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... Send *ovial a private message | | | *ovial's profile:hi everyone
I am a woman in my early thirties.
I think what qualifies me is that I love helping people probably because I want to see everyone happy, I cant stand seeing people in pain I always try to find solutions to make them feel comfortable with their situations. I also like being around people socially especially kids are such a joy to spend time with.
All the responses I give are to be used as guidelines not AS-IS while making future decisions. Most of this responses I truly give based on an opinion and lessons learnt from past and present experiences. you are always welcome to pm me if you require my opinion i promise to respond objectively.
Jovial
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| Latest articles: Is it wise to excuse staying in an unhappy relationship by labeling it ‘Complicated’?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: So often we fall in love with someone who is not in love with us and chase after them that we fail to notice those who are chasing after us. Relationships are complicated so are we. Have u ever been asked how is it so far with your boyfriend? Are ...
Is all completely fair in love and war?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: Hello there! Why did someone came up with the words its all fair in love and war? I told my friend my ex-colleague and friend was coming over for supper last Saturday night she said oh really I am so looking forward to meeting him is he married? I...
I don’t know which one is worse space or let’s be friends?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 April 2008: Hello there! It starts with: “Baby we need to talk” - “I think I need a space” or “I think we should break-up”, “Don’t worry we can still be friends”……… OUCH! Dumpee “Honey why? I thought we were tight” Baby please!!! I don’t understand cant ...
Take courage and go back to the ring
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 May 2007: I was in the bus this morning when the two ladies were gossiping about a co-worker who is sleeping with her friend’s husband (who happens to be her boss) behind her back. The other one said “oh that woman is very crazy she thinks living it like that ...
When do you know its time to let go?
No replies yet... 10 May 2007: Few weeks ago a friend of mine found out her fiancée has a child by a girl from his neighborhood and all this were unknown to her, you can imagine the pain she felt, she was and still is heartbroken and perplexed by what the man she loved and ...
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My fiancee was killed 7 years ago and I can't move on from the loss..any advice?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a major problem and I have no idea how to handle it. My fiance, the love of my life and very best friend was killed in a car accident 7 years ago. Since then I have moved on and have now been with a man that knew my fiancee ...
A. 19 January 2007: hi there
im glad we could help. just remember time and life are the best healers. keep pushing that pain and sadness away and one day you will move past it.
all the best... (read in full...)
How do I enlarge my penis size?
Q. i am looking for a way to make my dick bigger i am 22 and it is about 5-6 inches and i am looking but dont know what to do about it can u help me ?...
A. 8 December 2006: that is a normal size, know how to use it and all shall be well... (read in full...)
On/off relationship - we're off at the moment but I'm finding this time of year particually difficult to deal with...
Q. Been in an on/off relationship with the love of my life for almost exactly a year. We're off right now, and I'm pretty sure we're going to stay that way for a while, and I'm just about coping with it. But it was the 12th December 2005 that we first ...
A. 8 December 2006: hi there
i think u need to start making peace with urself and help urself believe that as long as u and ur partner are not willing to work things out its time to make a decision which is good for u. on&off relationship are very unnerving bcos u dont... (read in full...)
He says it doesn't matter now
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now we have had or ups and downs . A low blow came last year when i found that im unable to have children . Now he says it doesn't matter and it didn't to me untill last couple months now i want them how ...
A. 8 December 2006: i agree with the previous writer, i think what u need is counseling as well, a puppy is a puppy not a child there is a huge difference between the two i just want u to be real and be able to face this rationally, find out about foster care, adoption ... (read in full...)
He asked me out with him and his friend - good sign he is single?
Q. There is this guy that i like and he asked me to go to the movies with him and his buddy. Well i would like to know since he asked me to go to the movies is that a good sign that he doesnt have a girlfriend? ...
A. 8 December 2006: the only way to know he is single is by asking him or his buddy, bcos cheaters do ask so many women out at the same time so u cant tell by that. he might be single relax and go out thats what dates are for to get to know each other lets hope he will ... (read in full...)
What are the signs you're in love?
Q. well i was just wondering how do u know when ur in love???...
A. 8 December 2006: this is a natural, the most exciting and confusing feeling u have ever felt for someone, just dont confuse it with lust, when u are in lust u have a huge burning sexual feeling for someone and once u get them in bed its over, with love is different ... (read in full...)
