I told my porn-addicted fiance that if he looked at porn again, I'm done. I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and guess what?
Q. My now fiance had a porn addiction he was even looking at it at work. I basically told him if you do it again i'm done, this was over a year ago and i never caught him looking at it until now. I'm 37 weeks pregnant I looked at his phone history last ...
A. 17 July 2014: Dear OP,
An addiction is very hard to fight, and relapses are part of the healing process. If you expect your fiance to quit porn completely, from one day to the other, without ever falling back into an old pattern, you might have set the bar too ... (read in full...)
I was left in the dark and he chose to be uncommunicative when we broke up. What went wrong? How to deal with it?
Q. Advice needed on how to deal with being left in the dark. I was seeing someone, it wasn't really going anywhere serious but I liked him .Our last conversation wasn't great- by text - and ended with a question from me. And no answer from him. Being...
A. 17 July 2014: Dear OP,
You have two options:
1) call him and remind him that you want an answer
or
2) realize that you're better off without him, because his communication skills are really bad
Also, I would recommend that in the future, you talk on ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 13 July 2014: Dear OP,
If I leave aside the moral issues here, I feel sorry for you. I can sense that you would actually like things to be different, but you feel like you just don't have any other chance. This makes you sound cynical and takes away your mot... (read in full...)
Do girls REALLY fondle each other to attract male attention?
Q. There is this guy at work, who I will call "John". John is a real chick magnet. Every girl, whether workmate or customer, is attracted to him. E.g. while I am talking to a female customer, she snatches looks at John, and many times smiles to him. ...
A. 13 July 2014: Dear OP,
Most girls don't do this. But..a minority of girls really think this is a great strategy of attracting men and they are even right. It's basically saying "look at me, I am soo experimental, pornstar-style sexy..". It's totally not my s... (read in full...)
How can I move on and overcome all the drama that resulted from my sister's complaint about my Bf and I having sex in my parent's home?
Q. Me and my boyfriend started having sex about 2 months into our relationship. We both lost our virginities to each other so everything was need and exciting, we had sex every time we saw each other which was around 5-6 days a week. Problem was we ...
A. 12 July 2014: Dear OP,
I can understand you feel awkward about this, because until that night, you must have thought you both were being discreet, right? Well, I was in your sisters' position once, I heard my younger brother and his girlfriend have sex. My ... (read in full...)
I've met my soulmate and am ready to settle down, but she says she doesn't feel like it!
Q. So, I think that its time for me to settle down with my soulmate. I met this girl - five times. She is a shy and reserved. Unfortunately, I get told that she feels 'neutral' about me and that she does not 'feel like it.' I would really like to u...
A. 12 July 2014: Dear OP,
If she was your soulmate, she would also feel in love with you and want to settle down. What you describe is just.. falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back. It happens. And you can't build a future based on it.
I am sorr... (read in full...)
Tips to get a man going?
Q. Heya there Aunts and Uncles, So, I'm an eighteen years young rising freshman at college, my boyfriend of over a year and I are starting to make things sexual and I have very little idea what I'm doing. I didn't have much of a sex education, even in ...
A. 12 July 2014: Dear OP,
I also think that it doesn't need much education to start doing this, instead you need to know your boundaries.. what you won't do. And communication. Every man is different, so it's okay to ask what he likes.
But anyway.. if you want ... (read in full...)
Is my husband gay? straight? or just curious?
Q. I'm questioning whether to believe my husband when he says he's not gay or bi after I confronted him about knowing he watched/chatted with a couple trannies this one time that I know of. There were also females he watched/chatted with as well. He ...
A. 11 July 2014: Dear OP,
First, I wanted to answer your question and say that it doesn't matter, because your husband is probably cheating on you anyway.
THEN I noticed that you both 1) seem to be very young and 2) the cheating that you mentioned sounds like ... (read in full...)
How to tell your partner you have HIV?
Q. I recently found I that I am hiv positive. I've only had 3 sex partners. Last year I was dating 2 guys and I was tested last year after sex with them and I was negative. I've been single and haven't been sexually active. I recently started talking ...
