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... Send *ovial a private message | | | *ovial's profile:hi everyone
I am a woman in my early thirties.
I think what qualifies me is that I love helping people probably because I want to see everyone happy, I cant stand seeing people in pain I always try to find solutions to make them feel comfortable with their situations. I also like being around people socially especially kids are such a joy to spend time with.
All the responses I give are to be used as guidelines not AS-IS while making future decisions. Most of this responses I truly give based on an opinion and lessons learnt from past and present experiences. you are always welcome to pm me if you require my opinion i promise to respond objectively.
Jovial
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| Latest articles: Is it wise to excuse staying in an unhappy relationship by labeling it ‘Complicated’?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: So often we fall in love with someone who is not in love with us and chase after them that we fail to notice those who are chasing after us. Relationships are complicated so are we. Have u ever been asked how is it so far with your boyfriend? Are ...
Is all completely fair in love and war?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: Hello there! Why did someone came up with the words its all fair in love and war? I told my friend my ex-colleague and friend was coming over for supper last Saturday night she said oh really I am so looking forward to meeting him is he married? I...
I don’t know which one is worse space or let’s be friends?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 April 2008: Hello there! It starts with: “Baby we need to talk” - “I think I need a space” or “I think we should break-up”, “Don’t worry we can still be friends”……… OUCH! Dumpee “Honey why? I thought we were tight” Baby please!!! I don’t understand cant ...
Take courage and go back to the ring
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 May 2007: I was in the bus this morning when the two ladies were gossiping about a co-worker who is sleeping with her friend’s husband (who happens to be her boss) behind her back. The other one said “oh that woman is very crazy she thinks living it like that ...
When do you know its time to let go?
No replies yet... 10 May 2007: Few weeks ago a friend of mine found out her fiancée has a child by a girl from his neighborhood and all this were unknown to her, you can imagine the pain she felt, she was and still is heartbroken and perplexed by what the man she loved and ...
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We should never have split up! Help... what should I do now?
Q. Basically we are one year down the line, and I have broken up with the girl again........again not being able to talk things through, and taking the silly option of splitting........... Well its one year on and its happened again. I star...
A. 27 February 2007: i gues you feel so much better now being so honest about how you feel without any fears of letting out, if u were really a closed book i am sure this was your first communication lesson. i hope u have learnt your lesson from this one. close this ... (read in full...)
We should never have split up! Help... what should I do now?
Q. Basically we are one year down the line, and I have broken up with the girl again........again not being able to talk things through, and taking the silly option of splitting........... Well its one year on and its happened again. I star...
A. 27 February 2007: hi Jude
iam sorry things turned out this way. you tried to make it work but her wounds are still fresh, so i gues its time to move on, it is understandable wanting her back because you love her but she hasnt forgiven you for all the things that went... (read in full...)
We should never have split up! Help... what should I do now?
Q. Basically we are one year down the line, and I have broken up with the girl again........again not being able to talk things through, and taking the silly option of splitting........... Well its one year on and its happened again. I star...
A. 20 February 2007: hey J
i am glad things are becoming clear now. Her mail depicts that she doesn’t want you anymore she said she was always happy to meet-up with u but lately she is not feeling the same. She made it clear that she doesn’t want you to think you guys... (read in full...)
I'm seeing my ex while she's still with this guy and I want her to tell him.
Q. Need some advice please. OK so my ex-girlfriend and I broke up like 9 months ago after dating for like a little over a year. We were serious. Anyway, she broke up with me but we still fooled around and still acted like bf/gf. It was weird for me ...
A. 13 February 2007: yes do something like making peace with the fact that she is a dishonest person? can that be a start? she is fooling around with her ex .-.you whilst she is dating another guy, how do you know she wnt do the same thing to you with her future ex? i ... (read in full...)
