Is it okay to go out alone on New Year's Eve?
Q. The last few years I've been single and primarily friendless so I've stayed in watching tv trying to convince myself I wasn't bored. This year I'm still single, but my friends are coupled or will be out of town and I just can't stand the thought of ...
A. 22 December 2014: Dear OP,
I'm not a guy, so I am not sure if it's possible for men. But if I went out alone on new years' eve, I would end up crying in a corner. If I had to face all the couples and happy groups of friends, I would feel ultimately sorry for myse... (read in full...)
I said " I love you" but he said he doesn't love me but is enjoying our time together.
Q. I told my bf I loved him after 1 year. He stood quiet and didn't say anything. I left home and all day he did not call or text me. I called him late to talk and he basically said that he doesn't love me but is only enjoying time with me. He ...
A. 22 December 2014: Dear OP,
I suppose he meant what he said.
You need to decide if a friendly relationship without romantic loving feelings is enough for you.
Personally, I wouldn't stay in an arrangement like that. You deserve the real thing. And also, I am n... (read in full...)
Trying for a baby is ruining my marriage!
Q. My husband and I have been trying for a baby since our honeymoon one year ago...with no success. All hope is not lost at this stage, we've had tests done and the specialists are pretty confident we'll concieve if we keep trying, and that treatment ...
A. 14 November 2014: Dear OP,
Please, take a break from trying to conceive! You've tried for a year now, it's tiring, it's stressful to always wait for a pregnancy and I'm pretty sure it also affects your sex life if the main goal of sleeping together is to conceive... (read in full...)
My butt is not big enough for my boyfriend.
Q. The thing is, I have some insecurities about the size of my butt. I've been together with my bf for around 3 years and from the beginning he has wished my bottom was bigger. I have gained some weight (around 9 kg)and done exercise and as a result my ...
A. 9 November 2014: Dear OP,
You're not too sensitive at all, I totally get you. This is so hurtful!
What I find very sad is that you let him make you so insecure, that you changed your body for him, even if you initially didn't have the wish to do so. This shows h... (read in full...)
Does my crossdresser boyfriend have multiple personalities?
Q. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-common-for-crossdressers-to-have-multiple.html Dear Cupid, I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years within the first 3 or 4 months of our relationship I knew that he was hiding something so I precede...
A. 9 November 2014: Dear OP,
Whether or not he has this disorder.. the question is: Do you want to live like that? I mean, I don't believe what he says but even if it was true, the question is do you want to live with somebody who has a part in himself that hates an... (read in full...)
The clock is ticking and I feel like I am running out of time!
Q. I am in my last year of my 20s and I have not met "the one" yet also I am still in the process of finishing my masters degree. Sometimes I feel like I did not get all the stuff I wanted to get done by the time I turned 30. When I was a teenager I ...
A. 6 November 2014: Dear OP,
Yes, you are totally overreacting. I'm 31 and I felt exactly the same before my 30th birthday. I didn't even celebrate my b-day that year, just ignored it. I felt like I had arrived nowhere and that all the things I thought would have hap... (read in full...)
I don't Identify as gay. She is not gay. I do have a major crush on her. I need help to try to understand my huge crush on this girl, please?
Q. I've been wanting to ask this question for almost two years now. I would so appreciate any advice on this matter omfg. I'm a 17-year-old girl and have had a thing for one of my juniors - also my favourite junior - for about two years now. It's ...
A. 1 November 2014: Dear OP,
When I was 17, I was madly in love with a girl quite similar than the one you describe. She had many friends that she hugged and cuddled, and she was nice to me.. but I was never her best friend.
I adored her, admired her, loved her, d... (read in full...)
When do you completely let all your walls down and let a man love you?
Q. I just read a quote that spoke to me. "Never give all yourself to someone who has not made a life commitment to you...dating should not have the same benefits as marriage" Well I truly believe in this quote but question myself. I've been hurt bad...
A. 27 October 2014: My dear OP,
Open your heart as soon as you think that you could survive if it gets broken again.
It's more about your inner readiness than about what he does. He could be the best guy on earth, if you can't risk a heart-break, you can't open u... (read in full...)
