He's gone off sex and I don't know why
Q. My partner has suddenly gone off sex and I don't know why. We've been together for a couple of years and up until a few months ago we would have sex 3-4 times a week. Now all of a difference its once a week maximum. He says hes tired every night. ...
A. 14 November 2013: Dear OP,
He says he's tired, goes to bed early and falls asleep right away. Sounds like a reasonable and honest explanation.
If it really bothers you and you're worried, as Tisha already suggested, bring it up. Not in an accusatory way, ... (read in full...)
His track record of one-night-stands really showed when we finally got intimate
Q. Hi aunts, Some advice would be great! Around 8 months ago I walked away from my 4 year relationship after not being happy for a long time. It was the right decision for myself and the relationship I feel. Around 5 months ago I met anoth...
A. 14 November 2013: Dear OP,
If I was in his shoes, I'd appreciate if you are honest about your discomfort -and suggest how you would prefer it to happen. I mean, how would he know you don't like this? If you're honest, you might hurt his ego for a few minutes,... (read in full...)
Is this penis envy?
Q. I am not sure where to start. I guess I should be straightforward. I have been feeling real envious more so lately of the male anatomy, well, the penis. Yes penis envy probably. Anyway, whenever I masturbate I have to think of my partner getting ...
A. 11 November 2013: Dear OP,
Every now and then, I wish I was a man. I like penis (and pussy as well, but that's another story :)). I admire penises, they're fascinating and I would love to know what it feels like to have one. To pee standing, to jack off, to cum..... (read in full...)
Why do abusive men see me as a target to be mistreated?
Q. Dear Cupid I was once in love with my Ex we went our own ways because he turned out to be very abusive mentally and physically I left him. As time went on I ran into another guy who treated me like a queen everyday of my life then he turned out to...
A. 10 November 2013: Dear OP,
You met two abusive men in your life. To me, this sounds like it could be a pattern.. but actually, it could also be just an unlucky coincidence.
I found out for myself that I attract very weird guys. Like, the kind of guys that would ... (read in full...)
I don't want to come across as a stalker, but my feelings for her are only getting stronger
Q. Sorry for the length, any advice is really appreciated. 6 1/2 years ago I met a women who from the moment we were introduced I felt a connection and we clicked, for 2 years from that initial point I questioned my feelings towards this person, ...
A. 10 November 2013: Dear OP
- please, snap out of it!
You don't love that woman, you love an idea of her and you together that never turned into reality. The word "love" is reserved for the kind of affection that has survived the reality of really getting to k... (read in full...)
How do you feel about the woman proposing to the man?
Q. This question is for everyone: How do you feel about the woman proposing to the man?...
A. 9 November 2013: Dear OP,
I think it would be best if the partner was proposing who seemed a little more doubtful and a little less committed in the past, as a sign that she or he is now ready to settle down and make a choice for life.
If the proposal com... (read in full...)
Any kind words or bits of advice on surviving this breakup?
Q. Hey guys. I'm an regular aunt on this page. I'm in need of some help and kind words myself at this moment. My gf broke up with me a couple of days ago and I'm hurting really badly. She has serious anxiety and has difficulty separating one is...
A. 7 November 2013: Dear llifton,
I know your good advice and I am so sorry that this is happening to you.
Many good things have already been said.
My advice would be to stop the inner blame game. Or at least stop blaming yourself, because I can see with you'd b... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend is depressed and cuts people, including me, off. What should I do?
Q. Okay so I don't know what's going on. A few weeks ago I started dating my boyfriend. Everything was going well, and we were both so into each other, but all of the sudden, one night he started acting distant and funny towards not just me, but ...
A. 5 November 2013: Dear OP,
I don't want to tell you what to do, because I don't think there's only one right way here. And also I don't know about your qualities and the qualities of the guy you're dating. So far, all we know is he has a problem and you want to ... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend is depressed and cuts people, including me, off. What should I do?
Q. Okay so I don't know what's going on. A few weeks ago I started dating my boyfriend. Everything was going well, and we were both so into each other, but all of the sudden, one night he started acting distant and funny towards not just me, but ...