A. 10 July 2014: Dear OP,
I am so sorry for you.
Before I say anything, just a question: How long did you wait to get tested after the first two partners? Because HIV antigenes can sometimes only be measured in the blood after about three months. So technically,... (read in full...)
I was afraid for my life but now I'm known as a snitch
Q. So am I a snitch? I've now got the reputation of a snitch and people say I acted like a "white girl". This was a break and we were in the classroom, with no teacher. My friend and this girl were having a verbal fight about throwing paper at ...
A. 10 July 2014: Dear OP,
So, if this was "snitching"... What would have been the "honorable" solution here? To get beaten up so bad you end up at the hospital? Or to hit that other girl until she learned to "respect" you? Or to go after her with your friends,... (read in full...)
How does one avoid date-rape and why DON'T some dates/boyfriends accept "no" for an answer?
Q. **Please mods, I think I ask a lot of important questions here and while I do mention date-rape, I put it in the cleanest way possible. Is there a way to share my experience and questions without it getting deleted? ** There are a lot of posts l...
A. 9 July 2014: Dear OP,
I don't want to give you any smart-ass advice about how to avoid such situations. Because also situations happened to me, to friends too, where our "no" was not respected. And I don't believe there is much that we did wrong. There's ... (read in full...)
15 year age gap is my concern
Q. I met this guy. He is now 56 and I am 41. Both of us have never been married and no children. He has asked me for a commitment to a relationship and I think he will look for marriage later. This is not a short term relationship. He is a smart,...
A. 9 July 2014: Dear OP,
I think that there is never a perfect relationship. Love will always have to overcome some obstacles. If it wasn't the age gap, maybe it would be something else. There is always something that seems to say "hm, this won't work" or "hm, ... (read in full...)
Is any man excited by an average looking female body after watching porn?
Q. I am concerned that my bfs constant access to a never ending stream of physically perfect women in porn to look at and masturbate to is causing him to get bored with my appearance. He simply doesn't seem excited by the sight of me anymore yet if h...
A. 9 July 2014: Dear OP,
In what way are you "not perfect" to him, that other women are? Did he ever tell you that he physically prefers something in women that you don't have? Did he ever tell you he watches porn with women who, in a way, look more perfect ... (read in full...)
One night stand trouble
Q. Dear readers, I wonder does anyone have similar a similar problem: Lately any guy that I have sex with doesn't seem to be able to maintain an erection. I understand that nerves etc. can play havoc and mixed with alcohol can also play havoc, but...
A. 6 July 2014: Dear OP,
Your post is a bit confusing to me, but I try to help you as best as I can.
First of all, if it was your appereance that had caused problems, the guys wouldn't be trying to sleep with you in the first place.
I am wondering, though, w... (read in full...)
My friend says I might be asexual -- I certainly have never had butterflies
Q. This may be a bit of a weird question, but I'm having trouble figuring myself out. I turn down everyone, even the nice ones. The only reason I've been kissed and had sex is because I figured it was a rite of passage and I had to get it over with, ...
A. 6 July 2014: Dear OP,
I am not a specialist about asexuality. But to me, you just sound like so far, you didn't have much luck with love. No pathology or syndrom or orientation has to be added to that, in my opinion.
You need time to trust someone and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is as unromantic as can be
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. We connect so well in everything. He challenges me intellectually, is fun, sweet, affectionate. The thing is, he is as unromantic as a person can be. As an example, he lives right across t...
A. 6 July 2014: Dear OP,
My advice is to not dump a good man over little things.
You will never, ever in your life find somebody who is making you 100% happy and who fulfills ALL of your wishes.
You may find a romantic guy.. who is really bad in bed, kisses y... (read in full...)
He dumped me because I'm polyamourous
Q. Hi, I am a 24-yr-old girl who has just been ditched by the guy she's in love with. I am distraught, any help would be amazing. Basically I've been seeing this guy for five months. From the off I told him I wanted to be polyamorous, and that I was a...
A. 6 July 2014: Dear OP,
I am very moved by your post, because I can identify with your problem.
