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... Send *ike I see it a private message | | | *ike I see it's profile:I believe that everyone has the right to be treated with respect in his or her relationship, and advise accordingly. Life is too short to stay where you're not happy!
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We’ve been dating one month and I found his arrest records online! Should I ask him about it? How?
Q. I’ve been dating a wonderful man for a month. We’re very compatible, he’s family oriented and successful, and does everything big and little to show he cares for me. All signs are very good. He’s an entrepreneur and there’s plenty of info about him ...
A. 30 April 2016: Fellow California resident here. If you know the location of his arrest, search the applicable county or municipal court. This is free in some jurisdictions (some of these will require that you know his date of birth or the case number in order to ... (read in full...)
Wearing jewelry from an ex whilst out on a date with a new partner... thoughts?
Q. I want to know what everybody's thoughts are on wearing jewellery from an ex partner whilst out on a date with a new partner. Thank you!...
A. 29 April 2016: I agree with Honeypie - no old engagement rings, and personally I'd say no promise rings either. Those particular pieces of jewelry hold meaning above and beyond ornamentation and they might imply to your new date that you are not emotionally "over" ... (read in full...)
Does she love me for my money? She never offers to pay!
Q. My girlfriend Lisa and I have been going together for almost ten months and our relationship seems to be sailing along quite smoothly. We're very compatible. We always have a lot of fun together and she never nags me. She's beautiful, classy and ...
A. 23 April 2016: Did you happen to meet her on a dating site for women seeking sugar daddies? I'm kidding, but that's what this dynamic reads like. It definitely sounds like you've found one of her more serious flaws.
Why do I say that? Well, if she can afford t... (read in full...)
Why do men like to ejaculate on their partner's body?
Q. Why do guys enjoy cumming on their partners body? Wouldn't it feel better for them to just leave it inside? My boyfriend almost always pulls out when we have sex and I end up with his sperm on my stomach and boobs. I don't hate it or anything, I ...
A. 17 April 2016: If he's getting extra enjoyment out of coming *on* you (i.e. he's told you he finds it sexy), it's probably something watching porn has conditioned him to like.
If it's something he just does, it's probably more out of convenience. Much easier a... (read in full...)
I've developed a crush on my straight boss! Help me get my feelings under control!
Q. Hello all, I have developed a crush on my straight boss and any tips on how to handle it would be welcome. We are both in long term relationships (5+ years, homosexual in my case, heterosexual in his). Apart from being extremely handsome, h...
A. 17 April 2016: Since you have realized (rightly so) that this crush can go nowhere, I think the best course of action here is to limit your contact with him for the time being. I don't think more extracurricular socializing is going to be of help. You know he HAS ... (read in full...)
Is my boss correct to pay me like this?
Q. My boss says she's going to pay me the 1st and 15 th every month, but that she has up to 5 days past pay date to pay me. Is this correct, should I accept this? I dont make that much anyways 25,000 a year. Also, I am living with my bf and have bill...
A. 15 April 2016: Employment laws vary by state, so it's impossible to tell you whether or not she is correct about this. What does your employment contract say about compensation and pay dates? I'd suggest finding your state's labor commission web page (try t... (read in full...)
How can I attract the right type of men to date?
Q. Hello everyone. I'm a woman with limited sexual experience but loves to show men a great time. My body count is extremely low. However I attract the wrong type of men who are over sexed, way too experienced and obviously they aim for the most ...
A. 15 April 2016: Based on the mixed messages in your post (and even your username, depending upon how one interprets the xxx) I suspect you may also be unknowingly presenting mixed messages in person.
You refer to your "body count" (which is a somewhat detached... (read in full...)
Have any ladies ever been rejected in asking a man out?
Q. Girls have you ever approached a guy and had him reject you? I am not talking about being dumped. I am talking about when you meet a guy, you put yourself out there and ask him out and he shoots you down. I have this theory. Most girls seem to ...
A. 15 April 2016: I have... age 16-17 maybe? I didn't start dating till age 16 or so, so although I didn't experience rejection aged 12-13 I did experience rejection very early on in my dating life.
