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... Send *ovial a private message | | | *ovial's profile:hi everyone
I am a woman in my early thirties.
I think what qualifies me is that I love helping people probably because I want to see everyone happy, I cant stand seeing people in pain I always try to find solutions to make them feel comfortable with their situations. I also like being around people socially especially kids are such a joy to spend time with.
All the responses I give are to be used as guidelines not AS-IS while making future decisions. Most of this responses I truly give based on an opinion and lessons learnt from past and present experiences. you are always welcome to pm me if you require my opinion i promise to respond objectively.
Jovial
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| Latest articles: Is it wise to excuse staying in an unhappy relationship by labeling it ‘Complicated’?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: So often we fall in love with someone who is not in love with us and chase after them that we fail to notice those who are chasing after us. Relationships are complicated so are we. Have u ever been asked how is it so far with your boyfriend? Are ...
Is all completely fair in love and war?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: Hello there! Why did someone came up with the words its all fair in love and war? I told my friend my ex-colleague and friend was coming over for supper last Saturday night she said oh really I am so looking forward to meeting him is he married? I...
I don’t know which one is worse space or let’s be friends?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 April 2008: Hello there! It starts with: “Baby we need to talk” - “I think I need a space” or “I think we should break-up”, “Don’t worry we can still be friends”……… OUCH! Dumpee “Honey why? I thought we were tight” Baby please!!! I don’t understand cant ...
Take courage and go back to the ring
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 May 2007: I was in the bus this morning when the two ladies were gossiping about a co-worker who is sleeping with her friend’s husband (who happens to be her boss) behind her back. The other one said “oh that woman is very crazy she thinks living it like that ...
When do you know its time to let go?
No replies yet... 10 May 2007: Few weeks ago a friend of mine found out her fiancée has a child by a girl from his neighborhood and all this were unknown to her, you can imagine the pain she felt, she was and still is heartbroken and perplexed by what the man she loved and ...
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My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 11 March 2008: Dear Sarcy
I am so happy the events of the weekend turned positively towards your ‘recovery’ I am so overjoyed that little by little you are getting over ‘it’ I like it when you refer to him that way. Just between you and me it feels good to take... (read in full...)
My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 10 March 2008: Sarcy
I am so glad you are on the right path to recovery pain is pain as long as you don’t let it destroy your spirit you will get over it.
It’s amazing how you discovered his current worth ‘a lawn mower’ hahaha! Like Tellulah said hire a hunk the... (read in full...)
My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 4 March 2008: Sarcy
I hope for this to be over very soon. You are in so much pain and u deserve some closure. I feel your pain whenever I read any of your postings. I am saddened by everything that is going on in your life especially because u seem to cont... (read in full...)
Should I suggest she leaves her lying boyfriend for me?
Q. Alright.. So I have been talking to this girl on and off for the past year now. Just like most people, she does not like to make decisions. She has been dating someone else(a real lying pos) for the last few months, but she still talks to me and ...
A. 28 February 2008: Well if you just wanna help her make up her mind i think u have done enough of that and now its time to back off and let her live her life. U arranged the meeting with exes i dont know why u thought that will make her choose you no woman in the ... (read in full...)
Should I suggest she leaves her lying boyfriend for me?
Q. Alright.. So I have been talking to this girl on and off for the past year now. Just like most people, she does not like to make decisions. She has been dating someone else(a real lying pos) for the last few months, but she still talks to me and ...
A. 27 February 2008: Hi
I think u need to allow her to make her own decisions making them for her will only hurt you as she will be against them. like she said she cant leave him for you it means she doesnt love you enough to leave her boyfriend so i think that is an e... (read in full...)
Should I or Shouldn't I???
Q. I recently met a great guy online. However he lives 1200 miles away. Anyhow, I was supposed to visit him few weeks ago and although he didn't know I had already booked a hotel. (he thought that I would stay with him cuz we do have mutual friends ...
