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... Send *ovial a private message | | | *ovial's profile:hi everyone
I am a woman in my early thirties.
I think what qualifies me is that I love helping people probably because I want to see everyone happy, I cant stand seeing people in pain I always try to find solutions to make them feel comfortable with their situations. I also like being around people socially especially kids are such a joy to spend time with.
All the responses I give are to be used as guidelines not AS-IS while making future decisions. Most of this responses I truly give based on an opinion and lessons learnt from past and present experiences. you are always welcome to pm me if you require my opinion i promise to respond objectively.
Jovial
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| Latest articles: Is it wise to excuse staying in an unhappy relationship by labeling it ‘Complicated’?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: So often we fall in love with someone who is not in love with us and chase after them that we fail to notice those who are chasing after us. Relationships are complicated so are we. Have u ever been asked how is it so far with your boyfriend? Are ...
Is all completely fair in love and war?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: Hello there! Why did someone came up with the words its all fair in love and war? I told my friend my ex-colleague and friend was coming over for supper last Saturday night she said oh really I am so looking forward to meeting him is he married? I...
I don’t know which one is worse space or let’s be friends?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 April 2008: Hello there! It starts with: “Baby we need to talk” - “I think I need a space” or “I think we should break-up”, “Don’t worry we can still be friends”……… OUCH! Dumpee “Honey why? I thought we were tight” Baby please!!! I don’t understand cant ...
Take courage and go back to the ring
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 May 2007: I was in the bus this morning when the two ladies were gossiping about a co-worker who is sleeping with her friend’s husband (who happens to be her boss) behind her back. The other one said “oh that woman is very crazy she thinks living it like that ...
When do you know its time to let go?
No replies yet... 10 May 2007: Few weeks ago a friend of mine found out her fiancée has a child by a girl from his neighborhood and all this were unknown to her, you can imagine the pain she felt, she was and still is heartbroken and perplexed by what the man she loved and ...
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its either break up and never get back together or work it out.
Q. ive been hurt a lot in the past and once i was single i told my self i wasnt going to settle for less because i was sooo tired of being taken for granted. So 2 to 3 months later i found this really nice guy. A lot of my friends knew him and said ...
A. 14 May 2007: Hello dear
You can go anywhere you want hun. It’s all about choosing the right direction. I am sorry u feel the way you but its unnecessary to put yourself down like this believe me been there. What you need to understand is that people are not ... (read in full...)
Fidelity and marriage
Q. Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
A. 10 May 2007: well done Eddie this is good.... (read in full...)
I want to have the big commitment talk with him, but I'm worried of how he will react. Any suggestions?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been talking since last September and dating since November and have known and been friends with each other for years. He's buying a house soon and asked that I stay with him eventually. Thing is, I'm scared to ask him how ...
A. 10 May 2007: Hi
just remember that in a relationship the little things you think are better off under the carpet are the ones that come back haunting us in the future and eventually breaks the relationship. you bf is a quite type who avoids confrontations. you ... (read in full...)
I got pregnant and now he hates me. What can I do to make things right again?
Q. Me and a childhood friend ( who messed around as kids) hooked back up as grown ups. We did everything together. We really liked each other. Both of us never spoke of our feelings other than we liked each other. ( I felted more for him- I think he ...
A. 10 May 2007: Hi
I dont think there is any other right that will make this situation better. sometimes when you find yourself in a bad relationship when a child comes its a beginning of new life and a new romance for the parents which means the child changed thin... (read in full...)
How do I change this and get a life for myself?
Q. I get a feeling sometimes that i am the only person holding on things at whatever place i am currently, may it be my home, a workplace or a place i visit. Like i own that place and other people are just serving me for the respect they owe me for me ...
A. 7 May 2007: Dear confusedsoul
I think what u need to do is to learn to accept the situation as it is, most importantly learn to separate your responsibilities for others and the responsibility you have to yourself. You might find that people in your family p... (read in full...)
I am possessive and he has abused me physically. Should we end this relationship?
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy who is 2 years younger than me.We've been together for a year and a half now.He abuse me physically but i keep forgiving him bcoz i love him.I once had a miscariage.I am very possesive as a result we fight quite ...
A. 7 May 2007: I think u need to stop this relationship the reason your relationship is not healthy at all he continues to physically abuse you and you continuously makes excuses for him which is not good, I also think the reason you think you love him is because ... (read in full...)
After 27years together, wife says she needs space! Help..what can I do?