Of course it bothered me - I had real feelings for the guy, and... (read in full...)
Found out I'm pregnant at 41 after a first date
Q. Please do not judge me , Im single and stable ,i went on a date with a guy we had a great date and planned to see each other again but he canceled the 2nd date saying he has issues and not ready to date. I have now found out im pregnant ( the condom ...
A. 15 April 2016: If you want to raise the baby and are financially able to do so, that's all that matters - and congratulations on your pregnancy! Your family may be surprised by the news but chances are they will come around eventually. I think your best course of ... (read in full...)
When I am tested for a STD should I trust the protocols in place re my privacy or should I give a false name?
Q. Hi, I am in need of advice. I am 18 years old and I recently had sex with 7 different men throughout the year. I had unprotected sex with 5 of those men. I am afraid that I caught an STD so I want to get checked. I plan to go to Planned Parentho...
A. 15 April 2016: I have personally used Planned Parenthood for birth control and STI testing before/between new partners at the times in my life where I couldn't afford regular health insurance, and have never had issues with my visits remaining confidential. Nor ... (read in full...)
My ex-girlfriend is pregnant by another man and has asked for my help!
Q. How should I feel? My ex-girlfriend is pregnant by another man and wants me to take her to get a abortion? ...
A. 25 March 2016: In answering your question I'm assuming she's not asking you to pay for the abortion, just needing a ride to the clinic and back.
Let me say first off that it is probably a legitimate request for help. Depending on the type of abortion she may ... (read in full...)
How do I tell this woman I've had second thoughts?
Q. Hello Dear Cupid Aunts and Uncles How is everyone? Okay, so here's my story... I am and always have been a bit of a cheeky chappy as my name says. I stop and talk to everyone. I've got time for everyone. It's just my nature and I think it...
A. 25 March 2016: I don't see any reason to string someone along when you're not interested, be it one date or a dozen dates. I think it would be much more unkind to take her out on that first date and allow her to feel like everything is going great when it's all a ... (read in full...)
Disappointed by my boyfriend's love making. He doesn't satisfy me. What are some options to address this?
Q. Hi all, I'm 17 and my boyfriend doesn't please me in bed? he was my first sexual relationship but he had one previously. I've taken in on all the things that turn him on and make sure I do them, I'm not keen on blowjobs though because I gag real...
A. 19 March 2016: Have you been successful in reaching orgasm by yourself (masturbating with fingers or toys)?
If yes, then you know what you like and how you need to be touched to feel pleasure. The idea that all women can reach a climax via vaginal sexual i... (read in full...)
My roommate caught me with my pants down - literally
Q. I have two roommates. One male and the other female. Im close with both but am closer with my roommate who is a girl as we hangout more. We are strictly friends though as I assume she has no romantic feelings for me. I don't have feelings for her ...
A. 19 March 2016: Something similar happened to me in college - I walked in on my roommate having sex with her boyfriend in our shared room. At that point in my life I'd never done anything more than kiss a boy, so it was eye-opening to say the least. I know how I ... (read in full...)
Why is he not scared that I'll become pregnant?
Q. There's this guy that i am seeing that i had sex with on the third date, after that it has been once a week(everytime we meet). We have seen eachother for approximately 2-3 months. BUT, there is one thing i dont understand. He always comes inside o...
A. 19 March 2016: Just a friendly reminder, the pill is completely useless against STIs so please consider a barrier method unless you've both tested clean and you trust him to be exclusive with you.
Now that that's out of the way, I agree it's a little odd he h... (read in full...)
He's not hit me. But could the other things he does be called abuse? what should I do?
Q. To be blunt and simple, when my year long boyfriend and i argue, he pushes me around. He'll grab me and squeeze my face, throw me down, he'll push me in front of almost anyone.. All throughout the year, he's never hit me though. He will punch...
A. 13 March 2016: Yes, it is abuse.
Yes, it WILL escalate. Bear in mind that the first year or so of dating is the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship. This is him on his BEST behavior. When he gets comfortable enough in the relationship and satisfied you're n... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and my mom hate each other!! Are my Mom's expectations reasonable?
