Three years of emails and now he wants FWB?
Q. When I have known someone for three years and there is no relationship. Just emails. Three dates for coffee and chatting. Emails only. Now he has indicated he can only be friends with benefits as that is the only thing that works for him he ...
A. 12 September 2014: Dear OP,
You are tired - rightfully so! Find yourself a real deal.. a man who wants to be there, physically, emotionally and through communication. Those emails have become a way to spend some time while waiting for something better. For the both... (read in full...)
Their house cleaning isn't up to American standards -- would an anonymous letter be a good idea?
Q. We have some good friends who are smart, friendly adults. The only thing is, they seem to never clean their bathroom. For instance the toilet is often disgusting. My theory is that since they both grew up in a different country, perhaps their home ...
A. 11 September 2014: Dear OP,
I fully agree with your wife.
My grandmother always used to say: "If you can't say it in that persons' face, don't say it at all". I think that's a good rule to live by: You either have the courage to say what you've got to say, or you ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should've had sex with him?
Q. Please help me!!! I had been going out with this guy for 2 years until he dumped me round 7-8 months ago. The reason for this was because he asked me if I'd have sex with him and I said no because we're waaayyy too young, (we're both 13) He sai...
A. 11 September 2014: Dear OP,
You completely did the right thing there. I am sorry you were with such an ungrateful little b*tch of a boyfriend and I'm sure he and his new girlfriend "deserve" each other.
Look, if he had really loved you, he wouldn't have tr... (read in full...)
My step-son confessed to something I haven't encountered before
Q. So my step son is 11 going on 12. I have known him since he was 5 years old. He told me the other night that he couldn't sleep cause he did something and it was on his mind. He didn't want to tell me but I got it out of him. He told me it was ...
A. 10 September 2014: Dear OP,
He is a child and still a lot of his mind is very innocent. Children have a different sense of sexuality, about what is okay and what is not, they are still learning the boundaries of adult life. For instance, you will see a lot of child... (read in full...)
I enjoy sex but hate to think I have a bad reputation
Q. I am a single 22 year old woman and enjoy sex. I have had sex with a total of ten guys since i was 17 and can go a few months without any sexual interaction. Yet i am worried i come across slutty when i do go home with someone. I am always safe but ...
A. 9 September 2014: Dear OP,
It's possibly true that some people will judge you based on the number of sexual partners you have. To them, having slept with 10 guys at the age of 22 will make you a slut. But you know.. in some countries women are already consider... (read in full...)
Money and promotion, or job satisfaction?
Q. Quick question.. When it comes to work, would you rather choose a job you adore and could see yourself doing forever, but has little chance of promotion and low pay OR a job you tolerate, but the chances of promotion are high, and the pay i...
A. 6 September 2014: Dear OP,
For myself, I set a minimum salary that I feel I need/deserve to earn in order to pay my bills and have a bit of "everyday luxury" (eating at a restaurant every now and then, cheap holidays once a year or so). Let's say it's XY dollars.... (read in full...)
Is a 20-Year-Old Girl Too Young For a 35-Year-Old Guy?
Q. I'm 20, going on 21 very soon, and I've recently met a 35-year-old guy whom I really fancy through a friend at work (I have a full-time career as I never went to university). He definitely isn't my usual "type," and we have some quite significant ...
A. 5 September 2014: Dear OP,
You can think about it as much as you like, but at some point, it's just better to find out. You can't know everything in advance. And at the end of your life, you might be more likely to regret the chances that you didn't take, the ques... (read in full...)
It seems clear that my husband wants something I can't give him and nothing will change
Q. My husband of 15 years and I are currently seperated . A large part of the reason for the separation was his lusting after other women and porn use. He never complimented me . I felt undesirable and very unhappy. We even went through counselling ...
A. 5 September 2014: Dear OP,
He is looking at other women. That is something very hurtful, but I would say, it's a lack of character that might be compensated by other virtues (if there are some). I would like to know if, apart from this dinner, he has made any othe... (read in full...)
He bullied me into an abortion last time, so how do I tell him I'm pregnant?
Q. Can anyone help!! I think i just need someone to talk to and not judge! I have been with my on off partner for 3 years. At the minute u could say we have been casual...just dating. Last year I fell pregnant and he bullied and manipulated me over th ...
