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... Send *ike I see it a private message | | | *ike I see it's profile:I believe that everyone has the right to be treated with respect in his or her relationship, and advise accordingly. Life is too short to stay where you're not happy!
***Please note: although I'm flattered by inbox requests for advice, the beauty of DearCupid lies in the wide variety of perspectives shared by the aunts on this site. If you have a relationship question, please post it to the main site so that more than one person can assist you with it :)
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I feel like my marriage was a mistake
Q. I've only been married 5 months, but I feel like I made a mistake. There are a lot of "factors" to this story that I feel are important to really give you a perspective, so it might be a long, convoluted post, but I'll do my best to get the point ...
A. 18 March 2014: I have not personally experienced this, but your post reminds me very strongly of the way my partner (who has been married before) describes his former marriage. The parallels are striking enough (to me) that it's worth bringing up a subject I ... (read in full...)
I bought concert tickets in a price range I could afford but am feeling guilty now that my girlfriend wants to pay for an upgrade herself!
Q. I bought concert tickets for my gf's favorite band to surprise her, but since I'm a student, and work, money is tight for me. I could only afford the cheaper, non great seats. I wish I could afford the best seats, but they were well out of my price ...
A. 18 March 2014: Unless you're in the 1%, $300 is not a "cheap" gift.
Obviously I don't know your girlfriend, and maybe she really does mean well. I do know that I would never personally bring something like that up in a situation where someone gave me a gift.
... (read in full...)
He acts like he doesn't know the first thing about me! Should I give up for good?
Q. Some of you may know some of my relationship history with my past questions. I am still back together with my children's father. But still having issues. Nothing has helped and now the little things are starting to get on my nerves. Is it normal to ...
A. 17 March 2014: Like the others I have a really hard time believing he "forgot" you have a potentially life-threatening allergy and bought you a trigger food by mistake.
If he did do it on purpose, that's pretty immature of him. I'm sure he knew YOU knew bet... (read in full...)
Is 26 too late to start a new life?
Q. I've suffered from serious bouts of depression and anxiety related disorders since I was 18, and used to binge drink regularly to alleviate my woes. I'm almost 26 and I don't know how but i'm managing to overcome this mindset which has made my life ...
A. 17 March 2014: Not at all! I'm your age and will be doing the same - voluntarily! - in about six months. I've spent the last four years at a job I worked very hard to get and ended up hating. I was good at it because I made it my business to be good at it, but in ... (read in full...)
Would a blood test tell if she were still pregnant?
Q. this is a kind of medical question so i only really want to know if its possible. so basically in early January my sister told me she had just miscarried at 3 and half months. however since then she has yet to get her period. she also has gained ...
A. 16 March 2014: If your sister saw a doctor after the miscarriage I'm sure they informed her of any potential complications or things to watch out for.
Is she older or younger than you? I ask because if she's legally an adult she can probably be trusted to follo... (read in full...)
It could be crazy coincidence, but then .........
Q. This has happened twice and now I'm curious if it's just coincidence or something more? I met two girls on two separate occasions through two separate mutual friends at group get-togethers. (I have different sets of friends, like old school frien...
A. 16 March 2014: On my most desperate day of singledom I still wouldn't have made plans with a girl I didn't like (or was on the fence about) just because she had a hot boyfriend.
I do think it's a coincidence.
Personally I never try to exchange contact... (read in full...)
I want my lazy husband to leave my house but he wont go!
Q. hey I'm 39 years old married to a man who is 36 years old we been married for 10 years and have to children together I had two children's from my own things were good until my husband lost his job since tat he become different he don't wanna find a ...
A. 16 March 2014: By your own statements he is not a good father, not a good provider, not a good PARTNER in terms of sharing the household workload and to top it all off he's a selfish lover who demeans your body?
...Based on what you have posted I think getting ... (read in full...)
Have any women on here gone to a bar alone?
Q. I have been on my own for a long time now. It has been bothering me for a while but it has only become a problem recently. I don't have particularly great coping skills and feelings of loneliness have become overwhelming. I really need to make some ...
