A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hie how do you let go of a guy who you know is just using you but does not love you who wants sex from you only but you want more from him, i have tried leaving such a guy but its been difficult.how do i save myself? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): He's just a challenge. That's more enticing.
The fact that you can't get him makes you feel like you're ALMOST worthy of him. So you try harder to get him. You can intellectually tell yourself that you know better, but your emotional/gut reaction is like this anyway.
You're getting what you want. You may not think so, but you are choosing every day that you like this situation better than leaving him so that means you want this. You can reason away from this idea however you want, but the simple fact is that you'd rather be second best with him than be best in the eyes of a decent guy.
A
female
reader, becca78  +, writes (10 November 2007):
Been there - it's so hard to break away, especially when everytime he calls you go running, you're probably thinking this time things will be different and he really does want you. If you don't end things on your terms now, he will eventually meet someone he really loves and leave you for her leaving you totally heartbroken. You have to end it, it has no future and there is someone out there round the corner who will love you and treat you right.
...............................
A
female
reader, shania +, writes (10 November 2007):
 Sounds to me like your craving for someone to love you and by having sex with them,that will answer all your prays.Trouble is,its not working like that,is it? Maybe your giving yourself too quickly to the 1st bloke that comes along? You need to take a step back, reflect where you are going wrong...get to know the fella 1st before you end up sleeping with him. You need to end this relationship with lover boy because he is using you and its not going to do your self confidence any good. Your better then that.
...............................
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (10 November 2007):
Well you have to take a close look at why it is so difficult. What stoped you from leaving him? What drew you back to him? Is it because you are dependent on him? Fear feeling alone? Is it because having him as your bf makes you feel love/valued/good about yourself sometimes?
My guess is that maybe you are insecure, because often girls stick with guys who are no good for them because they have low self esteem. They believe they need the guy in order to complete their life, to make them feel good about thereself. Some also may think they wont find anyone else, so this also relates back to feeling alone and not believing in yourself and how good you are!
So if this may be the issue, then you need to work on your self esteem. Talk to close friends and family, peopel who love you, ask them for support nad Im sure they will give you reassurance in how good you are!
Its hard to leave someone who is no good for you, but it can be done. You need to realise that you deserve so much more and you will get it, but you cant achieve any beter by staying with this guy.
...............................
|
