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*ike I see it agony aunt

*ike I see it

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I believe that everyone has the right to be treated with respect in his or her relationship, and advise accordingly. Life is too short to stay where you're not happy!

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Selfish in-laws and husband's a pushover with them. How can I speak to him about this?

Q.   Thank you fir reading in advance. Sorry I know it is long. Me and my partner have been together for 4 years and have 2 children together, the youngest of which is 6 weeks. My partners family have not seen our youngest yet as they all live in...

A.   18 February 2014: You are not at all to blame for wanting to avoid traveling with a 6-week-old baby when money is tight. Explain to your MIL that you'd love for her to see the baby but can't afford to make the trip this minute. If she has an interest in seeing her ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is acting sneaky with his laptop and phone!

Q.   I live with my boyfriend of 5 years and have always trusted him but have been noticing recently that he acts sneaky with his phone and laptop. If I come into the room he will swipe everything off his page so that I can't see he also always makes ...

A.   17 February 2014: Something is up. Don't go through his phone or anything, but I would definitely confront him about your suspicions the next time you see him smiling at a so-called "essay." Put him on the spot. Ask what it's about. Ask if you can read it when he'... (read in full...)

Was it wrong to accept an expensive gift from my male gay best friend? I think it's made my boyfriend jealous or uncomfortable.

Q.   My gay male best friend whom I have known for a year recently took me out for my birthday. He took me to a restaurant that neither my boyfriend and I can afford, and also gifted me a Burberry scarf ($400 value). I had already known which ...

A.   17 February 2014: Not wrong. In my opinion it would have been very rude to refuse a gift that was carefully chosen for you and given with no strings attached. Your boyfriend's reaction probably isn't jealousy per se but rather him feeling uncomfortable that he ... (read in full...)

He bugged me and bugged me for a nude picture and I never gave in, but I want what we had back! Advice, please!

Q.   Alright so this isn't really a question but more of a combination of a question and a rant. It might be really long but I really need help with this. Its kind of a long story so last year was my first year in highschool. my first seme...

A.   17 February 2014: Agreed with Honeypie - you do not need this guy in your life. Do not blame yourself for "ruining" anything by not sending him a picture of you naked - which would have been CHILD PORNOGRAPHY, by the way, as you are underage! One hundred p... (read in full...)

I'm attracted to a male friend who doesn't feel the same about me

Q.   Help!I have a male friend who I am attracted to more than he is attracted to me, he is flaky though and sometimes flirtatious then puts it back on friendship level. He makes no secret of his interests in other women and I make no secret of only bei...

A.   15 February 2014: I think you would be right to cut ties with this guy. From the sound of your post he likes the attention but has no real feelings for YOU. Keeping you in his life strokes his ego ("here's this girl I could get with in a minute if I wanted to") whi... (read in full...)

How to stop comparing myself to others and see some good in myself?

Q.   As far as Im concerned im a loser compared to other people, Im a gay female and other gay females completely reject me, I have no gay friends(have 2 aquaintances that are very busy) Im not going to go to an event alone and be stared at for being ...

A.   9 February 2014: Studies have been done that correlate increased Facebook use with increased unhappiness/dissatisfaction with one's own life. Trust me, it's not just you! It's very easy to look at what everyone else is doing on Facebook and feel like your own ... (read in full...)

How to stop comparing myself to others and see some good in myself?

Q.   As far as Im concerned im a loser compared to other people, Im a gay female and other gay females completely reject me, I have no gay friends(have 2 aquaintances that are very busy) Im not going to go to an event alone and be stared at for being ...

A.   9 February 2014: I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down about yourself... You make some really good points about things in your life that are positive (having your health and a job and so on) and this is a great attitude to cultivate and apply, as there are many... (read in full...)

She's pregnant and my parents aren't supportive

Q.   I'm a senior in high school and I found out a few days ago that my gf is pregnant ! I didn't except my parents to take the news well but I didn't except it to go as bad as it did either. My parents are strict and put a lot of focus on school a...

A.   5 February 2014: The decision to have an abortion belongs to your gf, NOT your parents. They may want her to have one, but it's not something they can force her to do. What they are asking of you (basically, to pressure her into getting one by saying you'll leave ... (read in full...)

