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... Send *ovial a private message | | | *ovial's profile:hi everyone
I am a woman in my early thirties.
I think what qualifies me is that I love helping people probably because I want to see everyone happy, I cant stand seeing people in pain I always try to find solutions to make them feel comfortable with their situations. I also like being around people socially especially kids are such a joy to spend time with.
All the responses I give are to be used as guidelines not AS-IS while making future decisions. Most of this responses I truly give based on an opinion and lessons learnt from past and present experiences. you are always welcome to pm me if you require my opinion i promise to respond objectively.
Jovial
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| Latest articles: Is it wise to excuse staying in an unhappy relationship by labeling it ‘Complicated’?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: So often we fall in love with someone who is not in love with us and chase after them that we fail to notice those who are chasing after us. Relationships are complicated so are we. Have u ever been asked how is it so far with your boyfriend? Are ...
Is all completely fair in love and war?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: Hello there! Why did someone came up with the words its all fair in love and war? I told my friend my ex-colleague and friend was coming over for supper last Saturday night she said oh really I am so looking forward to meeting him is he married? I...
I don’t know which one is worse space or let’s be friends?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 April 2008: Hello there! It starts with: “Baby we need to talk” - “I think I need a space” or “I think we should break-up”, “Don’t worry we can still be friends”……… OUCH! Dumpee “Honey why? I thought we were tight” Baby please!!! I don’t understand cant ...
Take courage and go back to the ring
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 May 2007: I was in the bus this morning when the two ladies were gossiping about a co-worker who is sleeping with her friend’s husband (who happens to be her boss) behind her back. The other one said “oh that woman is very crazy she thinks living it like that ...
When do you know its time to let go?
No replies yet... 10 May 2007: Few weeks ago a friend of mine found out her fiancée has a child by a girl from his neighborhood and all this were unknown to her, you can imagine the pain she felt, she was and still is heartbroken and perplexed by what the man she loved and ...
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My ex invited me to a family party. Is there a chance for us?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up almost 4 months ago now but we still remain friends and still love each other very much. He's invitied me to a family party this weekend for the first time since we broke up. Could this be a slight indication that he's ...
A. 8 November 2006: hello
maybe he is coming around but i wouldnt be too sure so leave a room for disapointment. it can be he asked u bcos his family knows about u and he is doesnt know how to tell them u guys are not together anymore (if u were formerly intr... (read in full...)
I want to know about my partner's past, but she refuses to tell me! Am I being unfair?
Q. My girlfriend is 6 years older than me (29). She is a very decent,church-going girl, she has even been a virgin till we met (2 years ago). Thing is she told me recently that she hasnt always been like this, that in her younger age (19-25) she ...
A. 8 November 2006: hello
i do understand how u feel, but what i can tell u is that let bygones be bygones because somethings are better not known especially things from our past. you said u are curious to know this bcos u can see its killing her inside this is bcos... (read in full...)
Do I keep hoping we'll get back together or should I give up?
Q. Hi I’d been in a long distance relationship with a guy for about 10 months everything was going ok and we used to see each other every month then about 2-3 months ago we started continuously fighting and I always wanted to sort out the problems but ...
A. 8 November 2006: hi
I think ur bf just cant make-up his mind and wants to blame everything on u unfortunately thats how insensitive some partners can be during a break-up. u need to start getting ur life back together focus on urself its not gonna be easy but its ... (read in full...)
I get sick thinking how he was married before me! How do I get over this?
Q. Help! My partner is 30, and seperated. They were married for 4 years, together 8, and he left her for me. It sounds like they weren't very compatible, and he just got carried along with things. Our relationship is secure, 2 years down the l...
A. 8 November 2006: hi there,
i think u need to make peace with the fact that if u marry him ur marriage will always be the second marriage but that it is not suppose to bother u bcos u knew when u met that he was married and he left his wife for u which means he love... (read in full...)
My guy friend took advantage when I was drunk..we had sex! Do I tell my fiancee?
Q. Ok, this is really awkward. I'm getting married in August and I love my other half. Our sex life is not brilliant, when it happens it's great it just doesn't happen very often. I suppose I have to say that as an intro but maybe I'm excusing mys...
A. 7 November 2006: hi there,
this is really a very delicate issue which needs a lot of wisdom to resolve. i think u need to calm urself down and take some responsibility in this case getting drunk and lost control, however im of a different opinion all other aunt... (read in full...)
