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... Send *ike I see it a private message | | | *ike I see it's profile:I believe that everyone has the right to be treated with respect in his or her relationship, and advise accordingly. Life is too short to stay where you're not happy!
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My partner is afraid of my penis size... and her sister is a little too interested!
Q. I'm married over 3 years, love marriage, never did intercourse with my partner until married, knew her 6 years before marriage, we both want more of it but I have a 11.5inch n 5 inch fat, she is scared every time, I am ashamed of it, I haven't taken ...
A. 2 October 2016: I think perhaps there are some cultural differences between how this situation has played out for you in India and how it might have gone in a Western country where couples often have intercourse prior to marriage and don't have any surprises ... (read in full...)
How can I establish a good relationship with my sister in law if she wants nothing to do with me?
Q. I've been married to my husband for two years. We're not a perfect couple, nobody is, but in general we are very happy. On certain issues we are not the most compatible, but again, we are happy and we make it work. He is a middle child. He has an...
A. 2 October 2016: I'm sorry you're dealing with this, and can definitely sympathize as my fiancé's SIL is basically a spoiled rude nightmare toward both of us.
In my case it was pretty easy to write off the prospect of having a good relationship with her early on... (read in full...)
I lost the ring my wife purchased for me. She'll be very cross. What should I do?
Q. My wife left for Paris last week, and instead of going to work, coming home to a lovely empty apartment and playing video games like I been doing, my brother convinced me to hang out with him for the night. When I got there all the boys were the...
A. 1 October 2016: Have you recently lost weight or something? It seems quite odd that a metal ring sized to fit you would forcibly come off your finger in the course of a fight without you feeling it. There is an entire industry around marketing silicone wedding ... (read in full...)
Do you think I my married lover is tiring of me? In the beginning we talked. Now he only sends a text
Q. I've been friends with this married man for 8 months now, who doesn't have sex with his wife I guess. He is 38 and I am 22. He was my first lover. He took me to his house 3 times and we never had actual sex because I said I want to remain a virgin. ...
A. 30 September 2016: First off, the story he's trying to sell you about not having sex with his wife is most likely a lie on his part. They may not have as much sex as he'd like (which is probably where you come in) but I guarantee if she initiates he isn't turning her ... (read in full...)
I've been catfishing my ex for 8 months to discover out what kind of father he would be to the child he doesn't know he has with me
Q. I have been catfishing my ex for the last 8 months. I originally did it for information because after he moved away, I discovered i was pregnant. I couldn't reach him for 2 years and when I came across him I was scared so I made up a Facebook ...
A. 25 September 2016: I think the best thing you can do in this situation would be to come clean with him at your earliest opportunity to do so. He has no future with "Isabella" because she doesn't exist and you have no future with a man who is hung up on (imaginary) ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't like me wearing makeup and criticizes me
Q. My husband hates the fact that I wear makeup. When we first met I was into more of a "barefaced" look (meaning I only wore mascara). Once I started working again(after taking care of babies for a few years), I went back to my glam-girl ways and ...
A. 25 September 2016: I'm very sorry to hear you are dealing with this. It does sound like your husband is insecure (maybe he's let himself go a little since you married?) and that constantly criticizing your look is his attempt to shut down what he seems to think is an ... (read in full...)
May boyfriend just doesn't seem to be what I need. Do I leave him?
Q. My brother got into a serious accident yesterday, I ran out of work to see him. It was my old car I had left for my mom to go to work. The car was demolished. I was counting on that car for income and now I'm in such financial trouble I can't sleep. ...
A. 24 September 2016: It sounds like your boyfriend is either callous, clueless or both. Or maybe he doesn't have a very close relationship with his own family and isn't able to successfully imagine himself in your shoes, but either way, it sounds like he's not the best ... (read in full...)
I'm now feeling guilty about a one night stand. How do I get over the guilt?
Q. Hi all, I am about to turn 35 in a couple of weeks and 2 weeks ago I had my first one night stand. Before this I had not had sex for 3.5 years- mainly as I was busy and really focused on work but also because I needed a break from men after a string...