I don't think he feels the same by his actions but should I tell him how I feel???
Q. I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years. It's strictly a friends with bennies and we only see each other about once a month because we live a distance from each other. I have fallen for this guy and don't know how to handle it. He ...
A. 6 December 2006: i think it will only be fair to u if u tell him, but tell him physically so that u can be able to read his body language. ... (read in full...)
How can I focus my mental energy without taking on hobbies???
Q. What are some ways to focus your mental energy away from thinking about someone? I'm not looking for things to do e.g hobbies or stuff like that but rather ways to stop spending time looping on useless thoughts whilst doing things....
A. 6 December 2006: i dont know if there is a right way to answer ur question lets hope this will work. i gez u need to build positive images and thought in your mind thats the only way to go. even if u dont want hobbies and hanging out with friends kinda advice but ... (read in full...)
Mom is marrying a bad guy who drinks! I'm scared he'll hurt her...what can I do?
Q. im kinda scared cuz my mom is getting married to this guy that is not my dad.and this guy has tried to like kill her 4 times cuz of drinking.but he seems better and now their gonna get married and im scared cuz sometimes i think hes gonna do it ...
A. 6 December 2006: i agree with aunt frank, u need to accept that things didnt work out between ur parents, unfortunately ur mother is choosing the wrong path trying to move on, maybe moving to ur fathers w be good for u. one thing u must understand is that abused w... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is taking me for granted and possibly cheating on the internet. Should I dump him?
Q. I think my boyfriend is taking me for granted and possibly cheating on the internet. I don't have any proof, just a gut feeling. He doesn't live in the same state as I do, so we only see one another on week-ends. He is great when we are together. ...
A. 6 December 2006: hello there i would say u are worrying too much, but im not sure if u do call him or just waiting to hear from him, did u try and ask him why he doesnt call often or u thought he will gez or he will know he suppose to? not all people have romatic ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid the guy I'm seeing will go back w/ his ex during his break from school!
Q. I've been seeing this guy for a year now. We're both in college and he goes to school in Baltimore while im still here in Chicago. When he's home for breaks we're always together and get along great. Yet when he's away sometimes we lose touch and ...
A. 6 December 2006: i dont think sleeping with him has anything to do with this. i think the problem here is that u were very hopeful things will work out between the two of u, unfortunately u are not sure if his spending time with u means love or just hanging out, ... (read in full...)
I think my new BF still likes his ex!
Q. hey i have a big problem! well there's this guy that i'm kind of going out with. He just recently broke up with his ex-girlfriend not too long ago and then he came to me and we're going out. Well the thing is that i don't know the real story on how ...
A. 6 December 2006: hi there
i think u need to make peace with that, maybe in that 7mths they built up a friendship as well and they had a very civil break-up im sure u are still in good terms with some of ur exs, as long as he doesnt cross the line and she doesnt make... (read in full...)
He can't decide if he wants to go to England or stay with me!
Q. Dear Cupid, please.I need help.I love this guy so much.But he just told me that he will be going to england next year.I might not be able to see him.He say its his choice, his decision.but the only reason why he stayed back was because he loves me...
A. 6 December 2006: hi there
i think he said he loves u bcos he does, how u can love him is up to u, but its better to make-up ur mind whether u want to love him or just be with him, as u cant tell how much a person love u so that u can love less, i dont think u are ... (read in full...)
How do you recapture the fun in a relationship that seems to have gotten lost?
Q. how do you recapture the fun in a relationship that seems to have lost it, assuming you're both still very in love, but maybe assume only one person is willing to make much of an effort, b/c the other believes relationships shouldn't be work, they ...
A. 6 December 2006: hi there
its a good thing u are willing to recapture the fire and fun u once had unfortunately this is something u cant do on ur own, u and ur partner seem to have different views about relationships its true relationship doesnt have to be a work... (read in full...)
Do I keep allowing my small son's, neglectful, slacker father in his life or stop it altogether?
Q. Hi, I am new to this site and i have joined because i really need some advice from someone impartial (unlike my mother!) my second child is going to be 3 in february and he has a different father from my first child. unfortunately i thought his fath...
A. 5 December 2006: hi there
it is very explosive as u may say, but nothing one can handle right? im sorry about ur situation, unfortunately i dont think even if u try to put a stop on it now it will definitely end there is too much emotional scars and bruises incu... (read in full...)
