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... Send *ike I see it a private message | | | *ike I see it's profile:I believe that everyone has the right to be treated with respect in his or her relationship, and advise accordingly. Life is too short to stay where you're not happy!
***Please note: although I'm flattered by inbox requests for advice, the beauty of DearCupid lies in the wide variety of perspectives shared by the aunts on this site. If you have a relationship question, please post it to the main site so that more than one person can assist you with it :)
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Uncertain if he's interested
Q. I became interested in my friends best friend and I didn't talk to him much because he was always hanging around my friend. We were both getting pretty drunk and told my friend I was interested in him and I think he told him that and he started ...
A. 27 November 2016: Maybe he's not that interested. Or maybe he's a genuinely good guy who isn't into one-night stands, sex with "smashed" female partners, or both. I do think people, at least in my own country, are becoming more cognizant that sex with a truly ... (read in full...)
I just want things back to normal between us
Q. How do you make a situation less awkward? About 3 months ago I got with a colleague and in short, he was an idiot about things and very misleading. He's clearly in the wrong and has never apologised or addressed the situation, but that's besides ...
A. 27 November 2016: I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I gather from your post that he probably saw his time with you as an opportunistic hookup while you had harbored genuine feelings for him and were hoping something more serious would come out of it. The ... (read in full...)
Is it a bad idea to hook up with a single mother?
Q. Recently I broke up with my girlfriend and now I'm single. I know it's too early to hang out with other women but there is this girl she's 09/10 rating hot brunette, younger, she used to be my coworker but she got pregnant, got married and now she's ...
A. 27 November 2016: If she's a single mother she probably takes dating a lot more seriously than she did when you last tried to hook up with her, because now she has a child's safety and well-being to think about too.
If you expect to hook up with her on your fir... (read in full...)
How do I convince my girlfriend to indulge my ballbusting fetish?
Q. I've been dating a girl, that I love, for about six months. I also love ballbusting, and the problem is that she doesn't want to do it anymore. If you don't know what it is, just Google it. One session usually lasts about 30-60 minutes, dependi...
A. 27 November 2016: The short answer is you don't, not if she doesn't want to. I am happy to suggest ways that you two might work around this, but I'm not (and likely no one here is) going to suggest that your girlfriend be pressured into an activity against her wishes ... (read in full...)
Being an Indian how do you send subtle indications to a White guy that you are interested in him?
Q. How to make a white guy understand you are interested in him? Asking him out surely didn't help. We Indians are so culturally different from the west I wonder what would be the right way to send some cues for the guy that I want us to be more tha...
A. 26 November 2016: Am I reading correctly that you have asked him out already? If yes, and if he declined when you asked him (or failed to take you up on whatever you suggested doing) I'm afraid you have no choice but to respect his decision and move on. You have put ... (read in full...)
I've planned a very elaborate threesome with my bf and another girl, but could still do with some advice..
Q. Hi all. The live-in boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We are very solid, trust each other completely, with little to no jealousy whatsoever, and we have a great sex life. So after about 6 months of discussion, we've finally decided to ...
A. 25 November 2016: Full disclosure, I've never brought a third person into any of my relationships, although I did have an ex who really pushed for this. It's not something I'm personally interested in and frankly I can't think of a faster way to put trust issues into ... (read in full...)
Did she just want to sleep with me? Or could she really 'like' me?
Q. To cut a long story short, I had sex with my female housemate. I am not super attracted to her but yeah, it happened. I suspect she has been trying to seduce me for a while because she has asked to 'spoon' a couple of times after a night out. After ...
A. 20 November 2016: By "liked you" I mean "found you attractive."... (read in full...)
Did she just want to sleep with me? Or could she really 'like' me?
Q. To cut a long story short, I had sex with my female housemate. I am not super attracted to her but yeah, it happened. I suspect she has been trying to seduce me for a while because she has asked to 'spoon' a couple of times after a night out. After ...
A. 20 November 2016: It sounds like she's had feelings for you for a while now, but you hadn't really showed any interest in her previously. If I had to guess, sex was her way of trying to get your attention. And she probably thinks she was successful, hence the ... (read in full...)