A. 11 February 2008: I think just take it easy, everything you decide to do in this relationship be quotious, this guy is moving at a fast pace than you are. You had everything planned before u meet him and cotinue being you and do not let a new online relationship ... (read in full...)
Only 3 days ago I met a nice guy online, and I feel like risking my 3-year relationship for him! What should I do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 and a half years but about three days ago I met a guy on a chat line, he has been very nice to me and I started to get feelings for him. I love my boyfriend very much and don't believe in cheating but I ...
A. 7 February 2008: The chat site charmer might be really charming but the question you need to ask yourself is 'Is it worth it to build something for 3nhalf years and destroy it with a 3 days fling?
You dont know this guy but you do know your bofriend if you aint... (read in full...)
A girl with whom he had casual sex before we met recently gave birth to his baby, how can I dismiss my sadness to be able to accompany him in his joyous time?
Q. Ok...to start off, I don't think many people have gone through this but I really need help. here's the situation: Well, my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months now. We are really in love (I know it may seem soon but it's real). Well, we ...
A. 7 February 2008: Dear Anon
I am really really sorry. I understand perfectly what you are going through. You have chosen this route and all you can do is to try and make the best of an impossible situation. And that doesnt necessarly mean you got to be all smiles w... (read in full...)
How do I deal with his ex?
Q. I have a kind of complicated problem, but I'll try to shorten it up.... I am in a long distance relationship currently with an amazing guy. Problem is, I still feel threatened by his ex gf. We met in the summer while he was still dating her, and ...
A. 18 January 2008: Hi
I dont see why you should stress yourself about a guy who please other women on your account. He should be standing by you as his girlfriend. He doesnt defend your honor when he is supposed to, its like he is enjoying the circus as much as you ... (read in full...)
How can I be like everyone else?
Q. ok, i dont know where to start really. I am a 19 year old girl, perfect life at uni, perfect boyfriend. I should be so happy. I live with 4 lovley girls. However, i hate who i am. I know it sounds ridiculous. I know im quite a nice person but i don...
A. 18 January 2008: Hi
You need to stop feeling this insecure! you are your own person unique and wonderfully made. let me tell u something those people you want to be like they also wish they can be just like you crazy isnt it? so stop torturing yourself and focu... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity?
Q. i am 14 along with my boyfriend of 4 weeks. My boyfriend is not a virgin and lost it with a girlfriend of 5 months. i know that he had it very young and i have told him that i dont really mind. (he was worried that i would) i am still a virgin and i ...
A. 9 January 2008: You are still too young! the fact that loosing your virginity to him is so questionable its an indication that u are just not ready and believe me it will be far from special. enjoy your life doing what is legal for kids your age and stop thinking ... (read in full...)
What can I say to her?
Q. Im really scared aout my sister.. shes 16 and has recently had to go through having an abortion at 4 months..she didnt tell anyone apart from me..and i didnt want to annoy her so i didnt tell anyone Her and her boyfriend went to have the abortio...
A. 9 January 2008: Hi
Honestly I think you sister put you in a very difficult position yes she needed someone to talk and be glad she thought of you. Now what you can do is to be there for her as a brother continue to give her the support she needs, another thing you ... (read in full...)
Why do I have no self-respect?
Q. Why do i have no self respect for myself? Long story short.. Me and my ex byfriend went out for over a year..we never had sex and he broke up with me out of the blue. I was so upset and had no idea what to do! We recently have been back in co...
A. 9 January 2008: Hi
To gain self-respect look at the things that makes you find yourself out of control. i.e your drinking when you are drunk you do things you dont mean to do I would say stay away from alcohol. second behonest with yourself this boy he is afte... (read in full...)
How long do I wait for her to "find herself" before she is ready to committ? She says she knows I'm the one she is going to marry but needs time!
Q. I met this woman a year ago and she is the most incredible woman I have ever met. From the first moment I saw her she took my breath away and the first time we talked she amazed me. We met under circumstances that can only be explained as fate ...