We've been together 7 years and I was going to ask her to marry me on valentine's day but now she's dumped me
Q. ok here it goes, my girflriend and i starting dating 6 years ago, she was 17, i was 19, about 4 years ago my gf cheated on me , and lied for a about a year about it, even though i knew , and asked her about it, finally she told me, i wasn't ok with ...
A. 13 February 2007: hi mickey
i am sorry about what happened unfortunately when something is done is done and cannot be undone, i think the first aunt had said a mouthful. what i can add is that when you are angry about something let it out gracefully dont sweep anyt... (read in full...)
My boyfriend talks to his ex but she doesn't know about me. Why won't he tell her?
Q. I know my bf talks with his ex gf sometimes, and he doesn't want her to know that he has a gf, he told me that the reason is because he doesn't want her to ask him so many questions, should i believe him, is this just a lie? Is he not telling her ...
A. 13 February 2007: Hi
it doesnt sound right to me either. you are not suppose to stay in this relationship if he is ashamed of you because that is how it sound to me. are you sure they have broken up? because i know some players will tell you about the ex they have... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is mentoring this other woman, should I be concerned?
Q. How do you know when to be worried? My boyfriend of 2 years recently started "mentoring" a young, single college woman. At first I wasn't too concerned. He said he met her a conference he spoke at a few months ago, in a neighboring city...
A. 13 February 2007: Dear anon
i think you have every reason to worry, you are a woman who is just running out of patience because things have certainly taken a different shape since this girl came into your lives. the way i see if your bf is innocent in all this i wo... (read in full...)
Did he really have an affair with this woman? He said no, should I believe him?
Q. About 9 years ago my husband seemed quite close to a female work colleague. He gave her a lift to work on a few occasions when she had problems with her car. I did not mind this. That same year he became very distant to me when in the past he had ...
A. 13 February 2007: i have to agree with Eve you need to bury the past and focus on your future. the woman moved on with her life and you are letting the shadow of someone who is happy God knows where ruin your marriage i think its a bit irrational. maybe he lied to ... (read in full...)
I am going to be married but I have since found my boyfriend to be devious. Am I imagining it?
Q. Hi there, Am I wrong to have such uneasy feelings about the man who claims he wants to marry me. To make a long story short, we set a date, he told me to take care of all the arrangements, so I start to do so, even ordered my dress, there are...
A. 13 February 2007: hi
unfortunately i have to agree with dr john, you cant marry this man until you are sure that his behaviour is not intended. give yourself time to think about this before you set another date. remember you dont have to go through wedding arra... (read in full...)
Suspicions of prior gf's having sex with other guys caused me to break off with them. Now it's happening again! Help?
Q. Hey...I have a really peculiar problem..and I do'nt know if it affects most guys or girls, but it's killing all my relationships...Flash back...My Italian girlfriend moved back home 2 years ago..then I began suspecting that she was doing "it" with ...
A. 13 February 2007: hello Gman
i think you need to start building friendship before taking things further, dont just meet a girl today and think you want a serious relationship without getting to know her first. it is easy to trust a friend and if you cant build a frie... (read in full...)
We should never have split up! Help... what should I do now?
Q. Basically we are one year down the line, and I have broken up with the girl again........again not being able to talk things through, and taking the silly option of splitting........... Well its one year on and its happened again. I star...
A. 13 February 2007: hello jude
i am glad you decided to chill i think if she is allowing phone conversations its a good sign she is willing to forgive. just be there for her during her op and dont push things, because you might exceed the limit unknowingly. your acti... (read in full...)
I'm involved with a "two-year" man!
Q. Help! I think I'm involved with the "2-year-man"....meaning, none of his relationships ever last longer than 2 years because he gets bored and the women eventually get frustrated with being ignored or feeling distant and end up dumping him. I t...
A. 9 February 2007: i think you need to stop working yourself up, he might be a two year man, but you are a different person, you are the first of your kind to him, maybe you have changed him by being yourself or you made no difference because of your constant fear of ... (read in full...)