I'm a compulsive cheater and I suffer depressed. What help do I need to stop this cheating? I do love my older Bf
Q. I'm a 30 year old woman in a committed, loving relationship with a man who is nearly 50. I'm a compulsive cheater. I can't help myself and I hate myself so very much. I've had numerous one-night stands with various men. It is hard for anyone to ...
A. 26 October 2014: Dear OP,
I imagine your problem to be like an addiction problem. Not all therapies are alike, but if you were in cognitive behavioral therapy, the first things that you would need to find out would be:
1) What are the situations in which you ch... (read in full...)
Is it common for CrossDressers to have multiple personalities that don't always communicate
Q. My boyfriend is a crossdresser as time hit gone on he has become more and more into dressing up for atleast the last 6-9 months he has been doing things like wearing my favorit lingerie while Im not home usually hes on Craigslist looking for other ...
A. 25 October 2014: Dear OP,
I know some crossdressers and I've never seen one that had a multiple personality disorder. So, from my experience I really don't think this is a common condition for them. I do believe that many crossdressers have a truly "feminin... (read in full...)
Confused about getting married
Q. Hi! I am a 31 years old woman single and a virgin. I live in Pakistan where you can only have a relationship when you are married. SO arrange marriages are usually the case here. I married six years ago to a guy but we ended up divorced. Now I am...
A. 23 October 2014: Dear OP,
Don't try to convince yourself about anything you're not comfortable with. It doesn't matter if your parents are worried. In my opinion it's better to stay unmarried than to be married to the wrong man. I don't know how life is in Pakis... (read in full...)
The girl I have a crush on now hates me
Q. Hi. So im a bi girl, and i love this other girl, SN, with all my heart. Now, she found out some time ago, when we were still good friends. When she found out, she avoided me for two weeks, but then we sorted it out and we were good friends again, e...
A. 22 October 2014: Dear OP,
I think your friend is being very unfair for hating you and not telling you why, so you don't have a chance to sort it out. I think that you need to move on, or you are breaking your heart again and again. Ignore her! Avoid her. There's ... (read in full...)
Turns out that my mother is a prostitute and everyone at University and school knows. Should I move away?
Q. Turns out that my mother is a prostitute and everyone in school and my university knows. OMG!!!!!!!! what can i do? should i move? i cant believe this, i cant even go out! my life sucks, hope no one other than me ever has to experience this. Every...
A. 18 October 2014: Dear OP,
I can understand that you're in total shock, so you'll need some time to integrate this new information and see what are the consequences.
My opinion is, that 1) you are not your mother and 2) you're a grown up man. This is universi... (read in full...)
How can I get him to understand that we not in the same place sexually, so that I can put an end to my affair?
Q. I'm only interested in advice, not judgement. If you don't have anything constructive to say, you should not even bother responding. My husband and I been married for 8 years, and have a 5 year old. We were together for 2 years before that. ...
A. 18 October 2014: Dear OP,
I agree with the first agony aunt that it would be best to put your cards on the table.
Not because of a moral reason, but because your marriage is slowly dying. And you just can't get someone to understand something, if you don't te... (read in full...)
He gave me herpes and doesn't know he has it
Q. I've met a guy on tinder and been dating him for 5months and have just found out he's given me genital herpes, however he is unaware that he has it. He told me he got tested for STDs and came back clear however they don't routinely test for ...
A. 17 October 2014: Dear OP,
I completely agree with Tisha-1. You HAVE to bring up this topic.
I want to tell you that if you don't say anything, you do something wrong, that many women do in order to please men: They spare them from the truth!
Not telling him t... (read in full...)
Is it possible to stay married, and be happy, even though you are not romantically interested in your husband?
Q. My husband and I are trying to work things out after many months of suffering because of my affair. I have hurt him so bad that I realized he loved me after believing we were just living as roomrates which I got so used to. My problem is that ...
A. 17 October 2014: Dear OP,
I think it's possible to stay married to a person you're not romantically interested in. But I doubt it's possible to be happy this way. There are couple therapists who suggest otherwise (Michael Mary is a german guy who is famous f... (read in full...)
Why did she marry me if she had no attraction for me?
Q. Wife suddenly tells me she has no attraction towards me... According to her this has happened 2 years ago. She stayed on to hope things will improve. I am devastated. She never really pull up major quarrels with me till she drop this bomb ...