A. 12 December 2007: Hi
I think you are on a tight leash here, I don’t know if what u think she feels is encouraged by what the people in her life says to you. Because you need to understand all of them have noticed how much you are into her but don’t understand why ... (read in full...)
Alcoholism, low self esteem, being obsessive over this relationship - these started when my relationship ended. Will I meet someone as amazing as my ex?
Q. My girlfriend ended things nicely (let me down easy) about 2 months ago. It was ambiguous if the relationship was over, she said she needed space. Through friendly emails and sporadic friendly phone calls, I became obsessed that there was still ...
A. 7 December 2007: Hi
For all the wrong decisions we take in life if there is no lesson learnt it wouldnt be life at all. unfortunately to realise the lesson its not an easy task first you need to admit your wrong doing so that you can find a wayforward. and I woul... (read in full...)
I know what I deserve and it's not to be "the other woman" or someone's "play thing..."
Q. Trying to keep this short, I was in a relationship with "Frank" for a while before it went down hill and he cheated, we split. We were the best of friends prior to dating and did our best to stay friends through everything. Over the past year we ...
A. 3 December 2007: Thats the spirit Citris. A person who just dissappears is not somebody u caould rely on anything because they never consider other people's feelings how their actions will affects them and this is another trait of immaturity.... (read in full...)
I know what I deserve and it's not to be "the other woman" or someone's "play thing..."
Q. Trying to keep this short, I was in a relationship with "Frank" for a while before it went down hill and he cheated, we split. We were the best of friends prior to dating and did our best to stay friends through everything. Over the past year we ...
A. 28 November 2007: Dear Citris
I always believe’ if it doesn’t feel right, it aint right’ Your relationship with this guy ended because he cheated on you I believe you can see this guy hasn’t changed a bit because he still fancy a relationship with you while he is w... (read in full...)
?She needs space what do I do?
Q. Hi there, my girlfriend for 5 months now needs space but she says she loves me. It's been about a week now and she texts me I do miss you. Why is that she told me that she needed to be single for a while and be on here own and she can't be my ...
A. 28 November 2007: Hi
I think your gf doesnt know what she wants because why would she text you telling you how much she misses you if she needs some space? You better put your foot down on this one. tell her how much her actions are confusing you, because you did ... (read in full...)
What is he saying?
Q. Why is he saying what he's saying? I broke up with my fiance a month ago, and told him to leave me alone, but just today he added me as a friend on myspace. I looked at his page, and it said he didn't have a girlfriend anymore and that he was free ...
A. 7 November 2007: Hi
I know it will be a bad idea to tell you never to look because you seem fragile and irritated by his behaviour and I think that is the cause of your curiosity. You were deeply hurt and when you sneak into his life you find him seemingly enjo... (read in full...)
His behavior is annoying and getting on my nerves.
Q. My boyfriend still talks to his ex. It bothers me and i confronted him, but he says that it is not what it seems. He says that their relationship is over. But, they talk and exchange txt messages constantly, and it makes me wonder: what could ...
A. 6 November 2007: Hi
If you are in a long distance relationship then how do you know about this constant messaging between them? Dont get me wrong I understand the dilema you are in if u can allow me to say that. But this people might be friends in some way u can ... (read in full...)
Why do our cultures teach boys that women who are sexually active are "damaged goods”?
Q. I have seen so many postings by men of all ages who are having problems dealing with the sexual past of their girlfriends or wives. As many of you know from reading my posts, I have been one of them. These teachings were figuratively beat into my ...
A. 31 October 2007: Hi
My comments maybe a bit irrelevant but I am sure they point out the root of the perception.
I think this is quite a discussion u are having here guys. I am a black woman in SA who was brought up in a community where if a woman/girl has a child ... (read in full...)
Why does love feel so far away from me?