He wants me to text dirty ...

Q.   my boyfriend wants me to send him dirty/horny texts and i don't know what to write.i need some ideas please help....

A.   2 February 2014: Forgot to mention - limit your "dirty texts" to words ONLY. No pictures, even if he asks for them! No one ever likes to think that the person they love could one day set out to hurt them by sharing images and videos that were supposed to be p... (read in full...)

Would it bother you if your partner was a nude model for Art Classes?

Q.   Hi Everyone, I'm 23 years-old, and I'll be graduating with my Masters degree in May. I've generally kept to the "straight and narrow," so to speak--I almost always follow the rules, I've only had sex with one person (an ex bf), I do don't drugs, ...

A.   2 February 2014: It would not bother me in the slightest unless I was a virgin seeking a fellow virgin... then it might be a bit of a gray area. But I would describe myself as quite open-minded, and I also go to nude beaches every now and again - basicall... (read in full...)

He wants me to text dirty ...

Q.   my boyfriend wants me to send him dirty/horny texts and i don't know what to write.i need some ideas please help....

A.   2 February 2014: Assuming you are sexually active together... What would you like to do to him the next time you see him? What would you like him to do to you? ("I can't wait to feel your hot ________ in my wet ________," etc.) Be graphic. You're not looking ... (read in full...)

This guy has put his career first for years and wants to find someone, will he take the risk?

Q.   Hi Eveyone, Been on numerous dates via online but last week I had a good first date with this guy. Not usually my type but quirky and attractive, he was open, lovely, clearly attracted to me. When it was time to say goodbye, I could see he wan...

A.   1 February 2014: He's obviously decided that having a career isn't all there is to life or he wouldn't be putting himself out there, going on dates and actively trying to find someone. Maybe that someone is you! If you felt a connection there's no reason not to a... (read in full...)

I love being girlfriend-like and am interested in more than one person, though I am in a relationship. Is this Normal?

Q.   I've dated a few guys seriously. Each relationship getting better and better. But it seems the past 2 breakups have been from my own issues (either I grew out of the relationship or we didn't feel like it was the right time for us, blah blah). My...

A.   1 February 2014: Your feelings may not be common, but in the great scheme of romantic and sexual preferences they aren't weird either. There are couples out there for whom open or polyamorous relationships not only "work" but are enjoyable for all involved. Here ... (read in full...)

How do you feel about social media? It seems to cause problems for me.

Q.   How do you guys feel about social media, especially Facebook? Do you think it's worth it to have one? Has it ever caused any problems for you? I'm asking this because it seems to cause a lot of insecurity within myself and other problems. I am n...

A.   31 January 2014: The next time I hear about someone's relationship actually benefiting from his or her social media use, it will be the first time! The thing with social media is that you can control only what YOU post. Your boyfriend may have no intentio... (read in full...)

Uncomfortable with ex putting naked photos of our son on Facebook. What should I do?

Q.   This is a question concerning my ex, and our child. Hi Aunts and Uncle's, thank you for reading this, I hope to find some help. My ex and I are on good terms..kind of. We have a two y/o son and he has a 2 y/o daughter. My issue is, I'm so...

A.   30 January 2014: Document any threats made to you and take that information to law enforcement to request a restraining order against the person(s) threatening you. Whether your ex gets justice served or not for his latest act of molestation will be up to the cour... (read in full...)

How do I cope with strong attraction to a co-worker who I have no intention of getting involved with?

Q.   Hi I need some advice on how to deal with a situation. Firstly I am 23 and do not intend to act on my feelings. So I have fallen for a guy I work with. He seems a lovely, genuine guy and I very much enjoy working with him. To paint a pictur...

A.   29 January 2014: Well, if the idea that he'd like to use you to be a liar and a cheat REALLY doesn't cut it in terms of making him undesirable to you... Imagine him with awful food poisoning every time you see him or think of him. The kind that has you vomiting... (read in full...)

I know I'm just being jealous and my friend is just having fun but I feel like I'm being cheated

Q.   Last night my friend and I went out on the town, I dressed up, put on a nice dress, did my makeup properly and for once made an effort. My friend came out in jeans and a t-shirt. She's put her boyfriend back in the dating zone (he still loves ...

