How do I come out as bisexual to my parents?
Q. I am bisexual. Ive known this fact since like age six. It is NOT a phase . I really like girls and I really like guys. I don't like keeping this from my parents, it just feels awkward. They are straight lgtb allies, so its nnot like they will be ...
A. 10 February 2014: Dear OP,
Since your parents are LGBT friendly, there is nothing to worry about. I don't think there's a rush to come out to them just yet. This is puberty and you have every right to figure things out and to find your way, without your parents ... (read in full...)
Could my ex have undetected HIV if he received a blood transfusion years ago, before blood testing was standard procedure?
Q. I have a concern, not mentioned on the site before to my knowledge. It involves HIV from blood transfusions. I've noticed that in the years where a potential partner would be born was when they didn't test for HIV in the blood. So basically is it ...
A. 9 February 2014: Dear OP,
Has your boyfriend ever had a blood transfusion? Given to him by his mother? Or is this some potential horror scenario that you make up in your head, because you're so scared of HIV? Hypothetically, mothers can transmit HIV virus during c... (read in full...)
Is porn really to blame for the relationship problems many women attribute to it?
Q. Spoiler alert. Some may find this misogynistic and or demeaning to women!!! This is the Chicken/Egg paradox. When I was a kid most wives were stay at home moms, were financially dependent on their husbands and were either submissive by choice...
A. 9 February 2014: Dear OP,
I don't find your post mysogynist but I don't agree on some points, I guess. You say "marital problems and divorce rate" have risen during the last years, yet all we know is that the divorce rate has risen. It's not clear at all whether ... (read in full...)
Why do women at night clubs dress provocatively?
Q. Why do the girls at the clubs dress like sluts?? We went to a club last weekend and there were many women barely dressed. One had a dress on so short that her ass was showing and she bent over a few times. Do they really need that much attention?...
A. 7 February 2014: Dear OP,
My guess is that not all the girls in all the clubs "dress like sluts" these days, but that you focus on some particular girls who are dressed too provocatively for your taste.
I sometimes like to dress quite sexy (with my ass still co... (read in full...)
Why would someone want to throw their future away?
Q. This isn't a problem as such, but its something i've been pondering on for a really long time and I wondered if maybe anyone here could give their own opinion on it. I live in a very small town, there isn't to...
A. 6 February 2014: Dear OP,
I can't answer your question completely, but I believe it has to do with believing in yourself and your strength.
You may have had to fight for everything, yet you also got results for fighting. You didn't lose hope and courage. I d... (read in full...)
Am I too boring and weird to ever get a girlfriend?
Q. Lately I've been thinking about future relationships and stuff, and it's just hit me that even if I did get a girlfriend, I would have no idea what to do with her. I do not like the bar or club scene at all. I cannot and do not like to dance an...
A. 6 February 2014: Dear OP,
You aren't too boring or weird to find a girlfriend, but you must find a girl that is somewhat similar to you.
Now.. since you don't go out a lot and your future girlfriend probably doesn't, either.. it's hard to meet. I suggest find... (read in full...)
Do I still have a chance at attracting some 18-29 girl? Even if it's just to have as a friend?
Q. So, I'm 30 years old and I look at my life and feel like the only people I have in it are older people (my family and friends of my father's mostly). Dating-wise, it's gotten to the point where the only attention I ever get is from women at least ...
A. 5 February 2014: Dear OP,
Thank you for the update/clarification. Wiseowle is right, this is a site where you get all kinds of advice from people who don't work in a clinical field. This can be an advantage. But it's true that it's very hard to give advice to stra... (read in full...)
Do I still have a chance at attracting some 18-29 girl? Even if it's just to have as a friend?
Q. So, I'm 30 years old and I look at my life and feel like the only people I have in it are older people (my family and friends of my father's mostly). Dating-wise, it's gotten to the point where the only attention I ever get is from women at least ...
A. 3 February 2014: Dear OP,
My advice: Act as young as the people you want to date. Preferably, start to act like the usual immature 30 year old - no need to live a completely healthy, steady, career-oriented life. Ask yourself how you could make your life a little... (read in full...)
Would it be best to keep my sexuality to myself for now?