I'm losing my mind over my finances! This is worse than rock bottom. What do I do?
Q. I know this isn't exactly a relationship question but this is killing me. I'm in debt after helping out financially. I haven't been able to pay credit cards, haven't been able to find a second job and now, I'm in danger of losing my car. My ...
A. 19 November 2016: One more thing I forgot to mention. Starting Jan. 1 you are able to file your tax returns for tax year 2016 if you have your W-2. Consider doing this (or paying a tax preparer to do it, if you don't feel comfortable filing them yourself) as soon as ... (read in full...)
I'm losing my mind over my finances! This is worse than rock bottom. What do I do?
Q. I know this isn't exactly a relationship question but this is killing me. I'm in debt after helping out financially. I haven't been able to pay credit cards, haven't been able to find a second job and now, I'm in danger of losing my car. My ...
A. 19 November 2016: You have gotten some great advice already. I would add that if you can move back in with family to save on rent, that is one way to trim a large expense from your budget. Your mom needs the car too, so it's in her best interests that you are able to ... (read in full...)
Which should choose to attend? Tribute band or the comedy? Both on the same night.
Q. Can anyone advise me on which show to go to tomorrow?. There are two great shows on tomorrow night in the same city. One is a comedy show. The other is a tribute band to a band that I like. I have seen both of them before. I will be going wit...
A. 19 November 2016: It's very thoughtful of you to give such consideration to what your friend might like. I'm in agreement with all those who said comedy show. Standing up all evening for a show can be exhausting, no matter how good it is. I went to dozens of standing ... (read in full...)
My husband is chatting to girls on xbox and facebook. I've asked him not to but he keeps adding girls!
Q. Hi there My husband and I have been married just over a year now. He has been on the xbox chatting to girls I told him I didn't mind him chatting to them on the xbox as long as it stays to the xbox, I don't feel that it's appropriate for ...
A. 19 November 2016: Talking to them is in poor taste - doubly so because you've already asked him not to - but it's the lying about it that would truly concern me. You have set a boundary in your marriage (Xbox chat is OK, but not Facebook friendship and messaging) ... (read in full...)
Is it disrespectful of me to enjoy my wife wearing something revealing?
Q. my wife and i have been together for 16 years,we have always enjoyed doing things together. She is my best friend,my wife has always been out going something i enjoyed but had to get better at myself and with her help i did. Once in a while my wif...
A. 19 November 2016: I think you answered part of your own question (why does this turn you on?) in describing it as a form of foreplay. It sounds like a way for you both to feel just a tiny bit naughty in public - she for wearing revealing tops, and you for looking - ... (read in full...)
My friend thought I was in pornographic pictures.
Q. MOD NOTE: I believe the asker has a male friend who is close like a brother. They are both married. Her friend ignored her for two weeks, and when she insisted he say why he sent by text pornographic images which he believes to be her. He is ...
A. 13 November 2016: There are a couple ways your question can be interpreted so I'll address all three of them.
Are you in the pictures he found? If he thinks these are pornographic photos of you and they are not, simply tell him it's someone else and ask him to k... (read in full...)
I am worried about my family's reaction when they see my test results.
Q. Hi there... So a little about me.. I recently moved to a different school and in a different country and Im turning 18 very soon.. So recently, I flew home to visit my parents even though I had tests coming up. And my holiday was just a week, the...
A. 13 November 2016: What's done is done, so all you can do is explain, calmly, what happened - that you had four tests to study for at one time, and it didn't go as well as you had hoped. If you are able to get higher scores on the next round of testing, that will show ... (read in full...)
Why does he never offer to pay for the hotel?
Q. I travel quite a lot and 3-4 times a year I fly through one country where I met a guy who I really like. Sometimes it's a lay over, sometimes it's a couple days stay. We always meet and it's usually just amazing. Sex is amazing and I really enj...
A. 13 November 2016: "Free sex" because men often can't get what you're offering this guy (true no-strings hookups, at his convenience, in a place where he doesn't have to host the encounter) without paying for the privilege.... (read in full...)