A.   29 January 2014: Your issue with her seems to have two parts: 1) the way she treats men 2) the way she treats her friends, including you. Regarding her behavior toward the guys she dates: you may disapprove, you may feel jealous of the attention she receiv... (read in full...)

Uncomfortable with ex putting naked photos of our son on Facebook. What should I do?

Q.   This is a question concerning my ex, and our child. Hi Aunts and Uncle's, thank you for reading this, I hope to find some help. My ex and I are on good terms..kind of. We have a two y/o son and he has a 2 y/o daughter. My issue is, I'm so...

A.   29 January 2014: That adds a whole new dimension of 'dangerous and creepy' to this situation, but it also gives you another avenue to resolve the Facebook issue. Take a screen shot of his profile and of the photos he's posted of your son, and show them to his ... (read in full...)

Uncomfortable with ex putting naked photos of our son on Facebook. What should I do?

Q.   This is a question concerning my ex, and our child. Hi Aunts and Uncle's, thank you for reading this, I hope to find some help. My ex and I are on good terms..kind of. We have a two y/o son and he has a 2 y/o daughter. My issue is, I'm so...

A.   29 January 2014: If you've asked and he won't remove them, report them to Facebook as inappropriate. If there's a place to add a reason or comment about why you reported them, explain that you're not comfortable with nude photos of your son being posted online. The ... (read in full...)

How much value should I put on something my boyfriend said in his sleep?

Q.   My boyfriend was mumbling in his sleep the other night and he said: "no I don't want to get engaged!" Now I know I'm probably being silly but do you think that's how he actually feels? Wish fulfilment and all that. He has expressed that w...

A.   29 January 2014: He could have been dreaming about an ex... could have dreamed his parents were trying to arrange a marriage FOR him... you name it. Could have dreamed he proposed and you rejected him initially, only to change your mind later. We'll never know; ... (read in full...)

Is his contact with the girl from the AA meetings violating their open relationship rules?

Q.   Ok- I am posting for my best friend because it is an issue she is struggling with and came to me for help/to talk. I'm not sure exactly what to tell her. She is engaged and living with her fiance. They are in an open relationship and have been to...

A.   24 January 2014: Reading your post, it sounds like your friend wants her own (sexual) freedom but gets jealous when her partner exercises his. I don't think the AA part is the issue here; it sounds like your friend is jealous of her partner getting close to another ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my guy that I slept with a friend while we were broken up?

Q.   I'm in a messed up situation that I can't see out without losing my boyfriend who I have been with for three years. Basically, last September I had a miscarriage during my 9th week of pregnancy. We had only known for 2 weeks when I lost our baby...

A.   23 January 2014: I think the OP is saying she was with this guy for three years, found out she was 7 weeks pregnant by him last September, and only knew about the pregnancy for another two weeks before losing the baby to miscarriage in the 9th week? Anywa... (read in full...)

Is it too late for me?

Q.   Going through the site, I see people talking about sex, relationships like it's some kind of everyday thing. It's pretty difficult not to cry trying to write this out, how is it just happening for everyone else, but for me, I've never dated, had a ...

A.   20 January 2014: I'm sorry to hear you're feeling sad but it's definitely not "too late" for you to meet someone amazing. If you are not having much luck with the girls in your current social circle, perhaps it's time to mix things up a bit. Join a club or meetu... (read in full...)

Is his interest normal and does this make him more likely to cheat?

Q.   I'm not sure if this behaivour is normal or not? I am 45 and my partner is 55. we have been together for two and a half years. We are passionately in love but recently cancelled our wedding. The first thing my partner does every morning is do...

A.   20 January 2014: It's not normal and more importantly it seems part of a pattern of sexual thrill-seeking and infidelity that I do not think you or any woman will be able to break. I'm sure he didn't go straight to sex behind the backs of the other women he "mult... (read in full...)

I'm afraid my boyfriend with sleep with this woman when he goes to a party!

Q.   There is this girl that my boyfriend has slept with a couple of times. Once when he was with his on again/off again ex - they were off at the time. The second time he was broken up with a different ex (though they did get back together). It was a ...

