactly that - some sort of souvenir collection.
Given the ease and anonymity of online shopping nowadays, I'm sorry to say that... (read in full...)
I get jealous when he talks to his ex!
Q. How can I stop worrying and being jealous when my boyfriend talks with his ex girlfriend? My boyfriend is friends with this ex and they have a few close mutual friends, and whenever he talks to his ex, I get a little jealous and worried and I do...
A. 8 December 2013: I know you feel like you will "bother" him if you bring this up but you have the right to insist that your CURRENT relationship with him take precedence over his PAST relationship with her.
I don't think it's necessary for him to complete... (read in full...)
I am still not sure where I went wrong, or even if I went wrong.
Q. I went on a date with this guy, I thought it went really well, he initially suggested meeting up again, and then later when I said we should watch a movie sometime, he seemed keen, he then suggested we go back to mine. But then we hooked up and he ...
A. 8 December 2013: I think you're reading too much into it.
I can only speak as a woman who dates men but there have been times when I did more with someone "in the moment" than I might originally have planned to. My guess is he got carried away and then later, w... (read in full...)
He has been cheating for eight years, and I have collected the proof!
Q. Hi I've been with the same guy 8 years I've been by his side through the roughest of times i had met him while he was married he left her for me . I've done everything possible to make him happy I've never cheated I've never been attract ed to any ...
A. 7 December 2013: Leave him. His cheating isn't a one-time mistake that's eating him up inside; it's a pattern of behavior that he clearly doesn't regret. For whatever reason, this guy just isn't capable of being faithful to one woman. You won't be the one to change ... (read in full...)
Third date and he wants me to stay over ...
Q. Dear aunties I am goibg on my third date tomorrow with a guy. First date we kissed, second date we also kissed but he said he had three pints so was not safe to drive. So I said he could stay on the sofa. Then inside he said he wanted to stay i...
A. 6 December 2013: Let's break this one down.
HE had too much to drink knowing that the original expectation didn't involve him staying at your place overnight.
You offered him a perfectly good place to crash for the night (your couch) and he CHOSE not to res... (read in full...)
Am I horrible or justified because their relationship was dead?
Q. I feel like a horrible person. I'm in such a mess. I had a bad break-up and I met a guy online who I poured my soul out to. He was married to a woman who he hated and she hated him. She verbally and sometimes physically abused him (throwing ...
A. 6 December 2013: You're neither, honestly. While it's clear his marriage had major problems long before you were in the picture, no mitigating circumstance (his bad marriage, his desire to leave, his wife's abuse and infidelity, the fact you didn't actually have ... (read in full...)
How do I start courting a girl I am really interested in?
Q. i am a male student. i am already 20 years old. i have not been into relationship and i've just met a girl, a classmate of mine..i want to court her and i don't know how to start. It's like it is hard for me because it's my first time to enter a ...
A. 6 December 2013: For you to actively court her she must also be interested in *you* or doing so is a complete waste of your time (and she may find the attention creepy if it's unwanted on her end.)
Ask her out to something casual, like coffee or a movie, and see ... (read in full...)
He wants it to be a date but I'm not sure!
Q. My friend has just asked me to go to his for pizza and moies and it started out as a friend thing but now he's told me he wants it to be like a date as he really likes me. I used to really quite fancy him but now I'm not sure and I don't want to ...
A. 4 December 2013: ...and he wants this first "date" to take place at his house?
Even if you did 100% like him in that way, I would be very cautious. Guys who invite girls home with them very early in the dating game are typically looking for sex (and often *only* s... (read in full...)
Why do many people find atheism offensive?
Q. Why do many people find atheism offensive? When I'm asked about my religion, I say that I'm not religious. When I'm asked further, I simply state that I'm atheist. If the asker is religious then they seem put off. Yet they asked. It's not something ...
A. 2 December 2013: I believe there may be an entity or entities out there greater than ourselves but if so, I very highly doubt it is/they are an old bearded dude anatomically identical to humans. Like you I don't usually discuss my beliefs with others because so few ... (read in full...)
I found a lipstick in my partner's car and my gut feeling is telling me there's more to this. What do I do?