My BF of 2 years brought up all these issues last night that I didn't know we had...help!
Q. I am feeling devastated. My bf of two years all of a sudden yesterday went into this massive low and then revealed he thinks he doesn't make me happy (which couldn't be further from the truth), and that he has from time to time worried about things ...
A. 7 November 2006: I am sorry for giving two similar responds, whe I sent the first one i lost connection and thought it didnt go thru as it wasnt there even in the afternoon so i decided to write again i hope i didnt confuse u.... (read in full...)
My BF of 2 years brought up all these issues last night that I didn't know we had...help!
Q. I am feeling devastated. My bf of two years all of a sudden yesterday went into this massive low and then revealed he thinks he doesn't make me happy (which couldn't be further from the truth), and that he has from time to time worried about things ...
A. 6 November 2006: Hi there,
u must be grateful to have a bf who can openly communicate things like this with u, now everything is out in the open what u need to do is resolve this issues b4 they grow into problems. I think the reason he brought this up is bcos he c... (read in full...)
My BF of 2 years brought up all these issues last night that I didn't know we had...help!
Q. I am feeling devastated. My bf of two years all of a sudden yesterday went into this massive low and then revealed he thinks he doesn't make me happy (which couldn't be further from the truth), and that he has from time to time worried about things ...
A. 6 November 2006: Hi there,
I think u should be greatful that ur bf has brought up issues that u were aware of even though u were just brushing them off bcos u had a fantasy of having an unbreakable relationship, maybe he had the same fantasy as well thats why for ... (read in full...)
Would it be wise for me to move in with my bf and his friend?
Q. My boyfriend is refusing to ask his friend to leave the house they share. He has said that i can move in with them. Is this wise?...
A. 3 November 2006: Hi,
Personally intimately i dont think its wise, u and ur boyfriend will need some privacy or time alone at times and how are u gonna accomplish that if he is in ur space? Ur bf need to decide if he rilly need u to move in as he cant have both u un... (read in full...)
My perfect girlfriend, but I just don't feel I'm ready for marriage!
Q. Hi everyone, I have been in a relationship with a wonderful girl for the past four years. She was working as receptionist at an office I was working at when we met. The first 2 or so years were absolutely wonderful. We thought we were in...
A. 3 November 2006: Hi there
"I also know that if we broke up, it would probably give me time to get my head together, and would really put things into perspective and then I might really be able to find out if its meant to be. But I know that would meant I would risk... (read in full...)
I'm 34 and don't know how to tell this girl I like her!
Q. There's this girl whom I work with. I'm kinda sweet on her and I think the feeling may be mutual. She is always way more friendly to me than most. Always laughs at my jokes. Sometimes I detect she's a little nearvous around me in a cute way. She...
A. 3 November 2006: There is only one way to find out, why dont u ask her out and tell it like it is. because if u try doing something without her knowledge she might not understand even though ur intetions were good and u might end up in trouble.
at ur age i dont thin... (read in full...)
Am I a slut, like my friends say, because I've been hurt in relationships before and don't want one again?
Q. I dont like relationshipss, I like being single and to just fool around with guys. I guess ive just been hurt in all my relationships that I just dont want to get hurt again soo.. i fool around with random guys my friends say Im a slut?? is th...
A. 3 November 2006: I think slut is a strong word to use i think ur friend used it to discourage u but still u are in denial, the pain and rejection u felt from the failed relationship has messed up ur mind big time and now u are acting up, the question is how is ... (read in full...)
Brotherly love
Q. I have been involved in a sexual relationship with my younger brother for nearly twenty years now. We first had sex when he was twelve and I sixteen. I became pregnant with his child and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Unsure as to what I should ...
A. 3 November 2006: Hi
I believe u are based in south africa, and according to their marriage act I am not so sure if this union can be legalised you can visit www.polity.org.za and view all the marriage bills if u havent done that.I dont know how to say this with... (read in full...)
Are very long distance relationships possible? I'd like to hear some success stories from people!
Q. Just wondering, how many people here have success stories regarding HUGE distances (like different countries)? Is it even possible?...
A. 2 November 2006: i think hannie gave u a very good response and i just want to add onto it, i had a not so ldr compared to u as it was just six hrs drive but it didnt work out because when i look at it now i think there was lack of trust and a lot of insecurities my ... (read in full...)
