I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...
A. 22 May 2014: Dear OP,
Thank you for clarifying about the beer incident.
I can understand that you are very hurt. And it's hard, feeling outside the norm. Very hard. I can relate to that.
But if you act out your anger on other people and if it gets you bitt... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...
A. 20 May 2014: Dear OP,
If you keep mourning over rejection for years, you don't give anybody else a chance. There is always someone in the world who only wants to be friends with you, nobody is attractive to everyone. But it's your choice to stay in someone ... (read in full...)
Married to a man but confused about my sexuality!
Q. I've never felt as troubled as recently. I'm married for about more than a year and a half to a loving man. He's one of the greatest thing ever happened to me. He loves me, makes me smile and always gets me the best things. I think i love him...
A. 15 May 2014: Dear OP,
I am a bisexual woman and I believe you might be making a mistake. Look, whatever you do, whoever you are with.. nobody can give you everything, fulfill all your desires and make all your dreams come true. Not your husband.. and not any ... (read in full...)
I can't connect emotionally.
Q. Hey everyone, I have started dating again after a small break and here I am stumbling again on my biggest problem: creating an emotional connection. Emotional connection is necessary in order to escalate things. Yet, I am unable to push things f...
A. 12 May 2014: Dear OP,
I suppose your friends are right. You can't "create" a spark that's not there. I used to make that very same mistake: I wanted to have a boyfriend, so I dated about 30 guys so far where I could have told from the first minute I would ne... (read in full...)
I am seriously questioning myself as a man
Q. I am a 46 year old married male who has been married for 24 years to the same way too beautiful wife, I have a type 1 diabetic since age 3 and I have been physically disabled after getting hurt on the job and needing dual knee replacements and a ...
A. 12 May 2014: Dear OP,
I am not a man but I think I can still relate to the problem of being the unemployed person and also I can relate to the self-doubts when in that position.
The problem is that self-doubts and worries create the problems that are initiall... (read in full...)
I think my body looks abnormal, help?
Q. Hi aunts i need help Like two years ago im this slim tall guy with big head,or a head that is actually noticeably big,i started building muscles to gain some mass, because eating didny really,so now agained this whole lot of muscles And my whole b...
A. 11 May 2014: Dear OP,
I don't have a picture of you and I am not "women" in general, so I can't answer the question if women like a guy with a body like you.
But I also think that this is not important to know.
What IS important, though.. you were told yo... (read in full...)
I don't want to be a gay man.
Q. How do people accept being gay so easily? I'm starting to think I'm gay but I don't want to be. Sure I could pretend to be straight for the rest of my life but I'm not sure if that's what I want but I don't want to lead a gay lifestyle either. I ...
A. 8 May 2014: Dear OP,
If you are in the right place and with the right people, being gay can actually be tons of happiness. If you keep hiding from the gay world and hating yourself, you won't create a supporting environment. You will silently suffer and thin... (read in full...)
Am I suffering from some form of sex addiction?
Q. As I've mentioned previously on this site, I'm in the habit of frequenting brothels on a weekly basis. However, after soliciting the advice of some of the regular contributors here, I've decided to refrain from sleeping with sex workers while I wait ...
A. 8 May 2014: Dear OP,
Yes, I think it's possible - and very likely - that you suffer from some kind of addiction. If you define addiction as something like that:
1) a behavior that you initially enjoyed, because it brought pleasure or numbed a negative fee... (read in full...)
I am fed up of arguing about her wanting breast enlargement surgery!
Q. Hi everyone, I need some advice on a frustrating situation that I am in. About 7 months ago I had a breast enlargement. At 22 I was fed up of feeling self conscious, unhappy and miserable about my body. I never ever developed more than buddin...
A. 8 May 2014: Dear OP,
I am happy for you, because you did something good for yourself.
I wonder if your friendship is that genuine, though. Your friend mentioned she wanted a boob job because she didn't want to be seen as the ugly friend. This sounds like ... (read in full...)
Am I gay? Am I straight? How do I find out?