Just split up with my fiancee after a row... what now?
Q. Hi everyone. I've just split up with my fiance in the heat of the moment of an argument and I don't know what to do. It's definately over and he's not answering the phone or texts and I regret finishing it. Im texting him saying can we work it out ...
A. 9 February 2007: Dear anon
i think you are being a little irrational, you just fought and people handle conflicts in different manner i dont know what it was about, how heavy it was, but throwing the towel now while you know you still need a bit of time to chat this... (read in full...)
Or is it just me... ?
Q. Do all girls always think about male's sex organ?...
A. 9 February 2007: No, maybe those who are addicted to sex might say otherwise... (read in full...)
Should I keep him as a friend... or more?
Q. Hi. I hope someone can help me out with this. well i like this guys who is over 20yrs older than me. He flirts with me all the time and i am always finding myself visiting him while hes at work. hes always joking about me and him going for coffee or ...
A. 9 February 2007: i would say keep him as a friend dont take anything further i dont know how old you are but the classification puts at a very young age to date such an old dude. i am not saying dating older people is wrong but at your age i think its better to mix ... (read in full...)
Why is my girlfriend so open? She knows all about her Aunt's fanny, her brother's sex life, and more!!
Q. Why is my girlfriend so open? She told me once that her auntie had a vaginal problem and went into detail about it. She knows all about her brothers private lifes and is so open about sex and pregnancy that it really really irritates me. I think it ...
A. 9 February 2007: i think this woman has no respect for you because you have voiced how you feel and yet she continues to annoy you with unwelcome habit. you need to lay boundries in this relationship, her mother might have taught her to be open but she forgot to ... (read in full...)
I'm scared if i forget her we will never be together again!!
Q. My Girlfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me and said she wants to be single but she also belives that one day we will be together again. i know the only way i will be ok is if i forget her completely, but i feel like if i do i will never be able to ...
A. 8 February 2007: Dear chrispy
i know it is hard to let go, but for to let her leave her life is to let her go, remember that all the memories you share will stay with you forever and can never be forgotten so that is what you can hold onto. sometimes it is easi... (read in full...)
Why is my girlfriend so open? She knows all about her Aunt's fanny, her brother's sex life, and more!!
Q. Why is my girlfriend so open? She told me once that her auntie had a vaginal problem and went into detail about it. She knows all about her brothers private lifes and is so open about sex and pregnancy that it really really irritates me. I think it ...
A. 8 February 2007: hi
i think this is one type of openness we all love to hate. your gf need to learn when to say things and not to say anything, i understand where you are coming from i also get annoyed when a person tell me things i dont want to know about espe... (read in full...)
I have lost the perfect girl for me!!
Q. I just lost the perfect girl... for me anyway. What do i do? I have dated and lived with me ex for 3 1/2 years. We have moved From Atlanta to Miami and back to Atlanta. When we lived in Miami (where i grew up) she was unhappy and then the news cam...
A. 8 February 2007: Dear Chrispy
i am sorry about all this. you moved so that you can give her more support and it seems that support was not appreciated. but i think she is grateful but doesnt know how to show it as her mother's illness might be the one trig... (read in full...)
"How do I deal and speak to a person who is so unfair and only see things from her side?"
Q. Hi , rather unfortunately this is happening more often now days.... two people meet, things are great at start, after few months of knowing each other responsibilities kicks in, some other reality of life comes out, then suddenly they start argui...
A. 8 February 2007: Dear anon
i am so sorry things are or didnt work out the way you wanted, but life itself is full of opportunities. you have met a wrong woman for you, you arent suitable for each other i dont mean to upset you even further but couple are supp... (read in full...)
My husband has admitted he visited a brothel but said nothing happened. Do I believe him???
Q. I recently found the numbers of two local brothels and two massage parlours in my husband's computer and on his mobile phone bill. When I asked him to explain he said he likes to ring them and ask about their services so he can masturbate as they ...