Q. Why does love feel so far away from me? I think I'm fairly attractive, and I have reason to believe I'm sought after by atleast a couple of young ladies I know. But I've only ever had one girlfriend, in a long distance realtionship tha...
A. 29 October 2007: Hi
I am sorry things didn’t work out for you. What I can say is that do not concentrate on the hurtful ways of how your first love ended, concentrate on how much u were able to open your heart and believe in love and for that little moment it did ... (read in full...)
I want a baby but my mum would kill me!
Q. I want a baby but im only 15. I'm not sure if my bf wants one but i think he does but i no if i get pergent my mum would kill me so what should i do???...
A. 24 October 2007: Hi
Having a child may sound a bit cool but do u think will find it cool being borne to a 15yr old? who is still under her mother's care?
In my opinion you are still very young to consider having a baby. Having a child its a big step in anyone's... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend's girlfriend that I've been intimate and fell in love with the father of her children?
Q. I've known this guy for 4 years now. We met when his gf was pregnant with their first child. It really was quite instantaneous that we both realized that we really liked each other and had so much in common. But we kept things totally platonic, ...
A. 22 October 2007: Hi
I am sorry about this awkward situation you had put yourself in, the best thing is that you knew exactly where it might end. I seriously don’t think you must tell her what happened between the two of you. You managed to live a lie and I thin... (read in full...)
My love is getting divorced, getting back with her husband, taking a break... It keeps changing and I am heartbroken and lost
Q. OK here goes i am 26 and she is 26 ,i am about to spill my heart out for advice ,everything i am about to mention is the truth , some things have not been mentioned to protect the people involved however this is only about half of the things i would ...
A. 17 October 2007: Hello David
I dont think you should beat yourself down like this your life is not ruined you still have a lot to hope for but you will need to be strong and content to overcome a situation like this all love triangles are hard to crack. This girl... (read in full...)
After dating me for 4 months he says he is married! What should I do with him?
Q. My boyfriend just told me he is married after dating me for 4 months he said he didn't tell me because he did not want to lose me. He feels that if I knew I would leave him. What should I do with him. Keep him or throw him to the curb??...
A. 12 October 2007: Throw him to the curb. This guy is sick he said he didnt want to loose you which means this whole thing was about him never 'us' besides he is married which means he can never fully commit to you, if you keep him you will always be the other woman ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Big milestone..... over 300,000 unique visitors over the past month :-)
Q. Cool... Over the past month, from Sept 8th to Oct 9th we had over 300,000 unique visitors to the site! According to google analytics we had 302,516 visitors. It doesn't seem that long ago I was posting when we had passed 250,000 visitors/month. ...
A. 12 October 2007: Congratulations Andrew....and to all the Aunt's and Uncle's out there who are putting a lot of efforts to make this site be what it is today!!!
Jovial... (read in full...)
Sex and Relationships - How Kids Change Your Marriage and Sexual Relationship
Q. You know that your life will change after having a baby. However, you may have been surprised how your marriage relationship, as well as sex, changed after you became parents. Before you became parents, your marriage was probably much easier. Yo...
A. 12 October 2007: Thanx for a great article. I am not married but am a parent so is my partner so it is quite challenge and sometimes it feels like we are just not doing something right. so its good to know every parents goes through the same challenges.
Thanx agai... (read in full...)
I thought I'd found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and until recently I though he felt the same!
Q. I thought i had found the man i wanted to spend the rest of my life with and until a few weeks ago i though he felt the same. He said he shared the same as aspirations as me, marriage and kids in our future. He even took me to see a site he was ...
A. 10 October 2007: Hi
I am sorry about this whole thing, I am also perplexed by his sudden behavior. How can one plan ten years on the same job and sacrifice their relationships its still beyond me, however I know some men and women who also concentrate on their jobs... (read in full...)
Hi ex is still part of his family, how do I cope? Help?
Q. my bf says he loves me but his ex is still a part of his family how can i cope with this also there will be a family picnic this weekend if she is there what should i do ...
