My violent sexual fantasies bother me
Q. [MOD NOTE: OP's title] I have a sort of embarassing problem. Ever since I started discovering sex I tend to have extremely violent fantasies of me dominating men. It's always random, anonymous people, I can't imagine anyone I know there. It's mag...
A. 19 January 2015: Dear OP,
There's a huge difference between your imagination and what you like to do in real life, so I'm not really concerned about you doing something immoral or unethical one day.
Sadly, what we find sexually exciting is often times rand... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting my nineteen yr.old son to move out and get his own apartment?
Q. Dear Cupid,I have a three bedroom apt.my mom,son and I live there its roomy for us .But my son has a problem with helping with house hold chores.He works and goes to school but in between time he doesn't take trash out wash dishes or anything to ...
A. 17 January 2015: Dear OP,
I tend to say that yes, you might be wrong by trying to look for an apartment for him, and I will state my reasons.
First, he's probably under a lot of stress, working and going to school. It's a great achievement and shows responsibi... (read in full...)
I've been doing everything I'm supposed to in order to move on, but I just can't get there
Q. I need some guidance. How do you begin to get over someone? I've been doing all that I can to keep busy. I've been taking care of our child. Our child's care is certainly first priority. It's been almost a year, so I've had time to heal. I tried ...
A. 15 January 2015: Dear OP,
I believe you haven't moved on yet, because you don't really accept it's over. You keep telling yourself "if only..". If only you had fought more. If only you could get him back. If only you got a second chance with him. If only he broke... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't touch me! How do I tell her this without upsetting her?
Q. Im in a lesbian relationship and I have been with my girlfriend for about 6 months we have alot of sex, but she dosnt touch me. Its always me touching her. How can I bring up to her that it bothers me a lot that I'm always giving to her and she ...
A. 14 January 2015: Dear OP,
For me, sex in a relationship is about mutual pleasure. You probably can't bring this up in an easy way, because it's a heavy problem to be in a one-sided sexual relationship.
The fact that your girlfriend won't touch you is a warning... (read in full...)
Advice please. Has anyone ever stayed in a long term relationship due to the SEX being out of this world?
Q. What do you do when you and your boyfriend have this crazy, intense, over the top physical, sexual chemistry that neither of you has ever experienced with anyone else? And it seems to sometimes take on a life of its own? I find it gets in the way ...
A. 12 January 2015: Dear OP,
Reading your post I got a bit jealous and asked myself if you really have a problem.. or if you're just bragging? Anyway, congrats my dear, I really enjoy to hear any lady that's having a good time ;) Especially after a divorce - good on ... (read in full...)
Men in tights: what do girls think of them?
Q. Hi! I would like to know if women find it okay to see men in tights. I wear tights to my gym as I find them comfortable and they make me feel sexy too. I'm planning to get married soon and would like to know whether generally women find it okay for ...
A. 11 January 2015: Dear OP,
In general, tights are still considered a rather feminine thing at the gym. If you're a very individualistic person who doesn't care about being mocked, you are free to wear them wherever you want.
But if you want to look "sexy" to th... (read in full...)
Will I always regret not sleeping with someone else if we do marry?
Q. I was brought up in quite a religious family and was taught not to have sex before marriage. While all my friends were having a varied sex life during uni I was with another guy who had similar values. We broke up and I have now been with my cur...
A. 11 January 2015: Dear OP,
I was in a similar situation like you once and broke up to make another experience. And it was a good decision that I will never regret.
If you ask me now, the important thing wasn't to physically experience another way of having se... (read in full...)
When I asked him if he loved me, he replied with "I'd rather not comment." Does he love me or not? How do I know?
Q. So there is this guy who I love deeply (or maybe its infatuation for a whole year). I think he has feelings for me although sometimes am not so sure. Last night while we were chatting, I told him that I loved him and he said "That ain't no secret" ...
A. 9 January 2015: Dear OP,
If you say "I love you" and that other person doesn't say "I love you too" back.. then that's basically already an answer. It means that they are having serious doubts about their feeling at least.