I think polyamory is something that might work out when you're in a long-term couple, for years, and you need some new "input" in the relationship, something to... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got another girl pregnant
Q. i would like to ask about my boyfriend of six years. he got another girl pregnant. i saw them dating through the pictures in facebook. i ask my boyfriend first but he refuse to answer. thats why i directly ask the girl. she said that my boyfriend is ...
A. 6 July 2014: Dear OP,
I don't see a way in which your boyfriend could stay with you and "fix this".. I am sorry. But I am out of ideas how that could work. My advice is this: When it comes to men, don't just listen to what they say. Every guy can throw ar... (read in full...)
I love her but I feel we should break up
Q. My gf and I have been together for about 4 years and it's been mostly good. But for the past year I have been unhappy. I've tried to determine why I'm unhappy but don't really have a reason. I just am. I've told my gf about my feelings and tried to...
A. 4 July 2014: Dear OP,
I don't think there is a quick fix to your problem, since you have been unhappy for a whole year without naming a real reason.
Breaking up would make sense if you were unhappy with the relationship, and had tried to fix it but then fou... (read in full...)
No birthday present from boyfriend
Q. Hi everyone, I'm just wondering if your new boyfriend of 3 months does not get you a birthday present what would you think to that? He hasn't got much money at all. He got me a card, but I was hoping for a little something. Even some chocolates,...
A. 4 July 2014: Dear OP,
I would be disappointed, too. For me, it's also not about the money. It's about showing that you care. If he didn't have anything, he could still make a nice voucher, for instance for a massage he would give you, or watching your favorite... (read in full...)
I am not trying to be a jerk but I have questions for the ladies here
Q. Why do I read about so many girls who flirt when they don't mean nothing by it and get confused why a guy ends up liking them? Do I have to be official and ask her on a date and flat say it's a date in order for her to know that? Do I ha...
A. 1 July 2014: Dear OP,
You've already been given good advice, I am just adding to what has been said.
"I do not mess around with girls i just met because (sorry) I consider them easy."
is the perfect contradiction to you complaining about :"Do I... (read in full...)
My parents say it's being a teenager. But are my moods, withdrawing, or being gregarious or angry normal for teenagers?
Q. This is something that my friends have said to me, and I do notice that it's happening, but I don't notice what I'm doing. (Just bear with me here) I go through times of complete social inactivity. I don't talk to anyone, I don't play my Xbox, or k...
A. 1 July 2014: Dear OP,
Too many teenagers with mental health problems don't get treated properly because their parents blame everything on puberty and hormones. It's like between the age of 12 and 20, you could go through a suicidal crisis, psychosis, depressi... (read in full...)
When ever I have sex with my husband I feel dirty!
Q. I love my husband and I am attracted to him, but every time we have sex I feel dirty and cheap afterwards. We only have sex about once a month and it's lights out him on top. I still feel dirty and horrible afterwards. It's affecting our marriage, ...
A. 30 June 2014: Dear OP,
I agree with the first agony aunt that it would be easier to give you advice, if we knew a little more.
But I'll try anyway to say one or two words.
You talk about yourself in a very negative way and it seems your low opinion stems fr... (read in full...)
He's 18. It feels right but wrong. How should I handle this considering that I live in a very closed community?
Q. Hi i really need advice on this,i feel so confused.. I recently met my best friend's cousin and i knew the minute i saw him that i liked him,i feel so attracted to him It's like nothing i have ever experienced.. The problem is he is 18!! A Also i...
A. 28 June 2014: Dear OP,
Nobody will give you a medal at the end of your life: "Hey, this is your award for always doing what your friends and family expected you to do". Nobody is going to say "thank you, dear, for sacrificing your happiness because of my close... (read in full...)
My Gf never initiates sex. Makes me feel I'm the only one who wants it. How can I encourage her to initiate sex?
Q. For the ladies, Ive been with my babe for 4 going on 5 years and we had sex about 2 months ago and both lost our virginity to each other. Awesome! But the whole time we have been together I always (if not mostly) initiate our intimacy and as her ...