A. 3 November 2013: Dear OP,
Your boyfriend has a clinical depression, so first of all it's important you believe it has nothing to do with you. It's not your fault, it's not caused by you.. and it's not in your responsibility to heal him.
What you can do, is:
1... (read in full...)
Is there a link between impulsiveness and cheating?
Q. Just a quick, general question. Do you guys think there is a link between impulsive behavior and cheating? My bf has never struck me as a cheater and I've been with him for quite some time now. He has never seemed in the least bit shady. however, he ...
A. 1 November 2013: Dear OP,
I don't think you can make that connection. Because people can be impulsive in one set of actions but not the other. Maybe he's an impulsive buyer, that doesn't mean he's an impulsive cheater.
I think it's safest to say, if a person... (read in full...)
Could it be smegma or semen? Or is it evidence of cheating?
Q. this is a serious question if a man has a white powdery ring around his foreskin head does that mean he cheated and had sex? is that smegma? He is uncircumsized ....when he pulled back the skin I saw white clumpy stuff under the skin looks like ...
A. 1 November 2013: Dear OP,
Chigirl said it all.
It's smegma, not dry semen, not "female discharge", not the leftover of his condom use.. just good old smegma.
... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with my manager if he want to?
Q. I am 19 and I work part-time as a server. We have this kind of newish manager, he's 31, that started about 5-7 months ago. When he first started working there, I HATED him. I mean seriously disliked the guy. He was arrogant, rude, cocky an demanded ...
A. 31 October 2013: Dear OP,
Are you willing to risk your job? If yes, go ahead. If you somehow need this money and some financial safety.. don't do it. Apologize and say this has already gone too far and you think it's a bad idea in the end.
To me, the guy stil... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being labeled "The Nice Guy"
Q. Now this isnt a post of how the jerks get the guys and nice guys dont ... ha lets be fair the main thing that women like in these is the confidence and assertieness that they have .. but what winds me up is Im never going to one of them guys , you ...
A. 29 October 2013: Dear OP,
Some good things have already been said. So I just add a few thoughts that came to mind while reading..
Put yourself first. Be a bit more egoistical - in a good way. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be helpful anymore. Just that you sh... (read in full...)
What should I do to be more masculine?
Q. So I come here often for advice, so I am here again. This is something that has bothered for me for a long time. I am gay, and I am totally okay with it. But I seem to be very effeminate. I have always thought of myself as masculine, but m...
A. 27 October 2013: Dear OP,
.. so, you don't want to hear the "love yourself" advice..okay.. I was actually going to tell you that, because I think effeminate men are a rare and beautiful species (that I'd like to protect from extinction;)).
Anyway. I think all of... (read in full...)
Gay and ginger, is there any hope?
Q. Hi all, I would be very grateful for any advice so here it goes. Im a 22 year old guy and I have just accepted that I am gay and I'm not out to anyone. I'm also very unfortunate to have Ginger hair too. I have been a quiet and shy guy all my life ...
A. 27 October 2013: Dear OP,
Macklemore is a ginger and I am sure he's considered a hottie in the gay and straight world. So I wouldn't worry about the ginger thing. Variety makes the world a beautiful place. And you can use this to your advance, too. Because ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of my sex drive?
Q. I'm a 26 year-old single male, and I'm sick of my sex drive. Absolutely, 100% sick of it. People talk about sex like it's one of the great joys of life, but as far as I can tell, it's more burden than blessing. I'm sick of thinking about sex all the ...
A. 27 October 2013: Dear OP,
It seems to me that your sex drive is not the real problem. Problem is that you're depressed and frustrated at the moment. Not just about sex, about love I guess, about life, about you. You should immediately get help about this. If you d... (read in full...)
Dumpers guilt relapse! Why is this happening?
Q. Hi, I feel like I'm experiencing dumpers guilt relapse! My ex-girlfriend and I broke up back in June after spending a year and a half. I regard our relationship as the greatest relationship I have ever been in. Unfortunately, as the relationsh...