How can I make it work with my ex?
Q. Please help me, I really don't know what to do... My boyfriend and I were together for two years, we lived together, traveled together, planned a future together, but I couldn't deal with his anger issues and asked him to move out. He still wanted ...
A. 2 November 2006: hi there
Coffee sound good but take this into consideration, if i understood well u guys seem very different and incompatible, i will tell u y, u are possesive and he is short tempered so that mix is no good which means if u find ur way to each othe... (read in full...)
Do I tell her or wait or wait for an exs cousin to tell her??
Q. My mother had my ex boyfriend arrested when I was 16. He was 20. He was mad at me for a little while for her finding out. I live with my grandmother nad I still sneak around just to see him. My birthday is in 12 days and I won't have to worry about ...
A. 31 October 2006: Soory for mixing up responses i dont know wat went wrong, this is ur response:
Dear redneckgirl16971
Ever wondered why we feel irritated when someone interferes in our life? Whether it is good or bad we normally don’t care. The cause of this is... (read in full...)
Can anyone give any tips on coping with failed relationships?
Q. Can anyone give any tips on coping with failed relationships? I am a 33 year old attractive and intelligent woman, who has (unfortunately) had the worst luck when it comes to relationships. I've been broken hearted more times that I care to rememb...
A. 31 October 2006: I gez if love is not there by now it is not so leave him. and I also think maybe two mths break was too little take some time off it will help u not to fall on this trap again, all of us deserve to be happy regardless of bad choices we made in our ... (read in full...)
What have I done wrong??
Q. Hello Just looking for some realistic and professional advice to my problem. If you can provide me with a solution(s) then it will be very much appreciated, thank you. I am a 41 year old male. My situation is very unique and complex to me bu...
A. 31 October 2006: Hi tminus
I agree with the other readers personally you did something wrong but on the other hand it was a good thing you gave her so much attention u had built ur emotions and everything around her that u focussed on making her forget her trou... (read in full...)
Do I tell her or wait or wait for an exs cousin to tell her??
Q. My mother had my ex boyfriend arrested when I was 16. He was 20. He was mad at me for a little while for her finding out. I live with my grandmother nad I still sneak around just to see him. My birthday is in 12 days and I won't have to worry about ...
A. 31 October 2006: I am sorry that u had it so bad in your past but the question is do you want your past to over shadow your present as well as your future? I h’ been there I lived and breathed what u are talking about so Im not going to give u theory but a real ... (read in full...)
Started an affair with my husband's brother...
Q. I got married 2 months ago to a man I had been living with for 2 years previously. My husband is a wonderful man who I truly love but unfortunately our sex life has never been fantastic. However I thought this was not important as we get on so ...
A. 31 October 2006: Hi
I just wish u had been caught already, women like you are the one who gives us a bad name. Someone out there wishes to have a husband like yours bcos she ended up with one like ur brother inlaw. And you are just there playing him you should be a... (read in full...)
My bf hates my family! What should I do?
Q. my boyfriend seems to hate my family and is really against them. i really love him and want him to love them back. what should i do? please help me...
A. 31 October 2006: I agree with anon, you must end the relationship because you will always be bothered by this and sooner or later it will divide you, Why he can hate your family and love you its beyond me, I dont think he does love dearly. Did you ask him why he ... (read in full...)
Can anyone give any tips on coping with failed relationships?
Q. Can anyone give any tips on coping with failed relationships? I am a 33 year old attractive and intelligent woman, who has (unfortunately) had the worst luck when it comes to relationships. I've been broken hearted more times that I care to rememb...
A. 31 October 2006: I am sorry that u had it so bad in your past but the question is do you want your past to over shadow your present as well as your future? I h’ been there I lived and breathed what u are talking about so Im not going to give u theory but a real ... (read in full...)
Once we slept together, he wouldn't answer his phone. But I still like him so how can I tell him?
Q. I met a guy a few months ago and i slept with him, but once we slept together we lost contact for a bit and he wouldnt answer his phone to me or anything, then a few weeks ago i bumped into him again and we got chatting again. I still really like ...
A. 31 October 2006: The only way you can find out is by talking to him tell him how you feel. I know as a shy person is not gonna be easy for both of you to open up but neither of you can read minds so open up. Say it casually so that he doesn’t feel pressured.