A. 8 February 2007: hi there
unfortunately we cant tell you anything as he is the one holding the truth. you are not mad at all and i know it can not be easy for you knowing what he had been upto, but if you have decided to forgive him i think you need to let it go, ... (read in full...)
We both got drunk on Sat and I said things I regret...
Q. I have been arguing with my boyfriend recently over silly things and I think this is because we work together and have recently moved in together. It came to a head on Saturday night as we were both drunk and I said things I really didn’t mean. I ...
A. 8 February 2007: hi there
the piece of response you provided doesnt show any sign of resentment or coldness towards although it doesnt reveal any hint of him wanting you back or rejecting i think you guys still have a chance. i would say wait for him to respond to y... (read in full...)
We should never have split up! Help... what should I do now?
Q. Basically we are one year down the line, and I have broken up with the girl again........again not being able to talk things through, and taking the silly option of splitting........... Well its one year on and its happened again. I star...
A. 8 February 2007: dear Jude
i think what you need to do is to give a bit of time because right now she feels disrected by your behaviour i know you think you did all this with the influence of alcohol but the truth is you knew exactly what you were doing so stop sayi... (read in full...)
Even though we don't date, he still treats me like his gf. How can I change his mind and get him dating me again?
Q. He doesn't want a relationship with me because he works all the time and i'm at college so we'd never see each other, even though when we do see each other now he treats me like a girlfriend. Is there anything I can do to change his mind? ...
A. 7 February 2007: hi
you can start by telling him how you feel. you need reassurance from him he is the one who can tell you why he treats you like his gf when it suits him you deserve to know so that you can know what to expect. if u decide to date him you will have... (read in full...)
Hope is tearing me apart!!
Q. How do you know when the break-up's for real, and you're not going to get back together? I know you're supposed to always believe that it's permanent, but how do you force yourself to give up that hope when neither party's moved on, both seem to ...
A. 7 February 2007: hi
been there several times but a girl gotta move-on. it is still too soon for you to let go but as stupid as it is sound it is also a good time for you to train your mind to let go, this is the time that delusion is at its best, you dream of him ... (read in full...)
Should I find a guy or stay single??
Q. In my "group" everyone seems to have a b/f and they are all telling me to go out with a guy. I dont want to seem concieted or anything, but even if im nice to the guy and even if i dont thnk im pretty, ppl tell me im pretty, i cant get a guy! I ...
A. 7 February 2007: i think do what makes you happy. that way you will be immune to any negative remarks from your group. you are still very young to just go with a guy bcos everyone in your group has one. relax and live your life the way you see it fit, people say a ... (read in full...)
We were close friends but now shes a BIG MOUTH spreading my secrets!
Q. the past 2 years ive been friends wih this girl, and since we became closer i told her mostly...everything. but now, shes copying my other friend which is really annoying b/c she is meaner, more annoying, and has become a big mouth. this past wee...
A. 7 February 2007: forgive her and scratch her off your list of friends because no one need a friend like that. a friend is someone you connect with in some levels no one understand but only yourself can. a friend need to respect a friend and u will agree with me when ... (read in full...)
Secret relationship to respect my dad - or am I disrespecting my man?
Q. my bf asked me one time as to why that he cannot visit me at home,were just been 6mos. with this relationship yet i did told him that my father is so strict that he might get angry , im 25 years old but due to my respect to my father ive been a good ...
A. 7 February 2007: hi there
in my culture you can only introduce a boy or a girl you are going to marry, if today i have a new beau i bring him to my parents, next month is a new one i bring him home, another one comes along you still takes him home this beha... (read in full...)
I want to see where this man lives but he says it's not convenient at the moment, has he something to hide?
Q. Dear Readers Please help! I met a man 7 months ago on an online dating site. He was married but separated from his wife. We dated, and eventually began a sexual relationship. However, he has never invited me to his home (or his Dad's home, wher...
