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... Send *ike I see it a private message | | | *ike I see it's profile:I believe that everyone has the right to be treated with respect in his or her relationship, and advise accordingly. Life is too short to stay where you're not happy!
***Please note: although I'm flattered by inbox requests for advice, the beauty of DearCupid lies in the wide variety of perspectives shared by the aunts on this site. If you have a relationship question, please post it to the main site so that more than one person can assist you with it :)
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I don't know how to handle this relationship with a mooching friend!
Q. There's this mooch of a friend I had a while back which I recently unfriended on Facebook , but haven't met her since. She was basically taking advantage of my generous and "patient" nature. I was rather passive to be honest and when mistreated, ...
A. 3 October 2013: Nah, I'd just ignore her.
Sitting her down and saying "here's a laundry list of what's wrong with you" seems a bit pompous to be honest, and what exactly are you expecting out of doing that? For her to be grateful that you've pointed out all thes... (read in full...)
Suffering erectile dysfunction. Would it be wrong to encourage my wife to take lovers?
Q. I become unable to perform with a full erection. My wife thinks that I no longer want her and am gay or at least bi-sexual.I get very excited thinking about and talking about her having a sexual encounter with another man. She is using topical ...
A. 3 October 2013: It's not wrong if it's something you both want and are comfortable with, but it's very rare for both parties to be equally amenable to this sort of thing. Have you discussed it with your wife? Is she also interested in the cuckold lifestyle, or is ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my married stepbrother and now feel absolutely sick!
Q. I’m incredibly confused and ashamed of what I did the other night. When I was 10 my mother got remarried and along with her new marriage came my stepbrother who is 2 years older than I am. Despite the fact that I wasn’t too happy about the whole ...
A. 3 October 2013: All I can say is that it will never feel worse than it does now. As time goes by you will forgive yourself--maybe slowly, but it will happen. You made a mistake, you understand it was a mistake, and it doesn't make you a bad person, just a person ... (read in full...)
Complicated setup for a concert, should I go?
Q. Ive been in a relationship with a man for going on three years. He has been in a relationship with a woman for thirty yrs. He treats me very well...Ok heres the deaL.. He purchased the Whispers concert tickets... He also invited and old time ...
A. 2 October 2013: Your boyfriend apparently doesn't expect it to be awkward or he'd be playing it safe and taking the woman he's been dating for 20 years.
If you think the strange feeling you have over his friends finding out about the two of you is going to overs... (read in full...)
I have crushes on 2 friends!
Q. OK, I have 2 really big crushes. Lets call them Rachel and Sarah. I’m back in college after over 10 years and find myself fallen for 2 of my classmates both in separate classes. Today as I’m in the cafeteria I find them both sitting together ...
A. 2 October 2013: You're not too old to ask.
You are however old enough that whichever girl you ask may be wary of the age gap (assuming they're both early 20's college students). As young adults they are just starting to get a sense of who they are and what the... (read in full...)
Can you get over a lack of physical attraction if the person is great enough?
Q. How do you get over not having a physical attraction to someone? I met the most amazing guy. Which is not something I say easily or throw around, I have been married and never talked that way about my ex husband. We have been talking for a fe...
A. 2 October 2013: No judgment here. What people find physically attractive can vary wildly from person to person. Some people have a "type" they hardly ever date outside and others don't seem to. A great personality can compensate for quite a bit depending on the ... (read in full...)
My selfish husband doesn't turn me on
Q. Me and my husband have been married for 3 years together for 5 and we have a 3 month old baby together. I'm finding I'm just into my hubby as sexually anymore I still find him very attractive but when we get down to sex it's so boring! I don't ge...
A. 2 October 2013: It's frankly amazing to me how many guys think that just sticking their d**k in a woman should be all it takes to pleasure both parties. That said, not all men seem to get the concept that there are women out there who will ONLY come with clitoral ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend watch chubby porn even though he says he's not attracted to larger women?
Q. Hi Ok my my boyfriend (30yrs) and I have been together for a year. He watches porn, which I'm ok with - most of the time! He told me a couple of months ago that he sometimes watches chubby (or BBW) porn. He said it makes it seem more real like the...
A. 2 October 2013: Well, I've been turned on by gay porn and I'm a straight woman, not a gay man... I've gotten off to facial scenes even though I've never much enjoyed it in real life... and I'd never actually want to participate in group sex but I've enjoyed porn ... (read in full...)
Married man got caught. Would he lie to me about this?
Q. Are there any reasons why a married man would lie to his mistress about getting caught by his wife? NO judgements please........ He was caught over the weekend and told me they were having a major fight and that he would get in touch with me. I d...