Q. I have a big big issue. My mom and boyfriend don't like each other at all. My mom thinks my bf is rude and doesn’t like her, and he thinks she's annoying, and rude. Yes it is true that my mom can be very annoying, at times but there isn’t real...
A. 13 March 2016: Hopefully none of that bad blood between them is due to the month-long trip you took with your mother and weren't honest with your boyfriend about. You didn't happen to blame either of them to the other, did you?
You mentioned in that earlier ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my new girlfriend I had a one-night stand with her sister before we met?
Q. I recently started going out with this girl. She’s beautiful, smart, kind and funny. Pretty much everything I could ask for in a girl. The only problem? I’ve slept with her sister. I’m 23 and she’s 22. We’ve been going out for 3 weeks now. The o...
A. 8 March 2016: I second the advice given: be honest up front. This will either be a deal-breaker for her or it won't, but better that decision point arrive BEFORE you're both any more deeply invested in a relationship.
For what it's worth, I'm friends with a m... (read in full...)
I've decided to give my ex another chance. Do I cancel the date I had scheduled with another guy?
Q. Tonight Me and my (ex) boyfriend have decided to give it another go, we broke up a few weeks ago but stayed friends. he was scared about moving forward . my friend is on a dating site and knows hes on there too ( he hasnt deleted his profile ). ( he ...
A. 7 March 2016: So if I understand this correctly, a friend of yours is on a dating site and he or she alerted you to your ex's active profile (that he's left active despite a stated desire to reconnect). I didn't interpret any part of your post to read that your ... (read in full...)
Is making me go home after our third date a red flag?
Q. Ladies,reconnected with a old girlfriend from four years ago, three dates, second date, amazing sex, but she wouldn't let me stay the night,third date great time out dancing, went to her condo, brought Chinese, watched a good movie,one thirty,had ...
A. 6 March 2016: Red flag? I don't see one.
Maybe she felt that having sex with you on the second date was moving too fast, or that you might think badly of her for sleeping with you so soon after you two reconnected.
Please remember that just because she had ... (read in full...)
Texting. Is there a difference between a big X or a little x in a text from a man?
Q. Hi I am 40 and been briefly texting a guy that I know. After our initial chat by text I text him again on Friday and we had a 4.5 hour chat by text and as we were having a drink his texts became more loose but nothing bad and eventually we stopp...
A. 28 February 2016: I think you may be trying to read too much into this. Even if I knew he meant to send a large X, I'd interpret it the same way as a small one - a quick and casual expression of affection via text.
Also, for what it's worth - I don't know what kin... (read in full...)
10 euros? Is that really my worth? His ex wife walked away with all the luxuries and all I get is a gift for 10 euros?!
Q. Hi guys, i just wonder how everybody here think about this situation. I have a bf. we are 8 months now in our relationship. We are not living together. Our distance is about two hours drive. But we use to see each other almost every week, we call ...
A. 13 February 2016: Let's look at this objectively.
Your boyfriend has already been in (and been burned by) a relationship where all the expensive, showy gifts in the world still didn't get him a faithful partner. It sounds like his ex-wife wanted him mainly for the ... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend lie about where he was yesterday afternoon? Could he have cheated on me??
Q. I am in desperate need of help. So desperate I am reaching out to strangers on the internet. But I feel like I already know some of you by reading your advice. Yes, I have been here before seeking comfort and help. And here I am again. I ...
A. 13 February 2016: Taken by itself, him forgetting to tell you a SECOND time about his plans to have coffee with his male friend is hardly definitive proof of cheating.
It's not even evidence of anything, really. Except maybe that he's getting older and getting ... (read in full...)
Are these noises normal?
Q. Hi im 22 yrs. I jst want to knw what causes ur vagina to make noises during sex when ur sleeping with ur partner?...
A. 7 February 2016: It's completely normal, in fact there's a word for it - "queefing." As your partner thrusts into you, his penis can drive air up into your vagina. When too much air builds up inside you, it comes back out, making noises as it does so.