A. 24 September 2016: I think you are being way too hard on yourself. It's NOT your fault, either - generally speaking, women are conditioned that sex is this precious thing that somehow devalues us every time we have it unless we're married or at least in a long-term ... (read in full...)
Fiance lied about her age
Q. I've been with my fiance for 2.5 years and we are legally getting married in 2 weeks. When filling out the paperwork i noticed she kept writing the wrong age. It was only a year difference but later that day she told me she us actually a year older ...
A. 24 September 2016: If this is a common practice in her home country, it really sounds like more of a cultural difference than anything. If her parents changed her birth certificate to reflect the slightly younger age, then I assume she's gone her whole life telling ... (read in full...)
Do you think she sees a future with us at some point? How can I get things moving forward?
Q. Hi there. I have a problem with a girl that I have lost all my hang ups on and I have admitted to myself that I love her. I am a male in my mid 20's. Near the turn of the year I met a lovely girl and things developed quite fast. The girl had a c...
A. 23 September 2016: I'm sorry, but I agree with the others - I think you've missed your chance with her. As a single mother she is already painfully aware that not every guy is 'forever' material, and there's absolutely no reason for her to bet her heart on someone who ... (read in full...)
Why would my Bf's penis go limp after foreplay? Does it suggest that he's cheated on me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He is 63. I am 45. He is not married. Neither am I. Just to clarify. We are good friends. Our sexual relationship has always been quite wonderful too. And for a man in his 60's, my boy...
A. 23 September 2016: He has given you a rational and plausible explanation which you clearly have chosen not to trust. Why is that, OP?
If this is the only evidence you have that he may be cheating, well, it's not very good evidence. Unless you are prone to jumping ... (read in full...)
What's her problem with me?
Q. This woman that has lived in the same village as my partner for years. My partner fixes her car. At first he wanted us to become friends together because I am new to the village and he wanted me to make friends here. However, she seems to come ...
A. 20 September 2016: Yep.
As Tim's long term partner, you two are now a team. That doesn't mean you can decide Tim's friendships, but it does give you grounds to ask that his friends treat you with respect when you are expected to spend time in their company. I would ... (read in full...)
Would the average guy spend 1.5 hours in a store or was he lying?
Q. Is it possible for a guy - your boyfriend - to be in a store for 1.5 hours??? The same store??? He was out for awhile and I asked him about it and he said he was at an auto parts store for that long. He said he was browsing. That there were lots ...
A. 20 September 2016: Is there any particular reason you didn't trust the story originally? Prior trust issues in the relationship?
If he has a receipt he was obviously there at least briefly in the time frame he specified. That no one would be able to identify... (read in full...)
Would the average guy spend 1.5 hours in a store or was he lying?
Q. Is it possible for a guy - your boyfriend - to be in a store for 1.5 hours??? The same store??? He was out for awhile and I asked him about it and he said he was at an auto parts store for that long. He said he was browsing. That there were lots ...
A. 20 September 2016: What makes another woman the first thing you suspect for his extended absence?
More context would be helpful, please.... (read in full...)
What's her problem with me?
Q. This woman that has lived in the same village as my partner for years. My partner fixes her car. At first he wanted us to become friends together because I am new to the village and he wanted me to make friends here. However, she seems to come ...
A. 19 September 2016: She sounds like an all-around unpleasant person. Kicking out her partner because she dislikes his child? Really? That in itself speaks volumes about her regard for other people's feelings. Whether she's rude to you and others intentionally or just ... (read in full...)
How can I find a way to trust my boyfriend? Because I feel I can't trust him
Q. PLEASE HELP ME. I am at the END of my rope. I have been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and I just CANNOT trust him no matter what. No matter what he says or does. I CANNOT trust him. I CANNOT DO IT. It is making me paranoid, jealous, ins...
A. 19 September 2016: OP, why "sabotage" what's already a disaster of a relationship when you can take back your personal power and self-worth and just leave? Be the one who says, "I want better than this. I can do better."
Is there a reason this guy has to be the one ... (read in full...)
How can I find a way to trust my boyfriend? Because I feel I can't trust him
Q. PLEASE HELP ME. I am at the END of my rope. I have been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and I just CANNOT trust him no matter what. No matter what he says or does. I CANNOT trust him. I CANNOT DO IT. It is making me paranoid, jealous, ins...