A. 4 September 2014: Dear other agony aunts and uncles.. the OP asked us NOT to judge her. She was on the pill, which is usually a safe way of contraception. Yes, she could have been even more protective, but you know, in hindsight everybody is way smarter than before. ... (read in full...)
I had an affair with a younger man and I wanted to hurt his girlfriend so I told her about what we did. I thought this would break them but they're back together. What do I do now?
Q. I've been very stupid. 6 weeks ago I started to talk to a man 11 years younger than myself, he was at work when I met him and I asked for his number for a job that I needed doing in my home. I text him and it started off innocently, I ne...
A. 2 September 2014: Dear OP,
If you call her, you will look crazy and embarrass yourself, because it's obvious that your motives are selfish. You were horrible to that woman and now she surely won't believe a word that comes out of your mouth. And you'll look rep... (read in full...)
Please advice me on how to make the separation and divorce as painless as possible for my son
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. Ive been married for 5 years. My husband cheated on me. He doesnt know why. To be honest Internet dont wanna hear it either. Maybe life was too perfect and he got bored. His own fault. He sleeps in the guest room until I can ...
A. 2 September 2014: Dear OP,
I am sorry if my answer was somehow misleading. You see, on the internet it's hard sometimes to interpret a question or post. The question was what you could do to make the separation easier, and the only thing I can think of is to let y... (read in full...)
Please advice me on how to make the separation and divorce as painless as possible for my son
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. Ive been married for 5 years. My husband cheated on me. He doesnt know why. To be honest Internet dont wanna hear it either. Maybe life was too perfect and he got bored. His own fault. He sleeps in the guest room until I can ...
A. 1 September 2014: Dear OP,
I understand that you are deeply hurt. You did everything you could and you were betrayed this way. I understand you want a divorce.
My advice, my big and honest and only advice is to not get your pain, anger and need for revenge in b... (read in full...)
How can I reconnect when I don't know anything about him, not even his name!
Q. So i met this guy and i just fell for him the moment i saw him. I was invited to do some work for the company where he works and we just hit it off. Then only thing is I want to ask him out but i have never asked a guy out before. And the problem is ...
A. 28 August 2014: Dear OP,
Why not try it? The worst result is that he could say "no", and that's just a normal thing when adults are dating and looking for a partner.
If I was you, I'd make up an excuse to ask the colleague for the guys' phone number or mail. Say... (read in full...)
Is it arrogant to think that you're "too good" for someone?
Q. Is it okay to think that you're too good for someone (or that you want to reject them based on your high standards), provided you don't say it to anyone else? To merely think it as part of making a decision? Just found out a male acquaintance sec...
A. 28 August 2014: Dear OP,
If you just say "we are incompatible" instead of "I'm too good" (a small detail), it's not arrogant, but very healthy and wise.
When dating, "no" is a very important word, or else you'll end up in very bad situations, with people who w... (read in full...)
Suspicious behaviour from my wife in the context of a poor marriage
Q. Ok so here is the situation. About 2 yrs. ago my wife tells me that she is not in love with me anymore and that we should separate. The next day she wants to take back what she said and work on our marriage. So I agree. Anyways, My wife is ...
A. 28 August 2014: Dear OP,
You're in a sex-less marriage that is void of any real, honest communication. It sounds more like you're sharing a place with a distant roommate.
If the two of you don't sit down and really talk about what's going on. Yes, I think you... (read in full...)
How to play hard to get, during SEX?
Q. I'd like to sort of drive my new guy crazy before giving in to sex when I'm at his place next time. How do I go about doing this subtly, sort of playing hard to get until he gets really fustrated and just can't resist anymore? I'm thinking maybe let ...
A. 28 August 2014: Dear OP,
I don't recommend the approach you're suggesting. You don't want to make your boyfriend "really frustrated".. because that's not how you get great sex, just a pissed-off boyfriend. I think what you are looking for is ways to tease yo... (read in full...)
To anyone who has had therapy for depression, what was your experience like?