If you ask if he loves you and he repli... (read in full...)
It seems that everything I do is pointless
Q. I am not okay with myself. I've been told to be positive and that the situation I am in is not the end of the world by many people but it doesn't help. My Mother and family tear me down at every chance about how much of a failure I am and ask how am ...
A. 9 January 2015: Dear OP,
I feel very sorry for you. Todays' educational system can be really tough and it seems you didn't have enough support in your life, but rather you were put down when you needed someone to lift you up.
You're neither useless nor hopeless... (read in full...)
I really like him but he never went to university.
Q. I really like this guy I've been chatting with. He's caring, kind and hardworking but, I just found out that he didn't go to university. I know this shouldn't matter, but I cant seem to get over the prejudice that because he didn't get a higher ...
A. 9 January 2015: Dear OP,
Maybe you first need to realize if you're still holding on to your parents' beliefs.
And find out if this is true for you.
What evidence did you find in your life, that people who have been to university are smarter than others? Be ... (read in full...)
I'll stay out of my daughter's life if that's what's best for her, but is it?
Q. Hi all I am a dead beat dad. I admit it. Due to suffering cronic depression, I have spent almost no time with my daughter. Truthfully I dont know her all that well. She is now turned 16 and is a strong confident young woman. Mid 2014, I f...
A. 6 January 2015: Dear OP,
I agree with honeypies advice.
Your daughter must have spent most of her life without you, and now you're suddenly there, wanting to see her every week and calling you dad.. no no no, that's not how this works.
She would have ne... (read in full...)
Please help me to understand and come to terms with my situation
Q. First, may I commend you on this site. I stumbled across it like everyone else here because I recently had a relationship end that I am struggling to come to terms with, and understand how things are as they are now. The other issue I have is that ...
A. 6 January 2015: Dear OP,
Thank you for updating.
Dear anonymous,
You are probably right by saying that if you're the outside lover, it's easy to fall into the trap and believe every negative thing that is said about the wife/current partner.
I agree that m... (read in full...)
Lesbian cousins on a blood vow... halp!
Q. So im a lesbian and i happen to be in love with my lesbian cousin. Our relationship is going fine, and neither of our parents are homophobic, but we're wondering how they will react to incest. where i live incest has certain rules: sisters or direct ...
A. 4 January 2015: Dear OP,
Your blood doesnt' flow in each others veins - unless you had a blood donation where one of you injected blood directly into the veins of the other.
Anyway, your post sounds young and confused.
I'm a bisexual woman myself, so I hat... (read in full...)
Please help me to understand and come to terms with my situation
Q. First, may I commend you on this site. I stumbled across it like everyone else here because I recently had a relationship end that I am struggling to come to terms with, and understand how things are as they are now. The other issue I have is that ...
A. 3 January 2015:
Dear OP,
Your story almost made me cry. It's truly sad and reminds me of my own situation (had fallen in love with a married man who has a child.. in the end, he decided to stay with his family, even though he said he had never loved any wo... (read in full...)
Still a virgin - is it too late for me?
Q. Dear Cupid, So cards in the table, I'm a 28 year old virgin and very inexperienced (I.e have only ever kissed and had my breasts fondled). I'm not religious, or waiting for my soul mate it's just I've been very career focused so relationships/se...
A. 3 January 2015: Dear OP,
No, it's not too late! I know because I was a real late-bloomer, too.
I agree that it IS weird to be still a virgin at your age. But when we approach our 30s, we often realize that everybody has some weirdness, baggage, problems, is... (read in full...)
Toubled relationship with my mother since she confessed she has been having an affair with a married man before and after my father died
Q. My father passed away 6 months ago and over Christmas my mother told me she has been having an affair for the past 5 years with a married man. This included the period my father was terminally ill and she bought this guy round the house so he was f...
A. 2 January 2015:
Dear OP,
I can understand that this is very hard for you. You probably also still mourn over your father and you could need some support in getting over this loss, but already you need to step up to a new and very difficult task: To be there for... (read in full...)
I want to build the relationship before we have sex.
