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... Send *ike I see it a private message | | | *ike I see it's profile:I believe that everyone has the right to be treated with respect in his or her relationship, and advise accordingly. Life is too short to stay where you're not happy!
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How do we handle gossipers? This is my first relationship since my marriage broken down.
Q. I've recently started my first relationship since my marriage broke up and it's with a guy who I began working with last year. At the time I met him, my marriage was strong and then we started to fight more and more until I couldn't stand being in...
A. 4 October 2015: If your marriage is truly beyond repair, then officially filing for - and getting - a divorce would be a huge step in the right direction. Unfortunately, your current situation (still legally married to one man while involved with another) gives ... (read in full...)
Did I just lose my virginity?
Q. hi, I'm 18 yrs old and I fingered myself then it just started bleeding Does it mean that I have lost my virginity?? Will it bleed when i have actual sex?...
A. 17 September 2015: You haven't lost your virginity, because you still haven't had sex with another person.
Your hymen, however, may no longer be intact, in which case you would be unlikely to bleed (again) during first-time sex. Note that many women do not bleed at... (read in full...)
What's the the right form of contraception for us?
Q. Hi there, Me and my fiance are struggling a bit to find the right form of contraception! We've been together for four years and for about three of those we've been using the withdrawal method. We've never really been too worried about preg...
A. 7 September 2015: I'll second what Tisha said... The idea that no condom available today is big enough to fit your partner comfortably sounds like a bit of a stretch. Pun not intended! This excuse is the type that usually comes out when a man wants to insist on ... (read in full...)
If he's tired of social media then why is he still following me?
Q. I am curious as to why a guy I was talking to would suddenly delete all his social media accounts without good explanation. His shabby excuse was because he just didn't feel like dealing with it. Yet prior this he was constantly on facebook and ...
A. 5 September 2015: It's anyone's guess why he would delete his profiles.
Perhaps he already has a partner and she's gotten suspicious of him.
Perhaps he's trying to keep his options open and not appear publicly interested in any particular woman, i.e. you,... (read in full...)
Am I wrong in insisting she get a divorce?
Q. I really need some help figuring out what to do in my current situation. I have been with my girlfriend for a year now. When we first met I didn't tell her about an older daughter that I have because she hasn't been in my life for a very long ...
A. 5 September 2015: No, you are NOT wrong to insist on a divorce. Stick to your guns on that!
But in all honesty I doubt that your girlfriend will follow through on one. She is currently enjoying her cake and eating it too - you might say she has the best of both ... (read in full...)
I can't see myself with anybody else, but she haas a boyfriend!
Q. I'm a 59 yr. old man.my wife passed away 22 months ago.i met a much younger woman about a year after my wife passed.i immediately had a liking for her although i know i wasn't ready for a relationship.so as time progressed i began to like her more ...
A. 13 August 2015: First off, my sincere condolences for the loss of your wife.
About this girl - I think you need to realize that what you're hoping for is very, very unlikely to happen, no matter how much you might desire it. I have seen age gaps of ten or even ... (read in full...)
I don't want to feel guilty about the money I was awarded as compensation
Q. Two years ago I was raped by my best friend's boyfriend, it had a terrible affect on my life, I gave up work because I worked in a shop and I just couldn't face talking to people, I lost my home because I couldn't afford the rent and had to move in ...
A. 23 July 2015: Oh goodness... what an insensitive thing for her to say. I'm sorry that you have gone through all this and that you are now feeling low all over again.
If I had to guess, she *meant* well and was trying to point out what she saw as a 'silver ... (read in full...)
I have self confidence issues. Why wouldn't my boyfriend defend me when nasty remarks were said?
Q. I have almost zero confidence when it comes to my body. I'm a size 16, and due to being bullied as a child due to my weight I have never had any confidence with guys. I have had boyfriends in the past, but I had been single for nearly two years...
A. 22 July 2015: Not all men are like this, but unfortunately you have found yourself a jerk. A good man would be proud to call you his girlfriend, whether on Facebook or to a room full of friends, and he wouldn't tolerate cruel insults to your appearance let alone ... (read in full...)
