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... Send *ovial a private message | | | *ovial's profile:hi everyone
I am a woman in my early thirties.
I think what qualifies me is that I love helping people probably because I want to see everyone happy, I cant stand seeing people in pain I always try to find solutions to make them feel comfortable with their situations. I also like being around people socially especially kids are such a joy to spend time with.
All the responses I give are to be used as guidelines not AS-IS while making future decisions. Most of this responses I truly give based on an opinion and lessons learnt from past and present experiences. you are always welcome to pm me if you require my opinion i promise to respond objectively.
Jovial
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| Latest articles: Is it wise to excuse staying in an unhappy relationship by labeling it ‘Complicated’?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: So often we fall in love with someone who is not in love with us and chase after them that we fail to notice those who are chasing after us. Relationships are complicated so are we. Have u ever been asked how is it so far with your boyfriend? Are ...
Is all completely fair in love and war?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: Hello there! Why did someone came up with the words its all fair in love and war? I told my friend my ex-colleague and friend was coming over for supper last Saturday night she said oh really I am so looking forward to meeting him is he married? I...
I don’t know which one is worse space or let’s be friends?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 April 2008: Hello there! It starts with: “Baby we need to talk” - “I think I need a space” or “I think we should break-up”, “Don’t worry we can still be friends”……… OUCH! Dumpee “Honey why? I thought we were tight” Baby please!!! I don’t understand cant ...
Take courage and go back to the ring
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 May 2007: I was in the bus this morning when the two ladies were gossiping about a co-worker who is sleeping with her friend’s husband (who happens to be her boss) behind her back. The other one said “oh that woman is very crazy she thinks living it like that ...
When do you know its time to let go?
No replies yet... 10 May 2007: Few weeks ago a friend of mine found out her fiancée has a child by a girl from his neighborhood and all this were unknown to her, you can imagine the pain she felt, she was and still is heartbroken and perplexed by what the man she loved and ...
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My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 11 March 2008: Dear Sarcy
I am so happy the events of the weekend turned positively towards your ‘recovery’ I am so overjoyed that little by little you are getting over ‘it’ I like it when you refer to him that way. Just between you and me it feels good to take... (read in full...)
My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 10 March 2008: Sarcy
I am so glad you are on the right path to recovery pain is pain as long as you don’t let it destroy your spirit you will get over it.
It’s amazing how you discovered his current worth ‘a lawn mower’ hahaha! Like Tellulah said hire a hunk the... (read in full...)
My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 4 March 2008: Sarcy
I hope for this to be over very soon. You are in so much pain and u deserve some closure. I feel your pain whenever I read any of your postings. I am saddened by everything that is going on in your life especially because u seem to cont... (read in full...)
My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 21 September 2007: Hi Sarcy I am so glad you finally washed away whatever feelings you had for this "husband", like your son said he is really a waste of space. I believe now you feel like an enormous weight had been lifted down your shoulders. It is really sad that... (read in full...)
I keep finding problems with my relationship; I feel like a drama queen!
Q. I keep falling into this bad pattern where I significantly endanger my relationship with my boyfriend to the extent that it's almost been over several [between 2 and 4 times, i think 2, within a yr] times. I've never made up drama for the sake of ...
A. 22 June 2007: hi
i dont know if im the right person to answer your question but kinda think i was once involved in a relationship that made feel like a drama queen. i felt naggy like i felt i was looking for problems were there aint any.
my ex was a quite sh... (read in full...)
He keeps cheating on me and I keep taking him back because I love him
Q. Hi ppl, im 19 yrs old and i was in a relationship for 3 years,we broke up coz he cheated on me twice..he says he loves me..it seems like im the girl he has a serious relationship with,but flirts around with other girls too..i broke up with him...
A. 22 June 2007: hi
believe me its not easy to forget someone u once loved and secured a space in your heart hoping to spend a lifetime with. he cheated on you more than once and u forgave him i think that was fair enough. now u gotta move on.
open your heart to... (read in full...)
I don't want to leave him but I want to experience more freedom
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now, and he's been wonderful to me, we even have plans of moving together in about a year... After three months of dating, I cheated on him with a guy I used to be in love with, but he turned out to...
A. 21 June 2007: i think what u are going through is what everybody in a committed relationship never cease to wonder because its natural to feel that way. the trick is being able to hold it together and be faithful to your partner. you found it easy to cheat on him ... (read in full...)
Will he ever overcome his fear of being hurt?
Q. Big problem, complicated situation. The wonderful man I was seeing for 5 months has been hurt by two girls in the past, he was engaged and almost married to both. When i came along, I had gotten divorced and been away from my ex for 1 1/2 years. He ...