How can I prevent my 14 yr old son resenting my new boyfriend?
Q. how can i prevent my 14 yr old son resenting my new boyfriend?...
A. 5 December 2006: hi there
there is no straight answer to this kind of question as sometimes u can take all the precautions and its still occurs or sometimes u just dont see it coming. what u can do is that consider his feelings first bfore u introduce ur bf to him ... (read in full...)
How do you teach respect?
Q. I have a 12 years old boy who is on the whole a good boy, attending good school and doing ok. He is for sometime now very rude to us especially towards his dad. He swears at him and treats him with utmost disrespect. My husband tried to be kind and ...
A. 5 December 2006: hi there
sometimes a 12yr old can really be a handful most of all annoying, at this age he wants to feel that he is the man and no one tells him what to do, thats why he is disrespectful and rude towards his father and loving towards u, maybe he s... (read in full...)
I'm 18, he's 28. What can I say to reassure my mum that it's okay?
Q. Hey, I have a quite difficult situation at the moment. I split with my boyfriend of 3 years nearly a month ago and i have been seeing this guy over the past 10 days who i really like. The only thing is, im 18 and he is 28. He is such a genuine ...
A. 5 December 2006: hi there
maybe u can start by being completely honest with her it will help her realize how much this guy mean to u although it is too soon to say the least, sometimes mothers can detect a bad guy for their daughters from a distant he might have... (read in full...)
He seems to be getting more moody
Q. I am involved with a man who is widowed. It will be a year 12/30/2006 that she passed away of cancer. He waited 6 months before dating and did so online. The first girl he only went out with a couple of weeks. We have now been together 3 months. ...
A. 5 December 2006: im very sorry about what u are going thru given the circumstances. after a death of a spouse naturally it become impossible to mourn them u dont know if it is enough to move on or forget, this guy gave himself 6mths which according to him he thought ... (read in full...)
How can we stop bumping heads?
Q. i have been with this beautiful girl for a year. she listen to me, shes kind, her family likes me, we have a great sex life , shes funny but we constantly bump heads. Shes very emotional and sensitive, its hard not making her sad, i really try but ...
A. 5 December 2006: i think if she does listen to u and its still not working maybe its time you start listening as well, otherwise u will keep blameing her character while it takes two. talking sometimes is not enough in situation like this find resolutions and apply ... (read in full...)
She says she is fearful to continue this relationship because I don't own my own house.
Q. I have been dating this girl for a couple of months and things have progressed very slowly (which is fine) She is pretty shy so I never pushed her outside of her "comfort zone" until tonight. Some years ago I went through a divorce which left me ...
A. 5 December 2006: hi there
im sorry about what is happening in your relationship, my guess is u dont deserve someone like her, i think the house or condo thing is just her way of breaking up with u. u have come a long way to allow this as a set back, try to forg... (read in full...)
I am 13. Is it ok to date a 16 yo?
Q. is going out with a 16 year old guy weird.if im only 13?...
A. 5 December 2006: Its okay but not right bcos at 13 its better to date boys your age they will understand u better than a 16yr old will. at 16 there is too much pressure and competition is too tough so he might expect more than u can freely give which will just ... (read in full...)
Mum doesn't care about me. She doesn't even know I'm depressed!
Q. I've been VERY depressed lately. I've been in my room for three days and haven't gone anywhere. I know this is nasty but I haven't even showered. My mom is downstairs in front of the computer all day and has never asked me what's wrong. She just ...
A. 4 December 2006: I totally agree with aunt martini, in life u need to learn to be self reliant thats how u can survive in this world. lets say ur mom is being the way she is bcos as u say she doesnt care lets say that is true so what are u going to do about? do you ... (read in full...)
We were dating, but now he has a new GF and says he hates me - I did nothing wrong!
Q. I was best friends with a guy for about a year until we started dating and we grew extremely close over the time that we were dating. He, however, had to move away due to the death of his mother and it became rare that I saw him. Hearing things from ...
A. 4 December 2006: hi there
i believe ur ex is very immature and inconsiderate, bcos whether or not he is puting a front for his new gf thats not the way to treat an ex regardless of the friendship u had bfore u dated. to say he hates u its probably his way of push... (read in full...)
Her breaking up with her BF was the best thing, but now my friend's devastated and I want to help...