A. 9 October 2007: I dont know why girls we like to humiliate ourselves like this? what is she still doing with his family? cant she see having u around in this family picnic is what really matters to him no the other way round?
Girl you must go to that picnic and ... (read in full...)
Hi ex is still part of his family, how do I cope? Help?
Q. my bf says he loves me but his ex is still a part of his family how can i cope with this also there will be a family picnic this weekend if she is there what should i do ...
A. 9 October 2007: I dont know why girls we like to humiliate ourselves like this? what is she still doing with his family? cant she see having u around in this family picnic is what really matters to him no the other way round?
Girl you must go to that picnic and ... (read in full...)
He is treating me awful, should I leave him?
Q. Should I leave my boyfriend? He basically is treating me like crap, he ignores me, he never replies to my messages, he's selfish in everything he does.He wont pull his weight around the house and when i ask him to do anything he says he does eno...
A. 25 September 2007: I agree with DrPsych you already have all these questions that tells you your relationship is definitely not working out. you are not happy and he doesnt care so why stay with someone who doesnt care about how you feel? let alone ridicule your ... (read in full...)
My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 21 September 2007: Hi Sarcy I am so glad you finally washed away whatever feelings you had for this "husband", like your son said he is really a waste of space. I believe now you feel like an enormous weight had been lifted down your shoulders. It is really sad that... (read in full...)
We live with his parents! How can I get us out of his bedroom and into our own place?
Q. i wanted to buy a house not long ago and ive been with my boyfriend for over a year. we already live together but at his parents which i find we are always stuck in his bedroom. he's 23 and im 20 i feel like we're now at the point where we need to ...
A. 19 September 2007: Hi
I think u need to handle this very well because he seem to be very comfortable where he is right now. which means if you suggest moving out without thinking he might think you dont like his parents and he might feel like u are putting him in an a... (read in full...)
I'm missing him sooo much, so much so that when me and my partner do the deed it's as if I'm cheating on this other guy and I cry afterwards!
Q. Hi 4 years ago my partner and I met another couple (I was 18 and my partner 24) and the other couple (male 37 and female 28). At first I did not have feelings for the male of the couple but he soon started to make it clear that he had feelin...
A. 14 September 2007: Hello
I think the way you are going you are just keeping your partner because you cant have the other which is really unfair to your partner. in life we have choices and at some point we need to make a choice and i think you are in that stage wher... (read in full...)
She never wants to talk or even say please...
Q. I dont think I have ever really been happy in a realitionship.The one im with right now we were happy in the bigining but now she would rather watch tv then even sit and talk with me.Sometime I feel like im her bitch.Like She never asks me please or ...
A. 14 September 2007: Hello Winston
I wouldnt say you are whining because you are concerned about the situation you are encountering in this relationship. she is not giving you the attention you deserve and I know it really hurts to feel like an outsider or intruder in y... (read in full...)
She never wants to talk or even say please...
Q. I dont think I have ever really been happy in a realitionship.The one im with right now we were happy in the bigining but now she would rather watch tv then even sit and talk with me.Sometime I feel like im her bitch.Like She never asks me please or ...
A. 14 September 2007: Hello Winston
I wouldnt say you are whining because you are concerned about the situation you are encountering in this relationship. she is not giving you the attention you deserve and I know it really hurts to feel like an outsider or intruder in y... (read in full...)
He said he wants nothing serious, but now he's much more attentive, what does it mean?!
Q. I asked my boyfriend indirectly of course when we had been dating for three months where our relationship was going, he replied that he liked me, but was not sure if he wanted anything serious because he didnt know what he was going to do with his ...
A. 23 August 2007: Hello
I dont think your bf has any problems you should worry about in this situation i think you are the one who needs to sort herself out before you commit. you told your boyfriend exactly what you want and he reciprocated thats what you want... (read in full...)
He said that I was rich and was using me for that money and not my looks and my personality, and that really bugged me.