Q. Dear all, I am nervous. A guy that I have cooked for in my place, gone to dinner with and been chatting with for at least a month now is coming to visit me again over the weekend. We enjoy great conversations - where he has virtually told me...
A. 2 January 2015: Dear OP,
You are still a virgin - does he know that?
Because "coming over for the weekend" is 100% associated with the expectation of sex. And a man in his thirties who is going out with a woman his age surely assumes that you have some degree ... (read in full...)
Would you be with someone who wouldn't have sex unless you used a condom?
Q. Hi everyone. A question for both, men and women: how would you feel if someone you want to be intimate with won't do so unless you use a condom? Boyfriend or girlfriend relationship type. Also, if you get asked to be tested for STDS, do you do it? ...
A. 2 January 2015: Dear OP,
When I am with somebody new, I insist on using condoms until I am sure they're tested and negative when it comes to STDs. This is also what my gynecologist advised me, and I think it's smart.
After that, when the relationship is ... (read in full...)
How do I make my personality more positive?
Q. Hey guys I am 18 and I always feel that something bad will happen I always have negative thinking all the time. It is affecting my behaviour and my social life and I am really getting tensed because of this. Somedays back I went for my friend (girl) ...
A. 1 January 2015: Dear OP,
You don't have a bad personality! You sound as if you care about people and want to improve as a person. Those are already virtues that will help you throughout your life. BUT you are still insecure and scared about the world. It's und... (read in full...)
My daughter wont let him in the house, and my parents say to leave him
Q. I'm 43 been in a relationship over a year and a half I love him but he cheated on me with his ex, we got back together and I fell pregnant all my family are telling me to have an abortion and get rid of him I love him it's over between him and his ...
A. 1 January 2015: Dear OP,
While I am sorry that you feel controlled and blackmailed.. there seems to be a reason that your family tries to intervene in your relationships. It seems that they don't trust in your ability to make sound decisions, and when I read you... (read in full...)
How much texting is too much texting?
Q. How much texting (of the opposite sex) is considered flirting or cheating when you are in an exclusive relationship? I got angry after discovering my bf has been texting other girls almost everyday. I asked to see his messages but he deleted them ...
A. 1 January 2015: Dear OP,
This is definitely suspicious. It may not be "technically" cheating in a sexual way, but a form of emotional cheating, because obviously he's not focused on you and he's hiding things from you. If those messages were just friendly... (read in full...)
Which path should I go down for myself and my daughter?
Q. Dear cupid, I have a daughter I'd like to provide for. The problem is that I can't decide on how to go about it. At first, I decided to join the military, but once I realized that my personality doesn't match the lifestyle I changed my mind and...
A. 30 December 2014: Dear OP,
I'm not from the U.S., but if I was you, I wouldn't join the military. Because you might get deployed and get injured/die, so you can't provide for your daughter anymore. And when you're in another country, or in training, you won't se... (read in full...)
I verbally abuse my boyfriend!
Q. I verbally abuse my boyfriend and I am aware that it is wrong. However, I do it so he can pay attention to me. This time I did it while visiting his job. He ask me for a hug and I told him that I did not want to hug him. Then, I proceeded to tell ...
A. 30 December 2014: Dear OP,
Your post sounds as if you are very confused about your feelings/intuitions sometimes, and as if you act impulsively and destructive, without getting anything that you want.
But also, I'm not convinced that you really understand what ... (read in full...)
Why am I like this? I just feel my whole life has been unlucky in love - when everyone else seems to find happiness.
Q. All through my life I have avoided relationships and getting close to guys. When I was a teenager I was quite plain so never got any male attention. However as I grew older I blossomed and had a few men wanting to get close - but never the ones...
A. 30 December 2014: Dear OP,
I can't tell you why you are like this. Maybe it has to do with the way you grew up and the role models you had. Maybe you made some bad experiences. Or your ideas about love and relationships are unrealistic.
But no matter what is t... (read in full...)
Have I ruined my chance of turning this FWB into something more?