What does it mean if your bf stays up all night trying to convince you he isn't cheating?
Q. What does it mean when your boyfriend stays up with you all night after you accuse him of cheating on you, trying to convince you he ISN'T? Does it mean he really isn't cheating? Or does it mean he is doing his best to throw you off track because ...
A. 13 November 2016: I think the answer to your question would depend primarily on what evidence you have that he's cheating in the first place.
For example, if a girl from work texts him to say hi, you see the text somehow and he stays up all night trying to expla... (read in full...)
Why does he never offer to pay for the hotel?
Q. I travel quite a lot and 3-4 times a year I fly through one country where I met a guy who I really like. Sometimes it's a lay over, sometimes it's a couple days stay. We always meet and it's usually just amazing. Sex is amazing and I really enj...
A. 11 November 2016: I think YouWish hit the nail on the head. If you're only seeing this guy a few days a year, you're almost certainly not the only woman he sees. Right now he's getting a cheater's dream scenario - free, no-strings sex, without the paper trail of ... (read in full...)
What does my professors behavior mean?
Q. Ok, so I'm a senior in college and I've taken around 5 classes with this same professor who we will call, Jim. Jim has been concerning my friends with his behavior towards me the last few years. I've apparently been in denial, but they are so ...
A. 6 November 2016: In all honesty, his direct interactions with you sound awkward but fairly harmless when taken alone. Remembering things about you or complimenting your hair is weird and distracting but probably not a violation of school policy because it's not ... (read in full...)
Is this normal? Should I avoid any contact sexually with men if I'm not gay or bi?
Q. I'm a heterosexual male and is not sexualy attracted to men. However I do get turned on when I see a male erection. I fantasise on occasions about performing felatio and mutual masturbation with guys. I have also participated in mutual masturbation ...
A. 4 November 2016: The "hard-on" is part of the guy; in fact it's really the only thing anatomically that makes him a man. There are people of both genders with androgynous builds and features (flat chests, slim hips, etc) and everyone has nipples and an anus. So if ... (read in full...)
How to safely store nudes on a computer and iPhone?
Q. Hey there! Thank you in advance: How to safely store nudes? My boyfriend and I are long distance and have been together for a year and a half. We meet fairly regularly and very rarely send underwear pictures because we're both insecure/self...
A. 30 October 2016: This is kind of long, but worth a read:
https://www.cybercompare.net/story/how-to-keep-your-naked-selfies-safe/
Definitely make sure you don't upload it anywhere (cloud, etc) or email it to yourself to get it from your computer to your phone (o... (read in full...)
Future mother in law seems to have won and talked my fiance into putting off our wedding. I'm pregnant and not happy!
Q. I posted just over a week ago about bringing my wedding forward as I've not long found out I'm pregnant and didn't want to be a due date bride! But was having issues with my mother in law saying she couldn't get the time off work and generally ...
A. 30 October 2016: I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with this and even sorrier to say that it appears you are in the process of finally being shown where your boyfriend's loyalties truly lie.
If you have been together 6 years and are expecting a child, now is not t... (read in full...)
Can't shake feeling that ex will come back
Q. My ex and I had a LDR for 1 month shy of 2 years. During the relationship there were many fights, and we'd often break up and reconcile constantly - sometimes multiple times a month. I'm very aware that a bulk of our problems came from me lying to ...
A. 30 October 2016: Unfortunately, you can love someone wholeheartedly and that still doesn't necessarily make them a good fit for you. It sounds like you and your ex loved each other a lot, but also brought out a lot of the worst in each other. Lying, fighting and ... (read in full...)
Is it a red flag if a guy online refuses to give out his contact information before meeting in person?
Q. Is it a red flag if a guy online refuses to give out his contact information before meeting in person? I found this one guy online who seems to be exactly my type. We exchanged a few messages (he started the conversation) and then he asked me out ...
A. 30 October 2016: By itself I wouldn't think much of it - it's entirely possible he has had a bad experience in the past with someone he met online refusing to leave him alone even though they turned out not to be compatible.
The disappearing act is weird, though, ... (read in full...)
How do I become dominant for this guy?