A. 11 October 2013: Dear OP,
Yes, I know this feeling, I guess it's very natural. But in my opinion, it's best to just ignore it and move on. You can't turn back time, even though sometimes you wish you could. And maybe these feelings are just there because you've n... (read in full...)
I worry that my girlfriend misses other women!
Q. Hi. I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 3 years now and we live together and have a daughter. Thing is, she's bisexual. I often find myself worrying she misses other women. I've tried asking her and talking but she just says no and won't talk. ...
A. 11 October 2013: Dear OP,
When reading your post, I had a feeling I want to share some things.
1) Bisexuality does NOT mean you constantly NEED romantic and sexual relationships with both sexes. It means you are more open what person you choose, but then, when y... (read in full...)
Vibrators - are they all penetrative?
Q. Hi, We've discussed vibrators and wanted to know if vibrators have to be inserted? my wife always has clitoral orgasms and is not comfortable with anything being inserted into her. Having a brief look, it looks like they need to be penetrative w...
A. 29 September 2013: Dear OP,
I've got a penis-shaped vibrator at home, but I never insert it. I just hold it to the sensitive spots and enjoy. I don't know why a lot of vibrators are penis-shaped.. but anyway, I don't use them like a penis. Vibrators are often ma... (read in full...)
How Can I Help Him Help Me Cum?
Q. I've never came before. I've been having sex since turning 17 4 years ago and not one of my ex' that I had sex with made me cum, nor has my current boyfriend. I find receiving oral (in a way) very ticklish and feel like I can't take anymore but...
A. 27 September 2013: Dear OP,
Do you ever masturbate? I would suggest that you try different ways to make yourself orgasm with your hands. Maybe this will take some practice. I guess you could find some instructions about masturbation online, although I never checked.... (read in full...)
Are my friends right and I'm in denial?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I'm usually giving advice on this site, but some of the posts here had me rethink my dating behavior and my good friends recently hint that I might be in denial of something, so here's my story. Throughout my youth, I felt li...
A. 25 September 2013: Hi dear agony aunts,
I don't know if any of you are still following this.. but I went to a lesbian/gay party last week and enjoyed it so much. Met a beautiful woman there as well and we made out :). Was really nice, though she's still in love wit... (read in full...)
Can I assume every guy going to a gay bar is gay?
Q. I'm 26, and have recently tried to go to a gay bar alone, but don't spend too long there, because I'm not very confident going there, but I suppose it's the only real way to meet other gay people in my semi-rural area. Where I live there isn't much ...
A. 8 September 2013: Dear OP,
Yesterday I was at a lgbt club and a beautiful woman asked if I was a lesbian.. To me, there's nothing wrong with that question when you're showing some interest in a person (and don't ask it in an accusing way, like "are you even gay... (read in full...)
If a crush lasts for several years, does that mean it's actually love?
Q. I have heard that a crush would slow down and finally disappear, but I wonder how long it lasts. If a crush lasts for 2.5 years and you see the person on a daily basis, is it still a crush? I have read that crush is infatuation or lust so it can't ...
A. 8 September 2013: Dear OP,
I guess it can still be a crush. As chigirl said, to love someone means you really know that person and still want to be around them. If you know about his flaws, his bad habits, his moments of crisis, how he acts when he's angry or sad, ... (read in full...)
I don’t understand myself anymore
Q. Dear all, I will start with a small introduction; I am 28 and had only one single romantic relationship in life. After the breakup, I started a hellish dry spell that still lasts to this day (more or less 3 years now). After doing a lot to improve...
A. 8 September 2013: Dear OP,
Since I've also been on a dry spell (maybe due to different reasons than you, but okay), I think I can give you one thought..
.. maybe nothing is wrong with you at all. maybe you're just smart and you can see that you and those girls ... (read in full...)
Does "trauma bonding" ever go away?
Q. I left an emotional and physically abusive relationship, but still i am experiencing "trauma bonding" I moved to another town so he wouldn't find me, so i never see him Does the trauma bonding ever stop? Please advice on how to cope......
A. 8 September 2013: Dear OP,
Very well done! To get some physical and geographical distance from that man is already one of the most important steps. Stay "no contact" at all costs, never call or text him, delete his number and forget it if you can.