Now that my former lecturer has sent me a follow request is it ok for me to approach him? I have a crush on him
Q. I had a crush on a college professor who is quite young. He knows that I have a huge crush on him. So after I graduated from college (maybe around a month) I got a follow request from him on instagram. I accepted his follow request. I posted an upda...
A. 20 July 2015: I don't have Instagram myself but many of my friends and co-workers do, and it seems quite commonplace for people to "follow" platonic friends or even people they don't know in real life. So you can't infer much (if anything) regarding his ... (read in full...)
Do I throw away a twenty year marriage because he is more interested in porn stars than me?
Q. My husbands obsession with Porn is driving me crazy . There is no desire when he looks at me anymore . Our sex life feel like he is in another world . He has his favourite porn stars saved on his computer.I've Tried talking to him and he sa...
A. 19 July 2015: If I'm not mistaken you've posted several questions about this previously... which leads me to believe that the issues your husband is having with porn
- are ongoing over a span of months if not years
- have not improved during that time frame
... (read in full...)
I don't want to cheat on my husband but don't know how long I can go being unsatisfied
Q. So basically for the past 2 weeks or so I've been extremely horny. Like to the point that I think I might cheat on my husband if given the opportunity. I also gave myself my first orgasm ever last night. I am not being satisfied by my husband at the ...
A. 19 July 2015: Thanks for the follow-ups, OP. They make all the difference in painting a clearer picture of your situation!
Two things stand out about the additional information you've provided:
1) His porn use IS starting to become a problem in your marriage... (read in full...)
I don't want to cheat on my husband but don't know how long I can go being unsatisfied
Q. So basically for the past 2 weeks or so I've been extremely horny. Like to the point that I think I might cheat on my husband if given the opportunity. I also gave myself my first orgasm ever last night. I am not being satisfied by my husband at the ...
A. 19 July 2015: How is your husband getting his needs met?
If you're close in age his libido *should* be pretty healthy and he is either driving himself crazy going without (unlikely, because you're constantly offering sex) or getting his rocks off another ... (read in full...)
Apart from seeing the doctor and taking the medication Dr recommends and all I've tried: What else will get rid of my recurrent thrush?
Q. Hi, For almost a year now I have been struggling with long term thrush symptoms. Sounds silly but it's driving me insane and affecting my sex life. I have been to the doctors about this on more than one occasion as try just tell me to buy the ...
A. 18 July 2015: In addition to all the fantastic advice you have been given I would suggest that your partner also be seen and tested for thrush, as men can have it and experience no symptoms whatsoever. You say your case of thrush responds to the treatments - ... (read in full...)
Together 4.5 years. How do I pick myself up and cope with him moving on, after our recent breakup?
Q. I have no idea how else to deal with this. My ex fiance broke up with me 2.5 months ago after 4.5 years together. There was no cheating or lying or anything else; just, I guess he grew apart from me. I was ready, absolutely ready for us ...
A. 18 July 2015: I'm really sorry to hear you are going through this, but if it's any consolation your ex sounds like a fantastic person...
...to delete from your life immediately, that is.
I say this because I'm not so sure that he "moved on" as quickly as yo... (read in full...)
How can I modify girl on top position to make it more comfortable for me?
Q. Hi guys. I've been in a relationship with this guy for about six months and we have been having sex regularly for the last few months. And yes it is amazing. My only issue is that when I'm on top I can't seem to hold him in and my legs cramp ea...
A. 17 July 2015: Have you tried *reverse* cowgirl? From personal experience, I'm not the most flexible person and regular girl on top also isn't so comfortable for me. And yes, it's tougher to keep my partner "in" during standard cowgirl because the natural angles ... (read in full...)
My husband is convinced I have cheated on him, but I have been nothing but faithful.. should I stay or should I go?
Q. Help! My husband thinks I have cheated on him. We have been married 9 years and sex was great at first until he started accusing me of cheating because my vagina was too loose, it didn't feel the same.ilove him and have been faithful too him the ...
A. 15 July 2015: Well... I suppose it's possible that a man of your husband's generation isn't particularly well informed on female reproductive health, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt in answering this. With one caveat: once you KNOW he is educated on the ... (read in full...)
Started a relationship with a friend but I don't get turned on by her
Q. Hi there, recently my best friend of 4 years and I started dating and it's great. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone, and she feels the same, and it's so nice. The only problem is, I haven't been turned on around her since we first started ...