This ... (read in full...)
How can I escape this love triangle?
Q. Please don't judge me. I am in love with a married man and somehow I am failing to leave even though I have been told many times to do so. It has been fine until yesterday. His wife found a message from me on his phone telling him I love him. He t...
A. 7 February 2016: No judgement here. I truly believe you don't choose who you love, only whether or not you act on it and to what extent.
Of course this man wants to carry on. He has a wife to keep him comfortable and taken care of at home, and you to provide ... (read in full...)
Why did he stop texting me completely?
Q. I've been speaking to a guy for quite some time and we finally went on our first date. I told him that I am not looking for a relationship and he said he isn't as well but said that he would like a companion and that if a relationship happens, it ...
A. 7 February 2016: From the back story you've provided in your post, it sounds like he was probably hoping all along for more than just casual sex with you.
When you said you weren't looking for a relationship, he had two options: tell you that he did in fact wan... (read in full...)
I've changed my mind about children .....
Q. I made a deal with my husband before we got married in 2011. Back then I was young and immature. We considered each other soul mates. We both liked the care free lifestyle. Like playing video games, travelling and partying. We work in the gam...
A. 6 February 2016: As a fellow former believer that I'd never, ever want children, I can sympathize with you. As I've gotten older and achieved some of my life goals and found a more generally stable footing in life, love, and finances, my views on this subject have ... (read in full...)
Is it worth it to force my wife to talk about a 2 year affair she had years ago? We never talked about it and she doesn't want to now
Q. Ladies....Do you think its worth trying to insist that my wife and i talk about a two year affair that she had MANY years ago, that at the time, we never really did talk about,other than me telling her to end it or else it was going to be the end ...
A. 6 February 2016: Is it worth it to bring this back up now?
Let me be completely straightforward with you: in my opinion, absolutely not. The right time to hash things out with your wife and address whatever questions you had would have been "many years" ago, aft... (read in full...)
Are her tantrums normal?
Q. My fiancée and I have been engaged for 8 months, and are waiting 4 more months until we make it official because her parents are paying for a huge wedding in Cancun with 200 guests (only 20 guests are mine). This big wedding has started to show ...
A. 2 January 2016: I think you said it best yourself when you stated that you're starting to see her true colors. You have been dating the best foot she put forward to impress you. Now that she thinks you're in the bag, so to speak, there's less pressure to keep that ... (read in full...)
What good excuse can I give my bf ?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 6 months. I am on vacation right now with my mom, because she just retired. My bf didnt want me to go on vacation, but I had to because my mom had purchased the airplane tickets and everything before I even me...
A. 26 December 2015: I'm sorry to hear that you are in this predicament, but I don't think excuses (read: further lies) are the answer at this point.
Is there a reason why you didn't/couldn't tell him about this before you started dating? The fact that he wanted t... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have deal breakers in relationships?
Q. My Boyfriend and I have been together for a year. Recently we talked about deal breakers. Both of us agreed cheating is a deal breaker. Then I told him if he ever took drugs at a party it'd be a deal breaker for me. I did not know he used to do ...
A. 10 November 2015: Nope, you are not wrong. Everyone has boundaries, and not everyone is OK with their partner hiding illegal habits from them. In fact, I would hazard a guess that most people who choose not to use drugs, male or female, would have reservations about ... (read in full...)
What would I be on the lease as, if I'm not legally responsible for the rent?
Q. Hello, I have an important question, my bf is renting an apartment where we can both live. He will move in before I do, because I'm going on vacation, so I will move after a month. They said they would add me to the lease when I would be moving ...
A. 9 November 2015: Unfortunately, the option you are looking for isn't an option. If your name is on the lease, you will be legally responsible for the rent should your boyfriend fail to pay it.
If you're not sure your boyfriend can be relied on to pay rent on ... (read in full...)
I don't like lying to my parents but they don't give me much independence
Q. Hi Agony Aunts, I am 17 in 3 months and I feel like my parents kind of treat me like a kid. Its like this : Whenever I want to go out, I would tell them where I'm going and tell them who I am with. BUT, they would never let me walk on my own to meet ...