A. 28 June 2014: Dear OP,
Yes, there are women who initiate sex and take pride in pleasuring men. BUT. Your girlfriend was a virgin two months ago and so were you, so chances are that you're both still very inexperienced and she didn't know how to please you and ... (read in full...)
Just discovered my boyfriend lied about having a child
Q. I APOLOGIZE THIS IS LONG BUT I'M BEGGING FOR INPUT ON THE SITUATION My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months and he is an ex army militant. In our early days I noticed he had a tattoo with a female name followed by a date which whe...
A. 28 June 2014: Dear OP,
If I was you, I would confront him.
You've been together for eight months. Maybe it's time to end it and he's not worth your time, but I believe it will still be best for you if you can talk, tell him how much he hurt and confused you... (read in full...)
He brought an 18 year old home and wanted a 3some. What to do to cope with my bad feelings over this?.
Q. I am dating a guy that I am crazy about, I am not what you would call a woman that has had the greatest track record with men, two divorces and several lost relationship problems in between with men and woman. Needless to say, been single for a wh...
A. 26 June 2014: Dear OP,
My advice about what you should do:
- Leave your boyfriend! No matter if he gives you butterflies. He's selfish.
- Learn to live as a happy single person! This will give you the patience to find a really good man at your side.. and a... (read in full...)
30 year old male virgin. Sexually frustrated and have Aspergers syndrome.
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a shy and sensitive university-educated 30 year old male who suffers from a mild autism known as Aspergers syndrome. Owing to my social interaction difficulties (I am not socially popular and have no true friends),I have nev...
A. 24 June 2014: Dear OP,
I can't guarantee you that this plan is going to work, but I find it worth a try, since this worked for me. I am bisexual, but never had sex with a man until I was in my late 20's. I did exactly the thing you proposed: I lost my virginit... (read in full...)
How can I accept being ugly?
Q. How can I accept being ugly? I'm too old to be wondering this. But I'm ugly, as a kid I felt awkward about my appearance and high school was hell with all the bullying. There are things I can change, like lose a little weight, take care of my ...
A. 19 June 2014: Dear OP,
Thank you for clarifying that this has also to do with your cultures' standards. I've been to a south american country (Brazil) for one month and I was really surprised how much people are into a very narrow definition of "beauty"... (read in full...)
How do I tell her without offending her about her wiping issue?
Q. Hi I just started dating a new girl . The sex is great and we both oral fixated me giving and her getting . There is one problem she wants her anus licked which I usually enjoy doing but there is a problem with this she has a wiping problem back ...
A. 18 June 2014: Dear OP,
It would embarrass me like crazy, but if I was in her shoes, I'd rather know the truth.
Maybe you can say it in a friendly and humourus way? I'm not creative enough to come up with something good to say, but if you are not too accusato... (read in full...)
Wondering about the "swinging" lifestyle
Q. My wife told me one of her friends recently confided in her that she and her husband have been visiting swingers clubs over the past few months. It started off with her fantasies to have two men at once, but since then has escalated and both of them ...
A. 17 June 2014: Dear OP,
I once met a woman who was into swinging. She emotionally coerced me into having sex with her and her partner and didn't feel the least bit of remorse when I told her I felt she urged me to go beyond my boundaries. From then on (and due... (read in full...)
How can I accept being ugly?
Q. How can I accept being ugly? I'm too old to be wondering this. But I'm ugly, as a kid I felt awkward about my appearance and high school was hell with all the bullying. There are things I can change, like lose a little weight, take care of my ...
A. 17 June 2014: Dear OP,
There are things you'll have to accept: Like your body height. Or your hair texture. There's nothing you can do about it, it's genetics.
However, it's too easy to just say "I need to accept being ugly". There are things you can do about... (read in full...)
He actually strikes me as very needy, controlling, desperate and emotionally weak.. I don't know.. what do you think?
Q. Ok so I really need help on this one. I met this Guy online and although we haven't Met yet, (we just chatted, exchange emails, and talked on the phone for about a month now) we both could tell that there's chemistry and emotional connection between ...