A. 16 September 2016: It's not possible to be sure that someone will never cheat on you. All you can do is take what you know about that person, and what you learn as time goes on, and make an educated guess as to whether or not that person is worth placing your trust ... (read in full...)
His comments to his friend about this girl make me extremely uncomfortable!
Q. Hi! My boyfriend lent me his cell phone and I found a conversation between him and his friend talking about a girl in his class, in the text he said he had a hot classmate and that he spent all class looking at her, he said he loved her face and ...
A. 15 September 2016: How do you take it?
Well... at best it is extremely disrespectful, your boyfriend minimizing your committed relationship with him in order to present himself to his buddy as a ladies' man.
At worst, if he's being truthful, it's proof of hi... (read in full...)
I've lost weight and now down to UK size 12. How do I get out of thinking bad about myself when subjected to Fat Shaming?
Q. Im writing this because I'm so tired of being body shamed all of the time. Growing up I was a size 8, but then I left school, started a new career, had a baby and the weight creeped on. At my heaviest I went up to 15 stone size 16 which is very...
A. 9 September 2016: I am almost exactly your current size (5'8, 150 lbs - none of it breasts btw, I'm an AA cup) and have been for most of my adult life. I spent a lot of my early twenties trying to drop the weight I gained after high school, when I was running ... (read in full...)
Feeling robbed, hoodwinked and conned. my wife clearly doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. what are my options?
Q. Hi, I suspect this might be an old chestnut but its new to me so please bear with me. In a sentence...my wife clearly doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. On the rare occasions we do, it feels like she is being contrived, dutiful and fra...
A. 8 September 2016: OP, I understand you are frustrated. The big issue that I'm still not hearing mention of is whether she has at any point spoken to a doctor or OB-GYN about the issue. It seems she had a working libido when (and probably before) you married. There ... (read in full...)
Feeling robbed, hoodwinked and conned. my wife clearly doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. what are my options?
Q. Hi, I suspect this might be an old chestnut but its new to me so please bear with me. In a sentence...my wife clearly doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. On the rare occasions we do, it feels like she is being contrived, dutiful and fra...
A. 8 September 2016: More information would be very helpful. How long have you two been together? How long have you been married? How long has the frequency of sex been an issue? You acknowledge your wife is stressed out due to work. Is this a new situation or... (read in full...)
What can I do? She can't bring herself to believe me, nor let it go.
Q. The relationship between me and my girlfriend of a little over a year has been pretty rough lately. We recently took a break that was originally supposed to be a month. It ended up only being a week. Anyway, during the break I bought some condoms,...
A. 7 September 2016: Honestly, I can see both sides of this one.
You two were on a break, so I assume you were not together as a couple during that time. Unless you two discussed the terms beforehand and it was mutually understood that fidelity was expected on both ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my husband go down on me?
Q. Hello everyone! Thank you for your time reading this. I have a simple, yet extremely embarrassing question. I'm a "happily" married woman with two girls and 4 months pregnant. We live a moderate life,go to church and spend time with ou...
A. 6 September 2016: Maybe he figures that since you don't go down on him while pregnant, him trying to do the same for you while you are pregnant would certainly lead to rejection... especially since it's not something you've ever liked or allowed from him before?
... (read in full...)
My partner has become evasive. I gave him his marching orders but he wanted to stay. It was too late?
Q. Recently my partner has been going to a new church but he is evasive about where this church is or what it is called. Previously we used to go to church together. Yesterday he went to a church party which was apparently for one hour in the afte...
A. 4 September 2016: Frankly, it all sounds quite fishy. This secret "church" he's going to might not even BE a church, it might just be his cover story for something else he doesn't want you to know about.
It's very odd that you two had previously attended church t... (read in full...)
Why would he do this? I've been faithful while he's been cheating. What do I need to do?
Q. This is not my first time on this site. Finally I made the decision to end a long term relationship that was awful. I had discovered my ex had been having online sexual chats with his ex, I left. After many ''I'm sorry's and she means nothing, I...