Q. I am a 30 year-old man confused about his sexual orientation. This is a looong question, but I request you, PLEASE do read it is entirity. MY GAY PHASE: As a kid I was a sissy. I used to always be scared of things, used to cry easily e...
A. 7 May 2014: Dear OP,
I am just going to share some of my thoughts about what you wrote (about me: I have now made peace with the idea that I'm bisexual and don't want another label anymore :)).
Q1) If those "subconscious barriers" are so high that you ar... (read in full...)
Anyone have experience at speed-dating?
Q. I was the anon who wrote this question originally: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-re-enter-the-dating-world.html Well, an update, things are going well so far, not saying it in an egotistical way, here's hoping it continues ;) ...
A. 6 May 2014: Dear OP,
I have been to 3 speed dating events so far and I think your friend has the right attitude about it. In 2 out of 3 events, I met very nice people, had a good chat with the girls there, too (as he might have with the guys) and all in all i... (read in full...)
What thoughts comes to a woman’s mind when a 25 year old guy says that he has never been in a relationship and is a virgin?
Q. Just looking for some straight forward answers. Question: What thoughts comes to a woman’s mind (as well as guys) when a 25 year old guy says that he has never been in a relationship and is a virgin. Why: Initially, it was a religiou...
A. 5 May 2014: Dear OP,
What thoughts come to mind when I hear about that information depends greatly on the guy in front of me. Because that information itself doesn't move me or trigger much thought or emotion. It's a fact like, someone is 25 and unemploy... (read in full...)
Afraid of sex -- is this normal?
Q. Dear all, My problem is that I find sex to be a dirty thing Its difficult for me to imagine some one enter his private parts in mine or me licking some ones private parts I do watch porn But enjoy only till kissing or basically seeing coupl...
A. 4 May 2014: Dear OP,
You sound very normal. Sex might indeed be a little bit "dirty" and I find the idea of sex really unappealing unless I find someone really attractive.
It's a little like sharing a bottle of coke or a glass of water. You may find it gros... (read in full...)
What Can I Do? She is cramping my style!
Q. I have a friend who is socially awkward or shy. We met when I moved to a new town and I thought she was a nice girl, so I used to invite her to things. But recently she has been really bothering me because she is really clingy and when she comes out ...
A. 4 May 2014: Dear OP,
My advice is to spend some fun nights without her. Call her again and do something with her when you feel like it.
Also, define how YOU want your social interactions to look like and tell her, rather than thinking about what you don... (read in full...)
He's an awesome boyfriend but I just can't come to terms with his past
Q. I feel like such a dumbass for writing this question. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months or so, and he's an exceptional boyfriend. It's been great, I'm really happy. Except I'm having problems accepting his past. I know, I know... it shoul...
A. 2 May 2014: Dear OP,
You don't need to break up with him. You just need to change your point of view. That's easier said than done, but clearly you are being upset about something which is in the past and which you haven't witnessed. So basically, you are ... (read in full...)
He said things can't work between us but he still contacts me. Am I just a backup plan?
Q. I met a guy roughly a year ago in a bar. We began dating, we both work in the same industry so were both very understanding of the lack of time we could spend together however for three months we saw eachother at least one a day a week. at one po...
A. 1 May 2014: Dear OP,
My advice comes in the form of a book: "He's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt. He's a guy who helps us women (finally) figure out how to spot men who are just not that interested. And who aren't worth our time..
By the way: T... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my depressed boyfriend?
Q. Hello, and thank you to those to can guide me in my dilemma. My boyfriend has depression, and is suicidal. He opened up about these thoughts is January, and was hospitalized and got a psychologist, anti-depressants and the whole package. After ...
A. 1 May 2014: Dear OP,
I am sorry for you, this is a very uncomfortable position to be in.
You are right, that "secret" new place sounds really weird. No legitimate institution would have to stay a secret. And his family and friends sound like they are not... (read in full...)
Help, my dreams are making me paranoid!
Q. Hey, aunts and uncles, Just a quick question, lately I've been dreaming about my boyfriend cheating he's never cheated, but my dreams are making me think he is, I've had some wheres married and my best friend new I have children with him and.he'...