A. 2 October 2013: If he wanted to end the affair discreetly, that would be as good a way as any to go about it. It's possible he feared that telling you straight out that it's over simply because he wants it to be would end with you feeling used or angry or both and ... (read in full...)
My gf of two years wont do anything sexual with me
Q. Hi! I have a problem and I really need some answers. I have been with my gf for two years. I love her to bits, I think she really is the one for me. However, she wont let me do anything sexual. We only kiss when we're together and that's it. Being ...
A. 1 October 2013: You say she's had no previous relationships and doesn't yet see that intimacy is a good thing, so I'm assuming she's either a virgin or has yet to have intimacy she enjoyed and consented to. How old is your girlfriend, exactly? If she's in you... (read in full...)
Was I wrong for giving my b/f grief about answering her text?
Q. Hi!! A few days ago my bf asked a girl something about class over twitter, they talked about that for a few posts and then a guy that studies with them said a joke involving both the girl and my bf. The girl answered saying that she loves them, th...
A. 1 October 2013: I do think you are overreacting.
She put him in an awkward spot by texting "I love you." She has a partner and so does he. Even though it was a joke, there's really no good way to respond to something like that. In replying that he loved himself ... (read in full...)
He doesn't know about our future together. Is it worth staying with him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year and a half. We get along great, we havn't really had a fight as we seem to be able to take conflict and talk it out, we enjoy spending time together and doing things together and we respect ...
A. 1 October 2013: Unless he was engaged as a teenager, I'm guessing he's somewhat older than you? Definitely old enough to have at least an idea of what he's looking for in life and in a partner. Maybe it is just fear of commitment, but 9 years is a long time to g... (read in full...)
Is it safe to go to a music festival alone?
Q. Would you go to a music festival alone? I moved to a new city a few months ago, and haven't made any close friends yet. Since moving here, I have missed out on a few events that I've really wanted to go to, but have ended up just staying home ...
A. 1 October 2013: Chigirl, I guess I should rephrase. I found that dressing conservatively at shows greatly reduced the unwanted attention, up to and including physical harassment, that I received from men. I'm not necessarily speaking of rape. I think the most ... (read in full...)
Any advice on regaining some sort of power in a casual relationship?
Q. Hi, I find myself in a bad situation, the classic casual hook up turned messy. I am seeing a younger man casually (I didnt think there was a future in it because of the age difference) and now I am having the usual problems associated with ...
A. 1 October 2013: Regardless of whether you are able to tip the balance and regain the "power" you're looking for, I don't see this ending how you'd like it to. You want something other than sex from a liaison that was and is exclusively aimed at sex. But not onl... (read in full...)
Need some advice regarding healthy food options to help with weight loss.
Q. Hi there, I wrote up last week about wanting to loose a stone quickly. Thanks for your advice I totally get where your all coming from. I just wondered if you could give me some advice on a controlled diet as, as usual people say eat salads but I ...
A. 1 October 2013: I have two major suggestions for you. First off, try to eat more protein. It sounds as though there's very little in your diet currently. Protein-rich foods also help you feel more full after eating less, and they don't cause that quick spike in e... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have such serious conversations?
Q. I have posted once before, and I found the replies very helpful. I'd like to know if it's normal for my boyfriend and I to have serious talks about the future, such as marriage? We've been together for just over a month, but the conversations don't ...
A. 1 October 2013: I'm not sure most couples in the age range you give are talking about marriage with each other, but just because you're in the minority doesn't make it wrong or bad. As long as you both are comfortable with the direction your conversations take, ... (read in full...)
I hacked her facebook from her phone and found she's talking to a guy!
Q. Hello am I 27 year old male who has been with my girlfriend for the past 5 months. We've been having some problems lately. I looked on her phone which I know I shouldn't have done but I went to her Facebook account and looked at her messages and ...
A. 30 September 2013: I'm not going to lecture you about snooping. In most cases, if one party in a relationship feels insecure enough in that relationship that they don't trust their partner without checking up on their partner's actions, both parties are at fault - the ... (read in full...)
I just want to tell him I have a crush on him!
Q. Hey guys, so i've had a crush on this guy at school (im also a guy and i am gay) but the problem is i've never had an actual conversation with him. Im also pretty sure hes straight even though he hasn't had a girlfriend. My problem is that im sure ...
A. 30 September 2013: Are you "out" to your friends, family, and classmates?
I ask because it doesn't sound like you know this guy too well. Suppose he turns out to be a homophobe... and freaks out when you tell him, and then tells his friends what happened. If your ... (read in full...)
Will it cause problems with my fellow lifeguards if I ask him out?