A. 15 March 2014: I have, but only when traveling solo and feeling socially starved - and then I'll typically limit myself to a drink or two so that I can keep my wits about me the entire time.
At home with friends I'm not much into the bar scene - there are, in ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends mom could care less about meeting me?
Q. So in June it will be 1 year of dating each other and I haven't met his mom nor has he met my parents. Now his mom lives 2 hours away and mine live 30 minutes. But the thing is he'll see him mom usually once a month. She could really care less about ...
A. 15 March 2014: Your boyfriend knows his mother well enough to be able to gauge whether this is something to worry about, or whether she's specifically ostracizing you after having been friendly to others in the past.
Since he doesn't sound concerned about it... (read in full...)
Why do the guys I get close to only see me as a friend?
Q. I've been friends with this guy for quite a while now and I've never imagined myself falling for him. He's really fun to hangout out with and our conversations never gets boring we also share the same interests. We always joke around about us being ...
A. 13 March 2014: Ouch, that's tough and I'm sorry you're going through it.
All I can say is that he's probably thought of you as "just a friend" for long enough that that mindset is now difficult for him to shake. If you and he were to meet now for the very fir... (read in full...)
I feel my boyfriend was happier in his previous relationship than he is with me.
Q. I seem to be having a problem and I would like to get some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months. I can honestly say I'm really in love with him and care a whole lot about him. This is what my problem is, I think he loved his...
A. 12 March 2014: So if I understand the timeline correctly he was with her for three years... was single for seven months, "several" of which he spent trying to get her back, then began dating you?
I know this is not what you will want to hear, and I'm sorry...... (read in full...)
Tax credit awards. Is my dad taking all the money?
Q. I was not born in the UK I moved here when I was 8. I thought that if a child is not born in this country then they can't get child benefits or tax whatever. A letter can through today from HM revenue and customs about tax credits award wi...
A. 12 March 2014: I'm not familiar with the laws in the UK but more information would be useful...
Who pays for your tuition?
What about housing, food, and so on?
For tax purposes, is he legally able to claim you as a dependent?
Thanks!... (read in full...)
I've never had a bj to completion, should I try with this guy?
Q. I am a 30 year old straight/bi curious man and I have never gotten a blowjob to completion. The woman has always stopped before I orgasm. I have the oppportunity to let another man give me a bj to completion. He wants to in the worst way and I am ...
A. 10 March 2014: Go for it, as long as you're single AND upfront with him about not wanting anything more than a one-time BJ.
Otherwise it's no different than letting a girl you're not interested in provide you sexual favors on the mistaken assumption that doi... (read in full...)
Is it really a platonic friendship when the other person wants more?
Q. Hi maybe somebody can help me I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year. He's a very great guy and good looking. The thing that has been bothering me is he has a few female friends who are really into him. I hate to sound selfish, ...
A. 9 March 2014: If you were posting here to complain about him HAVING female friends, that would be an insecurity issue.
But in your case he is knowingly stringing along girls who like him and trying to justify his behavior with "Well, I'd never actually *date* t... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to wish my ex-crush a happy birthday?
Q. I had (and am still trying to get over) a serious crush on guy for a while and end of last year decided to tell him. On facebook, as we hardly ever see each other. He was flattered but only liked me as a friend. He asked me about my plans for this ...
A. 9 March 2014: For your own progress, it's a terrible idea as you will then be secretly hoping to hear back from him. You freely admit you're not over the guy.
And as for the friendship - no offense, but if you've been out of contact with him for months since de... (read in full...)
I feel torn and paralyzed and I don't know where to go from here.
Q. I previously posted a question on here asking about the lack of passion/chemistry in my relationship and received amazing answers that I can honestly say saved my sanity because I was starting to go crazy. To make a long story short, I have been dat...
A. 9 March 2014: It sounds as though a lot of fundamental things about this man would need to change for you to be happy and satisfied in a relationship with him. People don't typically just flip a switch and become "social" where before they were not, or go from ... (read in full...)