Q. after 27years wife said she is not in love anymore needs space help...
A. 26 April 2007: first of all ask her what triggered this whole thing like what is it that she thinks she is missing in this marriage that caused her to fall out of love with you, has she been cheating? did you something unforgivable? there must be something ... (read in full...)
We are working on getting our relationship back on track, there are many things that affected his children, they dont want to talk to me and I dont blame them! I want to make all this right and need some guidance!
Q. I'm not going to make any excuses for what you are about to read but I hope that you can see that I am a very genuine person who fully realises the mistakes she has made and is trying to make amends. I hope someone out there can offer me some words ...
A. 17 April 2007: Hi
I am really impressed by the way you humbly accept full responsibility for your actions, I am sure you mean it. You are right no one can justify this to make it right. I think taking full responsibility was the first step. Do not expect a mira... (read in full...)
I always get carried away emotionally whereas she's emotionally blocked off.
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for three months now and i am starting to develop feelings for her but shes unsure. Im scared from past relationships while shes had none. I want a fairly serious relationship but she just wants fun and wants ...
A. 13 April 2007: there is nothing wrong with being romantic that is part of what women want in a relationship, but before she agree to anything and a man start showering with expensive and romantic gifts the truth is she can become overwhelmed by the gesture that ... (read in full...)
I always get carried away emotionally whereas she's emotionally blocked off.
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for three months now and i am starting to develop feelings for her but shes unsure. Im scared from past relationships while shes had none. I want a fairly serious relationship but she just wants fun and wants ...
A. 12 April 2007: maybe you feel a bit insecure around her try to relax, excuse yourself when the pressure is too much to bear because you dont want to scare her. also try to meet in public areas that way you will not get carried away, instead of being sexually ... (read in full...)
He said he doesn't want me to leave but he's afraid to make the "commitement' to me. Should I just walk?
Q. My current boyfriend and I have been on and off for almost 6 years. We are trying to make it work this time but I have plans for my future and know what I want. He doesn't have the same views so I said then we shouldn't spend any more time with each ...
A. 12 April 2007: maybe while busy asking yourself those questions ask yourself if it will be easier to leave him if you wait a little llonger, i dont know which is best but as you have hands-on experience i am sure you know what to do. you are making a lot of sense ... (read in full...)
After 6 months, she said she was too consumed with the relationship and broke it off!!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am in the army where i met this beautiful girl who was dating a guy back home and we instantly became friends..she was having troubles and i stepped in and well one thing lead to another and we started dating! We moved very fast but ...
A. 12 April 2007: yes let her go. its never easy to let someone you truly love go but at the same time its painful and a waist of time to hold on to someone who doesnt want you so choose what makes you happy.... (read in full...)
We are LD, we are engaged, and I do want to marry her, But shes talks so openly about sex with others, that Im wondering is she right for me ?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship now with my fiancee and sometimes she gets on the edge, we had a row and she told me that the fact that she loves me does not mean that when i get her upset she will not make mistakes of going out to look for ...
A. 11 April 2007: Dear fumeme
i agree with the other aunts 200% I don’t know if what I am about to add is what you are looking for here it goes; what I can see is you guys have different believes as far as commitment is concern. You believe in having one partner and ... (read in full...)
He don't communicate with me and I don't know what to do with him...
Q. I am 29, he is 30 we both born in July month. We now have a child less than 6 months old, we met 5 years ago, dated in the first 2 years and met again in the fourth year, but our relationship has never really taken off, i.e. we don't go out, talk, ...
A. 11 April 2007: Hello
I am sorry but I have to agree with the other aunts, communication is a key to a successful relationship. Your relationship has become very dull you don’t seem to know what to do with him and he acts like he doesn’t care what happens next also... (read in full...)
He said he doesn't want me to leave but he's afraid to make the "commitement' to me. Should I just walk?
Q. My current boyfriend and I have been on and off for almost 6 years. We are trying to make it work this time but I have plans for my future and know what I want. He doesn't have the same views so I said then we shouldn't spend any more time with each ...
A. 11 April 2007: Hi
I don’t think you are a bad person not at all. I don’t know how old and financially stable you are as this is usually a factor for many couples when it comes to marriage and commitment. Maybe these might be the reasons your partner is cons... (read in full...)
I 'm finding this real tough but how do I forgive, so that I can move on?
Q. How do you forgive someone? My ex made me feel really uncomfortable one night. Him and his best mate were teasing me so much it felt like bullying and he has since apologised for making me feeling uncomfortable and hopes I can forgive him. I ...