A. 21 June 2007: hi
i think this guy is just full of his insecurities that he cant even see a good woman in front of his eyes. you did well loving him and all because if he decides he doesnt want u anymore u will have no regrets. he is the one who has to fight his ... (read in full...)
We're just friends but we have sex; I feel so jealous of the women he dates
Q. I recently moved in with my friend of 8 years and over the years we have had a sexual relationship. The relationship has never been more than sex and every time he meets someone new I'm left feeling jealous and alone. Once his relationship ends we ...
A. 21 June 2007: Hi
i think God loves us so much that he is able to give us authority to make our own choices. you made your choice and he made his. if u feel the arrangement is no longer working for u then move out, and refuse to have sex with him because u defi... (read in full...)
He's broken my heart; how can I move on when I still love him?
Q. hello i am a 22 y/o girl, over the past few days my bf of over a year has broken my heart, i feel very deeply hurt.. im a very very sensitive girl and i dont know what to do. he is of a different religion and i was studying that religion as i ...
A. 21 June 2007: hi
frankly speaking there is no easy way of moving past a broken relationship. what u need to do is to thank God you were able to love and to be loved unfortunately it was just for a while. find serenity in the fact that he was just not what you ... (read in full...)
Why would she want to go back with her ex even although he's been violent towards her in the past?
Q. Why would a girl who says she would rather be with you, then decide that she'd rather go back to her ex for the sake of their kid, even though he's been violent to her before and, by all accounts, sounds unstable? I can see her point of view that ...
A. 12 June 2007: your concern is full of compassion, unfortunately she is the only one who can free herself from this dysfunctional relationship. yes she will not be happy neither is the child because a child is only happy if the parents are getting along so well. ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm just her security blanket if this other guy doesn't work out.
Q. I'd been dating this woman for 2 years. I proposed to her in February (after encouragement by her and substancial discussion) and she accepted. In early May she met a guy via an online internet game. He sent her his picture, and she was excl...
A. 12 June 2007: Hi
you and this girl are over she broke it off because she decided to pursue a relationship with the other guy. all you need to do is to wish her well and let her go. i dont think this is the kind of woman you want to spend a life with, she sees... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of two years is best friends with a woman whom I find toxic.
Q. My boyfriend of two years is best friends with a woman whom I find toxic. She and I used to be good friends until she completely turned her back on me and began to spread rumors about me among our friends. My boyfriend has been good friends with her ...
A. 12 June 2007: I dont think there is any other thing you can do to save your boyfriend. he doesnt see this girl the way you do, and the fact that you and her are not in good terms makes it difficult to see your objective opinions. so let him learn from this i know ... (read in full...)
Should I just dump him so he can be with his first love, his mooching best friend?
Q. I hate my boyfriend's best friend. Every time he comes to town he mooches (READ: lives, drinks and eats on my boyfriend's money). Furthermore, when he's here my boyfriend refuses to answer his phone. Which really upsets me. If the guy is going...
A. 8 June 2007: i think your bf is struggling to put up a priority list. he needs to understand that somethings in life are not equal, so he has to learn the difference between a girfriend and a best friend. you have every right to feel negleted i mean you are not ... (read in full...)
It's been 7 days since I have talked, seen him, or any contact. Could he really lead me on this way, and leave me in the dark...and those last two days? (long)
Q. I dated a guy for almost two years. It was perfect! Yes we all have our flaws, but thats why I was attracted to him. From the very get go, he knew how I was. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. You can just tell what kind of mood I am in, by...
A. 8 June 2007: i think the guy decided to just tell you what your itching ears wanted to hear. your rship came to a point that was very sky high for both of you to resolve with a quick fix. he needs space and so do you. take all this time to pull yourself together ... (read in full...)
At only thirty years old, my boyfriend has black gums and yellow teeth.
Q. At only thirty years old, my boyfriend has black gums and yellow teeth. The one time I (gently) brought it up, he said that he needs thousands of dollars worth of dental work and is putting it off indefinitely. To me, ensuring that your teeth ...
A. 8 June 2007: i think this is one of those situations that you take or you leave. if i understood you correctly this is not a matter of hygiene right? so i believe that your bf knows that he does have a problem that he will have to solve sometime in his life. and ... (read in full...)
He has been in so many failed relationships that I'm scared for ours! He's a flirt, but says that he's never cheated. Am I being paranoid?
Q. I am in love with a man I've been seeing for 2 years but I have alot of fears about our future together. He's been married twice before and was engaged to be married before we started seeing each other. His fiancee broke it off and left town. ...