A. 15 July 2015: It sounds like your last partner perhaps had more experience with girl-on-girl relationships than your new partner does. Think back to your first time with a woman and how it might not have come naturally to you - i.e., you were probably a more ... (read in full...)
Can I get over this revelation? Three years ago, before I knew her, she gave a guy a bj.
Q. Okay so im 18 and have been with my girlfriend who is 19 for a year. I'm very happy with her, and still am, but recently found out that when she was barely 15, she gave a bj to a guy who she only got with 2 or 3 times, who she knew had a gf but d...
A. 12 July 2015: I also had my first kiss at 16... did nothing sexual until age 19... and my first sexual partner was a guy my age, a virgin in the traditional way, who had previously gotten a BJ in his mid-teens. Did this make him a bad person or a bad partner for ... (read in full...)
If my bf really loves me why does he want me to have sex with other partners?
Q. I've been dating my bf since Jan 2015. I'm 18 and he's 35. Big age gap I know but love has no boundary. My family likes him and him and I know very well that we're each other's life partner. However I believe that because of his age he is too le...
A. 10 July 2015: The answer to your question actually lies in part of what you posted:
"He gets off the idea of me sleeping with others"
The idea of you with other people is a sexual FETISH for him. This practice is known as "cuckolding" and it's a more comm... (read in full...)
Passcodes on phones. Should we each know each other's passcode?
Q. My BF knows the passcode on my iphone.. I don't really need to hide anything from him so for me is ok if he just grab my phone. But he has his own phone and I don't have access to his passcode.. I feel it's not right. I did talk about this in the ...
A. 10 July 2015: This may not be what you want to hear, but there is nothing that obligates him to give you his passcode. You don't say how long you have been dating, but given that you are not legally committed to one another, there are MANY non-incriminating ... (read in full...)
He has a Gf and they are expecting a baby. I do miss him. Should I proceed to reconnect with him?
Q. I'll try to make this short and sweet. About 4/5 years ago I started dealing with a high school friend. We were dealing with each other for a little over 2 years when I found out he had a girlfriend. Who turned out to be a girl we went to school ...
A. 10 July 2015: What you do is stay far away from this guy. He lied to you for two years while going home to the girlfriend he was cheating on. Now he wants you around for more lies while he cheats on the same girlfriend. Now that you have gotten to see a pattern ... (read in full...)
What are the reasons or justifications to share, or not share, one's sexual past with a significant other?
Q. Would you share your sexual past with someone who you're in a committed relationship with, or do you think it's best to leave the past in the past? Similarly, would you want to know about your significant other's past or would you prefer not to k...
A. 10 July 2015: Speaking for myself, basics are OK but I don't ask for details and nor will I volunteer them. I've reached an age where I can reasonably expect any potential partner to have a sexual past and where they will reasonably assume that I have one also. ... (read in full...)
Sharing cost 50/50 in relationship?? How does it work?
Q. I been seeing this guy for about 4 months now. When we usually go out he pays for dinner, movies, or anything else we do. I help to pay here and there. Mostly he is the one paying. The other day, he ask that we should share the cost 50/50 and that ...
A. 9 July 2015: My partner and I routinely trade off paying for things. We don't keep track of who spends what, but if he buys dinner on one date I pay for it the next time and vice versa. This has been 100% MY choice and not a request from him. Since we are pretty ... (read in full...)
I discovered he was on sex sites before we met, what would you do?
Q. Hey everyone..... Just looking for some advice in regards to my situation please :) After a very very bad relationship, I remained single for the past 5 years or so..... Basically to build myself back up and also I just didn't have the time or...
A. 9 July 2015: Not quite the same thing, but I did the Google check with a prospective partner about five years ago.
I really liked him and felt a lot of chemistry with him from our very first date. I was looking for a relationship, not a hookup, so I was dism... (read in full...)
My health issues are making me uncomfortable thinking about having sex
Q. I'm 43 and have an issue that maybe not a lot of women talk about but it is affecting my self confidence a lot! Basically, due to perimenopause and dropping hormones (not childbirth) I have been diagnosed with a mild bladder prolapse and possibly ...