Don't tell me to get over it because I want him back!
Q. hi, I am in a really difficult situation right now and would need some advice. I was seeing this man for over 3 years, we had quite a big argument which was kind of the last straw for him. In my opinion I was only bit sarcastic and his reaction...
A. 9 March 2014: I'm sorry to hear you're suffering over this, but I am in complete agreement with Aunty BimBim... you can't make him come back to you unless that's what he also wants.
Unfortunately, if you feel that he ended the relationship over somethin... (read in full...)
Hairy as, I am so hairy its embaressing!
Q. Im 15 and am VERY hairy, it is a genetic thing, now i can handle the hairy legs, arms, feet, hands, face but i have no idea what to do down there. Its very out of control, in the sense that it spreads, its not thick but its black and i cant wear ...
A. 9 March 2014: Definitely have experience with this one as I got my dad's dark hair and am naturally quite hairy "for a woman." I know it feels awkward now but as you get older you'll probably feel a lot more matter-of-fact about it.
If you're just looking ... (read in full...)
As her boss should I let go and have sex with this woman who asked me?
Q. I am a divorced guy who manages about a dozen women where I work. This one woman asked me to have sex with her. We are both unattached and about the same ages. I said being her boss it put's me in a situation where it could become a lawsuit. She ...
A. 8 March 2014: No! No no no no, don't do it. Masturbate three times a day if need be but do NOT get involved with one of your subordinates.
No matter how "trustworthy" she has been over the years, that's been on a professional basis and could change in two seco... (read in full...)
He dropped the bombshell that he didn't know when and IF he wanted kids at all!
Q. Hi. I'm in a tricky situation and I don't know weather to go with my heart or my head. I've been with my current boyfriend for 2 years , we also live together which makes things harder. My boyfriend has known since day 1 that I would like ...
A. 8 March 2014: You have a really tough choice here.
I'm not sure that he was "messing you around" so much as doing some soul-searching himself as to whether he could see himself as a father one day. You have already told him you absolutely want kids and so he un... (read in full...)
Why don't I receive much attention from men?
Q. Why do I not receive much attention from the general male population? Before you proceed to trash this email, thinking it comes from some innocent 22-year-old who is fishing for compliments to feed into her sky-high ego, I assure you I am fairly e...
A. 8 March 2014: Your "long-winded bitter post" actually has a couple major clues in it as to why you've been striking out with men.
You list all the things you think are positive about yourself, which is great! Self-esteem is very important to have.
But... ... (read in full...)
How would you cope with learning she has a boyfriend?
Q. Hello Cupid What will you call a girl who leads you on for a good few months of dating until you realise she has a boyfriend already? How would you cope up with that and what will you do ? Confronting her or asking why she did it be of any ...
A. 8 March 2014: Block her on the social networks you both use.
Classes you can't do much about... if it's not a large lecture hall you are going to notice each other there. That said, if she knows why you've cut contact with her, I doubt she'll approach you. If ... (read in full...)
Do I hang around and wait, or should I walk?
Q. I had been going with my girl friend for over 3 years, she 55 years old. and I'm 70. she got upset on valentine day because I didn't bring her flowers. She made feel like a fool that night. I reminded her, I alway brought her flowers every Monday ...
A. 8 March 2014: I'm sorry to hear you are going through this...
Unfortunately if she no longer wants to be in the relationship, she has the right to leave, regardless of your feelings about it.
It doesn't sound like this is actually about the not getting flow... (read in full...)
How would you cope with learning she has a boyfriend?
Q. Hello Cupid What will you call a girl who leads you on for a good few months of dating until you realise she has a boyfriend already? How would you cope up with that and what will you do ? Confronting her or asking why she did it be of any ...
A. 8 March 2014: What I'd CALL her is irrelevant... what I'd DO is move on and be grateful I didn't waste any more time on someone who lies and cheats. It doesn't matter why she did it - she's still not someone you want to keep in your life.
Get tested for STIs... (read in full...)
Am I just her guy on the side?