Q. I am mid twenties and I have always shied away from topping due to problems with premature ejaculation. I have also never really felt truly comfortable with sex because I used to be very overweight and have never felt sexy. So mostly I bottom and ...
A. 30 October 2016: If you're having trouble coming up with dirty talk, start reading erotica. Seriously. You can even find it online. When you read something that's hot (to you), make a mental note of it and use it later when the time is right. Sex isn't a term paper, ... (read in full...)
How should I deal with my wife's kinky up and down thoughts? ?
Q. Hello everyone, Thanks for taking the time to read this and offer advice if able. My question is how do I deal with my wife's constant changing thoughts on sex and her naughty behavior. For some backstory, we're both mid 30's, been mar...
A. 28 October 2016: Thanks for the follow-up, OP; it clears up a great deal.
Yes, she could be ashamed, but it seems less likely given your completely supportive and encouraging response to what others in different marriages would likely consider infidelity. If anyon... (read in full...)
First time sex wasn't good for my g/f and I want to help next time be better
Q. My gf and I attempted sex for the first time… and it was a little rockier a process than we had initially anticipated! When i tried to go in, it wouldn’t go in past the tip. In addition my gf was not getting to feel it that much. I felt really ...
A. 28 October 2016: So it was the first time for both of you? In that case, relax. My first time was also with a fellow virgin. It hurt for me, and he lasted maybe a minute. We weren't bad at sex, or doomed somehow to a lifetime of bad sex, just NEW to sex. There is a ... (read in full...)
Trust ring--what should I have engraved on it?
Q. I lied to my boyfriend, and I made many mistakes. I'm getting him a promise ring and I want it to make up for all of that, to show him he can trust me and I won't ever make the same mistakes again. What should be engraved on the ring? ...
A. 28 October 2016: Did your boyfriend ask you for the ring as a sign of your intention to be honest with him going forward, or is it something you have taken it upon yourself to surprise him with? I ask because I don't know too many 13-15 year old boys who wear rings ... (read in full...)
How should I deal with my wife's kinky up and down thoughts? ?
Q. Hello everyone, Thanks for taking the time to read this and offer advice if able. My question is how do I deal with my wife's constant changing thoughts on sex and her naughty behavior. For some backstory, we're both mid 30's, been mar...
A. 27 October 2016: Relax, male anon. If the friend was receiving a BJ against his will, that would also be sexual assault (by OP's wife) whether OP's wife was drunk or sober.
That said, the original post wasn't about OP talking to the male friend and hearing ... (read in full...)
How should I deal with my wife's kinky up and down thoughts? ?
Q. Hello everyone, Thanks for taking the time to read this and offer advice if able. My question is how do I deal with my wife's constant changing thoughts on sex and her naughty behavior. For some backstory, we're both mid 30's, been mar...
A. 26 October 2016: I think it's important to realize that the fantasies you are wanting your wife to live out with you (hotwife/cuckold) are right up there with hardcore BDSM on the list of "things that aren't for everyone." Unless you met your wife on a fetish site ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend made hurtful comment about my weight, sex isn't good.How do I tell him?
Q. I need a bit of guidance. I want to start by saying I'm absolutely in love with my boyfriend of almost three years. He's also been my best friend long before we ever dated. It's like a fairytale right? Not exactly. Our sex life is horrible. It...
A. 26 October 2016: First off, I am very sorry to hear you are hurting. Although your boyfriend is evidently feeling affected by your weight gain, there are definitely more tactful ways to bring that up than the one he chose. Bringing it into an argument is a low blow ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my partner spending time with his ex wife?
Q. I would like some advice on how to deal with a certain situation. My partner and I have been together for nearly 18 months, we are both in our 50s and divorced. He has two daughters in their late 20s, and I have no children. We live about 35 mi...
A. 23 October 2016: If they're still sharing a home for purely legal or convenience reasons, I can see how your partner would have a hard time doing anything other than including his ex in family events. What's he going to say to her - "I know it's our daughter's ... (read in full...)