A.   20 January 2014: Is there a reason you can't accompany him to the party? If you two have been a couple for some time, his friends shouldn't exclude you from their social events. If the party includes people of both genders (i.e. it's not a boys' get-together) then ... (read in full...)

I cant stand this man but I love him! Please help.

Q.   I and my husband were in a relationship since 2010 and got married in 2012. From the very beginning, I and my husband fought almost every week over petty issues. We were in a long distance relationship so thought things would be fine once we move in ...

A.   18 January 2014: You describe your marriage as "violent" but don't give specifics - if this includes ANY physical violence toward you, leave NOW. If the violence you describe takes the form of hurtful words but has not yet escalated to physical fighting or abuse... (read in full...)

Caught my Girlfriend answering ad on craigslist.

Q.   I know it was deceitful but I created a fake ad on craigslist to see if my girlfriend would answer and she did. I did this once before and she answered and this was the second time. I replied back and pretended to this other guy and she flirted and ...

A.   15 January 2014: No matter how insecure you may be, that STILL doesn't excuse her actions. This isn't her accidentally getting closer than she should to a male friend of hers. This isn't her getting drunk at a party and making a one-night mistake. This is her ACTI... (read in full...)

Caught my Girlfriend answering ad on craigslist.

Q.   I know it was deceitful but I created a fake ad on craigslist to see if my girlfriend would answer and she did. I did this once before and she answered and this was the second time. I replied back and pretended to this other guy and she flirted and ...

A.   15 January 2014: Agreed with the others... I don't think you have anything to confront her about as you already KNOW what she is up to. But I'd definitely cite that as the reason for your breakup when you dump her so she doesn't go on thinking she "got away" wi... (read in full...)

Should I not tag people on Facebook? What is the Facebook etiquette?

Q.   My fiancés daughter had their first child and we went to see her and the child. I am friends with her on facebook although we don't communicate with each other much. We took a bunch of pictures of course and the few pictures I put on facebook I ...

A.   15 January 2014: Has her mother remarried or met someone new? Was your fiance's marriage completely over (legally AND emotionally) before you met him? If no to any of the above, I think you're right... she may have untagged the photos to spare her mother from seeing ... (read in full...)

Ladies -- what terms do you use?

Q.   Curious question for the women: how many of you call your vagina a "pussy"? What do you think of the word "cunt"? I like the word pussy...I think it's sexy but the other word seems harsh and derogatory to me. Yet, I've heard that word used by ...

A.   14 January 2014: Pussy and tits. Describing things with perfect clinical/anatomical correctness is great and all, but doesn't really set the mood I'm looking for in the bedroom, which is about the only time I find myself DISCUSSING said pussy and tits with ano... (read in full...)

My boyfriend won't add me as a friend on facebook!

Q.   Hello. I am trying to find advice regarding facebook. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, we live together and I am pregnant. It took him a year to change his relationship status from single to in a relationship, and thats only ...

A.   12 January 2014: I agree, something is up. The only partner I've had who didn't want Facebook to know he had a GF was also "keeping his options open." Telling prospective dates you already have a girlfriend kind of cuts into the caliber of girls who are still ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend called me a 'beached whale'.

Q.   My fiance referred to me as a "beached whale" during sex (in the context of a conversation while not having sex). I'm usually on bottom for a few reasons. He can barely stay hard when I'm on top (not sure why), neither of us can really reach orgasm ...

A.   12 January 2014: It sounds like the comment was aimed more at how you're typically on the bottom than at your physical appearance specifically. It's possible that he feels you just lie there during sex, and wishes you would participate more actively. But either way ... (read in full...)

Did my poem scare him away?

Q.   I wrote a poem for a guy I really like. We have had some good conversations but since it was his birthday I decided to write a poem on how great a person he is. The problem is its been about a week and a half and he has yet to respond. The poem said ...

A.   11 January 2014: Your intentions were sweet and very thoughtful but yes, I do think you may have scared him off a bit. While teenagers can maybe get away with this sort of thing, I don't think writing a poem ABOUT the other person is something two adults in a ... (read in full...)