Q. I don't know what to make of this situation so hoping someone can give me some advice. My partner and I have been together for 3 years. We've had a great relationship and friendship. This morning I found a lipstick in his car. I have no r...
A. 2 December 2013: You're not being ridiculous... his bizarre reaction is suspicious to say the least.
I respectfully disagree with the suggestion to start going through his personal documents over something that (so far) is not conclusive, but that's just me. If h... (read in full...)
I'm 29. How can I have a grandfather in my life if my own have died? Am I asking too much? Or is there another way to fill this void?
Q. Hey guys, This is a question about a family relationship. I'm new to this site but I don't imagine it's ever been asked before. I know it sounds kinda crazy, but I need advice about this desire of mine. Is there any way to make my wish come tru...
A. 2 December 2013: I don't think it's creepy... like you I have no living grandparents and it felt very strange after my last surviving grandmother passed away last year. It's as though my family circle has somehow gotten much smaller; now it's really just my parents, ... (read in full...)
I hate my BF being around a girl he had a one night stand with; she's now dating his best friend. What can I do?
Q. I'm driving myself mad with this, someone help! My boyfriend only had 2 sexual partners before me, his first relationship; the girl he lost his virginity to, and a one night stand which he had when he found out his ex partner had a new boyfriend. ...
A. 1 December 2013: I know it's tough and awkward, and I feel for you, but for the health of your relationship you really need to let it go.
Think about it... your boyfriend had a ONE night stand with this girl. He didn't see a future with her, didn't want or devel... (read in full...)
What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again?
Q. What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again. I'm a sexual person who loves being touched by men. Is it bad to have sex with them if you use protection? Why is there such a stigma to meaningless sex? Yes, its ...
A. 1 December 2013: In a perfect world there would not be a double standard about casual sex. Those who wanted it could have it, regardless of gender; those who didn't could abstain, and neither side would judge the other as being sluts or prudes for their choices.
... (read in full...)
Is this man attracted to his daughter and possibly her friends?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for two years, we got engaged but his daughter had become jealous and wanted me out of there, so we are no longer engaged. He engages in alot of pornography, and while snooping I came across lots of fantasies about ...
A. 30 November 2013: Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, report the home and situation to Child Protective Services. They can escalate the situation to police if they believe there is reason to do so.
Whatever you do, please DO NOT keep dating this guy... (read in full...)
Does he like me back?
Q. In the past month, I've been developing an attraction for a classmate of mine who I'm pretty sure likes me back. I'd really appreciate someone's opinion so I'm not so confused about what is currently going on. For starters, when I walk int...
A. 30 November 2013: Let me ask you this: what would it take for you to walk up to a guy you really liked and tell him how you felt, knowing full well he might reject you? You'd have to be pretty serious about him to do that, right?
It does, absolutely, sound like he ... (read in full...)
My mom never lets my husband in the house, big deal or not?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been married for about 6 months now, and my husband has never been to my parents home...ever. We all live in the same city, I've been to his mum's a ton, same with his other family. He's been around my family plenty, but my m...
A. 30 November 2013: Yes, I would explicitly ask her. Whatever her reason(s), this is something that's only going to get more awkward as time goes by, especially after your child is born. Kids are way better than we give them credit for at picking up on tension and ... (read in full...)
Her lack of support in this situation is making me re-think dating her
Q. HELLO EVERY ONE,well ive been seeing some one for acouple weeks, was ask over to her daughters house for thanksgiven, she lives their. Well every thing was going great, then her daughter ex husband showed up, invited, but with in five minutes he ...
A. 30 November 2013: Her daughter's ex was in the wrong for
a) talking politics with company in the first place, which is very poor etiquette; and
b) becoming increasingly rude to you, a guest in the house, when you disagreed with him.
In all honesty I do n... (read in full...)
If you were me, what would you do?
Q. Hey Cupids, Not sure what I am asking for here but I wanted to share something with you. I have a friend who I was close with for the last 3 years, let’s call him Ed. We became close friends after issues happening in our lives made us need suppo...
A. 30 November 2013: You're right - you're not responsible for Ed's problems. You did not create them and it's clear from your post that you've tried reaching out to him. Unfortunately you can't force him to accept emotional support, no matter how badly he may need it, ... (read in full...)