A. 11 April 2007: Hi
What a jerk? You know what you have all the control and power to set yourself free from this anger. Boiling inside will just raise your blood pressure and you might get sick. Forget his stupidity and find a way to move on. He is your ex you know... (read in full...)
I always get carried away emotionally whereas she's emotionally blocked off.
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for three months now and i am starting to develop feelings for her but shes unsure. Im scared from past relationships while shes had none. I want a fairly serious relationship but she just wants fun and wants ...
A. 11 April 2007: Hi
The solution to this is to learn to free yourself when you are around her and be yourself. Ever heard “opposite attract” I think this is what is happening here and I must say this is an exciting and scary type of relationship because you neve... (read in full...)
After 6 months, she said she was too consumed with the relationship and broke it off!!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am in the army where i met this beautiful girl who was dating a guy back home and we instantly became friends..she was having troubles and i stepped in and well one thing lead to another and we started dating! We moved very fast but ...
A. 11 April 2007: hi
the only way to find out is through communication. you love her and you would like to know if after she had her space there will be a future for the two of you as simple as that. if u dont communicate this things how are you going to wait for ... (read in full...)
After all this crap and abuse I still think of him sometimes! Why am I doing this?
Q. Hi. I wonder if someone might be able to give me some insightful perpectives on my situation. When I was 10, I met this boy because our families lived closeby and were good friends. We liked each other a lot. I know it sounds silly because both of ...
A. 10 April 2007: Hello
I am really sorry about everything you are going thru, if its any consolation what you are feeling about this guy its normal your subconscious mind didn’t let go of him that’s why you find it justifiable to make excuses for him.
What you need... (read in full...)
She lied to me so much about her past! Why is she doing this?
Q. I love my girlfriend for the past 2 and a half years more than i ever thought possible. In the beginning we would talk all night and realized how much our lives had been the same. I told her the worst things about me and completely trusted her. Over ...
A. 10 April 2007: Hi
I am sorry you are in one of the worst relationship ever, I have been where you are right now but with a man of course I am sure several people who had been unlucky with love can easily relate to your situation and they will all agree with me w... (read in full...)
What should I do? Act like I dont care? Break up with her?
Q. Ok well it starts off me being with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years. During this time we had to attend different schools. I found out that one night when she was drunk she messed around with another guy. After a period apart we got back ...
A. 10 April 2007: Hello jakebank
Sometimes distant relationship can be a little hard and when you decide to make it work all of you must be willing to try. I don’t know what her problems are and we cant really say her friend’s behaviour has some kind on infl... (read in full...)
After 6 months, she said she was too consumed with the relationship and broke it off!!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am in the army where i met this beautiful girl who was dating a guy back home and we instantly became friends..she was having troubles and i stepped in and well one thing lead to another and we started dating! We moved very fast but ...
A. 10 April 2007: Hi
This woman seems to have a lot of issues to sort out. Don’t rush her give her some time off tell her how you feel and how you want things to work ask her what can you do to make her change her mind about you maybe she will be honest with you and ... (read in full...)
My gf is 24 and her friend is 40! This relationship of theirs seems messed up, what can I do ?
Q. My girl is 24, and she became best friends about 2 years ago with a 40 year old woman. About a year before we met. I am not one to come between friendships. But, her friendship with this woman is unhealthy. This woman is not a bad person, mind you, ...
A. 10 April 2007: Hi
How about nothing? My point is she will never see your point so let her find that on her own. It’s good that she has someone like u looking out for her. But what I can tell you is that she loves her friend and she likes spending time with her ... (read in full...)
My guy is in the army and his mum hates me and keeps making up stories about me to him! How can I win here?
Q. hay guys! ive been going out with this lovely guy for 1 yr! hes perfect for me! now hes just gone away with the army! missing him but everythings fine with us its just his mum! she hates me... she keeps lieing to him and telling him ppl have told ...
A. 10 April 2007: hi
leave momma's baby alone, he is making excuses because i think he likes momma's choice, dont let yourself to be treated like an after thought. its hard but move on and find someone more mature like yourself.
Jovial... (read in full...)
My guy is in the army and his mum hates me and keeps making up stories about me to him! How can I win here?
Q. hay guys! ive been going out with this lovely guy for 1 yr! hes perfect for me! now hes just gone away with the army! missing him but everythings fine with us its just his mum! she hates me... she keeps lieing to him and telling him ppl have told ...