A... (read in full...)
Don't get on with my mom, she found my diary about this
Q. I really dont get on with my mum. so i started to keep a diary of the way i felt. today she found the diary, and she left home. I feel bad, but the diary kept my feelings under control. Did i do the wrong thing by keeping it?...
A. 30 October 2006: I dont think keeping the diary is the problem, the problem is that u never told her how u feel and probably she think u really hate her because instead of confiding in her u chose the diary. Try to deal with this issue calmly you are hurting she is ... (read in full...)
Pay child maintenance and have the child almost half the year, should I pay for childcare?
Q. i pay child maintenance for my child and have him 156 days of the year so i do my share of parenting the problem i have is his mother wants me to help her pay for child care what do you think?...
A. 30 October 2006: I think it depends on you really, whether you want to do things for your child as the court dictate or as a normal father who would always put his child welfare first and if childcare is part of it he wont be bothered. I dont see a problem in that ... (read in full...)
24 year old virgin. What will guys think? I need advice.
Q. im 24 and ive never had sex. how lame is that? what will guys think when i tell them? i pretty much have no experience..i need advice....
A. 30 October 2006: I dont believe being a virging is lame, I think its beautiful and most treasured experience at that age you can make a decision how u wanna loose it and to whom, men like virgins as they are not experienced so dont stress about that. I lost mine at ... (read in full...)
How can I contructively deal with negativity?
Q. I am feeling abit down and frustrated with myself because of the way I let people treat me, mainly regarding my boyfriend but also a few of my friends. I was quite hurt by the way my boyfriend treated me on his birthday (he initially invited me to ...
A. 30 October 2006: I am sorry that u have such a sweet personality but instead of people appreciating it they walk all over you.
You need to start opening up to people and be true to yourself. If someone hurt you tell them and demand an apology never say things are ... (read in full...)
Do I have the dreaded "pencil dick"? What do you all think?
Q. Is my penis too thin? My penis measures 4.5 inches around when I'm erect and I've heard 5 inches the average. I'm worried because I've read women care more about girth than they do length. Am I OK here or do I have the dreaded "pencil dick?"...
A. 30 October 2006: Size doesnt matter at all, what matters is how u use it and self-confidence. Feeling low about yourself would be a total turn off.... (read in full...)
He left all my belongings in bin bags outside my door! What should I do now?
Q. need some advice plz, i phoned my bf yesterday to ask him what time he was coming to pick me up and he said he would pick me up at tea time which i said that was fine. so at 7.45pm he still hadn't picked me up so i phoned him again and he was in the ...
A. 30 October 2006: Hi there
I say forget him, what he did was very disrespectful regardless of how annoyed he might have been with you there is no excuse, but I say judge for yourself think of what is good for you and then ask yourself questions like based on the ... (read in full...)
My unhappiness over our breakup has caused me to drink a lot!
Q. Two weeks ago I split up with my boyfriend and I still can't stop thinking about him and it's getting me down all the time and I am so unhappy. I recently started drinking as this makes me happy. How can I go about getting over him before I start a ...
A. 30 October 2006: Hi
Splitting with a boyfriend you love can be emotional turmoil but life goes on.
Boyfriends will always come and go some will be good some will be bad either way we need to learn to go, alcohol won’t bring him back it will destroy u sooner o... (read in full...)
My wife is HIV positive. Should I continue a relationship with her?
Q. I meet my wife after six months we got married within another six month later, she got pregenat, and within two weeks she was diagonised for (hiv)positive. I was confused and afraid, i went for my own hiv test but as God will have his way, i was ...
A. 30 October 2006: Hi Victory
I don’t think it will be wise of you to leave her regardless of how she got infected and your status. You and your wife need counseling if you are not part of any support group try to find one nearest to you or alternatively visit your... (read in full...)
Why can't my fiancee understand why I love my kids more than her?
Q. I was married for 9 years, but split with my wife just over a year ago, we have 3 children together. I have been engaged to another girl for 3 and a half months and love her dearly. We live 300 miles apart and I live close to my wife and kids. I ...
A. 27 October 2006: why do you compare the love you have for your kids to the love you have for your fiancee? dont you think this is where everything seem so messed-up? I wouldnt want to be compared with my bf children it is unacceptable so I know why she cant ... (read in full...)