Q. I've finally come to terms with my own sexuality as being gay, and I feel as if my parents already have an idea however they're always making a joke of it and have made it quite known that it's not something they agree with! Is it wrong to not tel...
A. 3 February 2014: Dear OP,
You have every right not to tell anybody unless you feel really comfortable. Your sexuality is your own matter and if you feel better keeping it a secret, that's okay for now.
If I was you, I'd see if there is one good friend you ... (read in full...)
After premature ejaculation with sex workers, I'm worried I wouldn't be able to satisfy a future girlfriend
Q. I have never been in a romantic relationship with a woman due to the fact that I tend to be painfully she around women in general. I can only attribute this to the fact that I suffer from a learning disability which has greatly impeded my social ...
A. 2 February 2014: Dear OP,
I am not surprised that you ejaculated prematurely on those occasions you describe. Given your social anxiety and the fact that you didn't really know those women, you were probably quite nervous. And on top of that, I believe that pro... (read in full...)
Is the guy I'm dating a sex addict?
Q. I am concerned that the guy I met online and I am currently dating is possibly a sex addict! I've ignored some obscenities and red flags but now I am confused!!! I like him very much but I can't help but to be concerned with his preoccupation with ...
A. 31 January 2014: Dear OP,
My experience is that there are a few men who will just say (and even make themselves believe) ANYTHING to get into a woman's pants.
You are currently dating one.
It didn't work out with your friend who he approached first, so he ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend keeps pressuring me to perform oral and I hate it.
Q. I don't know how to say all this without coming out like an asshole but please hear me out. My girlfriend keeps pressuring me to go down on her because she goes down on me but I really don't want to. I've tried it before with several girls ...
A. 31 January 2014: Dear OP,
I agree with you that no matter what gender you are, you shouldn't do anything that you don't want when it comes to sex. So, that's for that.
Another thing I realized is that you're quite young and so is your girlfriend, prob... (read in full...)
I feel I'll never attract someone of the same religion because of my looks and personality.
Q. hi... I am really a lost soul at the moment... I come from a Muslim family. My mom is moderate-liberal Muslim and my dad is relatively conservative. So I've been brought up with conflicting views... Anyways, so I'm at uni and I feel too conservat...
A. 31 January 2014: Dear OP,
Are you new at uni? Because if you are, it's natural to feel awkward and as if you don't fit in, sometimes. Maybe all you need is some patience and faith.
It will take time for you to find out how conservative or liberal you are.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never initiates sex!
Q. Dear agony aunts and uncles I am having a slight problem with my bf he never initiates sex. We have been together for almost a year and I can remember only about five times when he has and we have sex at least four times a month I asked him why ...
A. 28 January 2014: Dear OP,
I agree with Cerberus, some people just have lower sex drive. Even men. Of course you can come up with all kinds of theories about why he doesn't fancy you and how he might be cheating behind your back or just use you as an alibi because ... (read in full...)
What can I do? I love her. But got a little boring and repetitive in the bedroom. Yet she refuses to try anything I suggest.
Q. Hi My problem is this, I have been dating my girlfriend now for 4 years in February and things have got a little boring and repetitive for me in the bedroom and without sounding like I'm blaming, it is her. All she wants to do is run the same old...
A. 27 January 2014: Dear OP,
I don't really know how to resolve this, the only thing I believe to know is that pushing her won't help. My hope would be that if you stop always making the first move when it comes to sex and if you stop asking for new things, she will... (read in full...)
Should I put sex on hold?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have an amazing relationship and I love him with all my heart but the issue lies with our sex life. The thing is, Are love is so strong, but at the same time so is the sexual chemistry. I am A Christian so for me, I feel as th...
A. 26 January 2014: Dear OP,
This post might be critical towards a certain interpretation of the christian religion, so decide for yourself if you want to read it:
There are many ways to be spiritual and follow a religion. There are those who put a lot of emphasi... (read in full...)
How to friendzone a hookup?
Q. I met this guy at a party last semester and we really hit it off!!! we hung out a few times and ended up having sex twice... unfortunatly the sex was terrible and his pen15 was ridiculously small... it makes me really sad to say but it kinda ruined ...