A. 30 April 2014: Dear OP,
Dreams tell a story about you and your feelings, wishes, imagination.. but not about reality, as wiseowle already mentioned. Often, dreams have many meanings beside the obvious one, dreams talk in terms of symbols and images to you.
S... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble accepting newly found step-siblings!
Q. My father had two daughters outside of his marriage 23 yrs ago. Although I knew about it, I prayed it was not true because it will crush me. I grew up looking up to this man as responsible. My whole life seems to be shattered now because of this. ...
A. 29 April 2014: Dear OP,
I haven't gone through this kind of paradigm shift, but as a child, I had to learn that my mother loved another man than my dad and insisted on keeping the affair going even though it hurt my father. And that my father tried to escape t... (read in full...)
I give them 110% but they still leave
Q. hi aunts and uncles, been a long time since i have been on here. i was left for a yonger woman, and thought it to be not right. i waited two years to get out and meet other guys, i finally met a guy who ended up being 18 years younger than me. we ...
A. 27 April 2014: Dear OP,
The problem IS that you give 110%. Your eagerness doesn't get you love. Love is not the price you get for sacrificing your needs and opinions. Men say you are a good woman, because they are morally obligated to do so and I am sure the... (read in full...)
Am I a pan-romantic lesbian?
Q. Ok so. I really do like guys a lot. And I kinda thought I was pansexual but honestly no matter how much I do like guys I never ever ever want to have srx with a guy and have never been sexually attracted to a guy. I think I might be a pan romantic ...
A. 27 April 2014: Dear OP,
I'm bisexual (well, pansexual I guess, but I never had sex with a trans-person, so I make it easy and call myself bi). I never had any urge to sleep with guys until I was 27. I preferred women till then, and now it's 50:50, I like bot... (read in full...)
Over 30 and single - what did I do wrong?
Q. Every girl dreams of the happy family and nice man that they will one day marry. We are taught from an early age that the Princess always ends up with the Handsome Prince. The scatty girl in the Rom-Com always finds her true love. Your best friends ...
A. 27 April 2014: Dear OP,
I am also 31 and have been single for 4 years now. I know what you are talking about (weddings, stupid condescending questions about my love life etc.). But you possibly didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes, life isn't all roses and some... (read in full...)
Is his ego bruised? How do I make him feel better?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles ,i have been dating a wonderful man for 18months and everything seems to be going well .but he recently lost his job and although i have offered to support us until he finds a new job ,he seems to have become distant and ...
A. 25 April 2014: Dear OP,
I agree with the others. In his shoes, I also wouldn't want to be supported, but try and make it on my own. If he's too much in financial troubles, you could offer to borrow him money and have him give it back to you once he has a job. T... (read in full...)
My wife's turning into a slob
Q. Hi, My wife's tidying habits leave a lot to be desired. We've been married 10 yrs and previously I let it go to young kids and caring for her mum. But now her mum is no longer here and the kids are at school full time. Examples are finishing a ...
A. 23 April 2014: Dear OP,
Let's look at the bigger picture here.
You are dissatisfied with coming home from work and getting the feeling you're making more of an effort than her.
She must be really sad over her loss and sounds like she's generally dissatisfi... (read in full...)
My wife's turning into a slob
Q. Hi, My wife's tidying habits leave a lot to be desired. We've been married 10 yrs and previously I let it go to young kids and caring for her mum. But now her mum is no longer here and the kids are at school full time. Examples are finishing a ...
A. 23 April 2014: Dear OP,
Let's look at the bigger picture here.
You are dissatisfied with coming home from work and getting the feeling you're making more of an effort than her.
She must be really sad over her loss and sounds like she's generally dissatisfi... (read in full...)
Husband says he feels like a prostitute because I want him to have sex with me? What can I do?
Q. My husband does not have a sex drive anymore. We are both young in our mid-twenties. We have been together for nearly 10 years. Our sex life has been at times amazing and at times sparse. I always seem to want it more than him. In the past he has u...