A. 7 June 2007: did it ever occured to you that maybe his other relationships never lasted because the women were feeling the same as you? just a thought.
you need to stop feeling secure, to set your mind free maybe you can just watch him closely and find out exac... (read in full...)
his phone called mine while he was getting the dance and I got to hear the stripper saying do you like that baby.
Q. My boyfriend went to a bachelor party and before he left I told him that I did not like the idea of strip clubs and he seemed to respond well to this however, once he was there "his friend" bought him a dance. Unfortunately his phone called mine ...
A. 7 June 2007: i think this is one of those things you cant help but to just agree with your man that he looked without tasting and get it over and done with. because i dont think there is a man who will swear not to like strip clubs and he is not tempted to enjoy ... (read in full...)
Her abusive ex has this mental hold on her! How can I get through to her?
Q. I have been getting to know this girl for about two months now and she has told me that she really likes me and would like to take things further. She has a young child which doesn't bother me in the slightest. The problem is that the father of the ...
A. 7 June 2007: sorry spelling mistake
but on the other hand she need to understand that you are only human so u do have a limited patience so u need to be reassured and she must tell you her plans.
WOMAN = HUMAN... (read in full...)
Her abusive ex has this mental hold on her! How can I get through to her?
Q. I have been getting to know this girl for about two months now and she has told me that she really likes me and would like to take things further. She has a young child which doesn't bother me in the slightest. The problem is that the father of the ...
A. 7 June 2007: unfortunately the matters of the heart are the ones that troubles us the most. you need to starting talking to this woman if she wants you she need to open up because really she will loose a good thing because of her troubled past. i know its tough ... (read in full...)
I'm paranoid my gf and some good friends are getting ready to ditch me! Any advice?
Q. I think that my life's falling apart, and I could use some advice. I've just left high school, and I've been finding it difficult coming to terms with having to get a job, and the prospect of uni in the future. But that's not the main problem....
A. 6 June 2007: Hi
I think you are being paranoid. You life is not falling apart. What you are struggling with is not keeping up with your friends and girlfriend, its keeping up with the change you are faced with in your life. Accept that things have changed and ... (read in full...)
Her abusive ex has this mental hold on her! How can I get through to her?
Q. I have been getting to know this girl for about two months now and she has told me that she really likes me and would like to take things further. She has a young child which doesn't bother me in the slightest. The problem is that the father of the ...
A. 6 June 2007: Hi
I think you are dealing with this very well. Unfortunately six months is still too soon to expect her to forget her abusive ex. Her self esteem is tarnished by this guy and he knows she is afraid of him that’s why he is using that. She is the ... (read in full...)
He used me for sex, got me pregnant-I had an abortion and said I gave him chalmydia. But why don't I hate him?
Q. Why is it that I don't hate this man? After sleeping with him after he just split up with his girlfriend.. on a no strings basis i got attached and did and still do really like him. To cut a long story short he got back together with his girl...
A. 6 June 2007: dear hyperbunny
i sympathise with you. i know you know you could have prevented the pregnancy so im not gonna ask you why you allowed yourself to end up in this situation.
anyway frankly speaking forget this guy he is not worth your love or whate... (read in full...)
His parents think I am using him to get an american citizenship! But I'm not...what should I do?
Q. I met my american boyfriend on his holiday while Im working in the UK, Im a filipina. He is visiting his uncle in the nursing home. I'm working and since then we had a long distant love affair. His parents is doubtful of me believing Im after his ...
A. 6 June 2007: hi
unfortunately when u are having a relationship with someone from another country that is the first thing that comes from people's mind. Im sure you are aware that some people can go to any extent to get a citizenship. so you dont have to worr... (read in full...)
He wants sex but I'm having 2nd thoughts. What should I do?
Q. I am 15. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months. We have done pretty much everything, except sex. He wants me to, and I think I do too but Im still not positive and Im having second thoughts. I keep thinking of things that can happen, like ...
A. 6 June 2007: Hi
at 15 i dont think it is a good idea for u to consider sexual intercourse you are still very young i dont know what are the laws in your country but in south africa the guy can face statutory rape charges for having sex with a minor. this is one ... (read in full...)
He left me for an old meth addict who convinced him that our daughter is not his!! I'm still in love with him - what should I do??
Q. I seriously feel like my life could be the next headline for the Jerry Springer Show. Seriously. My high school sweetheart, the father of my child left me about 10 months ago for a meth addict who is about 10 to 15 years OLDER than him. She had 2 ...
A. 5 June 2007: hi
i think u need to make peace with the fact that this guy no matter how much you love him he is just not worth it. give it up and move one with your life, take care of your child and ignore this guy, the truth is whether you believe it or not he h... (read in full...)