Q. Hi, I have a quick question. I'm 25 and I have just been diagnosed with depression, and will be starting therapy soon. I guess I just wanted to hear from anyone here who has been to therapy about what to expect. I'm curious to hear about your ...
A. 28 August 2014: Dear OP,
I've been diagnosed with recurrent depressive disorder some years ago. In the meantime I recovered and feel completely healthy. It wasn't a fast process, but I am happy I managed to get out of this black hole and my life is filled w... (read in full...)
I want to hate my boyfriend so I can leave him
Q. Dear Cupid Im with my current bf for past 4 years. Its been 6 months since we actually had a good talk, went on a romantic date.... I just come home from work, cook dinner and wait for him, he hangs around with his friends after work, come home ...
A. 17 August 2014: Dear OP,
There's no need to hate him. It's enough to love yourself and assure yourself that you are a strong woman. You are stuck with an "idiot" because you don't love yourself enough to ask life for something better, or because you feel too weak... (read in full...)
How do I feel more comfortable with my penis size?
Q. This is a usual thing for some blokes but how do I feel more comfortable with my penis size? guessing the main answer is to sleep with more women and hope they are really nice lol One issue is because I don't like my size it holds me back as I fee...
A. 17 August 2014: Dear OP,
... maybe you should consider professional help on this. Because it sounds like your penis size has way too much of a negative effect on your mental health and your relationships. You ruined the intimacy of a great relationship with you... (read in full...)
My fiancée wants a girls' holiday but the idea makes me uncomfortable
Q. Hi I have been with my fiancée now for 4 years an she keeps saying she wants to go on a girls holiday and I feel really uncomfortable with her going to another country clubbing with just girls. Am I wrong to feel uncomfortable with it?...
A. 16 August 2014: Dear OP,
I can understand you, but you should trust your fiancee and let her go on that holiday. Me and my friends love girls' holidays and none of the girls who are in a relationship would do anything inappropriate. The point of a girls' holiday,... (read in full...)
How do I feel more comfortable with my penis size?
Q. This is a usual thing for some blokes but how do I feel more comfortable with my penis size? guessing the main answer is to sleep with more women and hope they are really nice lol One issue is because I don't like my size it holds me back as I fee...
A. 16 August 2014: Dear OP,
Instead of telling you that size doesn't matter (you won't believe me), I tell you this: Nobody is perfect. Not you, not the women you sleep with.
You can either be insecure for the rest of your life, because you're not perfect, or ... (read in full...)
Sex with my partner is so predictable I can't bring myself to do it anymore
Q. I've been with my partner for three years and at first our sex life was amazing. We would do it every night in a variety of places and positions.... Of course I expected that it was begin to calm down but it has got to a point now when I literally ...
A. 16 August 2014: Dear OP,
I don't want to give you a kick up the back side, I understand this is a problem. I can't give you a solution, but some ideas:
1) Please admit to your partner that there is a problem and say it in a way that he can't misunderstand. D... (read in full...)
I want to leave my boyfriend because just now it's feeling like our relationship is more like a comfy convenient situation instead of a loving happy one. I want to open up to my friend and not feel guilty about hanging about with him. Advice?
Q. OK,so I'm needing some advice, not criticism buy good solid advice.Recently I have been up and down emotional, I have a lot to deal with just now but I was fine up until about six weeks ago. Six weeks ago my life changed and it's been tough, I have ...
A. 15 August 2014: Dear OP,
I believe you don't really need our advice, because you already know - deep down - what you want. You want to break up and try it with your new friend (who probably only acts like a platonic friend because he knows you are in a relation... (read in full...)
13 years and 3 kids in he says " I have been wondering what it is like to be with other women"
Q. I woul love some advise please. 13 years and 3 kids in he says " I have been wondering what it is like to be with other women" he was a virgin when we met (not that he told me) and he regrets not sleeping with more women. He works away a lot and ...
A. 10 August 2014: Dear OP,
You sound really scared. But before you let yourself get bullied to stay in an unsatisfying relationship: Is your situation the same as your brother-in-law? IF you "go", as in abandoning everyone,.. okay, but what if you just want a d... (read in full...)
13 years and 3 kids in he says " I have been wondering what it is like to be with other women"
Q. I woul love some advise please. 13 years and 3 kids in he says " I have been wondering what it is like to be with other women" he was a virgin when we met (not that he told me) and he regrets not sleeping with more women. He works away a lot and ...