Q. Hi, my name is Daniel. About 10 months ago i started dating this girl, i always knew her since kindergarden i just never talked to her until the very end of highschool. So we spent the whole summer together, litterally almost every day, i lost my ...
A. 8 March 2014: It's possible she is only using you to pass the time.
It's also possible that she is genuinely heartbroken over having hurt you, and will never stray again.
The problem I see is that regardless of what she may or may not do in the future, her ... (read in full...)
We are emotionally perfect but sexually not compatible!
Q. I had earlier posted a question about losing spark with my long term boyfriend. We have been together for 9 years and ever since then he has had insecurity issues. Finally when he moved to another city 2 yrs back , our communication stopped ...
A. 8 March 2014: I have to ask... had you had sex before him, or was this your first sexual experience?
If so, it's normal to feel pain during first-time sex. Sadly it's also common, if not "normal," to feel wrong and guilty about it if you have been raised w... (read in full...)
How far should the "my house, my rules" concept be taken?
Q. I am curious to know your thoughts about the concept of "my house, my rules". Recently there was a question posted by an (over 18) OP living at home with her parents, who wanted to get a piercing against her mother's vigorous oppositi...
A. 5 March 2014: Forgot to add - I also think opinions on this will depend on whether you view "no tattoos/piercings while in my house" as a DRESS code or a code of CONDUCT.... (read in full...)
How far should the "my house, my rules" concept be taken?
Q. I am curious to know your thoughts about the concept of "my house, my rules". Recently there was a question posted by an (over 18) OP living at home with her parents, who wanted to get a piercing against her mother's vigorous oppositi...
A. 5 March 2014: I think part of the problem is that most over-18s living rent free at home have not yet experienced living on their own and therefore don't realize what an amazing gift they're being given. Because they've had it for so long, it feels more like an ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my close-minded mother?
Q. Hello, this may seem like a pathetic question...but how do I deal with my traditional close-minded mother? I am 20 and will be turning 21 soon, but I still live with my parents. I want to get an eyebrow piercing (I have wanted one since highscho...
A. 3 March 2014: Your question isn't pathetic, although since you still live at home I would tread carefully on this as with any major disagreement. Their house can, if they choose it to, mean "their rules" as well. What if your mother, in a fit of anger, says you ... (read in full...)
He said he's met someone else ...
Q. I'm sorry. I cant write all the details of this at the moment as I am so upset.My boyfriend has told me that he has met someone else. I cant understand it. He still seemed like he was in love with me when I last saw him on Tuesday. He went to his ...
A. 3 March 2014: I'm sorry to hear you are going through this.
I don't want to give you false hope - "I've met someone else" is not a way I would choose to announce the end of a relationship if I entertained any thoughts of eventually reconciling with my partner.... (read in full...)
Trying to communicate makes it worse!
Q. I don't know how to deal with this anymore. I need some help, please. I've been with my gf about a year and a half. We have always been that lovey dovey, sickening couple that was always stuck in the honeymoon phase. But lately it's feeling lik...
A. 3 March 2014: I remember reading once that during the honeymoon period two people interact not with each other, but with each other's ambassadors (if you will). What was meant by that is that during the honeymoon phase in a new relationship, both parties are ... (read in full...)
Love triangle: how to have one without hurting the other
Q. im stuck in a love triangle between two girls that are friends. one of these girls I have a strong attraction to and she has an attraction to me, but her friend likes me also. this leaves me and the girl im attracted to in the most horrible of ...
A. 2 March 2014: Your post gives your age as 26-29... is this accurate?
If so I think both you and the girl you would like to date are making a big deal out of a minor problem. What you describe is the sort of thing that's absolutely devastating to friendsh... (read in full...)
We cancelled the wedding and I am now stuck in limbo.
Q. is there any hope? I live with and had been planning to marry a loving exciting, thoughtful, generous man who I adore. He also will do anything for my children aged 21 and 18. Financially he has given everything he owns. The problem is that ...
