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female
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anonymous
writes: I broke up with my ex a month ago, and a week later he had all these new girls added to his myspace. He kept calling me for awhile saying how much he loved me, but how could that be true if he already has all these blondes that are 19 and 21 on his "friends" list on myspace? He is 34 and I think it's sick even though they are of age. He always wears a hat, but is balding, and I think he is gross. He was also abusive to me, so I feel like warning everyone but I know that will make me look stupid. How can I get over the fact that he is down in Florida probably hitting on every girl? I know I shouldn't care because he was very egotistical and emotionally abusive. He is meeting with a production company as I speak about a reality show about himself that they might produce and how he travels to Disney World so much and to Colorado (where I'm from) to go snowmobiling. He has a house in New York and Colorado and I guess his show will be about how he jet-skis and rides quads. But, come on! He is so into himself and no one knows how controlling he can be! What do I do?!
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (10 November 2007):
I know its hard to let go. And it can be particularly annoying/frustrating when he appears to be Mr Perfect to all these other girls when he was a total abusive jerk to you! Ive been in a similar situation before. And sometimes I stil get that feeling still. It hurts to see him being nice and happy to people he barely knwos and treting them well...but you and I both know that that act wont last forever will it? Once he 'catches' the person he will turn abusive.
I think its safe to say that you are still in the early stages of moving on from him and in time, as you progress on in your life without him that these feelings with lessen. Just keep telling yourself positive thoughts, try to get him off your mind (because as much has you think about it, it wont get you anywhere). If you do feel a need to let these girls know what he is really like, you could...but I duno if they will listen. Its up to them ot make their own mistakes really...
A
female
reader, Love*Fool  +, writes (10 November 2007):
 Oh honey... First I'll say that I'm sorry that you were in that kind of situation. Second I'll say be glad that you are out of it! People who are emotionally (or otherwise) abusive to someone they supposedly love rarely ever change.
It sounds like he's a closet self-loather and has to keep up appearances that he's uber cool so that everyone will think he is. Remember: Myspace is NOT real life!! Anyone can add friends and most little blonde girls will add anyone who adds them first. It's all for show, sweetie! If he was emotionally abusive to you while he "loved" you, he's obviously just putting on a show for you to further the abuse cycle.
The best thing you can do is ignore him and his antics completely. I know it's not an easy thing to do, but that is the only way to show him that he hasn't got the better of you. I wouldn't try to "warn" anyone about how he treated you unless someone asks you directly. Even then, be the bigger person and just honestly answer their questions. Don't put him down because his true colors will show through in the end, anyhow.
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A
female
reader, gmapeaches +, writes (10 November 2007):
 It sounds to me like you might be a bit "addicted" to the drama of being with this guy.. You need to let it go.. what comes around goes around and his will come back to him.. all you can control is you.. you need to stop obsessing about him.. Let him go.. find your closure somehow.. I find I need to have my say. when a relationship ends.. and I often find it hard to let go till I convince whoever that I was right.. they wronged me.. that i am the better person whatever.. i have been where you are.. even though you might know its over, want it to be over.. you are so used to it you are having trouble letting go.. I found it very satisfying to write a letter.. telling the guy why he is a jerk. why i am WAY better off without him and why losing me was the stupidest thing he ever did.. then i read it.. and then i carefully burned it.. you don't have to be right.. you just have to move on now..
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (10 November 2007):
 Colorado is a nice place, we like it. I wouldn't worry about him. If you and he are not longer together, why do you continue to keep track of his actions. What you do is move on, and stop worrying about those who are stuck on themselves. It's not your job to warn everyone. It's your job to move on and find happiness for yourself. You can waste so much time worrying about the activities of others, you're going to miss out on what's important to you. Take care of yourself and stop worrying about your ex.
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