Q. Ok so I've had a fwb recently and it was all pretty normal like only texting to talk times unless last week I went to a party where he was there as well as my ex boyfriend (we went out years ago and now we're pretty close friends as he was a ...
A. 30 December 2014: Dear OP,
Before you want to fix it.. do you really want to turn this into something more? Because you don't sound as if you were in love with your fwb.
If you're "not so sure" about how you feel with a guy that you have sex with.. you're proba... (read in full...)
I can't understand myself
Q. So I meet men , we break up and later I find out they met someone else in less than a month. They block me from their lives or harrass me by using the other woman or completely disappears out my life. I am getting so sick and tired of this. I feel ...
A. 28 December 2014: Dear OP,
I don't think anything is wrong with you.
I suppose that something happened to you, that happens to a lot, maybe most women that have been single for some time (like me)..
You want to find a good man, but there is none at the moment (s... (read in full...)
Can age gaps work?
Q. Hi, why do I always fall for older men! I have had 2 serious relationships one when I was 19 and he was 38. Then I met my daughter's father (48) when I was 22 which ended badly. I swore after that I had to stick to men around my own age, more in ...
A. 27 December 2014: Dear OP,
I think that age-gap relationships could work under some circumstances: When both partners are emotionally mature, grown up and dependable people. Basically, when despite their different age, there is mutual respect and a certain equality... (read in full...)
I get my needs met online and my husband uses porn.
Q. I feel justified in getting feedback online from Men about my body to get my emotional needs met . I would never meet with one but it makes me feel desired loved and attractive My husband uses porn and says that there's no harm in it as he will ne...
A. 27 December 2014: Dear OP,
You both need the internet to get what you need. Is this relationship really what you want? Because it sounds like you two are totally frustrated and the computer screen is your only comfort.
I think there's a lot wrong with what you're ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says my the relationship between me and my son is unhealthy!
Q. My son 21 and we have a great mother and son relation but my girlfriend always finding fault in our relationship. Because my son tells me I'm his number one woman in his life and he's the only child i have and we can talk about everything, my ...
A. 27 December 2014: Dear OP,
We can't judge who is right or wrong here over the internet, but some considerations.
I grew up in a family where my dad was in love with my mom, and us kids had our own place in our child world. There was bedtime and the grown-ups wa... (read in full...)
Widowed mother sleeping with someone , I don't know with whom. What to do?
Q. Hey Guys, I'm From India ( Male ) and my father passed away 8 year ago and today i found a pregnant test at my home, ( i don't have sister, its just me and my mom, no one else live with us, and no she didn't buy for someone else.the one i f...
A. 27 December 2014: Dear OP,
In my country, it would be totally acceptable for a widowed woman to find a new partner and to have sex with him. It would be considered none of your business too, since you're a grown up man now and you both have your own lives. But of c... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to feel hurt that she let her exes give her oral sex but not me?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together getting on for five months now and at some point we have had a chat about the sexual experiences we've both had in our pasts. My girlfriend has openly talked about how she enjoyed oral sex when her ex's have ...
A. 26 December 2014: Dear OP,
This is just a blind guess.. but..
..could it be that your technique is not the best? And that you're continuously ignoring the hints of your gf? That you're too careless to shave, cut your fingernails, that you're too rough and insens... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 26 December 2014: Dear OP,
Who else can fix your issues, if not you?
What I can do from my part is to send you some positive, female energy through the internet. I wish for you that this new year will heal you, give you new and better experiences. I wish ... (read in full...)
Her words have me confused!
Q. When my ex broke up with me I told her how I wanted to marry her and that I was secretly saving money on the side to buy an engagement ring. She told me “Don’t buy her a ring because she wants a ring, buy her a ring because I want to buy her a ring” ...
A. 26 December 2014: Dear OP,
I think your ex meant that men should save for a wedding ring if they truly desire to marry the woman. And that you did something else, saving money to buy her a ring, because you thought SHE wanted one, but not out of your own desire. ... (read in full...)
Abusive manipulative ex bought me an xmas present. I' ve gone no contact but feel guilty for not saying thanks.