A. 25 January 2014: Dear OP,
You can't friendzone him, because you are not his friend. He was a hookup and now you don't want to hook up with him anymore, that's not enough common ground - and too much sexual past - to build a friendship.
He won't understand... (read in full...)
What can I do to finally meet my valentine after eleven years of no dating?
Q. Dear Cupid ,I really want a valentine I haven"t been in a relationship for 11 years now my kids are grown and my son is about to graduate and is going off to a higher education I can't really get out cause I am a caregiver for my mom who is an ...
A. 24 January 2014: Dear OP,
For last christmas, I really wanted someone to kiss under the mistle toe.. didn't happen :(. I don't say this to discourage you, just maybe after 11 years of being single, wanting someone until Valentine's Day is a bit of a rush?
F... (read in full...)
Why would a guy check out a woman's profile if he wasn't interested in dating her?
Q. I wanted to ask why a guy would check out a woman's profile if he wasn't interested in dating her? I went on a date with a guy who was interested in me in the beginning he complimented me constantly and told me how much he liked the way I look, but ...
A. 22 January 2014: Dear OP,
If a guy has been single for some time, he gets hesitant to give up this new found freedom and commit to somebody new. So, after the first date, he might have decided he isn't ready to go further.. or he thought you're good looking,... (read in full...)
Do girls do this if they are interested?
Q. why do girls do this? I went on a date with a girl last night and she was on her phone for the momst of the time and talking about other guys that are interested in her, talking about previous love interests, and acting cold. she even invited ...
A. 22 January 2014: Dear OP,
I'm a woman, I used to be a girl, but I don't understand this behavior. It's nothing a woman would usually do - unless she thinks you're gay or have been like a good friend forever. Anyway, it's not a sign of interest.. rather that she... (read in full...)
Venting to my friends leaves trouble behind
Q. I've recently noticed that I tend to cause unnecessary drama in my relationships and I don't know how to fix it. When I'm in a relationship and we argue or bicker about simple mundane things I tend to go around and tell my friends what happens. By ...
A. 21 January 2014: Dear OP,
You already realized that there's a problem, so that's something.
There are three things you can do:
1) Find better times to meet your friends than when you're angry and better things to do than venting. Set up dates with them t... (read in full...)
This habit is killing me from the inside!
Q. hello .. i am 21 and a virgin... my problem is that though i do gymming and practice yoga at times .. i have a bad habit of masturbating on every alternating days. i don't have any girlfriend . i watch too much of porn and i can't stop myself from ...
A. 21 January 2014: Dear OP,
There is no bad health consequences from masturbating as often as you do. I actually think it improves the quality of your sperm. And it's relaxing. And very normal for a guy at your age.
If you live in a conservative society, mas... (read in full...)
Why would a guy ask this question" do you think you are pretty enough for me?"
Q. Why would a guy ask this question" do you think you are pretty enough for me?" Please help me understand why the guy I am seeing might ask that? I'm really not sure it came out of no where he texted that to me and I answered as truthfully as I could ...
A. 20 January 2014: Dear OP,
There are two options: Either it was a really lame joke (he wanted to be funny when he's actually not..) OR he is a really arrogant and stupid person who doesn't deserve your attention.
To me, this doesn't sound like he wants to get ... (read in full...)
I'd like to meet and start dating someone but my circumstances make it difficult!
Q. I'm 28, from the North Midlands in the United Kingdom, disabled (but not physically) and bisexual, don't mention it to many people, it doesnt define me, it's not obvious to most people. (for both things, disability and bisexual). I'm mainly ...
A. 16 January 2014: Dear OP,
I am not going to give you advice on where to meet people. You already know that. (My only advice about the "where" is don't go to a television show, they exploit people for public amusement and I highly doubt you'll meet the love of ... (read in full...)
I never slept with anyone or did anything more than kissing, I want to move in with my boyfriend but the past is haunting me!
Q. Hi there I am tormented. Sorry if this is long but i want to explain everything. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. In the beginning things weren't good. We argued A LOT. He played computer games and neglected me or would leave me...