A. 10 April 2007: hi
leave momma's baby alone, he is making excuses because i think he likes momma's choice, dont let yourself to be treated like an after thought. its hard but move on and find someone more mature like yourself.
Jovial... (read in full...)
Does taking time out to be with my friends make me a bad father?
Q. I'm 24 years old, in the UK. Up until August 2006 I was in a relationship which I wasn't entirely happy with for various reasons. We have a daughter who is almost 2. After we split up, there was an initial struggle to get my name put onto our daug...
A. 23 March 2007: Hi
I don’t think spending sometime with your friends should automatically make you a bad father. Maybe your ex frustrations being caused by the other child’s father its taking its toll on her. Just continue to be the best father you can be to your... (read in full...)
I'm 21, married 2 years but I'm wondering about life as a single woman but I don't want to make the biggest mistake of my life by leaving! Help!
Q. I'm 21 and have been married for almost 2 years. My problem is that on a daily basis I think about how my life would be if I were single (which I haven't been since I was 15). My husband is the second man I've ever been with and we began dating ...
A. 23 March 2007: Hi
I think you must make peace with what you have become and what you think you are missing, I am sure someone will agree with me when I say your thoughts are normal. If I may ask what is it that you think you are missing anyway? Did you get marr... (read in full...)
I can't stand the close relationship my bf has with his ex! What should I do?
Q. i need some help with an ongoing problem in my relationship with my boyfriend.we've been together for 3years now.i have two children from previous relationships and he has two sons also.my problem is i can't stand the close relationship he has with ...
A. 22 March 2007: Hi
Why you are still with this man its beyond me. Anyway, I think this guy is really dependent on this woman and she likes it more especially because you are against. Sometimes some exes don’t think for themselves they will do anything that will... (read in full...)
I am back with her again but feel like a total mug, any advice would be appreciated.
Q. Some background--In 2002, I began a relationship with the women I am 'kind of with' at the moment. In 2000 I had parted from someone that I had been with for 18 years. I met current person I am supposedly with, at my home town, which I left in ...
A. 22 March 2007: Hi
I think when you feel like you are trying to make things better they always become worse? I know that, I think what u need to do is to give her time you are both willing to make things work but its just not on your terms if the pace that you are ... (read in full...)
I really want her to reconsider and give us another go!! We are still close, should I see how things go or ask her ?
Q. Hi, I really need someone to give me an outsiders opinion on the situation im in at the moment, if you would, please read, ill try to explain things to the point. Everything started last year, the end of may, where i worked came under new ma...
A. 22 March 2007: Hi
I think you need to take things very very slow with your eyes wideopen if you really want her back, she is deeply confused she might be interested in working things out with you but her ex is back, when you got together with her she was stil... (read in full...)
Things were great, but now her ex husband keeps coming round to see the kids, and its like hes there all the time!!!!
Q. Hi, I got into a relationship with an older married woman, her relationship with her husband deteriorated and they are now divorced. We lived together at my flat for 6 months to help our relationship grow, then we decided to move to her marital ...
A. 22 March 2007: Hello there
I think this is a very sticky situation for everyone involved and unfortunately the ex factor is very strong in this one. I think what you need to do is talk to your lover about what is going on and how its killing u inside. You are feel... (read in full...)
How can I get on with my life and be happy like he is?
Q. we had been together for 5 yrs we lived together for 2 years before i got married before we was married i fell pregnant i got married in the july and ad the baby in oct and i found out he bin cheating i kicked him out in the january its bin a yr now ...
A. 22 March 2007: Hi
I think you need to learn to let him go its hard I know but dwelling on the pain will not help you in anyway infact it will just make things worse. You had every right to kick him out he was unfaithful and you dealt with the situation the only... (read in full...)
We want to be married and she wants to take my surname hyphenated with hers but she wants ME to do the same! I'm against this. Any advice?
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship (international actually, I'm British, she's American) for around 9-10 months, we met on the internet, and we love each other with all our hearts, of that I am 100% certain. We have our differences, but ...
A. 6 March 2007: i think you need to keep the name you are happy with, according to my cultural belief from creation a wife is identified by her husband name i dont know whats yours but if its the same i think you have compromised enough by allowing her to keep ... (read in full...)
Should I force myself to show affection I don't feel with the hope it will help the feelings return? Can a marriage be sustained without healthy intimacy?
Q. My husband (of 4 years) and I have been having marital problems. For about a year, my husband's affection towards me gradually waned until about the only time I received any was when he wanted sex. Last spring we took a trip to Italy that was ...