A. 9 August 2014: Dear OP,
First of all, I feel a lot of compassion for you. This situation must really hurt you a lot. Especially that your husband is somehow blaming you and then again, just blaming a phenomenon like "midlife-crisis".
What I would suggest thou... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a stalker and it was justified because of my actions. What should I do to recover from this?
Q. This morning my boyfriend borrowed my phone and saw that i had typed in google the name of a girl that he had recently added on a social media site to see who they were. I denied i had done it and didnt know how it was on there which was an obvious ...
A. 9 August 2014: Dear OP,
You are not a stalker, that's a complete exaggeration.
But, is it possible that there is a problem of trust in this relationship, or why did you google that girl and why did he look at your search history? If a transgressio... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend is shaming me and my sexual preferences! Am I in the wrong? Have I pushed him too far? Or am I really that disgusting?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years - at least 18 months of which have been based on serious long term commitment to each other with the future in mind. We have an average sex life. I have accepted that I am a more...
A. 6 August 2014: Dear OP,
If you want to stay together with him for the rest of your life.. be prepared for a life of sexual frustration.
The problem is not the way you communicate, but that you two will never agree on what is HOT and what is NOT. No matter ho... (read in full...)
Advice for talking to my parents about being bisexual
Q. I am bisexual but dont know how to tell my parents. I dont have a clue what their veiws on the LGBT community are and cant find out because i CANT talk to them about love or relationships or that AT ALL so i dunno what 2 do cuz... yeh. Should i ...
A. 6 August 2014: Dear OP,
At your age, you are still exploring your sexuality. No one expects you to already come out and make a statement about your preferences, this is the age where you start to try out what you like.
I believe you when you say that you are... (read in full...)
I need ideas for a vegetarian meal for our upcoming party
Q. Definitely not a relationship question but sometimes help and inspiration come from the most unlikely sources.... One of the hobby groups I'm in has an annual "long weekend away" shindig (party) which is coming up in about 3 weeks. Everybody...
A. 5 August 2014: Dear OP,
I'd also go for a vegetarian barbeque. There are veggie burgers, also there is cheese which can be grilled, baked potatoes, even veggie sausages. To make the meal more substantial, you can bring salads, add desserts like the apples y... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy shares his baby and childhood photos with you?
Q. Hi Aunts, I know I don't share baby photos with just anyone, even friends. I have fallen for a man I've known for a long time and I suspects he feels similarly. I was wondering what it means when a guy you are interested in shares baby/childh...
A. 4 August 2014: Dear OP,
I also think it means something positive. He wants to share his story with you. I would only share such photos with someone I feel very close to. So I think he feels really close to you. ... (read in full...)
I keep having trouble reading women and I'm getting frustrated!
Q. All my life, I keep having trouble meeting girls/young women and I know I must be reading them wrong. Tell me please what magic tricks you're using because I've asked and I've read up on body language and I'm still lost (and yeah, getting pissed ...
A. 28 July 2014: Dear OP,
I am a female and there is no magic trick to read other people.
My first advice is to forget the stupid body language bullshit you've read, because it's just people trying to make money by showing you "6 ways to know if she will go home... (read in full...)
I'm afraid the women I am seeing will fall apart if I would end things and I'm feeling the pressure
Q. So, here's the situation. I've been seeing a woman that I met through mutual friends for about 3 months now. Generally, she's cool and very bubbly. I'm a little freaked out right now. She just came over and I told her that a friend of mine t...
A. 26 July 2014: Dear OP,
I am really sorry for you. This woman exhibits behaviors that sound like she has a borderline personality disorder.
I was never confronted with a situation like this, but I know that people like her can and will act truly crazy to m... (read in full...)
I'm afraid the women I am seeing will fall apart if I would end things and I'm feeling the pressure
Q. So, here's the situation. I've been seeing a woman that I met through mutual friends for about 3 months now. Generally, she's cool and very bubbly. I'm a little freaked out right now. She just came over and I told her that a friend of mine t...
A. 24 July 2014: Dear OP,
I wrote my message BEFORE I read your follow up.