A. 8 July 2015: What did your GP say about sex? First and foremost, make sure you follow those recommendations, whatever they are. If you are not cleared for full vaginal sex until the prolapse improves, respect that advice. If you were not given specific advice ... (read in full...)
We've been having arguments over silly things. Is it frustration that could be causing me to get angry so quickly? But if his cousin speaks badly of me should he speak up?
Q. Okay, so I haven't used my dear cupid a little bit over a year. I first got it when I was in 8th grade or a freshman; when I was in my first serious relationship. I had put some stories on how I was pregnant at 16 and so forth. Anyway's, ...
A. 24 June 2015: Thank you for the follow-up. Given the additional information you've shared, I think you are very wise to start looking to the future and being able to support yourself and your daughters.
Purposefully leaving you home alone with no keys so that ... (read in full...)
We've been having arguments over silly things. Is it frustration that could be causing me to get angry so quickly? But if his cousin speaks badly of me should he speak up?
Q. Okay, so I haven't used my dear cupid a little bit over a year. I first got it when I was in 8th grade or a freshman; when I was in my first serious relationship. I had put some stories on how I was pregnant at 16 and so forth. Anyway's, ...
A. 22 June 2015: Do you act this way toward others, or just toward him? If only he brings these feelings out of you, calling it bipolar or mood swings is probably not so accurate, as these are much harder traits to selectively "turn off" around neutral parties. I ... (read in full...)
Is it generally normal for a Doctor to ask a patient if the patient is married?
Q. I had a followup with a female doctor/consultant after procedure. Big hospital, see different doctor each time usually, so probably won't see again. This one asked me if I am married, was very friendly and when I left told me how nice it was to know...
A. 22 June 2015: Doctors come with a wide variety of personalities, just like the rest of us. Bedside manner is a skill like any other and as with any skill there are varying levels of proficiency.
Like you I don't see an "assigned" doctor but rather whoever ... (read in full...)
Why was my wife so good to her cheating ex partners but I have to beg for sex?
Q. My wife and I are very happily married. However, in the past she was involved in very emotionally abusive relationships in the past where she put up with a lot of cheating and verbal abuse. She told me that she always tried to give more of herself ...
A. 16 June 2015: Two things stand out to me about the situation you describe.
1) She was married to one (or both) of these losers from the past. She had children with at least one of them. I don't think you should look at it as either of them being better or more ... (read in full...)
How much should a partner pay for 'board' in their partners home?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year now and recently got engaged at the beginning of the year. He moved out home and moved into mine (i have a mortgage). We agreed he would pay a certain amount a week to cover bills. I pa...
A. 16 June 2015: Discussing it with him is a good idea. As others have said, the current state of things is very unfair for you. He's not only living rent free with you, but you're also subsidizing the costs of food, utilities, etc. He pays $80 a month? I guarantee ... (read in full...)
I've discouraged him in the past. But should I, or should I not continue to suppress my feeling, for B, again?
Q. Hi everyone :) I think I am only now realizing that maybe I like my friend more than just a friend. I have a friend (call him B) who I have known for around 5 years. He was one of my first friends when I moved to USA. We met in a community co...
A. 16 June 2015: My gut feeling is that his words to you are a very thoughtful and profound thing to say to someone you see only as a friend.
Whether or not circumstances allow anything to happen between you in the future is a separate issue entirely, but I'm gues... (read in full...)
My cousin has now totally blanked me. Should I persist in trying to talk to him about our night of passion together?
Q. Advice needed please. So Saturday night I invited my Cousin over for a chat and a catch up as I'm staying in the area while another family member is in hospital. My cousin and I are not close and although we've met a few times and went to the ...
A. 16 June 2015: It sounds like maybe hormones got the best of him and while you are accepting and open to the possibility of being a "cousin couple," he realized the next morning that this situation might not be for him, even if he wanted it at the time.
I agr... (read in full...)
Is it weird to track your BF/GF's whereabouts on Find My Friends App on iPhone?
Q. What does everybody think of tracking your boyfriend or girlfriend's whereabouts on the Find My Friends App on iPhone? Where you use GPS to know exactly where they are on a map (or where their phone is) at any given time throughout the day... unless ...