A. 15 June 2014: Dear OP,
I think that either of your messages could be easily misunderstood: Your first message sounded too cold for my taste, his reply sounded very hurt but somehow still interested, and your next one sounded really defensive and slightly... (read in full...)
Is this long distance relationship worth sticking with?
Q. I'm in a LDR I see my boyfriend 20-25 days in a year, I'm feeling like he doesn't care too much anymore. It's all about his work, where he wants to leave and I'm expected to be happy with that. Is it worth being in a relationship like that? ...
A. 4 June 2014: Dear OP,
For me, it wouldn't be worth it, no. Unless this is clearly temporary and you have future plans to end the long distance thing and to move closer to each other. But it sounds like this is very one-sided and not much fun.
... (read in full...)
What can I do to stop these feelings? Am I the only 13 year old who gets sexual urges? I know I cannot act on these urges.
Q. Help me! I keep feeling sexual urges. I know I can't have sex at this age, and not for a long time yet, but why do I keep feeling like this? I can't tell my friends, they'll think I'm a pervert. Can I stop this? Am I the only one?...
A. 3 June 2014: Dear OP,
I also started to have sexual urges at your age. This is only showing you are slowly becoming a woman, it's very natural. You don't have to stop this, it's part of being a grown up. And biologically, you will be a grown-up soon, with you... (read in full...)
She said my 'offer' isn't good enough?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years and I recently asked her to move in with me. However she turned me down. I'll admit we've had our arguments over the years, mainly because she kept saying she thought I acted single but I've never ...
A. 29 May 2014: Dear OP,
In relationships, there often isn't one "right" and one "wrong". Your girlfriend wants something different than you. Or so it seems.
She would like to settle down and find someone to marry and have children with, you would like to go a... (read in full...)
I am fit and petite but I have no boobs. He's a boob man. Is there any chance that he'll consider me attractive?
Q. Would you find a woman with a squatting bum, defined stomach/ faint abs and slight thigh gap attractive, even if she was basically flat chested? I only ask because I'm going to a pool party with the guy i'm dating this weekend and I don't want him...
A. 28 May 2014: Dear OP,
This guy has already seen you and probably knows your breasts are not that big (unless you always wear exaggerated push up bras). So don't worry. At all. Relax, enjoy the date, enjoy to show him your fit body!
He's there because he's... (read in full...)
I've been diagnosed with bipolar but my husband doesn't believe in it
Q. I was diagnosed with Bipolar several months ago, and when I broke the news to my husband he was less than accepting. I told him that I didn't tell him sooner because I was worried he would think I'm crazy, but he said "You're right, I do think ...
A. 24 May 2014: Dear OP,
I agree with the other agony aunts, you need help. And if your husband doesn't support you, get support elsewhere. It can't be that a grown up woman like you can't go see a professional or join a self-help group, because she is controll... (read in full...)
Is being horny tons of times a day normal?
Q. Hello. Just wondering if being horny tons of times is normal. Ever since i turned 13 I've been getting horny urges. They were laxed originally but as i got to about 18 they started to become very abundant. My estimate (because i don't keep track...
A. 23 May 2014: Dear OP,
You are normal. Guys have more testosterone than women and that makes you more horny. Even I know phases where I am horny 5 times a day and I ignore those impulses sometimes, sometimes I give into it. I think it's neither unhealth... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...
A. 22 May 2014: Dear OP,
Thank you for clarifying about the beer incident.
I can understand that you are very hurt. And it's hard, feeling outside the norm. Very hard. I can relate to that.
But if you act out your anger on other people and if it gets you bitt... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...
A. 20 May 2014: Dear OP,
If you keep mourning over rejection for years, you don't give anybody else a chance. There is always someone in the world who only wants to be friends with you, nobody is attractive to everyone. But it's your choice to stay in someone ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 13 February 2014: Dear OP,
You've only ever dated few women, sometimes under the pretext of being a study buddy. You've limited yourself to date women of a certain race, probably from a more conservative culture. I think there are very few people who would be succe... (read in full...)
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