Is she cheating or am I being paranoid?
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend last week. I'm in my 30's, she's in her 20's. We both love each other, and have been together 5 years. I ended it because she seemed unsure of what to do... I went home for memorial day and didn't phone her for 4 ...
A. 5 June 2007: Hi decentguy
I think what you need right now is to relax and give this a thought before you continue with everything that makes you feel stupid. You brokeup with her because she doesn’t know what she wants so do you think is marriage she wants? Y... (read in full...)
Take courage and go back to the ring
Q. I was in the bus this morning when the two ladies were gossiping about a co-worker who is sleeping with her friend’s husband (who happens to be her boss) behind her back. The other one said “oh that woman is very crazy she thinks living it like that ...
A. 30 May 2007: I am sorry for everything you are going through. Dont give up now. one day you will meet someone who will appreciate you and love you the way you deserve to be loved. your first marriage didnt work out and that doesnt mean you must settle for less ... (read in full...)
people seem to judge me because I'm confident. How do I deal with it?
Q. I have shaped my personality in to being a person, a part of which people in my family and some members in society have rejected or find it inappropriate for the fear of being criticized, abused, etc. But i am quite confident in the way i am and ...
A. 25 May 2007: your post doesnt portray any trace of confidence to me. dont get me wrong if you are so confident about yourself what do you care about people's negativity towards you? i think if you allow their judgemental eyes to put you down like this i would ... (read in full...)
How can I break up with my married lover?
Q. what do i do? I am 25 and I love a married man that is 52, I know this situation is awful, but i love him so much, everytime i yell and fight with him saying its over and i cant do it anymore, within a few hours we are talking again, I know it is ...
A. 25 May 2007: hi mic
just walk away and dont turn. learn to ignore his calls and stop initiating any contact with him, if he doesnt want to stop threaten to tell his wife and believe me if its true you are ashamed of what you are doing you will do stop with... (read in full...)
We're both married and having an affair! Why should I act this stupid and why does he cheat? Any advice?
Q. The head tells you to leave a married man while the heart doesnt. I started an affairs since this May. We both married, he with 2 kids and I dont have any. We have been classmates (part time study)for 1 year and suddenly he wrote the mail a...
A. 25 May 2007: hello
i think the answer to why he cheat must be the answer you can give to why you cheat.
your circumstance is one of those that we have to listen to our heads not the heart. the heart doesnt have brain all it does is love love love or hate hat... (read in full...)
We were both alcoholics and I quit the habit for our child, and now he has too. I feel like an empty shell now and I'm wondering if it's possible for us to live together anymore.
Q. I have been married for eight years to a man that is an alcoholic. I partied with him daily until we decided to have children (we have two kids, a boy 5 and a girl 4) Our children came fast to us and there wasn't much time to adapt to our new lives ...
A. 25 May 2007: hello confused
i completely understand where you are coming from. i gues good things can happen when we least expect them. your husband refused to change for six long years finaly when you put your foot down he realised you had been serious all this... (read in full...)
I got drunk and he got very angry with me! I'm hurt and I refuse to call him! Any advice?
Q. Ok... I've been dating this guy for 2 months pretty heavily basically we would see each other 2-3 times a week and the rest of the days of the week we would have some kind of text whether call or text. I waited about 7 or 8 dates before I had sex ...
A. 24 May 2007: i totaly agree with all the aunts you must call this guy and apologise just make sure that you dont take a guilt trip and start to succumb to his demands. i dont know how much you know about this guy. honestly i hate to see a drunk person i have no ... (read in full...)
How can I make him see how much I care when all these issues are in the way and he lives an hour away!?
Q. Dear Everyone, Please give me an advice on what to do. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 1/2. Everything seemed to be fine up until few days ago, I did something really stupid, here's how the story goes: He has 2 daughters (1...
A. 23 May 2007: Dear lovergirl
Im really sorry next time make sure you send your text to the right recipients.
I think he does have rights to doubt your compassion towards him and daughters your text was cold, but to your friend it was gonna have a differen... (read in full...)
How can I make him see how much I care when all these issues are in the way and he lives an hour away!?
Q. Dear Everyone, Please give me an advice on what to do. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 1/2. Everything seemed to be fine up until few days ago, I did something really stupid, here's how the story goes: He has 2 daughters (1...
A. 23 May 2007: Dear lovergirl
Im really sorry next time make sure you send your text to the right recipients.
I think he does have rights to doubt your compassion towards him and daughters your text was cold, but to your friend it was gonna have a differen... (read in full...)
Is she using me ? I'm always there for her and we share cuddles etc, but shes texting other guys all the time and wont give us a shot!!