A. 9 October 2014: Dear OP,
I can understand this is very, very hurtful, especially if you, in turn, feel attracted to her.
But it can happen this way. Women aren't exactly encouraged to follow their desire when it comes to choosing a lifetime partner. We are ... (read in full...)
How do I let him know he needs to step up as a man and woo me?
Q. BIG DILEMMA. My LDR boyfriend who has been chatting me up non-stop everyday is coming to visit me next month. His plans according to him is to hopefully meet my parents, discuss his plans to relocate and scout around my town for business and futu...
A. 8 October 2014: Dear OP,
My advice is, take a deep breath. If you feel under pressure, then first maybe strive for less than offering him the most perfectly organized 5 weeks of his life. Leave some room open for improvisation. You've been only on one date bef... (read in full...)
My girlfriend runs hot and cold. We are engaged but she has cut down the time we spend together!
Q. hi im a gay woman in my 30s and engaged to my girlfriend who i dont live with but i do stay most nights and go home a couple of nights a week because she did want space and not to live together until were married which is all fair enough. i know all ...
A. 8 October 2014: Dear OP,
This can mean two things:
1) You're too clingy for her and she feels that if you two should have a future together, you need to give her space.
I completely understand if she doesn't want you around her at her workspace or whe... (read in full...)
Would like to find some genuine age-gap dating sites but don't want any scam sites. How do I attract women 10-15 years younger than myself?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 35 year old male who lives in the UK. I prefer younger women aged between 20 and 30 and would like some suggestions for genuine age gap dating sites. Before anyone asks: no, I am not looking for a notch on my bedpost or '...
A. 6 October 2014: Dear OP,
With the kind of age gap you are looking for, I think you can just go and try on any regular online dating site. Don't make a big deal out of your preference for younger women, it's not like it's such an unnormal thing, it's pretty c... (read in full...)
Haven't dated for a while. How frank should I be about my expectations if I sleep with a guy?
Q. Been out of the dating game for a while. I'm going on a date next week and I'm attracted to the dude I don't want to jeopardize seeing each other a second time, but I may want to sleep with him. Seems dumb to me that people would drop others l...
A. 6 October 2014: Dear OP,
I would also wish that we all could think a bit more modern about this. Some of my female friends deliberately hold themselves back from sex when they like a guy, because they are afraid to be perceived as "easy". This leads to boring d... (read in full...)
If I have a healthy libido then why does my husband need to masturbate?
Q. I have discovered that my husband has started masturbating and lying about it. I feel puzzled because I have a healthy libido and he knows it. Why would he do this? Is this a sign of trouble ahead? We have been married for two years. ...
A. 6 October 2014: Dear OP,
Are you sure he just started masturbating.. or hasn't he rather been doing this all the time, just you didn't know?
To me, it would only be a sign of trouble if he's neglecting you and preferring masturbation to having sex with you on ... (read in full...)
What makes a person interesting and why are some people ignored?
Q. what makes a person interesting? Im an accepting and kind/caring person, Im quieter, single,a few friends who I see occasionally but are often very busy, but I enjoy conversation one to one and in small groups and I can be quiet assert...
A. 4 October 2014: Dear OP,
I am sorry you are hurt by some of the advice you are given. Please remember, it's an online site and it's very, very difficult to guess the real problem, when being faced with a written post. There is a lot of room for misunder... (read in full...)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. Is that a turn-off?
Q. Hello my question is pretty simple...is being a virgin at an older age weird or a turn-off? The reason why I ask is because I read online that a some men are turned-off because of the awkwardness during intercourse due to not having any experience. ...
A. 4 October 2014: Dear OP,
The guys that would be turned off by this "flaw" of yours might not be the ones you want to lose your virginity to, anyway.
Whenever you show that you've got personality, some people will not like it. That doesn't matter, because show... (read in full...)
Attractive women: what is it like to be attractive to men, and how do you expect them to behave around you?
Q. You can be walking down the street (or in a store), and men would approach and ask for your name and number. Or you're at the club and they offer to buy you a drink. Pretty much wherever you are, men shower you with attention, even if you just met. ...