It takes time... (read in full...)
Why am I the one always making decisions on dates?
Q. Hi, why is it that everytime I go on dates, I'm always asked to make decisions on where to go, what to do, what to talk about... I don't mind doing it a few times but I'm always expected to find things to do, it gets annoying. I understand that ...
A. 7 September 2013: Dear OP,
Thanks for this post - I've got the opposite problem. When dating, the guys often take charge of everything.. when and where we meet, what to do, what to talk about, when to pay the bill or kiss or say good-bye. I find it really annoying... (read in full...)
Should I ask my girlfriend if she enjoys sex?
Q. Lately after sex with my girlfriend i have been asking her if she enjoyed it or if she had fun. Is this bad? And i don't know why i started asking her that. Maybe i feel like she does not enjoy it? By me asking would that make her less attracted to ...
A. 6 September 2013: Dear OP,
Contrary to the other agony aunts, I think that it's actually a good question to ask. Because, who knows, maybe she isn't really enjoying it that much if she leaves you in doubt. I disagree that women only need and want a confiden... (read in full...)
Has anyone been in therapy and tell me how long it took before they saw any positive results?
Q. Has anyone been in therapy and tell me how long it took before they saw any positive results? I suffer from severe depression. This particular episode (which has lasted nearly 4 years) has been really hard to shift. I have been seeing a therapi...
A. 5 September 2013: Dear OP,
I don't think 6 months is "early days" for treating a depressive episode and this is a lame thing to say to someone who is in the middle of a depression. Your symptoms seem to be very chronic (4 years) and you can't expect to just get... (read in full...)
Are my friends right and I'm in denial?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I'm usually giving advice on this site, but some of the posts here had me rethink my dating behavior and my good friends recently hint that I might be in denial of something, so here's my story. Throughout my youth, I felt li...
A. 4 September 2013: Dear agony aunts,
Thank you so much for your answers - @anonymous, I didn't know I had a signature style until now :).
Each post has made me think about my situation.
@Tisha-1: I don't know why I think I need a life partner. Or even a stead... (read in full...)
How do I relieve my loneliness? Many guys just want one thing.
Q. I am 30 years old and a single mum of 2 kids. They are 11 and 7. I have been single for 5 years. I recently graduated from university and have a good job. I live in a nice part of town. I have a good circle of friends many are settled down wit...
A. 28 August 2013: Dear OP,
As a single myself, I realize many men (but by far not all of them!!) are only after sex. The solution to this problem is simple, although not easy: Turn down their offers and keep looking for someone else. I came to realize you need per... (read in full...)
I now have an erection whenever I kiss my gf. How can I stop this awkward reaction?
Q. My girlfriend and I were making out and it went a little further. We ended up doing oral. Now I every time we kiss I get an erection. Even just regular "goodbye" kisses. I didn't have a problem with this before. How can I stop it from happening? I ...
A. 28 August 2013: Why stop it from happening if you can hide it? I find it awesome if a guy gets an erection while kissing me! Maybe your gf feels about this the same way.. I mean, us women sometimes feel very empowered when we see we can cause such a reaction. ... (read in full...)
What is the best way to handle sexual frustration?
Q. This maybe a silly question.. but its not meant to be in a crude way.. but lately I've been finding I'm very sexual frustrated, understanding as I have been without a partner in 3 years.. but lately this year it has been worse, I keep seeing ...
A. 28 August 2013: Dear OP,
May I add my advice, since I'm also single for 3 years now and I know what you're talking about. So, my recipes:
1) Have a busy social life, go out, party, travel, even if it's just a day trip! Distraction is what makes you happy ... (read in full...)
I need both my husband and my lover
Q. So ive been married for 18 years, we have 4 children all teens. Extremely unhappy since 2007. We always had a sort of toxic relationship. Fighting (just words) , making up, great sex..etc. In 2005 he was involved in a business that required alot of ...
A. 27 August 2013: Dear OP,
I agree with eyeswideopen that you should see a lawyer about all this, maybe he can tell you if you're really financially trapped or not. Your marriage sounds like an unhealthy arrangement and you'll be better off without it in the long... (read in full...)