Q. Today I got a text from my friend. She hardly texts me, but today she told me to go to her house for the first time. I got worried so forgot about my plans and went to hers. I went into her room and she was crying. She was really upset. She said her ...
A. 16 November 2006: i really admire ur courage to help ur friend, she really needed u and u were there i think what u need to do is to keep being there for her when she need u, let her know that she tried what she can to make this work but it was just not meant to be, ... (read in full...)
Is my husband really "just friends" with his ex?
Q. Before I married my husband, he had a seven year reletionship with an older woman. Now they talk on the phone often enough(at least once a week)and for twenty-thirty minutes at the time. My husband says that they are just plain friends, but I feel t...
A. 16 November 2006: i think u need to relax and enjoy ur marriage, many couples break-up and remain friends, i think this is maintained by the friendship they had while dating, usually even when they break-up they are very civil about it and no hard feelings sustained ... (read in full...)
I want her so bad but she's with another guy! What should I do?
Q. Dear Doctor, My name is Steve from Nigeria.I found your Email through Google.And i think you could be of help to my situation.I am confused and afraid of myself.This is my story, I fell in love with this girl that I met a month ago and I love h...
A. 15 November 2006: hi steve
u need to slow down bcos its like u are obsessed with this girl than being inlove with her, u are not letting nature take its cause remember love comes naturally u dont have to hurt urself or do things irrationally to please ur part... (read in full...)
My planned trip away has her talking negatively about our relationship! How do I get her to stop doing this?
Q. hello, im 26 iv been with my girlfriend (22) for a year and a half. Recently i told her i was going away for over a year, and she's coming to see me for a few months at least. Now she wont stop going on about it, i dont want to sound selfish ...
A. 15 November 2006: i think her reaction is expected under the circumstances try putting urself in her shoes and u will understand why she is like this, u are the one leaving and u are excited about ur new found adventure and she knows even though is not forever she ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I am not ready for sex?
Q. im 19 and a virgin ive been seeing this guy for 3 months now and im really shy how do i tell him im not ready for sex just yet without completely destroying him, i mean is there any nice way to put it...
A. 15 November 2006: just let him down gently and tell him ur reasons if he wants this to work he will respect ur wishes and wait until u are ready, dont keep quite for too long as he cant read ur mind. another thing is that he might not be the only one destroyed by ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for asking what my girlfriend will be doing?
Q. Hello. Here's the story, My girlfriend told me that she wouldn't be seeing my the next night after I get off from work. I asked her why and she said she'd be busy. I merely asked what she was going to be doing and she gets mad and tells me that it ...
A. 15 November 2006: i dont think its wrong to want to know where ur signaficant other is upto, but the way the question is being asked might reveal a lot, maybe ur tone changed and she felt like being controlled, and all she wanted was just some time for herself, and ... (read in full...)
I'm not physically attracted to my wife like I used to be!!!
Q. I am not physically attracted to my wife like I used to be. Is there hope for restoring physical attractiveness? My wife and I have been married almost 5 years. We are both around 40. We have only had intercourse eleven times this year. I am...
A. 15 November 2006: i agree with the other aunts u need to lead by example.
i dont know if u guys have any kids, what i would like to add is this during pregnancy and after childbirth the women's body changes and if she is not cautios about it, she can gain a lot of w... (read in full...)
My boyfriends ex-wife is still calling him up all the time and it's upsetting me!
Q. Hello, I would like some advice about ways to deal with my boyfriends ex-wife. She filed for divorce and has regretted it ever since. They have been divorced for two years now. They have two boys together (8 and 5). My boyfriend and I have bee...
A. 14 November 2006: girl i think u need to start building a meachanism of ur own act like she doesnt bother u at all help ur boyfriend to organise himself maybe use a day planner so that whenever she claims to have forgotten everything is prepared for her but never ... (read in full...)
Bf broke up with me and now..he thinks I tried to get people to beat him up! Not true..what do I do now?
Q. hi my bf just broke up with me and he is accusing me of trying to get some people to beat him up. and i didnt and i love him and i still want to be friends? what do i do??...
A. 14 November 2006: i think its time to cut all ties with him, bcos its not good if a person u claim to love can accuse u of this malicious act. he doesnt even trust u anymore, he despises u, forget him and his allegations and move on, if this persists maybe u must ask ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with them both and don't know what to do. Help!