A. 16 June 2015: Weren't you going to leave this guy?... (read in full...)
I know that I have to move on and find someone else but how do I deal with all of these feelings of guilt, regret and jealousy in the meantime?
Q. Bit of a long and I'll admit quite a convoluted question here. A while back I told one of my friends that I liked her as more than a friend and she was super cool about it but she said that she didn't feel the same way. Anyway, we stayed friend...
A. 16 June 2015: How do you deal with these feelings? Recognize that you're playing "what if," and it's driving you crazy. The guilt, regret, and jealousy - all of that is predicated on the idea of the life you might be having with her instead of her current ... (read in full...)
Why do guys keep fading away from me so quickly?
Q. Hello, I am a single female struggling to navigate dating in this hookup age. I have tried online unsuccessfully and did not like the unnatural feeling of it. I'm also shy with men and struggled with that. I recently practiced talking to gu...
A. 16 June 2015: I agree - I think looking for men in bars is in essence pre-selecting men who are more likely to have traits you don't want in a relationship (as opposed to a hookup).
I'm generalizing here but men who go to bars specifically to meet women te... (read in full...)
My trust issues drove him away
Q. Can someone please give me some advice, im going out of my mind! I'm approaching 30 and have been battling trust issues all my life. Two males in my family sexually abused me from a young age and the two men that ive trusted just about enough to ...
A. 16 June 2015: Given all the difficult things you've had to endure in the past, it sounds like you are second-guessing something that may actually have been for the best.
No, your ex-boyfriend may not be directly responsible for any of the trust issues you brou... (read in full...)
Why do people offer remarks like "men are visual" as excuses to dismiss the feelings of those who take issue with objectification of women in pornography?
Q. Why do men expect women to be ok with being categories into body part in porn. Like big breast , small breast , big ass, skinny , young , old , black , white , Latino etc. The list goes on . Yet besides a reasonable sized penis , are men ever cat...
A. 14 June 2015: Check out any gay male porn site (for men, BY men, ABOUT men exclusively) and you will see exactly the same categorization of performers - by physical characteristics and sex acts they perform.
So I suspect it's less about objectifying women an... (read in full...)
I have no desire to get back together with my first love, but he keeps contacting me and I am running out of excuses!
Q. How do you get rid of a first love who keeps coming back? I know I'm going to sound like a nasty, selfish person - but obviously I'm not nasty and selfish enough - as I still can't seem to shake my first love off. The thing is - we (I'll call...
A. 9 June 2015: I agree with Honeypie. He doesn't get the hints and he believes the excuses, so he isn't hearing any of them for what they are. He's hearing "I'm busy" and taking that at face value, not reading into it and realizing what you mean is "I don't want ... (read in full...)
When my husband is around his ex step mother its like I don't even exist!
Q. This might be in the FAQ but I couldn't locate it. My husband and I have three kids ages 10, 9, and 5 months. We broke up before our middle child was born and then got back together a few years ago. When we first got back together everyth...
A. 9 June 2015: Did he have much contact with his birth mother growing up, or did his stepmother fulfill the "mother" role in his life?
I too don't really see evidence of an affair in this - it sounds more like a mother/son relationship. His focus on what she... (read in full...)
I need help leaving this married man. I just can't do it!
Q. I have been here many times before. I am the loser who is in love with a married man. I know I need to leave but I just can't find it in myself to do it. I know he doesn't love me. He told me. And he told me he will never love me. I have ...
A. 9 June 2015: You are not a loser; you are a human being. You are a woman with hopes, dreams, and love to give. Unfortunately you are hard at work wasting that positive energy on someone who doesn't deserve any of it.
Believe me when I say your man would no... (read in full...)
I think it is wrong for a guy to ask for a woman's personal address after one date. I don't know how to handle it. Also he sent me the text at midnight and it woke me up.
Q. Having met a guy via a dating website a couple of months ago and exchanging personal emails (quite lengthy ones) we decided to meet up a few days ago. We live about 2 hours from each other so I was happy to meet half way. I'm really careful about ...
A. 5 June 2015: I'd be honest with him. Let him know you think the day went well and you'd like to see him again, but that you're not comfortable giving out an address that isn't JUST yours after only one date.
How he responds to this will actually be a terrific... (read in full...)
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