A. 23 October 2015: It's not that your parents don't trust you, it's that you are 16 years old and not a grown woman yet. You are not done maturing physically and emotionally, and depending on your upbringing and the area in which you live, you may not have the life ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to date my step dad's godson?
Q. My mother married a man that she has known for years and he is now my step father.. My step father has a God son and I am attracted to this God son. We have known each other almost 8 months now.. I found out I was pregnant before knowing him ...
A. 22 October 2015: From a legal and genetic standpoint, you are not related and there is absolutely nothing to prohibit you from being with him.
Could it make for some awkward family get-togethers if you break up and still have to see him? Yes. But that's life.
... (read in full...)
I'm scared of this man's behavior!
Q. Actually I am in a trouble. Opposite to my PG one guy is staring. At the very first time he used to stare at me and one night he was coming along with his friends and i was talking on phone he called me by making some noise. I got scared and ran ...
A. 22 October 2015: So this man is a neighbor of yours?
The fact that he waits outside to stare at you or follow you is weird and no doubt alarming but unless it is also illegal in your country (i.e., considered stalking or harassment) your options here are probably... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's stomach is coming between us
Q. I met a guy of 40 on a dating site we have been dating 6 months. He is about to complete his divorce and has two children under 8. His wife left him two years ago and things are amicable. If I have a future will I be expected to share my house w...
A. 22 October 2015: I would add only that at six months into a relationship, you should still be feeling sparks and butterflies rather than doubt and disgust. The fact that you are not suggests a distinct lack of chemistry between you and your new partner. This is not ... (read in full...)
I'm second best to my boyfriend's dog!
Q. Hi my boyfriend and I have been together 3 years we have a 10 month old daughter he has a doberman which he had when we met he has just moved in a few months ago but we have just discovered our daughter has a allergy to the dog now my boyfriend is ...
A. 21 October 2015: Your boyfriend is prioritizing a dog above his own DAUGHTER? I almost can't believe this is a real question. I'm sorry to say, it does speak volumes about where his priorities are, and not in a good way. His "solution" leaves you to raise a ... (read in full...)
Am I being played? I've me a wonderful girl, but she's unhappily married.
Q. I met a wonderful girl at the end of june, and i have fallen so in love with her. and she said she feels the same way too. But she is married and unhappy. so now nearly 4 months in to this crazyness im feeling like im being played. we meet u...
A. 21 October 2015: Thanks for the follow-up, OP. If she has both you and her friends telling her to leave the marriage and she's still choosing to stay in it, I'm sorry to say it doesn't sound like she's as emotionally finished with her husband as she would like you ... (read in full...)
Am I being played? I've me a wonderful girl, but she's unhappily married.
Q. I met a wonderful girl at the end of june, and i have fallen so in love with her. and she said she feels the same way too. But she is married and unhappy. so now nearly 4 months in to this crazyness im feeling like im being played. we meet u...
A. 21 October 2015: Unfortunately, by staying "with" her even though she is currently married to someone else, you are making it easier for her to maintain a situation you don't like. She has the best of both worlds - the husband she's with in front of family and ... (read in full...)
Ex flashing new life in my face
Q. My ex and I were together for 7 years and broke up but remained friends, that was two years ago since the break up and we remained friends since. We lived together, no children, but two cats. The relationship broke up because I wanted to be fre...
A. 9 October 2015: I do think his silence is deliberate. Here's what I'm guessing happened.
You say you told your ex about his new partner behaving badly in public (not sure if this was while she was with him or before they were a couple, but it doesn't really m... (read in full...)
How do we handle gossipers? This is my first relationship since my marriage broken down.
Q. I've recently started my first relationship since my marriage broke up and it's with a guy who I began working with last year. At the time I met him, my marriage was strong and then we started to fight more and more until I couldn't stand being in...
A. 4 October 2015: If your marriage is truly beyond repair, then officially filing for - and getting - a divorce would be a huge step in the right direction. Unfortunately, your current situation (still legally married to one man while involved with another) gives ... (read in full...)
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