Is he exaggerating or could a 15 year old really mean it?
Q. How serious is a fifteen year old boy when he says he would marry you in a heartbeat and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you? We are really close friends so he knows what I am truly like and all my flaws and I don't know whether he ...
A. 30 November 2013: It's entirely possible he's sincere about it, and by that I mean he THINKS he means it.
The thing is that 15 is a very young age to be making such sweeping declarations. Who he is now and who he is in five or ten years may be two very differen... (read in full...)
Really starting to fall for one of my friends
Q. Im starting to really fall for one of my close friends. Were together all the time, we share the same group of friends and I was never interested in him in this way but a few weeks ago at our friends halloween party he said goodbye to me and when he ...
A. 29 November 2013: That's a tough spot to be in. If you show your interest too strongly, it will make continuing the friendship very awkward if he doesn't happen to share your feelings. On the other hand, waiting for him to explicitly show interest may not be the ... (read in full...)
Should I sleep with my ex casually?
Q. My Ex, who I have not seen in about 7 years, recently invited me over to have a drink. He asked me if I wanted to have sex. I was shocked as he married since our breakup but apparently is splitting up. I told him I was looking for a relationship, ...
A. 28 November 2013: Regardless of HIS exact marital status (married, single, technically still married but in the process of divorcing) this is not a good idea for *you*.
Even people who start casual sex arrangements where neither party has any preexisting feelings... (read in full...)
I'm dating again haven't had sex in a year and am feeling insecure about it
Q. Hi folks, So I've just recently boarded the dating plane once again. I've been single for a year and a half (after coming out of a messy 3 year relationship) and I've starting casually seeing this guy from my work. We only started seeing e...
A. 28 November 2013: You say you've only been seeing this guy for a week, so I wouldn't be too worried about the fact you don't yet feel completely comfortable with the idea of becoming intimate with him.
Take things slowly. Slowly enough that WHEN you are ready to... (read in full...)
She's irrationally annoyed -- what to do?
Q. my fiancee is annoyed because i didnt make a decision in a rushed moment when she wanted me to. the thing is she didnt make it clear that she wanted me to she just asked what are the plans, and i assumed that she wanted to talk about it and decide ...
A. 27 November 2013: My answer to you depends on how often this sort of disagreement happens in your relationship.
If it's a rare thing for your communication with her to break down like this, I would sit down with her and explain calmly that you love her and you ... (read in full...)
I would like more sex from my partner!
Q. I am a 45 year old male who is engaged to a disabled 57 year old lady. I am also a carer as a look after her a lot during the day. We also have professional carers that come in most of the week. We have been engaged since 10 October 2009. ...
A. 26 November 2013: Was this question also yours, by any chance? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/we-have-some-obstacles-in-our-sex-life.html If not, I apologize, but the poster of that question had an issue similar to yours and was given some good advice about... (read in full...)
I want to watch my wife give oral...
Q. Let me start by saying my relationship with my wife is AWESOME. Sure we have had some ups and downs, but overall it has been AWESOME. When we dated we were active like rabbits and it didn't really matter where we were, we would find a place to ...
A. 26 November 2013: In all honesty I do not think bringing a third party into your marriage is a good idea, unless you are completely accepting of the possibility that doing so may ruin your marriage. Even assuming that your wife is as interested in the fantasy as you ... (read in full...)
How do I ask my professor out - we're the same age
Q. So it’s the end of the semester and there are only a few classes left. I want to ask my professor on a date. She’s my age if not younger. I’m in my 30’s and going back to school full time. We’ve spoken outside class and she seems interested. ...
A. 25 November 2013: Even if she wouldn't be breaking any school rules by dating one of her current students, it isn't really appropriate. You might say it's a conflict of interest, and if other students were to become aware of it she could be accused of playing ... (read in full...)
We're having some problems in the bedroom and I'm afraid it's my fault
Q. Hello! I've been going out with my boyfriend for 4 months now, I was a virgin before him so I'm kind of lost regarding sex issues. The problem is he has problems getting an erection or sometimes he loses it half way through sex. He says it never ...