A. 18 April 2014: Dear OP,
You've been given great advice so far, so I am not going to repeat all of the good things that have been said.
If somebody has a really low sex-drive, you can't seduce them no matter how hot you are. And if somebody doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
Would you date a busy person?
Q. My son has grown up and left home and I've met someone lovely who works shifts and also does voluntary work leading teens for outdoor awards some week ends. I really like him and he wants it to work. He was being honest saying his last two ex's ...
A. 17 April 2014: Dear OP,
In the situation I am now, I feel very independent, got many friends, my own hobbies and work and I'm not in a rush to have a family and children. So, if a guy didn't have that much time, I guess I could handle that. I might even enjoy it... (read in full...)
Is there one person you've never got over?
Q. Is there one person you've never got over? When I was in my early 20s I had a brief (2 year) relationship with a man. He was the first man to ever treat me properly and he was the perfect gentleman - for the first 18 months at least! The last ...
A. 16 April 2014: Dear OP,
No. I got over my past and never want to go back to my ex, or any people I was in love with. If something ends, I believe it wasn't meant to be and I also believe break ups are always for a reason. That's how I accept when things end.
W... (read in full...)
Why do I have to pretend to care when no one has cared themselves enough to invite me along those journeys of life?
Q. I'm discouraged, confused, heartbroken, etc... It doesn't what I say, or how I ask it, no one cares enough to help. How do I know if a girl likes me? I've never been able to tell. How would I tell myself, as opposed when I'm unsure about a girl, and ...
A. 16 April 2014: Dear OP,
I get that sometimes you wish there would be a good fairy who just granted you 3 wishes. But there isn't. If you want your life to change, you have to take it into your own hands.. don't rely on anybody else.
I wonder why you resent y... (read in full...)
I stay with him out of pity
Q. I want to split up with my boyfriend of four years. Our relationship hasn't been great for all this time because he expects me to do everything. I work long hours and he expects me to come home and clean, walk our dog and cook his meal. He doesn't ...
A. 13 April 2014: Dear OP,
I know a separation might be hard. It is for everyone, no matter how bad the relationship is.
Yet, it's the ONLY right thing to do and you know it. You've got work, a loyal dog and a supportive mother who would let you stay at her place. Y... (read in full...)
Are cheaters always cheaters?
Q. My ex constantly cheated when we were dating. I was even the one he cheated on his ex with. I forgave him everytime because I loved him and thought he loved me to death according to the commitment he gave and he would beg his parents and friends to ...
A. 9 April 2014: Dear OP,
I believe that people can change - IF they want to and if they see a better way to do things. Cheating is an easy way out of an uncomfortable or unsatisfying situation.. but it's not an attempt to solve the underlying problem and it can b... (read in full...)
My daughter's boyfriend stands too close
Q. My daughters boyfriend is getting too close for comfort, he seems to stand too close to me from behind...at first I didn't pay any attention but now he does it all the time!! I feel stupid, am I making something out of nothing ...inside I feel ...
A. 8 April 2014: Dear OP,
You don't want to cause drama. That's good, because you don't have to.
It may or may not be on purpose, we can't know that. But it's obviously bothering you and you've got every right to say so.
Saying "You are standing too clo... (read in full...)
Have I ruined my reputation by going on a dating site? Did I need to defend myself?
Q. Hello everyone I hope you won't be too hard on me. I may have ruined my reputation a little. My sister told me to join a free dating site to sort of distract myself from my boyfriend's absence. So I did and I tried it out even though I was hesitant...
A. 6 April 2014: Dear OP,
I don't think this will have long-lasting consequences for your reputation, because neither people from work nor family has seen those pictures. Which means you're lucky only an acquaintance/former date has seen and criticized them as ... (read in full...)
Can one person destroy an entire family?
Q. Can one child's actions wreck the whole entire family's life , for lifetime? It seems, my son first destroyed my life, than my whole family's life, and now he is wrecking his wife's life, and his young children's life. How one person can be so ...