A. 3 October 2014: Dear OP,
Before I answer your question, which goes a bit against my tendency to be humble, just let me add that whether or not I feel attractive as a woman depends heavily on the context. In a club full of models I feel rather invisible, but when... (read in full...)
What makes a person interesting and why are some people ignored?
Q. what makes a person interesting? Im an accepting and kind/caring person, Im quieter, single,a few friends who I see occasionally but are often very busy, but I enjoy conversation one to one and in small groups and I can be quiet assert...
A. 2 October 2014: Dear OP,
I am not sure why you always know things last. But my first guess is that you are ignoring a common unwritten rule: that people share more information with those who also share more information.
They made studies about this and i... (read in full...)
He's terminally ill but I have feelings for him. Is it best to walk away?
Q. I have feelings for an older, terminally ill man. It was a crush at first, we both had serious relationships end (his wife left him and I left my boyfriend) so we'd talk all the time. One night, we were almost intimate but stopped...anyway, I get so ...
A. 1 October 2014: Dear OP,
My advice would be to just have an open talk about this with him, as all of us agony aunts could only guess about his feelings.
Maybe it's not as black-and-white.. maybe he would like you to be there sometimes, but not all the time... (read in full...)
Could the abuse I suffered as a child explain my same-sex attraction?
Q. I'm 24 years old. As a child and teen, I experienced sexual abuse growing up in Saudi Arabia. My mother is full Saudi and my father is an American military man. I was born in the U.S. and am an american citizen, but moved to Saudi when I was one and ...
A. 30 September 2014: Maybe you'll also like this article on bisexuality. It's about women who are bisexual and currently have a relationship with men. It may sound off topic for you, because you are with a woman, but these ladies might reassure you that those feelings ... (read in full...)
Could the abuse I suffered as a child explain my same-sex attraction?
Q. I'm 24 years old. As a child and teen, I experienced sexual abuse growing up in Saudi Arabia. My mother is full Saudi and my father is an American military man. I was born in the U.S. and am an american citizen, but moved to Saudi when I was one and ...
A. 30 September 2014: Dear OP,
I'm a bisexual woman and I am quite sure that no, it's not the abuse that caused the attraction. You are maybe bisexual, or even lesbian. Maybe it was easier for you to find a girlfriend than a boyfriend that you can trust, but you coul... (read in full...)
The 40 Year Old (Almost) Virgin
Q. Hey Aunties! I turned 41 years old this year and while I am not a virgin I am close! Back in college (1992-1993) I did have a gf that I had sex with for about 6 months but that has been the extent of my lifetime sexual activity. Women just aren'...
A. 30 September 2014: Dear OP,
First of all, stop telling yourself that you're a complete loser and that no woman can ever be attracted to you. That's bullshit. You need to dig a little deeper than that to find the real reason why you are still alone, and to move on ... (read in full...)
I'm just having a really hard time dealing with my uncle's death and the guilt is pretty overwhelming at the moment
Q. Hey everyone, this isn't a relationship question but I've been using this site for over a year now and love the advice and help people give on here and thought you guys could give me some for my current situation. Unfortunately my uncle passed ...
A. 29 September 2014: Dear OP,
I am very sorry for your loss.
About death, there are not many smart things that can be said, so more than any words, I feel you need support of the people around you. But I can try to say some things.
I guess it's very natural to... (read in full...)
I feel like I can't compete with my boyfriend's threesome! Should I tell him?
Q. Hi everyone, I have gotten myself into a really, really stupid situation here. My boyfriend and I have been in a very passionate and loving relationship for about two months and I'll just skip the part where I tell you all how perfect everythi...
A. 25 September 2014: Dear OP,
Reading your follow-up everything now becomes way more clear.. YOU made him insecure, honey. Because, being a bisexual woman myself, I know how guys struggle to accept this. And it's a very common prejudice of straight men that they thi... (read in full...)
I feel like I can't compete with my boyfriend's threesome! Should I tell him?
Q. Hi everyone, I have gotten myself into a really, really stupid situation here. My boyfriend and I have been in a very passionate and loving relationship for about two months and I'll just skip the part where I tell you all how perfect everythi...
A. 25 September 2014: Dear OP,
First of all, I think you should question your opinion about the topic of threesomes.. and then you can also talk to it about your boyfriend, because I believe relationships get better, the more you can share with each other and the more... (read in full...)