A. 3 September 2016: You are NOT crazy. Yes, this absolutely counts as cheating. Do not give him the time of day when he tries to claim otherwise. He is hoping that you are weak enough to accept this kind of treatment if he talks you into it the right way. Of course ... (read in full...)
What can I do? My friend has chosen his girlfriend over me and I miss him
Q. So I have been really close friends with a guy since primary school, and even though I don't get to see him very much because I am away at uni, we always kept in contact over text, Facebook etc. Although now he is refusing to speak to me ! And I...
A. 3 September 2016: Sadly, I'm afraid there's not much you can do. A friendship takes agreement from both parties to be friends. If he can't or won't continue the friendship, it's over, at least for the time being.
If it's any consolation, it doesn't sound like you... (read in full...)
Attracted to an older guy, how do I encourage him to be interested in me?
Q. Hello. I need help with this guy.. So im attracted to an older guy. Im 21 and he is 35. We ironically have the same birthday so we are exactly 14 years apart. Since ive met him, ive always felt like there was an attraction between us.. ...
A. 3 September 2016: Age itself is only a number. The problem is that people often want (and seek out) different things at different ages and stages in their lives and if two people are not either at similar stages or VERY skilled at compromise, age gap relationships ... (read in full...)
I can't work out his sexuality
Q. Hello. I am curious or rather confused about my friend's sexuality. I don't know whether he is gay or bisexual. When he is around me, he acts very masculine and straight. I catch him staring at women when we hang out. I am 25, he is 32 and married ...
A. 2 September 2016: You know that your friend is married to a man, and he has chosen not to explain his personal preferences any further than that. I agree with the others - respectfully, it's none of your business unless he chooses to discuss it with you. And you are ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex without a condom but I'm not taking birth control pills. Will emergency contraceptive pills after sex work just as well to prevent pregnancy?
Q. This is a contraceptive related question. I wanna have sex without a condom, i'm also ovulating and i'm currently not on the pills. If i use plan B pills after sex can it be equally effective ? Or will there be a chance of unwanted pregnancy....
A. 28 August 2016: You're mature enough to be asking about unprotected sex, so I'll assume you're mature enough to listen with an open mind to why that is generally a really, REALLY bad idea. Unless you and your sexual partner have BOTH been tested recently for STIs ... (read in full...)
How do I stop going into a panic while waiting for medical test results?
Q. Need help! I am terrified of tests and physicals. It took all I had to go in recently to my doctor because of prolonged menstrual bleeding. My doctor ordered ultrasounds and other tests. I went through them but panicked and cried the whole time...
A. 22 August 2016: Sorry to hear that this has you so stressed out. It might help to focus on the good news from your last doctor's appointment. All the results of your last physical were benign, with the exception of the yeast infection - which is a very common ... (read in full...)
I may become dependent on my soon-to-be husband and it makes me feel lesser than him, how do I cope?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship that is about to finally close within the next year. My boyfriend is well educated and well off. I'm still in school, and in a different country. We're planning on getting married. However, my education d...
A. 13 August 2016: I'm in a somewhat similar situation, and I'd have (and will have) difficulty with that too. Distance isn't an issue in my relationship, but time is. I make a good salary but work very long and odd hours to get it and the time commitment is a huge ... (read in full...)
How should I tell my boyfriend about this kiss with a girl while I was drunk?? I feel so guilty
Q. Hi, I am seeing someone for the past year(my boyfriend)but yesterday I stupidly got drunk and kissed a girl nothing more than a kiss and she was cool about it said it's not a big deal and it was obvious that we are both straight cuz I felt nothing ...
A. 23 July 2016: You made a mistake - a relatively innocent one as far as drunken mistakes are concerned, since there was no touching or sex involved. Kudos to you for owning your actions and wanting to come clean.
Obviously I don't know your boyfriend or the type... (read in full...)
Should I bale from this new relationship?
Q. Hi, I am in a new relationship and my boyfriend has suddenly changed. He is not the sweet, caring guy that I got to know. He's become very withdrawn and hardly speaks to me via call or text, even in person! Though he is always on his phone when I...