Q. I have never been on a date before, and I have never had a real boyfriend before. The last one I did have only lasted 2 weeks, and he said that I was rich and was using me for that money and not my looks and my personality, and that really bugged ...
A. 14 August 2007: Hello girl
I dont think you should worry about that idiot. the guy who loves you will not care about how much money you have but how much joy you had brought into his life. you just met the wrong one but that shouldnt bother you because you are stil... (read in full...)
We're considering marriage, am I right to let myself be bothered by his kids from a previous marriage?
Q. So, my boyfriend (10 years older) has two kids from when he knocked up his girlfriend (which he married) in highschool. They are now divorced, and she doesn't let him see them anymore but he still wants to send money and support them. We are co...
A. 26 June 2007: hi
im sorry i have to agree with eddie. this guy came to you with everything he has got and u accepted him which means kids included. if he finds out that is how you feel about his kids i dont think he will still consider marrying you, you seem so w... (read in full...)
I'm trying to hide who I really am to keep him while everything else seems hopeless
Q. I have abandonment issues which Im worried will eventually destroy my relationship..oh and I dont understand men. Ive just started seeing someone I adore, hes beautiful, so handsome sometimes Im shy to look at him. Hes kind, gentle and alway...
A. 26 June 2007: Hi
thanx for the feedback i wrote you a private message i hope u dont mind. feel free to send me one if u think u still need to some outlook.
Jovial... (read in full...)
I'm trying to hide who I really am to keep him while everything else seems hopeless
Q. I have abandonment issues which Im worried will eventually destroy my relationship..oh and I dont understand men. Ive just started seeing someone I adore, hes beautiful, so handsome sometimes Im shy to look at him. Hes kind, gentle and alway...
A. 25 June 2007: hi
firstly im really sorry you feel the way you do. im not professional but i think you do have some kind of pschological disorder visit your GP and im sure he will be able to refer you to someone who can truly help you. and sooner rather than late... (read in full...)
I told him to go; I wasn't serious but he really left!
Q. I have been with my bf for 2 1/2 years. we have spent everyday together over that time except a week over xmas.we never argue we are the best of friends and lovers we are so close. i have issues with my weight and i occasionally take it out on him ...
A. 22 June 2007: Hi
Am sorry dear. I think your bf was just waiting for you to say it’s over. And that’s what u did unfortunately he was so glad u said it he couldn’t wait to start packing. Now that he is out of your way start building your self esteem you can’... (read in full...)
My fiance says he'll dump me anytime he isn't getting his way
Q. what does one u do or should do when ur significant other sabotages the relationship to get it their way. i mean, my fiance threatens to break off the relationship when he doesn't get it his way, so i always give in for him. what can i do about ...
A. 22 June 2007: Hi
let me ask you this: how much longer do you think u can putup with his bullying attitude? because belive me it will not end here it will go on and on even when u are married. remember people dont change over night and when u are married you will... (read in full...)
I keep finding problems with my relationship; I feel like a drama queen!
Q. I keep falling into this bad pattern where I significantly endanger my relationship with my boyfriend to the extent that it's almost been over several [between 2 and 4 times, i think 2, within a yr] times. I've never made up drama for the sake of ...
A. 22 June 2007: hi
i dont know if im the right person to answer your question but kinda think i was once involved in a relationship that made feel like a drama queen. i felt naggy like i felt i was looking for problems were there aint any.
my ex was a quite sh... (read in full...)
My husband is with another woman but I want him back! What can I do to leave him alone and calm down? Help!
Q. Hi there, I wonder if anyone out there can give me some helpful advice. I have been married for 14 years and we have one son aged 10. My husband has always been a bit moody but has a City job and always worked very long hours. Since November...
A. 15 May 2007: Hello Sarcy
im really sorry u have to go through what you are going through now. i understand you desperately wnat this man back, however you need to let him go. instead of contesting this divorce use this time to get closure. you can want a marr... (read in full...)
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