A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I was at my boyfriend's Christmas party recently and his boss, who is married, grabbed my hips and pulled me onto his lap while my boyfriend and I were standing beside the table he was sitting at (we were saying our goodbyes to everyone at the table). I sat there on his lap for a little bit but sooner than later got back up. Does anyone else think that was sort of a way of flirting/sexual? That's sort of the vibe I got but maybe that's a common thing for married men to do? I have to admit that it sort of turned me on, does that mean I'm a bad girlfriend? I still love my boyfriend very much and yet still fantasize about other guys, especially if they flirt with me and I find them attractive.
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female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (29 December 2013):
 Agreed w/SVC... it's not common and it's not appropriate. At all.
What he did was almost certainly sexual in motivation but I would not call it flirting. He didn't try to sweet-talk you into coming to him; he GRABBED you. I'm guessing he was intentionally pushing the limit with you, knowing that your boyfriend wasn't likely to confront him about it due to the difference in the power balance between them. He probably got an extra thrill out of that.
I'm curious - what was your boyfriend's reaction at the time? What about in private, after the fact? I assume he works with the boss on a regular basis so he may have some insight into why the guy would have done that and whether he is the same way around other women.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 December 2013):
 It's not common and it's not nice and it's NOT flirting.
It's sexual harassment....
FLIRTING is all about the look, the innuendo, the emotional aspects.
To physically TOUCH you without your permission is assault.
IF a man not my spouse did this to me I'd not sit there at all.
being turned on is not your fault... thinking of others is not a horrible thing and it does not mean you don't love your boyfriend.
but the boss was way out of line.
and you should not have accepted that behavior.
...............................
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