A. 7 February 2007: hi
i agree with eve, the only way to find out is through detective work, she might be vindictive and everything but why would she care? its over between them. he is still married if you ask me. if you cant seem to find anything on him regarding wher... (read in full...)
Our family got in the way of our happiness, now we've broken up!
Q. My partner and i have been living together 3 years 6 months and we had our ups and downs,we have been through alot together we now have moved to the UK far away from our home country but strangely our parents came on a holiday after 2 years and ...
A. 7 February 2007: hi
i think you need to accept that things might never be right between the two of you. she knew all along your parents dont get along maybe her mother being around made her miss home and she decided to turn things around so that you wont have to b... (read in full...)
I wasnt looking for love, then there he was, things were fab and I was happy and then he went cold!! What can I do ?
Q. I am Separated right now. Not looking for love at all just want to be alone.Last week I was online looking for an old school friend. While I was looking I found someone else by the same name in the same city.I was bored so I decided to just read ...
A. 6 February 2007: i think you must slow down, i think the way you are feeling is an excitement you are seperated and yet another man gave you so much attention and showed a lot of interest in you than anticipated, you needed the attention and you got it which caused ... (read in full...)
So stressed that my parents fight all the time and she makes us choose who we want to be with!!!!
Q. Hi..this is driving me nuts and I reeeeeallly need to get some sound advice. My mum and dad haven't had a great relationship in forever now. He cheated on her once, I think she forgave it. His family didn't treat her too well and he didn't stick up ...
A. 6 February 2007: hi
i am sorry about everything i had been there and survived. what i can say to you is this for your sanity talk to your mother you dont have to take sides but atleast you know where this is coming from at your age you should be able to support your... (read in full...)
What advice can I give to a friend whose heartbroken after falling in love with his friend ?
Q. What is the best advice for a friend who's heart-broken because he fell inlove with his close friend?...
A. 6 February 2007: i agree with the previous writer. also be there for him without judging him, the fact that you dont know what to say its because you just have to hold his hand silently and be a friend. when he is ready to talk just listen and you will know the ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so paranoid, we have plans to marry and things are great, but I still have bad thoughts!!
Q. Hi, I.m 25 and i have been with my partner for 4yrs, and we are planning to get married. but i get paranoid or it could be lack of confidence, or both but, i get it when we go out with other girls mates, and at home with him where i think hes going ...
A. 6 February 2007: hi
being paranoid is natural given your history with men. but still it doesnt justify your actions because people are not the same, this man is getting irritated by your paranoia because it tells him you dont trust him, no one wants to stay in a re... (read in full...)
How do you put yourself in a better frame of mind when you have a battered ego and are heartbroken ?
Q. Dear Cupid, How does one make themselves feel better? I know this is a pathetic question, and some will say that it all depends on the individual, which is true. However, when one is feeling down in the gutters with a wounded heart and bat...
A. 6 February 2007: hi
You focus your energy on things that makes you happy and feel better about yourself. you must remember that life is not always the best place to be. so to raise that battered ego u need to appreciate yourself as a person, look at the things you ... (read in full...)
Would you leave this guy alone with your child even if he is the father? My lawyer is telling me in 3 months it will be ordered by a judge that he can get unsupervised visits. She is only 6 months old now
Q. Would you leave this guy alone with your child even if he is the father? My lawyer is telling me in 3 months it will be ordered by a judge that he can get unsupervised visits. She is only 6 months old now. He: Asked me to have an abortion (...
A. 5 February 2007: i am sorry about everything you are going thru, i will fight him with everything i got if i were in the same situation as you because only a mother can understand. i am glad your child has a good mother like you unfortunately i cant say the same ... (read in full...)
I love my gf but there's another who likes her a lot...what should I do about this guy and her?