A. 16 January 2014: Dear OP,
I'm not sure whether you are the one with the biggest secret.. I mean, do you think your boyfriend only wrote some dirty messages and did nothing more, back then when you were away at uni?
He's probably cheated on you and had sex with... (read in full...)
Lately I haven't felt connected to anyone or anything
Q. I am a 24 year old woman living in my state capital working as an AmeriCorps*VISTA. I have no health insurance, no money, and no close family except an aging set of grandparents who live in my hometown, about an hour away. In October (3 months ago), ...
A. 13 January 2014: Dear OP,
I've been going through several depressive episodes in my life and your post just sounds like a good description of what happened to me.
You feel like life has no more meaning and you feel numb, unable to love, unable to care. Unable ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a 'beached whale'.
Q. My fiance referred to me as a "beached whale" during sex (in the context of a conversation while not having sex). I'm usually on bottom for a few reasons. He can barely stay hard when I'm on top (not sure why), neither of us can really reach orgasm ...
A. 12 January 2014: Dear OP,
You've just recovered from a severe eating disorder, so no, I don't suggest you try to lose any weight right now. With your background it might be really hard to "just lose a few pounds", might even escalate into a new form of eating p... (read in full...)
He said I pushed him into getting married
Q. After watching a movie with my husband about a very possessive women who was trying to force her bf into marriage and when he wouldn't she went absolutely nuts (funny movie by the way) My Husband looks over at me and says all women want is to get ...
A. 12 January 2014: Dear OP,
Memories are a weird thing: We mostly remember what is in alignment with our mood. Sad people remember sad things, happy people remember happy things.
Maybe your husband had some minor doubts back then, about whether to ask you to ma... (read in full...)
I thought it was a sensual thing to do, but maybe I'm wrong?
Q. The other day I was on a date with a friend of mine who I'm kind of seeing casually at the moment. Everything with that is going just fine, but something she said to me really puzzled me. Now I'm not really great at being able to read body language ...
A. 12 January 2014: Dear OP,
I agree with Cindycares.. her problem was not the gesture itself, but that it came from someone she only sees as a f**kbuddy. So the whole point is NOT to be too romantic and relationship-like, right?
If you act to romantically in ... (read in full...)
I have a fantasy, but is it too 'out there' to share with her?
Q. I have a strong desire to cum in my girlfriend's long hair, but I know it will be really messy and difficult to get out. How can I bring this fantasy up to my girlfriend? Do you think she will think I'm weird? If you are a woman would you allow a ...
A. 12 January 2014: Dear OP,
I fully agree with what tasteofindia already said. If you're in a serious relationship with the woman, of course you can share this fantasy. We can't predict how she'll react, neither can you, but it's going to be easier if you tell her... (read in full...)
Why can I give a one night stand oral sex but not to someone I am in a relationship with?
Q. I don't know why I am like this but in the past I have not been able to give a guy a blowjob who I am in a serious relationship with - which included my ex husband. Yet I have had no problem doing that with a couple of one night stands since. The ...
A. 8 January 2014: Dear OP,
What comes to mind when you think of blow-jobs? Is it something you consider "nasty"? I don't know the answer to your question, just a first quick guess would be that you find giving head somewhat embarrassing, so you're less ashamed ... (read in full...)
She gets upset when I point out I provide most of the money.
Q. Ive been with my girlfriend for a year and I really love her. But I think I pushed her away. We've been fighting alot. Mainly because of me throwing everything up in her face. I work and pay for all the bills. She works in a day care but isnt ...
A. 6 January 2014: Dear OP,
I guess she means it and I understand why. She's probably not a lazy or greedy person and would like to pay her own bills. Yet, she is not getting any hours, has no money and you constantly remind her of that fact. As if she didn't k... (read in full...)
How do I tell them in bed ..... "dont do that"?
Q. So I've been with a few partners so far, I use birth control and condoms and all that and get tested regularly and make sure my partners do the same. Almost every guy I've been with does a few things that I do not like, things that are almost a ...
A. 5 January 2014: Dear OP,
I know what you mean.. guys are often clueless, or they just do what their ex liked. What I found helpful: If I like something, I tell the guy, or I make approving "sounds"..I encourage him to do it more. That way he learns what I like a... (read in full...)