A. 6 April 2014: Dear OP,
I am working with people who have mental illnesses. And sadly, a few of them don't only hurt themselves, they also seriously harm their families and partners. Sometimes I thank whatever deity there may be that I can go home after work wit... (read in full...)
I'm struggling to love my baby girl!
Q. Can someone help me with this but I honestly think I don't know how to love, I have a baby girl who is 15months, I take care of her as that is my human instincts to make sure she is ok andd has everything she needs, I have no problem doing all the ...
A. 4 April 2014: Dear OP,
You had to deal with so much responsibility in such a difficult time of your life. And the way your baby's father treated you.. I can understand why you feel mixed emotions about your child at the moment. It's so much work and there's ... (read in full...)
Am I being horrible to ask him to get tested?
Q. What should I do? Why won't he get tested? Am I overreacting? So I haven't being with a guy sexually for 3years now and I've been dating this guy for almost a year now and I want us to start a sexual relationship. He says he hasn't been with any...
A. 4 April 2014: Dear OP,
You're actually being smart and also fair to him. I wish there were more responsible people like you.
... (read in full...)
Can I be happy with a man who isn't funny?
Q. I’m 31 years old and I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year. We both feel that communication and respect are most important in a relationship and have many shared interests. My boyfriend is an amazing listener. He’s kind and caring, treats ...
A. 4 April 2014: Dear OP,
I'm 30 so I get it.. "if I break it up with him, will I ever find another serious relationship with anybody better in the few years I've got...because I want marriage and kids etc. before I turn 40 (or 35 or any number in that range)".... (read in full...)
I'm frustrated over being single for so long!
Q. It's going to be 4 years soon that I am single. Sure, I've met people and "dated" (very very briefly) a few guys but haven't been able to find a guy to actually have a decent relationship with in all this time. I enjoyed being single (primarily for ...
A. 2 April 2014: .. hi there, just checking in on the conversation..
@Wiseowle..I can understand why you'd want to give the OP (and probably all longterm single women around their 30's) some tough-love about acting as desperate as it seems we do.
But I want to... (read in full...)
I'm frustrated over being single for so long!
Q. It's going to be 4 years soon that I am single. Sure, I've met people and "dated" (very very briefly) a few guys but haven't been able to find a guy to actually have a decent relationship with in all this time. I enjoyed being single (primarily for ...
A. 2 April 2014: Dear OP,
I am in the same situation! I've been single for 4 years, as well. And all my friends are in relationships or engaged/married with kids (or trying to have them).
I've been online dating, speed dating, going out, trying new hobbies blab... (read in full...)
Fallen in love with a guy who told me he is not ready to commit from the start.
Q. This is not my first broken heart. I've had worst. I just seem to not being able to let this one go. Scenario: I work in a healthcare industry as an Administrator, met an owner of a pharmacy who is 9 years older than me. He told me from the star...
A. 31 March 2014: Dear OP,
The situation was not "a difficult situation from the beginning". It was in fact very, very easy. You just didn't want to face the facts.
There are thousands and thousands of guys like him - who, of course, can play boyfriend for an... (read in full...)
My girlfriend defecates during sex
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my current girlfriend for over 2 years and ever since the beginning she has had a problem during sex. It doesn't matter what position we try, each time during intercourse she poos. I've asked her if she is doing i...
A. 31 March 2014: Dear OP,
When a penis is penetrating the vagina, it affects the muscular walls which separate the vagina from the lower parts of the intestines (or what it's called). I can imagine that if someone's got a digestion issue or is sensitive to this ... (read in full...)
I want a child and can't gamble more time on dating and ending up alone. Should I have a baby with this guy even though he doesn't want a relationship?
Q. I have been sleeping with a guy from work he is 32 years old and I am 38. and it just keeps going on and on and he says that he doesn't not want a relationship and he cannot be my boyfriend yet we spend weekends together and I go to his parents for ...
A. 26 March 2014: Dear OP,
You might need to decide what you want the most: Good sex, a long-term partner or a baby.
You can keep on with the good sex right now, but then you can't have the baby (or else the guy will dump you).
You can have the baby, but then y... (read in full...)
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