Q. I work as a life guard in a indoor pool and I'm very attracted to one guy who started swimming there. He is tall dark and handsome and very sociable. There is one issue though, whenever I talk to him I find myself glancing down at his body and ...
A. 30 September 2013: Are they friends of yours?
Is there a policy against employees dating pool patrons?
If you answered no to both questions, I'd say go for it. But try not to do it while you're on the clock.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Vibrators - are they all penetrative?
Q. Hi, We've discussed vibrators and wanted to know if vibrators have to be inserted? my wife always has clitoral orgasms and is not comfortable with anything being inserted into her. Having a brief look, it looks like they need to be penetrative w...
A. 29 September 2013: Quite a few are designed exclusively for the clitoris.
You can buy them discreetly online but if there is a sex shop in your area I would heartily recommend checking them out in person to have a better idea of their size, texture, etc. The stor... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 29 September 2013: I'm not judgmental of the situation you two are in, but there is one thing I really want to hit home to you. If you go visit this girl in Texas and she stands by what she said about not wanting to have sex, you *need* to respect that, no matter ... (read in full...)
Yells, screams and is needlessly hostile to me. How do I deal with my BF when he is like this?
Q. Needlessly hostile boyfriend, hard to deal with. I'm on my last nerve with my boyfriend, and I feel like I have no one else to turn to. We've been dating for over a year, and we're both 21. This weekend was supposed to be a good, fun couple of days ...
A. 29 September 2013: It's nothing you have done wrong. That angry and irrational person is who your boyfriend is. It can easily take a year or even longer to get to know someone fully in a relationship, and your boyfriend finally feels comfortable enough around you ... (read in full...)
She's unhappy about it. Is it wrong to be in a casual relationship with a guy who has an open relationship with his Gf?
Q. Is it wrong of me to be continuing a casual relationship with a guy who is in an open relationship with another girl, and the girl is beginning to be unhappy about it? It's nothing serious between us (though it is ongoing, around once or twice a ...
A. 29 September 2013: You're right - it's not your problem, and she has made use of the openness of the relationship in the past so it's a bit hypocritical of her to complain now. Can you continue things as they are? Yes, if you want to, i.e. if the drama from her is ... (read in full...)
How do I approach and initiate a conversation and talk to my crush?
Q. Ok, let's just make this short. Well at least attempt to make it short?? I have a crush, I see him at breakfast everyday but I don't talk to him at all. I have no classes with him so what's the point. I find it weird if I were to do that, just go ...
A. 29 September 2013: You're right, trying to start a conversation beyond an exchange of "Hey"s in passing will be difficult when both of you are en route to separate classes.
Can you sit with him at breakfast, or have your group of friends sit with his group and stri... (read in full...)
My Uncle's solution has upset me. What can I do? He wants to disappear as payback for his wife's adultery.
Q. Dear Aunts i now find myself asking you for your advice on this family issue. My uncle and aunt have played a critical role in my up bringing for the first fifteen years of my life. My uncle confided in me that his wife my aunt confessed to him t...
A. 29 September 2013: I'm with Tisha - his vow to "settle a score" before he disappears should not be taken lightly. If there's even a remote possibility that he intends to cause harm to his wife or her affair partners, you need to inform law enforcement.
Here ... (read in full...)
How to overcome the lack of sex in our marriage?
Q. My spouse are both in our seventies and I still get the urge for sex, but because of her medical problems she's afraid to even try to have sex. She won't even let me touch her. We've been married for fifty years, it wouldn't make sense for me to ...
A. 29 September 2013: You say your wife abstains because of worries about her health, but I get the vague impression you think these concerns aren't legitimate - at least not legitimate enough that you'll accept masturbation as a viable long-term option in order to stay ... (read in full...)
Is it safe to go to a music festival alone?
Q. Would you go to a music festival alone? I moved to a new city a few months ago, and haven't made any close friends yet. Since moving here, I have missed out on a few events that I've really wanted to go to, but have ended up just staying home ...
A. 28 September 2013: I've done it (at Coachella here in the States) and felt perfectly safe doing so. Just keep in mind that if you are alone, YOU have to stay sober and unaltered enough to make good decisions and keep yourself safe. In a perfect world everyone w... (read in full...)
My married male friend has admitted to being in love with me!
Q. Ok, so I am a 21 yr old female, student, and i have this male friend(30), an audiologist, who is married and has a kid.. I always saw him in this friend area...plus he is my best friend. He admitted of being Madly in love with me. It was a ...
A. 28 September 2013: He's 30 years old and I'm sure that at his age he knows that what he's doing isn't right. But he's trying to manipulate you anyway to see how far he can get. If you wish to respect his wife, marriage and child, you will have to cut contact wit... (read in full...)
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