A. 23 July 2016: I agree with the other aunts - the person you thought you were getting into a relationship with was all an act. What you see now is the kind of person this guy really is - selfish, rude, controlling, and manipulative. You can't get him back to who ... (read in full...)
I have an intimate question ...
Q. I have an intimate question ... I've been with my boyfriend for two years and we have had sex many times but I've never orgasmed. I'm not sure I can and I think it's really getting my boyfriend down as he feels like he can't satisfy me. Sometimes I ...
A. 17 July 2016: Lots of women can't reach orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, without some kind of clitoral stimulation thrown in. You may be one of them. (I am.) But no worries, it's neither the end of the world nor the end of a healthy sex life. Try adding ... (read in full...)
Every one she has cheated on me with was a guy. I wonder, what should I do?.
Q. I am a 25 year old stud lesbian I've been with the same woman since we were 16. We are married. She is the love of my life and couldn't picture one minute with out her in my life But we have had are bad times we have both cheated on each other I ...
A. 16 July 2016: I'm sorry to say that as much as you may love her, it does not sound like you two are right for one another. It seems that perhaps when you married she hadn't fully sorted out her sexuality. At a minimum, she is bisexual, or she wouldn't be ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to stop jumping for anything his wife wants and see that his wife is trying to control him?
Q. I am married and have been dating a married man for 3 yrs.Neither of us are having sex with our spouses. He says he doesn't love her but if she wants to do something and we have plans he just doesn't call me to let me know. He waits until after ...
A. 3 July 2016: The simple answer is, you can't.
He may TELL you whatever he thinks will keep you around for the free sex, but she doesn't control him, or he would have left you the minute she told him to do so. Because that's a totally valid request, and not ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be upset about my boyfriend going on a "men's day out"? no women allowed.
Q. Am I right to be upset about my boyfriend going out for the day with his male friends?. He is going out for the day with his male friends this afternoon. He said no women are allowed. He said they go on a day out together every year. He also to...
A. 19 June 2016: I think you have received some excellent advice and would second all those who say that taken alone, the day out is no big deal.
I just wanted to add that red flags flew for me when you mentioned you only meet him at your house or at the pub, and... (read in full...)
We are like two guys who are room-mates. Marriage together has become boring. Is this how it is? Are my expectations too high?
Q. About to hit my one year anniversary. However, I am very bored of my husband. I am unhappy, and resentful of the marriage. His standards are very low, so low that we are just married roommates. We both end up doing our own thing. We rarely talk, ...
A. 15 May 2016: No, your expectations are not too high. A sexless marriage with no meaningful interaction is, as you have stated, like marriage to a roommate. The problem you're having isn't uncommon, but it's odd to see so early in a marriage. This is the type of ... (read in full...)
Why will a married man NOT leave his mistress, even when affair is in danger of being exposed?
Q. Why won't a married man give up his long time mistress EVEN when their affair is in danger of being exposed to the world and to his wife? For example: Some people in their work place are starting to become suspicious. But he still won't leave hi...
A. 2 May 2016: Is it possible the wife already knows or strongly suspects, and turns a blind eye rather than trade the security of married life for the uncertainty of divorce?
There's also the chance that the man is simply thinking with the same (smaller... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to screen out women as potential partners due to their past sexual history and how many partners they have had?
Q. I spent a lot of my teens having low self-esteem and have very little dating experience. I had a girlfriend in high school. Still a virgin even though I have done everything else. I used a lot of that time to make sure I have an amazing future and ...
A. 2 May 2016: I think you are wise to identify before forming a relationship with someone who does have a past that this might be an issue for you in the long run. It sounds like you have two choices here...
'Screen' partners as you have described - there is... (read in full...)
We’ve been dating one month and I found his arrest records online! Should I ask him about it? How?
Q. I’ve been dating a wonderful man for a month. We’re very compatible, he’s family oriented and successful, and does everything big and little to show he cares for me. All signs are very good. He’s an entrepreneur and there’s plenty of info about him ...
A. 30 April 2016: Fellow California resident here. If you know the location of his arrest, search the applicable county or municipal court. This is free in some jurisdictions (some of these will require that you know his date of birth or the case number in order to ... (read in full...)
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