Q. I am torn between my gf and my ex. I would like to get back with my ex, but am still madly in love with my gf. There are days when all I can think about is my ex and would give up everything for her, but other days, all I think about is my gf. Me ...
A. 13 November 2006: hello there
i think what u need is to figure out what u want and what u need in a realtionship as reality goes u cant have it all, after u have figured that out answer another question again: what u are looking for? do u want a relationship that... (read in full...)
How can I feel better about myself? I am so unhappy, yet he walks around all smug.
Q. please help me.. im losing it. Im sat at my desk at my office crying and dont know who else to turn to. I was seeing a guy at work for about a year but we have now split up. He has a girlfriend who he has been with for 3 years. i know it was awful ...
A. 13 November 2006: you go girllllll, ... (read in full...)
We scream and swear at each other during fights! What can be done?
Q. Hi.. I'm engaged to a a guy I've been with for about 3 years. Our relationship is good except we have these blow up fights sometimes where we'll scream at eachother and swear, I know it's wrong to take it to that level, but sometimes he jus...
A. 13 November 2006: hi, i think u guys have the same personality trait thats why u cant really get on until one of u backs down u wont settle ur differences thats why u end up screaming and swearing, what u need to do now is to sit him down and discuss this outburst ... (read in full...)
JUst broke up..so how long do I wait before dating another guy?
Q. i just broke up with my bf. im fine with it, but i was wondering how longi should wait before i start dating another guy. i really like this guy but i dont want 2 hurt my ex-bf's feelings. how long should i wait before dating this other guy?...
A. 13 November 2006: hello there,
there is no period a person should take to start dating again its up to u and i dont think u should worry about ur ex bcos breaking up means u guys had parted ways and what u do is ur business not his. just make sure u dont want the ... (read in full...)
My fiancee was killed 7 years ago and I can't move on from the loss..any advice?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a major problem and I have no idea how to handle it. My fiance, the love of my life and very best friend was killed in a car accident 7 years ago. Since then I have moved on and have now been with a man that knew my fiancee ...
A. 13 November 2006: hello,
I am sorry about ur fiancé. I think u need to start believing that u have moved past that as healing comes from within, u need to allow urself to grief as much as u can it is good for u and it is the best therapy in the whole universe. Do n... (read in full...)
How can I feel better about myself? I am so unhappy, yet he walks around all smug.
Q. please help me.. im losing it. Im sat at my desk at my office crying and dont know who else to turn to. I was seeing a guy at work for about a year but we have now split up. He has a girlfriend who he has been with for 3 years. i know it was awful ...
A. 9 November 2006: hi
u loved him and it wasn t worth it so its time to accept u had it with a player who is good at his game but remember not all good players always wins, i think this one is winning bcos u have given him all the opportunities and ammunition and u le... (read in full...)
My friend's wife had a nervous breakdown. How can I make sure my gf doesn't have the same problem? I plan to propose.
Q. A friend of mine has been married to his wife now for 13 years and last month I found out she had a nervous breakdown. I've been seeing my gf for 5 years now so how do I make sure that the women I love (i'm proposing to her on her birthday next ...
A. 9 November 2006: hello there,
i dont see why u should be worried bcos a nervous breakdown happens only when a person is under excessive stress in their lives and we all know this can be caused by work, family or anything that is making a person to perform under a lo... (read in full...)
Now that we're together he doesn't seem to have any time for me but he did when we were friends!
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been with my bf for 2 weeks now, we've both liked each other for ages and only just got together. But I feel like I saw more of him when we weren't together, I haven't seen him out of school at all since our first date and he neve...
A. 9 November 2006: hello
i think thats a million dollar question i would like to believe most women have the same question as you bcos i do, its when a guy tells u he likes and u tell him u cant have a relationship until he stops drinking heavily nad u know what he w... (read in full...)
My ex invited me to a family party. Is there a chance for us?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up almost 4 months ago now but we still remain friends and still love each other very much. He's invitied me to a family party this weekend for the first time since we broke up. Could this be a slight indication that he's ...
A. 8 November 2006: hello
maybe he is coming around but i wouldnt be too sure so leave a room for disapointment. it can be he asked u bcos his family knows about u and he is doesnt know how to tell them u guys are not together anymore (if u were formerly intr... (read in full...)
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