She and me, we are a pair of cheaters!
Q. i'll keep things simple my girlfriend went to a new years party and did shrooms n ectasy and had sex with another guy and she told me about it. i have cheated one her before but i told her and then she cheated one me after that now she did it ...
A. 5 January 2014: Dear OP,
You don't have a right to be angry at her. You two are quite the same and at least she can blame it on the drugs this time. Mushrooms and ecstasy can really diminish your ability to make good decisions.
But that's just one detail. This... (read in full...)
Why am I like this? Am I racist?
Q. I am nearly 19 and still never had a boyfriend. Or been kissed. It could just be because of my introverted personality, my pickiness (cause I like a good characteristics) or because of the whole 'waiting for the right guy' thing, but personally, I'm ...
A. 4 January 2014: Dear OP,
You are overanalyzing things, because you're still single and so you're scared that something's wrong with you. This is very self-destructive and won't get you anywhere.
I am white, blonde and have blue eyes.. and visually, I pref... (read in full...)
Our sexual interests are completely opposite. Can I satisfy my needs elsewhere?
Q. I am happily engaged to an amazing man; we are getting married this coming October. He is my best friend, and an incredible person. I love him so much, and the thought of him being hurt is just too much for me to bear. However, when it comes to...
A. 3 January 2014: Dear OP,
My advice: Talk to your partner.
And be very honest. You are engaged, dear, and that means you both should be able to live together for the rest of your lives without having secrets and without lying to each other. You don't want to star... (read in full...)
Why are women so judgemental about guys who want to or have experimented with other guys?
Q. Why is it seen as such a HUGE deal BY WOMEN if a guy wants to experiment with another guy? Girls can already agree that that most, if not many guys LIE and CHEAT, is it so hard to believe that they can fuse those two together and TRY, just TRY an...
A. 1 January 2014: Dear OP,
I wouldn't mind at all if a guy had experimented with other guys or would like to do so. Actually, I find it rather sexy if a guy admits to such experiments and it's a plus to me, when I meet someone who is bi-curious or bisexual... (read in full...)
My husband's sexual fetish frightens me
Q. Recently me and my husband had a romantic night in together, the night went well, it was on the day after Boxing Day. We had a lovely dinner and a romantic day in; the dinner was candlelit and my husband cooked it, not me! We were discussing each ...
A. 30 December 2013: Dear OP,
Talking about a fetish is really, really hard. So your husband opening up to you shows me that he wants to have a very true and intimate relationship with you.
Of course you can think he's weird, but fetishes just "happen". Develo... (read in full...)
How can I be myself when I have no confidence?
Q. I am a 36 year old man. I Have no confidence when it comes to chatting to ladies. People always tell me to just be myself but that seems to me like i am not good enough. Any advice would be very appreciated. ...
A. 30 December 2013: Dear OP,
"Just be yourself" is a difficult advice to follow. Because you are always yourself, anyway, technically speaking.
I think what others are trying to tell you is that they like you and they want to let you know. They want to encourage yo... (read in full...)
Why is it more acceptable for women to use sex toys than it is for men?
Q. just a tought. why is it totally acceptable for girls the use of vibrators / stimulators and when it comes to males, the use of them makes you be seen as a perv, weirdo, looser... etc, etc... im in a ldr and we see each other every 3 months. My gf ...
A. 29 December 2013: Dear OP,
I don't have a problem with a guy using sex toys. And I agree this is just a double standard.
But to explain the "why": I guess that men using sex toys is quickly associated with men being passive, using butt plugs or dildos. Which I ... (read in full...)
I told her I was socially awkward and she laughed it off.
Q. I spent a day with a girl I like and her friend. I'm kinda socially awkward and didn't say much to them at all. It was really ridiculous on my behalf. She did say that she wanted to see me again so I don't think I came off too weird or creepy. So ...
A. 28 December 2013: Dear OP,
Just be patient and wait it out. Maybe she wants to see you again, maybe not. Either way, it was brave of you to go and spend a day with two girls when you feel socially awkward. See it as a success, or at least as a good step in the righ... (read in full...)
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