Amazing connection vs. mind blowing sex
Q. So, does one choose an amazing emotional connection with good sex and potential for a long term relationship? Or does one choose the best sex he's ever had in his entire life with no emotional connection? But absolutely mind blowing sex! I've foun...
A. 22 October 2016: If you know you don't want a future with your FWB, great sex is a silly reason to pass up someone who is overall a better fit for you. Great sex can clearly be learned, or we'd all be forever doomed to the kind of awkward, fumbling lovemaking ... (read in full...)
These are the facts. Is it the end?
Q. HELP! My decision to end a relationship depends largely on your advice. What would you do if you found out your boyfriend went to a medical appointment in the city and then visited a hotel before going home? And he did not tell you he was a...
A. 22 October 2016: You "don't see him as a player" but you have posted literally dozens of questions here asking if this or that proves YOUR suspicion that he is seeing women other than you?
Forgive me, OP, but it honestly seems like you're trolling us at this poi... (read in full...)
My friend found my girlfriend on a dating site
Q. I have been in an 18 month relationship with an extremely insecure girl who has been controlling, needy, and jealous of my past. I have often been aggressively accused of things that just dont exist. In spite of this difficulty, I have rode the ...
A. 22 October 2016: I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. Unfortunately, one of the classic signs of a cheater is that they constantly question YOUR fidelity, whether as a smoke screen to distract you from their own transgressions or because their own ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hooked up with my cousin years ago
Q. My girlfriend and I've been dating for a few months, I'm bothered that I have sex with the same girl my cousin had. I know everyone has a past but he's my family member, it's weird! She told me she had sex with him years ago in college. My cous...
A. 22 October 2016: There is a saying that life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it.
The past has happened; it is over and beyond anyone's power to alter. Your girlfriend can't change it and neither can your cousin, although it sound... (read in full...)
These are the facts. Is it the end?
Q. HELP! My decision to end a relationship depends largely on your advice. What would you do if you found out your boyfriend went to a medical appointment in the city and then visited a hotel before going home? And he did not tell you he was a...
A. 21 October 2016: Tough love here, OP. Yes, it sounds like you have finally caught him. But honestly, I don't think you have a "relationship" to terminate. You may want to believe that there is more to your liaisons with this man than just sex, but your posts tell a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said I was violent today while having sex. I hope that's good?
Q. My boyfriend said I was "violent" while having sex with him today. I was just really into it. And he likes when I am aggressive and take charge. This is a good thing?...
A. 5 October 2016: Agreed. We can't know what he meant by it, so he is the person you should be asking for clarification here.
For what it's worth, it's not a way I would choose to compliment someone. And it is not something I'd want to hear from my own partner ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is in debt due to paying some of her adult son's expenses. Should I help her financially? She hasn't asked me to
Q. My gf works in a low paid job.I also work, and earn more than her, but not a fortune.Which is why I pay for all our holidays, going out to restaurants, and most of her new clothes (which she spends quite a lot on). On the other side, I live in her ...
A. 3 October 2016: OK, here is my take on the situation.
I assume you have suggested to her that her son could get a part-time job to help cover his own expenses, but if not, have that conversation. Hopefully she agrees with you - I would imagine she might, because ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for your BF to have a tryst in an hour?
Q. Likely or unlikely? Possible or not possible? Your boyfriend goes to the Home Depot and is gone for exactly one hour. Is it possible for him to leave his car in the Home Depot parking lot, have another woman pick him up, take him somewhere ...
A. 2 October 2016: OP, you have posted about this same man many times before. Your posts are a heartbreaking portrait of someone slowly driving herself insane, each time going to greater and more elaborate lengths to try and trap her partner in a lie or find a tiny ... (read in full...)
My partner is afraid of my penis size... and her sister is a little too interested!
Q. I'm married over 3 years, love marriage, never did intercourse with my partner until married, knew her 6 years before marriage, we both want more of it but I have a 11.5inch n 5 inch fat, she is scared every time, I am ashamed of it, I haven't taken ...
A. 2 October 2016: I think perhaps there are some cultural differences between how this situation has played out for you in India and how it might have gone in a Western country where couples often have intercourse prior to marriage and don't have any surprises ... (read in full...)
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