Q. So I met this girl about half a year or more ago, right off the bat I was attracted to her, but I snoozed too long and she started going out with one of my good friends. I became the relationship counselor for her and began to get to know her and ...
A. 23 May 2007: hi
i think you need to start pulling yourself together, you cant let something like these goon while you know what you exactly want with her. stop torturing yourself and learn to let go of this girl i dont think she is worth it. i know we dont choo... (read in full...)
He's treating me the same awful way he treated his ex! Is he cheating on me too?
Q. Before me and my boyfreind were together he would call me every day, txt me goodnite, send me sweet messages, compliment me, talk to me all the time. he has changed a lot since we have been officially together, he hardly ever calls me or does those ...
A. 23 May 2007: i hope u didnt think his cheating ways will end as soon as he leaves her for you right? once a cheater always a cheater and the worst part here you enjoyed it while he was giving you more attention, im so sure now the attention is on someoneelse as ... (read in full...)
Things were great for a year, but now his mother wont back off and now even ex girlfriends are in contact!! Help!!!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for about a year! In the beginning it was great and i couldn't be any happier. We did everything together we were insepartable. Then his mother got involved in our relationship then it just started going down hil...
A. 23 May 2007: i understand you dont want to just turn your back and leave, but sometimes leaving things like that its best thing we can ever do for our sanity. maybe games might work but what if they dont who will hurt more?
i always believe its better to get ... (read in full...)
He puts me down..I want to leave but I'm scared to. I need some good advice on how to deal with all this!
Q. i met my now husband when i was 15 and now been with him 13yrs.we have got threw many hard times together.ova the past few years though weve grown apart,i still love him with all my heart.the problem is that he has become very distant,possibly ...
A. 23 May 2007: HELLO
Im sorry about everything you are going through. i think DVI is onto something maybe its time you do something about this marriage because your situation has come to a point that if it doesnt stop you are gonna go crazy with it. so the choi... (read in full...)
Things were great for a year, but now his mother wont back off and now even ex girlfriends are in contact!! Help!!!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for about a year! In the beginning it was great and i couldn't be any happier. We did everything together we were insepartable. Then his mother got involved in our relationship then it just started going down hil...
A. 22 May 2007: sometimes in life things just change its either for the better or for worse and unfortunately yours is worse and the only favour you can do to yourself is to cut your looses and forget mama's boy. i think you have done enough, remember this is also ... (read in full...)
My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 15 May 2007: Hello Sarcy
im really sorry u have to go through what you are going through now. i understand you desperately wnat this man back, however you need to let him go. instead of contesting this divorce use this time to get closure. you can want a marr... (read in full...)
How can I get my ex to understand that his son doesn't want to see him???
Q. My ex-boyfriend has been harassing me, accusing me of not letting him see our young son. I broke up with him because he was always drunk and had poor hygiene. However, my son does not want to see him, and says "Daddy is a bad man!" "Bad daddy...
A. 14 May 2007: hi
first of all how old is your son? is this guy a bad father or he is just a heavy drinker with bad hygiene? the reason i am sking this its because i know there are some mothers who turns their children against their fathers they teach their chil... (read in full...)
My dad has taken control of my life and im sick of it!!!!
Q. So life has been pretty hard. I moved from public school where I was failing to a private school that then ran us dry of money to now distant learning. Along this choice of doing distant learning was because of my social life. For years I was ...
A. 14 May 2007: I am really sorry for what you are going thru. Sometimes life can be so hard that we might feel like no one understands what we are going through anymore. You are very lucky your mom understands and she is very supportive of you. Maybe your dad ... (read in full...)
Am I in a hurry to pursue a relationship or is this normal?
Q. Hi! I recently met a man on a dating site, he said that he would love to talk to me if I am interested then I said yes I am. We hit it off from there. I have been on the site for 4 months, he for one year and I was going over other sites, I found ...
A. 14 May 2007: i think two months is enough for you to pursue a relationship but as you cant be in a relationship alone he also need to feel the same way as you do. i dont know the distance between the two of you but if its in a closer vicinity you can arrange to ... (read in full...)
its either break up and never get back together or work it out.
Q. ive been hurt a lot in the past and once i was single i told my self i wasnt going to settle for less because i was sooo tired of being taken for granted. So 2 to 3 months later i found this really nice guy. A lot of my friends knew him and said ...
A. 14 May 2007: Hello dear
You can go anywhere you want hun. It’s all about choosing the right direction. I am sorry u feel the way you but its unnecessary to put yourself down like this believe me been there. What you need to understand is that people are not ... (read in full...)
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