Our relationship: In a rut. That's what I told her and now she's dumped my ass
Q. My relationship with my g/f is in a bit of a rut and the other night i pointed this out to her. We love each other and I don't want a split but would love to make it work. Anyway, i was over critical of the relationship and of my g/f. She is very...
A. 27 October 2006: The question is are you prepared to be in a relationship that lacks open communication? Depending on how u addressed the issue maybe you sounded like you were blaming her and that ticked her off. In future try to find a way of raising issues it will ... (read in full...)
My parents are mean--has anyone else had the same experiences with their parents?
Q. Dear Cupid, I was wondering if any of your readers known some very nice people who have very mean parents? Because I have, and I was wondering if anyone else has too?...
A. 27 October 2006: Honey all parents are mean and loving at the same time. I know some abusive parents too. I think you need to elaborate the "mean" you are referring to.... (read in full...)
Do women like their man to be strong or does she like being the strong one?
Q. Hi all, I was hoping to get a females view on this one... Me and my girlfriend of 4 years get along great. However, she seems to wear the pants in the relationship. I'm not a wuss, and I am strong and supportive, but I think when i show my emo...
A. 27 October 2006: Hi
sometimes the way we are brought up is the way we treat and expect others to behave, thats why it is easy 4 women to take over relationships and be in control unaware. maybe start by checking her background and then you will find out where that... (read in full...)
Do women like their man to be strong or does she like being the strong one?
Q. Hi all, I was hoping to get a females view on this one... Me and my girlfriend of 4 years get along great. However, she seems to wear the pants in the relationship. I'm not a wuss, and I am strong and supportive, but I think when i show my emo...
A. 27 October 2006: Hi
sometimes the way we are brought up is the way we treat and expect others to behave, thats why it is easy 4 women to take over relationships and be in control unaware. maybe start by checking her background and then you will find out where that... (read in full...)
He is married and and he keeps flirting and touching me!
Q. I have been letting a married man touch me for the past 3 years. He is 29 years old, married, and has 3 children. I honestly try to make a good effort and tell him to stop, but I can't. When he starts touching me, it feels good that I can't say no. ...
A. 27 October 2006: Learn to say no and stop being used by a married man who doesnt have any respect for women including his own wife.... (read in full...)
He tells me he has no money... but I found out he's been spending it all on eBay!
Q. hello, i'm 31. have been with my guy for over 7 years. he is an apprentice solicitor about to qualify in december. for all these years i was the one to pay for the holidays of which there were many including 3 trips to the states.his money has gone...
A. 27 October 2006: Sit him down and tell him how you feel. if he has no remorse maybe it will be time to give each other a little break so that he can sort himself out, seven years is too much to just throw away but at the same time u cant marry a man u cant ... (read in full...)
He treats me like crap! What should I do/
Q. My boyf is changing..its been 3yrs...and jus bcuz ive been there wid him thru thick n thin, he thinks its ok to treat me like crap. he yells at me.. dusnt matter where we are...he makes me feel low..and wat drivez me crazy is that at one point i was ...
A. 27 October 2006: The guy is taking advantage of your loving and understanding heart, you stood by him even when things were hopeless and he thinks maybe you didnt have anywhere to go thats why he doesnt care, so show him that you did all that bcos you love him but a ... (read in full...)
How do I stop my crazy clinginess?
Q. Me and my fiancee have been together for almost two years now and we have been living together for about 6 months. when he goes out with his "boys" or anyone for that matter, I get upset and mad at him for going out and leaving me all alone. I want ...
A. 27 October 2006: Yes dear it is not healthy but at the same time it doesnt make you a crazy gf remember you are only human. it is normal to feel that way although it is not a good feeling as it portray a bit of insecurity which prevent u from giving him a bit of a ... (read in full...)
My son's father came back in our lives and now he's dumped me again! What should I do?
Q. i was in a 3yr relationship from 13 to 16 with Aaron i fell pregnant and he left me when i was 4 half months pregnant it destroyed but i had our beautiful son i moved on and met lee and i was with for 3yrs until 2 weeks ago i ended things he took on ...
A. 27 October 2006: Hi
I honestly don’t think you should wait on Aaron he definitely doesn’t deserve a woman like you, he wasted enough of your time and you were able to move on when you were finding your happiness he came back to mess-up your mind again because he k... (read in full...)
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