A. 6 March 2007: Hi
I am sorry about everything you are going thru. its good you guys are on counsiling the problem you are unable to move on its because you are keeping all the hurt to yourself. instead of finding a solution you end up fighting maybe because you ... (read in full...)
We have broken up but he's my best friend now hes hooking up and i can't bear to hear it!!!
Q. My boyfriend and I were together for over a year and both know we could spend the rest of our lives together, but not yet. About three weeks ago he told me he needed a break to experience new things, but still loved me, and this was not permanent. ...
A. 6 March 2007: hi
you guys really love each other, wanting to torture each other like this its beyond me. frankly speaking being friends with somebody you are still inlove with is never a wise thing to do in other words its stupid. either you guys break it off ... (read in full...)
Is this man telling me the truth or is he spinning me a line?
Q. I'm getting married this summer to a wonderful guy that I care for very much, but after three years, as much as I try, I still can't move completely on from my online friend. Our online friendship started out with us both meeting and talking ...
A. 6 March 2007: hi
i guess you know the solution to this, do not get married to your fiance whilst still inlove with the other guy it will be unfair and cruel to him. the bottom line is you cant have them both which you have to let go of the other. maybe speak to t... (read in full...)
He broke up with me because I told some friends, he and I were dating! Should I pursue him again?
Q. I really liked this guy for ages and about a month ago we hooked up and spent some time together a couple of times. One day i gave him a call and he was really cold and not that keen to chat so i just left it deleted his number and moved on. last ...
A. 6 March 2007: Dear Kate
in my opinion it is good riddens. why would you want to be with someone who is ashamed of you? i think he just needed a reason to tell his friends because to me his reason sound childish and very immature. this guy seem to have lots of i... (read in full...)
Can anybody help with baby names??
Q. I need some suggestions on baby names. I`m due at the end of the month and its a boy! I want something different but not CRAZY different! HELP!...
A. 6 March 2007: Hi
congratulations, Happy pushing. just google "baby names" and you will get more than enough to choose from. this way its easier because you will find a beautiful name that will mean something to you or relate to you.
good luck... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Had DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? I want to hear your stories...
Q. Has DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? If so, please let me know. Either post here (anon if you prefer) or send me a private mail. Sometimes when I'm coding at midnight or tinkering with an errant database, or wondering wh...
A. 6 March 2007: Hi
Andrew I think this site is truly amazing, it has helped me to see life in a different percepective, all the aunts here are so sweet and open minded atleast to all the questions i have asked. and that is what gave me courage to help others in t... (read in full...)
Should we give this is a more "official" feel of a relationship or will it make it worse!?
Q. I met someone while traveling through Australia last winter and we've kept in touch regularly through emails/MSN/text messaging. I tried to keep a pen-pal feel to the whole relationship, but lately I just really really miss him and I'm struggling to ...
A. 1 March 2007: i think taking it further depends on both of you. check where the wind blows to during your conversations. read along the lines of your conversations if you are so afraid of being the first one to tell him how you feel i cant promise this will ... (read in full...)
He says I'm fat, wants to leave me and wants to have sex with other women... but I love him, what do I do?
Q. hi me and my bf are together for 8years now.a year ago he started to swear at me then he changed alot towards me he got very rude and had a bad temper, he gets angry quickly. He told my yesterday he actually wants to leave me coz its my fault he ...
A. 1 March 2007:
Believe me you do wanna loose him. take it as good riddens, let him go. He doesnt deserve you.... (read in full...)
My guy is in the army and his mum hates me and keeps making up stories about me to him! How can I win here?
Q. hay guys! ive been going out with this lovely guy for 1 yr! hes perfect for me! now hes just gone away with the army! missing him but everythings fine with us its just his mum! she hates me... she keeps lieing to him and telling him ppl have told ...
A. 27 February 2007: hi there
im so glad things turn out this way. you are very lucky to get a man who can standup to his mother. congratulations!!!!!!!!... (read in full...)
My guy is in the army and his mum hates me and keeps making up stories about me to him! How can I win here?
Q. hay guys! ive been going out with this lovely guy for 1 yr! hes perfect for me! now hes just gone away with the army! missing him but everythings fine with us its just his mum! she hates me... she keeps lieing to him and telling him ppl have told ...
A. 22 February 2007: hi
I think you are faced with the “mother-in-law from hell” syndrome, and with this kind you cant win. What you need to do is to live your life as you see it fit, you don’t have to feel like you need to win because you are not in a competition. You ... (read in full...)
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