Q. Dear all. Happy Christmas!! Please advise. Thanks. I jave recently finally got out of a long horrid relationship with a guy My feelngs have almost gone, and I'm doing ok. Anyway, to get to this point I decided no contact was best, so changed ...
A. 26 December 2014: Dear OP,
To give you a christmas present one month after you cut contact, and sign it together with his sister is manipulative. It's a means to get what he wants, and not a selfless act of giving.
Don't fall for it, don't bother to say th... (read in full...)
I want to feel as strongly about my boyfriend as I do about this other man!
Q. I'm in a predicament that I've brought on myself. I have a partner of 12 years. He is good to me, I love him, but not in the way that I feel I should. There was never the initial attraction. I was in a bad place at the time and he was there. Our r...
A. 25 December 2014: Dear OP,
Other people might disagree with me, but my honest opinion is:
If there was no initial spark from your side and you're still not living together after 12 years.. forget it. You'll never ever feel this excitement about your boyfriend. I... (read in full...)
What's up with his behaviour? He has a Gf. Would it be weird to hang out with him?
Q. I saw a guy friend today that has a GF, he admitted he liked me and that he didn't want to hurt me or his GF by cheating but still bothers me to hang out with him. Its like he is obsessed. We used to hang out alot but I stopped since his GF is home ...
A. 24 December 2014: Dear OP,
Yes, I think it would be totally weird to just hang out with him. Because I can tell you that men don't just "hang out" with girls that they like. Never ever happens.
He acts like he doesn't want to hurt anyone - to sound noble - bu... (read in full...)
This will be my last attempt to save our marriage!
Q. After dealing with this for months/years now, here are the facts: I married a guy I know now I dont love anymore but still care and trust very deeply. I still can't forget about this other guy that I met and has made me happy, positive and felt love ...
A. 23 December 2014: Dear OP,
Oh, how I can understand.
May I add my two cents?
1. Focus on YOURSELF!
I know, I know. In relationships, we think "but if he says.. would I still.. and if he finally.. could I..?" Blablabla. We turn around in circles. But if you t... (read in full...)
Do December May relationships ever work, especially if the woman is older?
Q. Do December-May relationships ever work in the real world? Woman older, man 17 years younger....
A. 23 December 2014: Dear OP,
I never heard about the term december-may relationship, but I suppose it's a term that describes a relationship where one part is much older than the other.
I have heard some personal anectodes from relationships where the man is about... (read in full...)
I love her and we've been doing sexual things together. Despite all this she says she doesn't love me sexually. So what am I, to her?
Q. I've been best friends with a girl for 5 months. She's my daughters uncle's wife. We have been come really close, and doing sexual things with each other. It's happened 3 times now. I'm confused in what to do. I love her to bits, but she sa...
A. 23 December 2014: Dear OP,
Maybe she was just curious, needed some affection and to feel attractive to somebody. We'll never know unless you ask.
But I can help you out of your confusion: You need to end it.
Reasons why:
1) She's married (to a guy)
2) S... (read in full...)
I have sexual thoughts about my mother, and the guilt is eating me alive! Am I abnormal?
Q. I am a teenage male with OCD and I often have disturbing sexual thoughts about my mother that I always try to shake out of my head but sometimes that doesn't work and I end up masturbating to get rid of the thought (only on a few occasions has the ...
A. 22 December 2014: Dear OP,
Most people have disturbing, perverted, cruel, bizarre, violent, incestual or "disgusting" thoughts sometimes. They are able to say to themselves "WTF brain?" and then move on with their daily life without feeling guilty. Our mind som... (read in full...)
Is it okay to go out alone on New Year's Eve?
Q. The last few years I've been single and primarily friendless so I've stayed in watching tv trying to convince myself I wasn't bored. This year I'm still single, but my friends are coupled or will be out of town and I just can't stand the thought of ...
A. 22 December 2014: Dear OP,
I'm not a guy, so I am not sure if it's possible for men. But if I went out alone on new years' eve, I would end up crying in a corner. If I had to face all the couples and happy groups of friends, I would feel ultimately sorry for myse... (read in full...)
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