A. 25 November 2013: If he says it's not you, he probably means that. Erectile dysfunction can be a VERY sensitive topic for men who are affected by it, and it's not uncommon for women to post here saying their male partners blame them (to save face) or simply avoid sex ... (read in full...)
Why is divorce a problem for a liar cheater wife?
Q. My wife started cheating on me around the year 2000. I confronted her and she was extremely sorry, so she made me believe. A few years later she was cheating again and after all the wasted effort I put into salvaging our marriage I knew it was over. ...
A. 14 November 2013: Basically, she wants to have her cake and eat it too. As long as you're still giving her free help with her house and everything else she has NO reason to cut ties with you. And yes, if both you and she go looking separately for NSA sex, she as ... (read in full...)
What should I do? I have realised that I deserve better than how she treats me
Q. Hi all, I have an issue which has many facets so I will try to summaries it as best as I can. - Been with girlfriend for 6 years (she is in mid twenties) - She has a minor disability and I look after her every need.. probably too much! - L...
A. 11 November 2013: First off, congratulations on staying strong through the hardships life has handed you over the past year. You sound like a great person with a great attitude, which brings me to my point... you DO deserve better than how you're allowing yourself to ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with retroactive jealousy?
Q. Hi there, this will be long but I'm in need of help and would appreciate the time and any advice you can offer. I'm 27 living in Los Angeles Cali, working at a video game company. I have suffered from retroactive jealousy since my ve...
A. 10 November 2013: Wow. That's an awkward situation and I feel for you. I'm not really sure why your boyfriend only goes fishing in the workplace pond to meet women, but I guess that's his prerogative. You're right though - the jealousy is something you need to get ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slapped me across the face, was it my fault?
Q. My boyfriend slapped me across the face, was it my fault? My boyfriend has Bipolar Disorder. He drinks a lot sometimes, and this annoys me, whether he is being annoying when he is drunk or not. Sometimes, he is hyper and happy when he is drunk...
A. 10 November 2013: Do not apologize to him. HE owes YOU the apology. The worst thing you could possibly say to him still would not excuse physical violence on his part. Nothing short of you physically attacking HIM gives him any kind of an excuse to hit you, so please ... (read in full...)
How do you tell a man with a temper that things need to change or else it's best we divorce?
Q. I love my husband, but I don't like him. We've had a rocky relationship of 5 years, married for 2.The first 2 years we fought all the time, and his temper was out of control but in the next year, we worked hard to work out the issues in our ...
A. 9 November 2013: Wellll, if he were my husband my first response to the comment about vaginal reconstruction would have been that hopefully the plastic surgeon offered "couples" discounts, because I wasn't satisfied with his d**k either ;) But then again I hon... (read in full...)
Why is it taking me so long to get over someone who wasn't that great of a boyfriend in the first place?
Q. I'm having a really hard time moving on from my ex-boyfriend but I don't think it's normal or healthy because it's been a year and a half since he broke up with me. We dated for 2 years while he was in the military. He wanted me to move to a dif...
A. 9 November 2013: First off, you were with him for two years. When a relationship lasts that long, it's not surprising that you think about the person from time to time, even well after it has ended. If you're in your early twenties I'm guessing he was one of your ... (read in full...)
I said a terrible thing, and now it's over. What can I do to get him back?
Q. I said a terrible thing but I think the reaction of my long time boyfriend is way too much. We live together for 7 years and have 1 child together, our daughter is 6.5. We are young professionals, love each other or so I thought, and we are overa...
A. 9 November 2013: Without knowing your boyfriend it's impossible to gauge the depth of his attachment to his late pet... but I will say that for most people this would be a major overreaction. So much so that I can't help but wonder if he was, for some other reason, ... (read in full...)
It's getting harder for me to deal with my boyfriends working patterns, does it ever get better?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I have been with my boyfriend for several years now and since I've known him he has worked extremely unsociable hours. He's in the entertainment business so his hours always involve evenings, weekends and almost every big ...
A. 7 November 2013: As long as your schedules are opposite like this, it's not going to get any better in terms of his ability to attend events you would like to attend as a couple. Only you can decide how high a priority that is to you in a relationship. Do you ge... (read in full...)
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