I'm a crossdresser with a girlfriend relationship problem
Q. So I am a crossdresser and I really love doing it. I have a nice collection of clothes and shoes, etc. Mostly I have done it at home when nobody is around. My girlfriend whom I live with knows about it, and is very supportive of this whih makes my ...
A. 24 September 2014: Dear OP,
I am not sure why your girlfriend is uncomfortable, but maybe it could be that for her, if you try to look realistically like a woman, she will question your gender identity. Maybe she loves you as a man, and she tolerates the cross-dr... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend's pervy behavior makes me question a reconciliation
Q. My ex and I were together for many years. We've been broken up for quite awhile due to various reasons and I've been moving on fairly alright. We're no longer friends on facebook but can see certain recent activity, if we check, and we both do as ...
A. 24 September 2014: Dear OP,
Of course.. in the end, every issue that anyone of us ever has.. is our own issue. That doesn't mean those issues need to be ignored and belittled. Your issue, or better said, your point of view matters. We are ALL subjective beings a... (read in full...)
I'm really hurting after getting a break up text. I don't know how to deal with it!
Q. I was just broken up with over a text message from this guy who I was dating for close to 3 months and we had spent 24/7 together. Over the course of these three months we had gotten really close and he said he had never had a gf that was as carin...
A. 22 September 2014: Dear OP,
I am so sorry and shocked. I have no explanation why someone would do a thing like this. It's atrocious. I mean, as long as you were together he seemed to be a really loving guy. And even after he left he kept telling you that he misses y... (read in full...)
I get bored of people really easily! How can I have a functioning relationship if I can’t be with someone for more than a few hours?
Q. Recently I’ve realized that I tire of people very fast. I’m not much of a talkative person really, but I get incredibly lonely a lot, so I try really hard to force myself to join in with other people. Maybe a month or two back I realized that, a...
A. 15 September 2014: Dear OP,
Maybe you tire of people so fast because you force yourself to be around others more often than you like?
I'm a very social person and work with people every day, but if I don't get some time alone when I feel like it, it's just too muc... (read in full...)
How can I get over my fear of erections/seeing women naked?
Q. I go to a very liberal college. At this college, the pool for the dorms is actually clothing optional. I went down to the pool last night and a few friends were celebrating a birthday. For a while, it was pretty fun... At a certain point, everybody ...
A. 15 September 2014: Dear OP,
I think it's perfectly normal for a man to have an erection when seeing a naked woman/naked women.
So, I think there's a reason there were mostly naked females in the pool.. the guys may have had the same problem as you and avoided it f... (read in full...)
I feel she was leading me on and then she pulled the carpet out from under my feet!
Q. A long time female friend, (know her 50 years) and I both divorced. We date as friends. During one of our dates she talked about sex. She told me she hasn't had sex in 7 years. It kind of sounded like an invitation, so I asked her if she'd have sex ...
A. 14 September 2014: Dear OP,
There is no reason to feel ugly or to resent her. After knowing you for 50 years, she sees you as a very important person, but your role in her life is clearly defined: A friend.
I am bisexual but I have platonic female and male friends... (read in full...)
It's the best relationship I've had by far, but she's too controlling
Q. Ok..I admit I have been a bit of a naughty boy in the past, but to be fair some women are so stupid, I think we share the blame. I am 55 year old man. I am divorced and my partner asked me to leave her home. I admit I have (in the past) been unfai...
A. 13 September 2014: Dear OP,
This sounds like a post written by Charlie Sheen on Two-and-a-half-men.
You call women stupid for believing your bullshit.. yet you get all whiny when your partner suddenly doesn't trust you anymore. So much for double standards... (read in full...)
Three years of emails and now he wants FWB?
Q. When I have known someone for three years and there is no relationship. Just emails. Three dates for coffee and chatting. Emails only. Now he has indicated he can only be friends with benefits as that is the only thing that works for him he ...
A. 12 September 2014: Dear OP,
You are tired - rightfully so! Find yourself a real deal.. a man who wants to be there, physically, emotionally and through communication. Those emails have become a way to spend some time while waiting for something better. For the both... (read in full...)
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