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Is all completely fair in love and war?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Article - (18 April 2008) 2 Comments - (Newest, 21 April 2008)
A female South Africa, Jovial writes:

Hello there!

Why did someone came up with the words its all fair in love and war?

I told my friend my ex-colleague and friend was coming over for supper last Saturday night she said oh really I am so looking forward to meeting him is he married? I said no but he has a child in a committed relationship she said okay but anyway “its all fair in love and war” if we click I will not let him go its not like I am seeing anyone.

I had no words to say to her because she knew how I feel about breaking other couples up, I have had partners who cheated on me and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy it hurts finding out someone who told you is fully committed to you is sleeping with another woman.

I was so relieved when he cancelled in the afternoon because I didn’t know how I was going to react knowing what my friend was up to.

Honestly I was appalled by her suggestion because she didn’t care how awkward was that going to be for me all she wanted was to make a move. Was this fair making a move on a guy who is fully committed to someone else? If yes he happened to have some interest in her did she play fair to the other woman and their son?

If he happened not to be interested was she going to accept the fairness in his commitment to his girlfriend? So all in all what is exactly fair in this picture my friend painted?

Jovial

View related questions: cheated on me, move on, my ex

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A female reader, Jovial South Africa +, writes (21 April 2008):

Jovial is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Jovial agony auntHello

Good feedback guys.

Much appreciated

Jovial

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (20 April 2008):

eddie agony auntOften people only think about themselves. That is part of the problem that we find our world in today. It's the "me" syndrome. It sounds corny but the world would be such a better place if we thought a little more about others.

Reaching out to steal a person away from a relationship is a terrible thing to do. Of course it is often possible because we sometimes find ourselves at weak moments within the relationship. We are more vulnerable at certain times than others. At those time we can only hope that a person without integrity doesn't' come along, read the signs and make a move.

People who are not happy in their relationship status can not understand what true love feels like. It is not perfect but it is a peaceful. Since they are not experiencing the feeling, they do not understand pain they cause by disrupting it.

In the end, it is a very selfish thing to do. We do owe it to society to play fair. Fair is good. The alternative is not.

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