Is it OK for me to ask a girl to dress the way I like girls to dress when we go out?
Q. I would appreciate opinions on how to approach this, or indeed if to say anything at all. I seem to have some type of "fetish" where if a girl is dressed in a certain kind of way, she becomes irresistable to me. Not sluttish, certain types of...
A. 26 August 2013: Dear OP,
If I was you, I wouldn't mention that on the first date. If you're in a relationship it's totally okay to mention things like that.. but when you only start to go out together it can come across as creepy.
She doesn't want to be the p... (read in full...)
Is it rude to masturbate in front of your boyfriend?
Q. Hello, So my boyfriend and I had been on-and-of together for more than 2 years but I was never able to reach an orgasm. Not sure if it is because some women are just hard to get one or it is my problem. We don't see each other as often as we want...
A. 24 August 2013: Dear OP,
If you can come from masturbation, but not with your boyfriend.. you both are having a technical problem. Your body is fine, though.
I can't come during sex unless I or my partner is stimulating my clit at the same time. Penetratio... (read in full...)
How to tell your boyfriend he's starting to look unattractive?!?
Q. My long term boyfriend (29) has really changed his appearance. He used to have gorgeous hair, wear good clothes and look his age. Recently however, he's started to look older and older! He now cuts his hair so short he's nearly bald looking and says ...
A. 24 August 2013: Dear OP,
He probably feels more comfortable now than he felt some years ago, when he was out there, hunting, hungry for female attention. Now he's at home and happy. I guess it's kind of natural he's not trying as hard to impress you as he did b... (read in full...)
Borderline personality disorder is affecting my relationships
Q. Sorry, this is going to be long, but I do really appreciate your help! Here is my full story, for those of you who read/answered my last post. First things first, I am a female who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. If you...
A. 24 August 2013: Dear OP,
First of all, I think it's great you already know what your problem is (borderline) and you're seeing a therapist and getting results! Take your time to appreciate that, you're doing better and you're working on your problems.
Don't o... (read in full...)
Wny advice for speed dating?
Q. Hi, need some quick tips please. I'm a 36 and recently single after a 15 year old marriage that I put to an end. I've never dated before and have signed up for a speed dating event this week. Any tips, dos and donts? I've also relocated and have few ...
A. 24 August 2013: Dear OP,
I'm just home from my first speed dating event and it was so much fun. I didn't meet any guy I want to see again, but everything was well organized and people were friendly. So, maybe you just want to try another agency?
Anyway, I can... (read in full...)
Wny advice for speed dating?
Q. Hi, need some quick tips please. I'm a 36 and recently single after a 15 year old marriage that I put to an end. I've never dated before and have signed up for a speed dating event this week. Any tips, dos and donts? I've also relocated and have few ...
A. 24 August 2013: Dear OP,
I'm also going on a speed dating event tomorrow :)! I tell my good friends about it but I find it's NOT something I want to discuss at work. It depends on the working atmosphere, but in general, I don't want to share more details about my... (read in full...)
Tips for meeting lesbians in the real world not virtual internet
Q. Is it my over thinking or are people really only looking for hookups on online dating? I'm lesbian and I rely on online dating to reach lesbian chics to the masses. My problem is chics just wanna f*ck. Now I love sex, but I'm only into sex with a ...
A. 21 August 2013: Dear OP,
Well, I met my last girlfriend during my education. I was open about being lesbian (rainbow sticker on my cell phone, occasionally wearing rainbow belt and a gay marriage sticker on my handbag), she said she was curious if she was lesb... (read in full...)
What's the difference between pushing for a date and glorified stalking?
Q. I'm not the best with women. I'm OK but not great. One thing I just can't seem to do is be persistent in pursuing a girl I really like because I don't want to be seen as a glorified stalker. If I ask a girl out and she says no, I leave it at that ...
A. 20 August 2013: Dear OP,
You already do it right: you take a 'no' for a no. Many guys still don't get that! They're being told they've got to be persistent.. but really? Can you force attraction to happen, just by determination? I mean, think of it the other wa... (read in full...)
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