What's the answer? Buy a dildo? Think of images? Watch porn? How do I learn to turn myself on?

Q.   I am new to this site- I will ask this question anyway. I would like to know what is the best ways to turn yourself on (masterbate) and make it so good? so you watch porn or just picture dirty things ? Does anyone suggest buying dildos? I...

A.   10 January 2014: Personally I'm not a fan of dildos. Unless you are one of those lucky women who is able to achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration alone, you may find that a dildo (no matter the size) is not actually satisfying to you. Go with a vibrator - in ... (read in full...)

How can I get over such a devastatingly intense physical attraction?

Q.   First of all, I would like to begin with a disclaimer that I have absolutely zero intentions of attempting to get close to this man. But somehow, I simply cannot get him out of my mind. Here is the back story: I am studying a very specific tr...

A.   8 January 2014: I actually think there's a very simple way to look at this. You aren't working with him yet, and IF your schedule changes, you cross that bridge when you come to it - by acting appropriately. Your post reads like the intro to a paperback romanc... (read in full...)

How slow is too slow in dating? Her response led me to believe she wasn't interested

Q.   I met a woman on one of the online dating sites. Our first meet up was on a Monday for dinner. We hit it off pretty good and she said so herself. I asked her if she would like to go out a second time to which she replied "yes". With that I asked her ...

A.   8 January 2014: I'm not saying all women consider this, or all men expect it, but it seems like there's a lot of pressure on women to become intimate with their partner on or shortly after the "third date." Your date may have been worried that if you two went out... (read in full...)

Girls, what is your own preference with regard to your own pubic hair? Full bush, trimmed, landing strip or completely bald?

Q.   Dear Moderator, I went through the questions. Most are what about what the other sex likes but I can't find one where the women answered for themselves. I shave myself smooth because I like it that way myself (not because my man requested it). Jus...

A.   8 January 2014: I've actually never consulted a partner about what he prefers down there (just like I never ask them to groom themselves a certain way for me). Like you, I go bare because it's my own preference :)... (read in full...)

He is big and I am little!

Q.   I consider myself to be pretty fit; I work out 5 days a week in the mornings before work (sometimes gym, sometimes jogging), and many weekends I'm doing some other kind activity whether it's biking or hiking. I LOVE food, but try to limit myself ...

A.   4 January 2014: My dad is 6'5" and my mom is 5'3"... they've been married for almost 30 years and have three kids together. Size does not have to be a deal-breaker! If and when you two become intimate I think you will quickly discover what works and what doesn't.... (read in full...)

Why is it more acceptable for women to use sex toys than it is for men?

Q.   just a tought. why is it totally acceptable for girls the use of vibrators / stimulators and when it comes to males, the use of them makes you be seen as a perv, weirdo, looser... etc, etc... im in a ldr and we see each other every 3 months. My gf ...

A.   29 December 2013: I'm not sure you can generalize the answer given by your girlfriend and assume that all women feel the same way. Based off my own personal experiences and those of my friends who have shared details of their sex lives with me in the past, I do think ... (read in full...)

Found out my boyfriend was using me to cheat on his long-term partner and now my self-confidence is suffering!

Q.   this sounds really pathetic but about 2months i found out the guy who was my boyfriend was actually cheating on his long term girlfriend with me and since then i have lost a lot of confidence. i contastly bodycheck all my fat (im 5'7'' and 140lbs- ...

A.   29 December 2013: I'm sorry to hear that he turned out to be a liar and a cheat, but I don't think you should let the fact that you found one scumbag hurt your confidence like it has. For every idiot like him there are a dozen good guys who would never dream of ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's boss pulled me on his lap. Was he flirting with me?

Q.   So I was at my boyfriend's Christmas party recently and his boss, who is married, grabbed my hips and pulled me onto his lap while my boyfriend and I were standing beside the table he was sitting at (we were saying our goodbyes to everyone at the ...

A.   29 December 2013: Agreed w/SVC... it's not common and it's not appropriate. At all. What he did was almost certainly sexual in motivation but I would not call it flirting. He didn't try to sweet-talk you into coming to him; he GRABBED you. I'm guessing he was inte... (read in full...)

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