Q. hi, my problem is i go out with a girl who is 2 years older than me. ive known her about 9 months an have been going out with her for about 1 month, i love her much but i dont think she loves me. we both go to school and there is a boy in her year ...
A. 1 February 2007: the reason why you are seeing this as a problem its because you are still young. dont worry you will learn with time that in this field there is competition, betrayals, heartache funny enough there is a lot of excitement, you are too young to be ... (read in full...)
I get emotional about small things and fear being taken advantage of - how can I stop this behavior?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 25 years old guy and am planning to settle down. It seems i get emotional about small things and fear that i would be taken advantage of by people because of this. One big threat i have is that of getting forced to do something ...
A. 1 February 2007: apologies spelling mistake: right=write
also you must try to write things that you lack courage on doing on your own, write the reasons why you feel that way and write what you think might be the solution this will help you to know where you need... (read in full...)
I get emotional about small things and fear being taken advantage of - how can I stop this behavior?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 25 years old guy and am planning to settle down. It seems i get emotional about small things and fear that i would be taken advantage of by people because of this. One big threat i have is that of getting forced to do something ...
A. 1 February 2007: dear prash
i think what you lack is self confidence i dont know what might have triggered this on your part. get books on building self esteem they will really help you with facing up all your fears. if its a pschological impact maybe cons... (read in full...)
His feelings for me have changed and it seems like he's avoiding me. I'm so confused. What should I do?
Q. If a guys actions don't seem to match with what he said, what should you believe, what he says to you, or the message you seem to get from how he acts? Like, if he tells you things are fine and don't worry but he's still acting weird and almost ...
A. 1 February 2007: Hi
How long have you guys been together? If this is a new flame and already you are having this communication problems, I think you have found yourself somebody who is very uncommunicative. You won’t know if the act is unintentional or inte... (read in full...)
My husband spends most of his time at work and not at home. I have also taken a liking to one of his co-workers. I can't stop thinking about him! Advice?
Q. They always say that a problem shared is a problem halved but in this case just writing it down will help. I am newly married mother of two young children and been with my partner for 7 years. My husband is a wonderful man, gets on with all my famil...
A. 1 February 2007: Hi
I think what u need to do is get more involved in your marriage the reason you are seeing more faults in your husband is because you have a crush on his colleague he seem like a lovely man because that’s what he is to you, because u don’t know... (read in full...)
My husband spends most of his time at work and not at home. I have also taken a liking to one of his co-workers. I can't stop thinking about him! Advice?
Q. They always say that a problem shared is a problem halved but in this case just writing it down will help. I am newly married mother of two young children and been with my partner for 7 years. My husband is a wonderful man, gets on with all my famil...
A. 1 February 2007: Hi
I think what u need to do is get more involved in your marriage the reason you are seeing more faults in your husband is because you have a crush on his colleague he seem like a lovely man because that’s what he is to you, because u don’t know... (read in full...)
When your bf or gf stops doing 'the little things' does that mean that they don't care anymore?
Q. I've seen a lot of posts on here about people saying after xx years (usually 1-3), their bf/fiance/husband just doesn't seem to do the 'little things' anymore (like call alot, text, want to cuddle not just for sex, bring flowers, pay compliments, ...
A. 1 February 2007: I don’t think anyone here can give you the right answers because relationships are different as people aren’t the same. If you and your partner celebrate for example valentine and anyone of you always go overboard then after few gestures your ... (read in full...)
When your bf or gf stops doing 'the little things' does that mean that they don't care anymore?
Q. I've seen a lot of posts on here about people saying after xx years (usually 1-3), their bf/fiance/husband just doesn't seem to do the 'little things' anymore (like call alot, text, want to cuddle not just for sex, bring flowers, pay compliments, ...
A. 1 February 2007: I don’t think anyone here can give you the right answers because relationships are different as people aren’t the same. If you and your partner celebrate for example valentine and anyone of you always go overboard then after few gestures your ... (read in full...)
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