A. 2 March 2014: You got sound advice here last time to basically the same question about whether this man is trustworthy or not:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-his-interest-normal-and-does-this-make.html
In that post you stated that although he had ... (read in full...)
I am in a long term relationship but having lustful thoughts of another!
Q. I have been with my bf for 6 years. I've been happy but over the last year I have started to have lustful feelings towards a male friend. I wouldn't want to date him and I would NEVER cheat. But what does this mean? Does it mean that I don't love my ...
A. 1 March 2014: If this is a desire you don't wish to act on in real life, it seems to me that it's more of a fantasy than anything else. And no, it does not mean you don't love your boyfriend. You may be feeling a bit bored or a bit comfortable in your ... (read in full...)
Work, sex, friendships and a web of secrets and lies.
Q. A guy I work with is a player. He used to see my friend about 2 years ago. She still liked him. We all work together. He built a friendship with me. It quickly turned into constant attention and he pursued me for about 3 months. We got really close ...
A. 1 March 2014: I'm sorry to hear you are hurting...
You fell prey to a serial cheater and unfortunately you learned the hard way that this guy's interest in cheating on his partner did not end with you. He's not yours to feel jealous over, and nor can you blam... (read in full...)
Should I back off and forget him?
Q. About a month and a half ago, I was at a local bar with my best friend and his younger sister and her friend. One of their guy friends came over to the table. I will call him Michael. I had seen him around before and thought he was good looking but ...
A. 28 February 2014: I'm sorry to say you are probably best off leaving Michael alone.
Your ex has shown himself to be very rude and childish by illustrating so clearly that he intends to be a source of drama in any potential relationship between you and Michael.... (read in full...)
He is eight years older, I like him and I think he likes me!
Q. Ok so I'm at my moms friends house all the time ...I sleep here almost every night. She is like another mother to me and I've known her my whole life. She lives with her husband, her kids, and her brother in law. They are all like a family to me and ...
A. 23 February 2014: If you were 18 and he was 26 I'd say go for it. Once both parties are of legal age then age gaps are (in my opinion anyway) much less significant overall; how "big a deal" they are will vary mainly based on maturity level and life goals of the two ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, but who's the daddy!
Q. heya, iv just found out im pregant and im not sure who the father is. i found out 4 days ago that i am pregrant and still am not sure if i should keep it or not. there are two possible fathers but there is only 3 days between them, so could n...
A. 23 February 2014: I did some further reading on the subject because I was curious, and I stand corrected.
You can in fact have your baby's DNA tested prenatally, although it appears to be pretty expensive to have this done and two of the three potential procedur... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, but who's the daddy!
Q. heya, iv just found out im pregant and im not sure who the father is. i found out 4 days ago that i am pregrant and still am not sure if i should keep it or not. there are two possible fathers but there is only 3 days between them, so could n...
A. 23 February 2014: Are you ready (emotionally and financially) to have a child, and to be a mother to him or her for 18 years knowing you may do so as a single parent?
If not, are you ready to have a child and to accept the emotional difficulties involved with cho... (read in full...)
His penis doesn't really stand up!
Q. Im 24 and Me and my boyfriend recently just started having sex, and I noticed that his penis doesn't really stand up. He can be fully hard but it still kind of flops over. I don't know if this is normal and he doesn't really seem to care about it. I ...
A. 18 February 2014: From teenhealthsource.com:
"An erect penis can stand straight out or at an upward or downward angle. It can also curve up or down or to one side."
If the angle of your boyfriend's erection has always been downward, and this doesn't represen... (read in full...)
Selfish in-laws and husband's a pushover with them. How can I speak to him about this?
Q. Thank you fir reading in advance. Sorry I know it is long. Me and my partner have been together for 4 years and have 2 children together, the youngest of which is 6 weeks. My partners family have not seen our youngest yet as they all live in...
A. 18 February 2014: You are not at all to blame for wanting to avoid traveling with a 6-week-old baby when money is tight. Explain to your MIL that you'd love for her to see the baby but can't afford to make the trip this minute. If she has an interest in seeing her ... (read in full...)
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