This is a very bad compromise you only made because you were confused, scared, or feeling pity because of her emotional outburst. Of course, I feel sorry for this woman too - but can you ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid the women I am seeing will fall apart if I would end things and I'm feeling the pressure
Q. So, here's the situation. I've been seeing a woman that I met through mutual friends for about 3 months now. Generally, she's cool and very bubbly. I'm a little freaked out right now. She just came over and I told her that a friend of mine t...
A. 24 July 2014: Dear OP,
On one hand I understand this crying scene and the weird stories of her past. If she is really in love with you, she might feel like she can be totally open, share everything and that she has found something she's never had. It would be... (read in full...)
Every time I sleep with him I fall more in love with him! Advice needed, please!
Q. I've been sleeping with this guy on and off for about 6 years when I say on and off I mean 2-3 time a year. Each time I've seen him I've fell more and more In love with him. The only problem is he's married with a kid, this is where it gets ...
A. 24 July 2014: Dear OP,
If you're like me, good sex will always somehow have the effect that you will feel in love. If you find the right man, it will be a gift to feel this way, because it will make you feel connected to your partner. But take care, my dear, wo... (read in full...)
I'm gay, I am dating two women, who do I choose?
Q. hi i have a really bad problem i just met two women more less at the same time a couple of weeks ago. im a lesbian by the way and they both like me, im dating them both. i really like them both and no idea what one to choose at all. they both smoke ...
A. 22 July 2014: Dear OP,
Honestly, I think you should choose neither.
Because if one of these women had really touched your heart and make you fall in love - you would not have ONE second of doubt. Your heart would tell you, clearly, who you need to be with. ... (read in full...)
How late is too late for guys to enter the dating game and start looking for a relationship
Q. How late is too late for guys to enter the dating game and start looking for a relationship. 25? 30? 35? I mean, to really just START! Never had a girlfriend, never been on a date before, maybe never even kissed a girl. This could all be due ...
A. 22 July 2014: Dear OP,
I'd say - better late than never.
No matter how old you are, if you want a girlfriend, just start dating now.
You can't expect things to be easy for you, because as you said, you are surrounded by people who have more experience. So... (read in full...)
Why would a girl that I hurt so much want to meet up after a couple years just 'to see how things were'?
Q. Please advice on this would be great!! I don't want to be swayed by the lads incase I'm wrong and do something stupid again. I dated this girl for a while just over 2 years ago, a long time now and she didn't know how strong my feelings for her...
A. 21 July 2014: Dear OP,
That this girl wants to meet you makes sense to me. Things between the both of you were unfinished and cut off without good reason. I suppose she wants closure, or to show you, show herself, that she finally can get over you.
Don't b... (read in full...)
Will I ever stop regretting that I wasted my 20s?
Q. Hello helpers, Recently I am coming to terms that I have been depressed some way for nearly 10 years now. I didn't think I was before I just thought life was naff and I could never be happy. But anyway over the years I have spent time with no amb...
A. 19 July 2014: Dear OP,
I think one day, those feelings might go away.
But first, I think it's natural that you will have to go through a grieving process. Realize what you've lost, what you didn't get but would have needed at that time. This is going to be ... (read in full...)
A question for men on women's weight?
Q. I would like some advice on something that came up in a previous question that has also been on my mind . I am a healthy weight woman according to the weight for height charts and yet at times when I have lost weight and become somewhat underwei...
A. 18 July 2014: Dear OP,
Women with bigger boobs usually get more attention than women with smaller boobs. Women with long hair usually get more attention than women with short hair. Women in mini dresses usually get more attention then women in old hippie c... (read in full...)
I told my porn-addicted fiance that if he looked at porn again, I'm done. I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and guess what?
Q. My now fiance had a porn addiction he was even looking at it at work. I basically told him if you do it again i'm done, this was over a year ago and i never caught him looking at it until now. I'm 37 weeks pregnant I looked at his phone history last ...
A. 17 July 2014: Dear OP,
An addiction is very hard to fight, and relapses are part of the healing process. If you expect your fiance to quit porn completely, from one day to the other, without ever falling back into an old pattern, you might have set the bar too ... (read in full...)
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